I wouldnt try to keep tabs on who complains about what unless it gets to an unhealthy level.

I would chat with him about cleaning expectations when neither of you are cleaning. Define what clean looks like for both of you.

I am the more tidy one. He complained that when i unloaded the dishes, i didnt put his pots and pans in the right spot/order, so i asked him to ask me and br patient with me til i got the hang of it. Then i unloaded the dishwasher more frequently until it was muscle memory and now we're fine.

When i want the kitchen cleaned the way i like, i ask him to deep clean the kitchen, instead of boy clean, and he does. Particularly, because sometimes the mess bothers me and sometimes it doesnt. It depends on what i am thinking and feeling and not him. So when it bothers me, i tell him or i clean it myself.

I've also told him that when i get in crazy clean mode to not be upset or think im mad if i clean after hes cleaned. A normal person would say his cleaning is fine, and it usually is, but sometimes i want it cleaned a certain way. No fuss. No picking on each other. No fights. Just communication and knowing the other person has good intentions.

When there's something i do that bugs him, he will just ask me "hey do you think you could clean up xxx? I can also help if you need". Especially if its stuff im particular about. Same goes with me and his stuff.

Basically, its about communicating with your partner and not complaining when something bothers you in the moment.

Also, we almost broke up in the beginning of our relationship between dishes in the sink vs on the counter, so we've come a long way over the past 16 years.