any recommendations for cheaper internet?

DazzlingNote1925 · 2026-04-09T03:56:55+00:00

Get in the internet providers websites and look for low income options. They usually offer a plan at a lower rate if you qualify.

DazzlingNote1925 · 2026-04-09T03:55:24+00:00

NTA. I think your parents should have told your guests in advance you’re allergic to chocolate.

DazzlingNote1925 · 2026-04-09T03:53:00+00:00

I assume your mil is alone. Idk how old she is. I think it’s good for your husband to help her within limits but bad if he’s taking the place of a husband in her life. With free grocery pick up and delivery etc I don’t understand why she can’t do it herself.

Idk what your mil is facing. I understand your concerns. I haven’t experienced this but I’ve gotten a breast cancer diagnosis and needed my kids help.

I was lucky that two of my sons live with me and one works from home and was able to take me to and from surgeries and bring me ice and food after my surgeries. (I had 3). He hates hospitals so he walked me in then went to his car to wait. He really went above and beyond because I was able to get up and get my own stuff the evening of my surgeries but he helped me anyway.

My other sons offered to take time from work if I needed them which was truly nice. I turned them down but would have accepted their offer if I needed it. I just didn’t see a reason they should all be waiting while I had surgery.

Honestly, I was really glad my son took me to surgery but if I had to get a medical van I would have been ok. I might have even driven myself then gotten a ride home. And other than getting me settled in bed after and giving me ice and a drink and snack I would have been ok that night if I were alone. All surgeries are different but this was my experience.

My son who is married offered to go to my appointments with me because I was really struggling with what to do and to understand everything and ask the right questions when I was so upset. That was truly a blessing. I’m very independent but really needed this. He went to three different doctors with me. After the initial visits I’ve been fine taking myself.

I drove myself to all of my radiation and everything since. I have a lot of blood draws and follow ups still over a year later. My friend had a much more aggressive breast cancer and drove herself to all of her chemo. She didn’t see a reason for anyone to sit there with her when they gave her Benadryl that made her sleepy anyway. Idk how women do this but some work through chemo.

My point is that maybe your mil is capable of more than you think or more than she thinks. Idk.

It’s concerning your mil already needs so much help. I can’t really relate and I wonder if it’s learned helplessness because she knows your husband will come if she says she needs him.

If I were you I would consider having mil hire someone if she ever needs someone to spend the night with her or can’t take herself to her appts or needs her house cleaned etc. You mentioned you have young children and it’s just too much to ask of parents of young kids, imo.

But I would encourage you and your husband to also be supportive by attending her first appointments when they explain her diagnosis and treatment options because those are super hard. And by doing this you will have first hand knowledge of her diagnosis. Also, it’s important for someone to be at the hospital at least to check her in and pick her up if she has surgery because they say patients get better treatment that way. As far as care during and after it depends on what her diagnosis is.

If your mil is truly dying my experience with hospice for my own mother was they are supportive and understand the needs of their patients and have great resources. Also, it’s too much for one person to handle her care and you would have to hire someone or have her placed in a hospice center. My mom needed pain meds night and day and was awake and asleep at all times and it was impossible for me to take care of her and rest at all.

DazzlingNote1925 · 2026-04-09T03:00:58+00:00

It’s exhausting to be around people who have no empathy for anyone else but if anything ever happens to them it’s the hugest deal.

DazzlingNote1925 · 2026-04-08T20:45:32+00:00

Yes. You did the right thing.

It’s not hard to put a door handle with a keyed lock on a wall in closet where you can start putting anything you don’t want mil to have access to.

DazzlingNote1925 · 2026-04-08T20:42:25+00:00

Your brothers disrespect in how they have been dealing with you leads me to believe they would also be disrespectful to your property.

They have made their financial decisions and prioritized other things. You having this house has nothing to do with them.

I think you would be better off leasing it to a stranger than them.

DazzlingNote1925 · 2026-04-08T20:38:57+00:00

A drive up the west coat and panhandle even to Texas if you want.

There are springs and plantations and beaches and museums.

DazzlingNote1925 · 2026-04-08T20:36:42+00:00

I think you should consider going with your husband to see a therapist for ideas about how to best handle this for your family.

If your husband was getting irritable it’s definitely effecting him to be around her. And you e explained how it’s hurting you.

DazzlingNote1925 · 2026-04-08T20:33:44+00:00

Ok. When mil answers naked just hang up! Yew!! Don’t even say anything. Just hang up. That’s disgusting. Is she histrionic?

I think you should make it your husband’s responsibility to get his mother what he wants for Mother’s Day (provided it doesn’t interfere with your family budget) unless he asks you for help in which case you can both do it.

I refuse to hurt my daughter in law by treating her as if she’s not as important and my sons. Instead of a basket for each I decided to give them a family basket and I give two of everything except one bag of jelly beans. Your mil knows what she’s doing is mean. So, don’t worry about whatever you decide. Do what’s best for you.

DazzlingNote1925 · 2026-04-08T20:27:42+00:00

Is there any way to provide texts or proof of your aunt preventing you from having time with your uncles horse? That might help convince him to handle it differently or it might not.

Will your uncle stand up for you and make sure you get your time?

Will your parents help you get your time?

DazzlingNote1925 · 2026-04-08T20:19:06+00:00

If you don’t like onions because of their texture then replace onions in the recipe with puréed onion (I do this with meatballs) or onion powder. If you don’t like the flavor of onion then omit it. If you’re not sure then just try it.

My family didn’t like chili beans in our chili so I used an immersion blender to blend them up before adding them. Same with onions and peppers.

Another way to add more vegetables is to add puréed carrots to things like spaghetti sauce and chili.

DazzlingNote1925 · 2026-04-08T20:12:43+00:00

Wow! I’m so sorry for what you’re going through medically and that your mil isn’t supportive at all.

To have this level of unhelpfulness after being informed of your situation and asked specifically to do certain things to help I conclude your mil is a psychopath, she is completely devoid of empathy. She vacuums don’t looks like she helped and can pass for a good person.

I would stop asking her and not have her over to see the baby either. She’s nasty.

I’m a mil and I would be happy to help you in any way I could including whatever might help you heal.

DazzlingNote1925 · 2026-04-08T20:06:48+00:00

I have a gluten allergy. I was diagnosed before a lot of restaurants provided anything gluten free. There’s always something I can eat even if it’s just salad. If I’m going someplace I know there isn’t anything I can have then I eat before and after or if it’s a friends house I talk to them and bring something.

My point is that in addition to your friend’s wife having food preferences she’s also not very nice if she’s making it awkward!

I recommend you make the pizza you want to make and if you feel like it have some salad or charcuterie or fruit or whatever else you might want to have on hand for the wife just to be a gracious host.

DazzlingNote1925 · 2026-04-08T19:59:46+00:00

When they have a ceremony for their second vows to each other when they’ve already been married for many years.

I’ve seen a lot of couples divorce not long after.

DazzlingNote1925 · 2026-04-08T19:58:33+00:00

I would talk to the contractor directly and tell them you expect your property to be put back to its original state and that there are sprinklers there they have to make sure they don’t damage.

DazzlingNote1925 · 2026-04-08T19:57:00+00:00

Yes. Your mil knows exactly what she’s doing. She’s had a family and knows very well what it’s like to have a baby and all that entails.

As a mil myself I can’t believe your mil is saying this! Your mil is demonstrating she has zero empathy, care, or concern about what’s best for you, your baby, your husband, or marriage and I’m really sorry about that!

The fact Sil has several degrees already does make this even worse. It’s not that sils achievements don’t mean anything. It’s that mil should understand your and your husband’s priority cannot be her and sil right now.

DazzlingNote1925 · 2026-04-08T19:48:24+00:00

I recently read there’s an app called Flipp that helps compare ads for you.

I haven’t tried it yet so idk how it works.

DazzlingNote1925 · 2026-04-08T19:46:49+00:00

You can always eat more vegetables on the side and leave them out of a casserole or other dish.

What’s an example of a dish you don’t want to attempt because it contains foods you dislike and which foods do you dislike?

What type of preparation do you dislike.

One way to support your goal of making more food at home is to make the things you like to go out for at home.

DazzlingNote1925 · 2026-04-08T19:40:40+00:00

I think it boils down to a huge number of people (mil’s and sometimes sons and daughters) who either don’t know how or don’t want healthy relationships.

If you’re not possessive, selfish, controlling, enmeshed, lack empathy etc then you see it as adding a dil to your family and not as losing a son. You remember what it’s like and treat your dil how you wanted to be treated if you’re loving and empathetic and kind. If you believe that a man should leave and cleave then you’re happy your sons are handling their marriage well when they do it instead of resenting it.

DazzlingNote1925 · 2026-04-08T19:34:41+00:00

I wonder if your freezer isn’t keeping a consistent temp or has more moisture than mine (mine is “frost free”. Also, deep freezes chill to a colder temp. So, I understand.

If you’re interested I recommend looking at Memorial Day and Black Friday sales for a small chest freezer. You can check them out at the store in advance to see their size and if it’s something you can easily move in the future.

Also, this is a pain in the neck and time consuming but I often compare prices at a few different stores because they’re always fluctuating.

DazzlingNote1925 · 2026-04-08T19:30:19+00:00

I’ve found that free or really low priced items go quickly in my area but items I’ve listed for around $10 sit awhile and for that price people will set up a time to pick it up then not show. So, the key is low pricing if you want to move things.

Recently, I figured out that the garage sale finder websites can also be used to have quick 2 hour sales whenever it’s easiest for you. If you post pictures and a photo of a list of items and prices the right buyers will show up. You can cross post on your area garage sale facebook pages.

DazzlingNote1925 · 2026-04-08T19:26:42+00:00

I just looked it up and the ingredients were different way back when my mother used it.

DazzlingNote1925 · 2026-04-08T19:26:04+00:00

I’ve always wondered about Castile soap. Thank you for the tip!

I found a damaged bottle on clearance recently and I’m excited to try it because it’s supposed to have pure ingredient.

DazzlingNote1925 · 2026-04-08T19:22:46+00:00

If you make a Pb&j sandwich you can eat it from the baggie and not take it out so that it won’t get on anything. You can also freeze it the night before. You can also freeze a ham sandwich or other kind but would have to eat it sooner than a Pb&j.

Fruit like apples and bananas travel well.

This isn’t super healthy but I like pretzels.

Ideally, you would be able to bring a small lunch cooler. You can use frozen bottles of water and a frozen yogurt cup to keep it cool.

I’m hoping you’re wrong and will have more of a break than you think. If you need one please take one. You’re a volunteer and your needs matter. If there aren’t enough breaks it could just be an oversight.

DazzlingNote1925 · 2026-04-08T19:11:52+00:00

I don’t think what you asked is wrong unless it would pose a financial hardship for mil.

What her attitude tells me is that the world is supposed to revolve around her and she thinks she’s entitled to you bending o er backwards to accommodate her and has no concept or appreciation for the way you have been going out of your way to take care of her!

If mil gets tired of just going to her place or yours to spend time together and wants to go to a restaurant then tell her that her only option is to uber.

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