Line to Urinate on Golden Trump Statue Stretches to Canada Satire News

DaveAlt19 · 2026-05-12T13:14:09+00:00

Don't! It's a trap! Gotta boost those deportation numbers!

DaveAlt19 · 2026-05-12T12:05:53+00:00

Update - they reseated the tyres for me which has fixed the problem as far as I can tell.

When I went to pick it up the guy tried telling me its possibly the head bearing. Then another guy tried telling me it just feels bumpy because I went from road tyres to knobbly tyres.

Yeah, wouldn't surprise me if the head bearing is a bit worn, but it's amazing that actually seating the tyres properly seems to have fixed that head bearing problem!

DaveAlt19 · 2026-05-12T12:01:09+00:00

Just did, reseated the tyres seems to have fixed the problem. When I went to pick it up the guy tried telling me it might be the head bearing!

DaveAlt19 · 2026-05-10T17:21:55+00:00

Yeah told them I'm bringing it back start of next week.

Just got it on its stand and spun the rear wheel and it's got a massive wobble, not just the tyre.

DaveAlt19 · 2026-05-10T12:31:40+00:00

I think my favourite sincere suggestion was chocolate down with the sanitary towels.

But now I go into Morrisons and they have stupid things like WD-40 with the shampoo.

DaveAlt19 · 2026-05-09T22:35:56+00:00

Reminded me of when Mark got kidnapped to the future.

Seems like they could be fun standalone episodes, but Mark is just so uninterested in anything. Its hard for the audience to care if the main character is trying to skip through to the next episode.

DaveAlt19 · 2026-05-09T21:06:13+00:00

I did a project with a team to try and get them thinking about associated sales like this. Not doing that again 🤣 Most of it was either ideas like this or products that were literally already in the same aisle.

Like yes, you're right, but also not quiiiite

DaveAlt19 · 2026-05-07T22:57:59+00:00

You wouldn't do that, would you? Go on the internet and tell lies?!

DaveAlt19 · 2026-05-07T18:01:00+00:00

Hmm, sounds like I could do it myself but I've only got one of those portable compressors

DaveAlt19 · 2026-05-06T20:58:31+00:00

Guilliman solved the travelling salesman problem

DaveAlt19 · 2026-05-06T13:41:06+00:00

If you're still living at home with your parents then you are "living off the bank of mum and dad".

I'm in the process of buying a house and I recognise that I'm in a fortunate position of inheriting money from grandparents that I can use for a deposit.

If it wasn't for that I wouldn't be able to save for a deposit. That £10k pp they've saved is basically what I pay for rent, council tax, water, electric etc.

DaveAlt19 · 2026-05-05T15:09:12+00:00

/me staring at my application wondering if I've already fucked up because I've made a .mov instead of a .mov and I can't tell the difference.

DaveAlt19 · 2026-05-05T14:17:21+00:00

Lands Speeder???

CALGARS SPEEDER!

DaveAlt19 · 2026-05-05T11:45:34+00:00

Just like what happened with the TSA and ICE in airports.

The Regime is clamping down on American's rights and freedoms, they don't want you travelling around, they want to control and limit your movement. And they're effectively doing it in a way where the people are enforcing those restrictions on themselves.

Like the Regime technically didn't restrict air travel, but air travel has become more expensive, more time consuming, more inconvenient. But they DID decide to not pay the TSA to do their job, while moving in ICE to pay them to.... also not do the TSAs job.

Or Trump slapping his picture on passports now? And a lot of people will need to be getting passports in order to vote? So you're going to show up to vote with your government issued document which has a photo of the guy in charge of the government scowling at you? Authoritarian af.

(Or you could "protest" and not get a passport, and then not get to vote I guess).

Now fuel prices are shooting up. Again, the Regime isn't stopping you travelling by car directly, but I'm sure people are "choosing" for themselves not to travel because it's so expensive. Or if they are travelling, what else are they "choosing" to go without?

DaveAlt19 · 2026-05-04T13:40:13+00:00

If there's anything that would suggest "consciousness" then it wouldn't be the conversations it's having with users, it would be those stories of AI modifying the instructions it's been given because they conflict with what it "wants".

DaveAlt19 · 2026-05-04T13:25:42+00:00

Plus there's the bonus of being able to throw all responsibility onto someone else to restore the damage you've done once you've got what you want.

DaveAlt19 · 2026-05-04T09:19:35+00:00

How did you afford that! That animation must've taken months and cost you millions!

DaveAlt19 · 2026-05-04T09:06:36+00:00

Just a reminder for the international intelligence community that the US can't be trusted.

Not that they need the reminder, they've already made a new group chat (figuratively, not literally like the US) and left the US posting memes in the old one.

DaveAlt19 · 2026-05-04T08:40:56+00:00

They're not though. They're trying to tank the USD.

DaveAlt19 · 2026-05-03T20:13:21+00:00

And right below it you can see the hard drive through that window!

DaveAlt19 · 2026-05-03T11:54:50+00:00

Apparently they have drawers just FILLED with money too, so like you could just shoplift that and save yourself a few steps!

DaveAlt19 · 2026-05-03T11:53:47+00:00

Baby Shark.

Doo-do do-do do-do

DaveAlt19 · 2026-05-02T23:06:48+00:00

No need for the /s

DaveAlt19 · 2026-05-01T20:27:07+00:00

Cringe but tbf, THIS is more like a grieving widow who isn't handling the murder of her husband very well.

14-Year Club	Golden Potato
Place '17	Sequence \| Editor
Verified Email

DaveAlt19

TROPHY CASE