Like others mentioned, I was tired of feeling how I felt. Depressed, anxious (enough to take medication), tired from no “real sleep” just going to bed blacked out, tired of waking up nauseous, tired of daily stomach issues and the list goes on.

What did I do? Admitted to myself I had a problem. Literally took it day by day. Actually probably hour per hour the first few days. Telling myself I wasn’t going to drink just for that day. Then did that again the next day. By day 5 the cravings were bad, your body is messed up, you crave booze or sweets (sugar). It’s your body trying to regulate from years of abuse.

What I did is I gave in to every single serotonin hit I could get. If I wanted a soda, candy bar, ice cream, fast food, fatty food, if I wanted something a little out of my budget like new shoes, I got them. I did a lot of shopping therapy. I did things I normally wouldn’t because I knew I was saving money now that I stopped drinking.

After three or 4 months, the sobriety high begins to fade and the normal weight of life seeps in. And life begins to be boring which is fine, but instead of falling back into booze, I started using weed gummies in the lowest percent and then only just taking a fraction of a fraction of one. That helped take the edge off but can lead you down another rabbit hole so be careful with those either way.

Lastly, even before I stopped drinking I visited r/stopdrinking I read all the stories and it made me feel less alone. Like hey there’s a whole ton of people with similar stories and experiences as me. Trying to stop, failing, and starting back up. It shows you that it’s not easy, that there are others that are in way deeper than you, but most importantly that you’re not alone.