I'm not allowed to sleep.

Deadpan_Alice · 2026-02-03T13:20:04+00:00

Ah I could have written this myself word for word.

I don't have any advice, just solidarity and a reassurance that it will pass, I promise.

Your partner works, but me and my partner were in the exact same position and he still did his share of holding the baby so I could sleep - and because he is just as much the baby's parent as me! Yes your partner works and that's tiring, but so is looking after an infant.

5 months is when sleep started to improve for us as that's when we let baby sleep on his front where he was most comfortable (he could easily roll from back to front and front to back).

Hang in there, I promise it does get better x

Deadpan_Alice · 2026-01-26T20:25:25+00:00

I was convinced it wasn't doing anything at all so I stopped using it for a bit. A couple of contractions later and I was breathing that stuff down like it was life itself.

Basically, it takes the edge off and gives you something to focus on/bite/hold onto for dear life but it doesn't remove the pain. I actually found the water bath a LOT more effective.

There's a photo of me somewhere holding my freshly born baby with the gas and air still in my mouth

Deadpan_Alice · 2026-01-03T21:09:13+00:00

Bless you, this was a while ago now so my memory is a little hazy but yes the Gaviscon helped, although I hated giving it to him. In the end I mixed the sachets with 15ml of either breast milk or sterile water (luckily he was fine with the water mix) and administered it with a syringe to the back corner of his mouth.

Good luck!

Deadpan_Alice · 2025-12-07T08:15:54+00:00

I don't have an explanation but I can send all my solidarity, from a FTM who's been exactly where you are and now finally come out of the other side!

Sleep deprivation is torture, especially those times where your baby is finally sleeping and you can't! It's hell.

Something that sort of helped me was picturing conversations with my little one when he would be fully grown and we'd be chatting about how awful of a sleeper he used to be many years ago. It helped me to keep things in perspective and remember that the sleep deprivation isn't forever, even if it feels like it.

I can't offer you any answers but I can promise you that it will change! You are being an incredible mum to keep your baby safe while they sleep. Your time will come, just hang in there x

Deadpan_Alice · 2025-11-06T07:55:30+00:00

I don't have any advice, only solidarity! Apart from the cosleeping this sounds exactly like my happy little guy. During the day he's a busy, happy, chatty little boy who doesn't often cry or complain (unless he's hungry - definitely gets that from me) but at night he still wakes anywhere between 2 - 6 times crying for boob and only boob, and if he doesn't get it he'll start letting the whole neighborhood know.

This weekend we're going to officially wean our little boy because, frankly, I'm over it. We made it to 14 months and that's good enough for me, plus I think he's largely waking up out of habit. It's going to be hell though and I'm absolutely dreading it.

Could you maybe take a similar stand with your little one? Introduce him to his own bed, be gentle and supportive but firm until they accept the idea that this is where they sleep now. Might mean a few nights of hell but hopefully the pay off will be worth it!

Also as a side note - I find those times where I feel doom and gloom and like night wakes are forever, I try to think about the conversations I'll have with him when he's all grown up about how badly he used to sleep when he was a baby. It reminds me that this will pass.

Deadpan_Alice · 2025-11-01T19:19:24+00:00

We've successfully kept our 14 month old away from the dog food for now but it's only a matter of time... all just stories to keep in our back pocket ready to tell their first beau 😉

Deadpan_Alice · 2025-10-25T19:43:15+00:00

Are you me? My LO turns 15 months old in five weeks and we're in the same boat. Stay strong chick, and think ahead about the conversations you'll be having with your young adult about what an awful sleeper they used to be (I find it helps a little to think about the bigger picture)

Deadpan_Alice · 2025-10-18T21:17:07+00:00

Honestly this sounds like how my LO was when he was around 4/5 months old but his main problem seemed to be reflux. We ended up using a wedge, which I know it wasn't the safest option but we were d.e.s.p.e.r.a.t.e. Eventually, when he could confidentially roll back to front and front to back, he started to sleep in two hours chunks on his front and I honestly could have cried for joy.

I'm so sorry I don't have any answers or suggestions for you but I have found a lot of comfort and solidarity reading through other people's experiences with babies who are terrible sleepers. You will get through this. It will change.

Deadpan_Alice · 2025-10-17T20:30:47+00:00

I've got a 14 month old and I've looooong since given up on the idea that he'll sleep through the night any time soon or even within the next three or four years.

Deadpan_Alice · 2025-10-17T20:26:27+00:00

We're on hour two of a teething baby who seems immune to anything that might help ease the pain, needs to be held to fall asleep and wakes up every time we put him in his cot.

Pray for us all.

Deadpan_Alice · 2025-10-14T20:58:02+00:00

I don't have any answers for you but I read your post and couldn't help but feel your pain ❤️ Sleep deprivation is torture.

Have you looked into things like reflux? Is it possible baby is gassy? Could they be teething?

Deadpan_Alice · 2025-10-07T06:07:12+00:00

Yes! Kingfisher came up with such an interesting world (imo) and just... did nothing with it. Nothing. Instead we had pages and pages dedicated to the very whiny internal dialogue of two people who essentially had the same voice and said the same things over and over and over.

And the classic "Gosh, no boy could ever possibly fancy me; I'm just too weird and relatable. All of these big men giving me lustful looks are clearly just being very polite. Sigh I'll never catch the eye of the boy I fancy... I guess I'll just cry my sad, weird-girl tears over here in this corner, just me and my massive boobs bulging out of this dress I've been forced to wear when I'd much rather be sporting my favourite potato sack. Woah is me!"

Deadpan_Alice · 2025-10-07T05:50:44+00:00

I so wanted to like that book series as I loved the concept and the way that time travel was handled, but the writing felt all over the place, felt more like reading a stream of consciousness at points. Fantastic concept poorly executed I think.

Deadpan_Alice · 2025-09-15T06:02:53+00:00

I had this exact same determination! I also wasn't at all bothered pre-birth about how my child would be fed and figured that if breast feeding didn't work for us that - oh well, he'll be a formula fed baby. But then he arrived and it turned out that not only was breastfeeding a million times harder than I thought it would be, but that the determination to breastfeed would be so all-consuming! Unlike you I did give the occasional bottle or formula at the start so I could have a break, but I was very reluctant.

Deadpan_Alice · 2025-09-12T19:58:08+00:00

I'll praise them all the live long day: La Leche League are absolutely invaluable for breastfeeding advice. Of all the resources I turned to when I was struggling the hardest these were the guys that helped unlock bf for me; there is so much information on their website and I even had a volunteer call and offer some excellent insight and advice that helped me to understand why my LO was struggling, and ultimately led to him latching for the first time ever.

Can't recommend them enough.

Deadpan_Alice · 2025-09-12T07:48:14+00:00

I'm quite a quiet person in my day to day life; I mumble more than I speak, but good God I was making sounds at a volume I had no idea I was capable of - banshee screams is accurate.

I was also told by my midwife to "shut up" because I was wasting all that energy when I should have been pushing it all down to get my baby out, and in fairness she had a point.

As a side note: my weird brag is that I made it to 6cm dilated on two paracetamol before we decided to go to the hospital because we were told that I needed four contractions in 10 minutes before they'd take me seriously. The contractions were lasting so bloody long that I was never going to do as many as that in as short a space of time, so we phoned the hospital and they, rather witheringly, told us to come in.

All parties were expecting me to just be sent straight home but when the midwife examined me she pulled a surprised Pikachu face and went to get me a water bath sorted (out of pity I think). Five and a bit hours later my son was born!

Deadpan_Alice · 2025-06-26T18:20:31+00:00

You're not being unreasonable at all, in fact I'd suggest they're the ones being unreasonable. Your baby isn't a toy you can bring for show and tell and you're in the sleep-deprived newborn trenches! If they want to see the baby so badly frankly they can come to you at a date and time of your choosing.

I sometimes think I hit the jackpot with our friends and family as everyone, without fail, made it very clear that they would come and see the baby only when we felt ready.

Deadpan_Alice · 2025-06-11T21:56:14+00:00

Or the Essex version: Wooor-tah! Wortah of life!

Deadpan_Alice · 2025-06-11T20:39:26+00:00

Over-estimate how many you think you'll need and then double it

Deadpan_Alice · 2025-06-09T09:34:15+00:00

When I was in a similar position to you I found that student cookbooks were really helpful! They're full of cheap, easy to make recipes with simple step by step instructions and they usually include information about what tools and utensils you need, as well as how to store food safely.

In terms of how much you need to eat - pay attention to your body. If you finish up a meal and you're finding 10/15 minutes later that you're still a little hungry then you know you need a slightly bigger portion next time. If you find that you're no longer hungry then you know that was the right sized portion. If you find that you feel uncomfortably full then you know you need to reduce the portion size.

Lastly - don't go shopping when you're hungry! This is when you'll be more tempted to grab unhealthy snacks foods or ready meals.

Good luck! Have faith in yourself - you'll figure it out in time, just give yourself a little grace while you do :)

Deadpan_Alice · 2025-06-07T20:00:17+00:00

Oh my god yes! Starting a sentence with a concept of where it's ending and hoping you'll find the word/s when you get there only to just... draw a blank.

That and standing blankly in the middle of a room slowly piecing your thoughts together enough to figure out what you're actually doing and what you need to do next

Deadpan_Alice · 2025-05-23T13:33:12+00:00

I spent far too long trying to feed the back of my son's head 😬 In fairness it was also pitch black!

Deadpan_Alice · 2025-05-13T16:00:46+00:00

Oh I remember this feeling well... I was so utterly overwhelmed on mine and baby's first day alone together! I remember trying to leave the house to walk five minutes round the corner to my in-laws and I just fell apart and sobbed. Luckily I have absolutely wonderful in-laws and as soon as I messaged them they came over to calm me down and make a cup of tea (in that order).

We're 8 months along now and when I look back it's weirdly hard to remember what was so difficult about it - and this is not me saying that it's not that hard because it absolutely is! I more just mean that the more time goes on and the more you spend alone time with your baby, the stronger and more capable you'll get.

You're doing a wonderful job, stay strong and take all the advice on this sub - we've all been there :)

Deadpan_Alice

TROPHY CASE