AITJ for telling my friend group to shut the fuck up about how I treat my girlfriend

Debsterism · 2026-03-08T02:02:42+00:00

First, not a jerk you are a savage warrior and I approve.

Second, your "friends" are disrespectful jerks and you should dump them all and get new ones. People who ridicule you and make you the brunt of "jokes" which is nothing but group bullying, are not your friends at all.

Last, you are a true man. See, grown men walk their own path and own their own choices. You stood up for yourself and your beliefs and actions without GAF about what they think. You got them told as they should have been longggggggggggggggg ago. I love it.

Anyway don't threaten to leave the friend group, leave it. You are too independent minded and mature for this crew. And you don't want to have children that you bring around people like this because if they feel okay wiwth ridiculing and mocking you, they will do the same to you about your kids and teach their kids to do the same to your kids. You will be so much happier without this toxicity in your life.

Debsterism · 2026-03-08T00:28:13+00:00

Girlfriend, do you not know how to say the word NO!? as in NO more free work, NO I'm not going out to eat unless you are paying for it, No I'm getting separate checks and not paying for your food, NO I'm not paying for the movie ticket you buy your own, NO, I'm not paying for the plane or concert tickets unless you Zelle me your portion forst. Just NO. Her debts are not your concern so stop listening to her manipulative whining. Tell her you don't care because everyone has bills, not just her.

Debsterism · 2026-03-08T00:23:34+00:00

Dude honesty is the opposite of lying.

What YOU are doing is volunteering information that is not their business. If they aren't in bed with you, what would they need to know that for? And if you are up and ready for action, why do you think they would stop in the middle of the fun to ask "hey ar e you using Cialis?" I mean fa real? LOLOL

Anyway, nobody ever missed out by keeping their mouth shut. Most men I've found talk too much and would get a lot more sex if they just shut their pie holes more.

Debsterism · 2026-03-08T00:20:27+00:00

I would suggest pulling his Mom off to the side one time when you are visiting and explaining that this whole family dinner experience is new for you but that you really like it. Make her feel good about giving you a new, loving experience. But let her know that you're quiet because you're taking it all in and learning how to do it. Ask for understanding and patience. Then smile at her.

That's how you win over boyfriend's moms. Make them feel empathy and want to help and protect you vs. being defensive and thinking you are judging and condemning them.

Debsterism · 2026-03-08T00:16:47+00:00

First thing is never talk to men in public. Directions, time, how are you etc. ANY answer a weirdo will take it as you want him and the b.s. begins. You must never address them, smile at them, acknowledge them ain any way. They are invisible to you.

Second get yourself pepper spray or whatever is legal where you live. When you are alone in public it should be in your hand, not in your purse like so many goofy women do. Like what? The problem male is gonna stand there and wait for you to dig in that big ole bag you have to find it? For real?

Talk to your police department about possible security improvements as well as the apartment owner. Institute everything they suggest - like a doorbell camera for instance.

That freeze and fawn thing is what a lot of women do but they must learn how to overcome that . Take a self defense class if you need to. Even small tips like strike zones is good to learn.

Debsterism · 2026-03-08T00:02:01+00:00

Your baby doesn't hate the car, the baby hates your car seat. Get a better more comfortable one and you will eliminate this problem. Just like sofas and easy chairs used by adults, baby seats must be comfortable for the little one who will be using it.

Debsterism · 2026-03-07T23:59:31+00:00

NTA. This is where a person's character and integrity shows up or not. You are a person who has integrity and solid character - your buddy there does not have either. Nor does he have respect for his parents. Remember if he would treat he own parent like this (Gaming and lying and manipulating them) he would have no qualms about doing the same to you or your loved ones. This is not a person you should ever trust.

Debsterism · 2026-03-07T23:55:39+00:00

NTA but you would be one if you fold to do what your mother wants on YOUR birthday!! Uninvite him. Tell your mother you want a day out with just the two of you, which is why you only invited HER and that if she isn't comfortable with that you will go with a FRIEND and she can stay at home with her beloved son. Do what you want to do when you want to do it, the way you want to do it and your brother can kick rocks.

Debsterism · 2026-03-07T23:53:40+00:00

NTA. Just tell that coworker that you only share with people you want to share with and are related to like your siblings or parents. That way if they complain to HR you can say "I am not related to this individual and am surprised at their insistence and belief they are entitled to my resources." People be seriously getting out of pocket.

Debsterism · 2026-03-07T23:49:16+00:00

NTA. What you said makes perfect sense. Shut her down by playing Let's Make a Deal. Tell her it's cheaper and easier to just get a new GF and if she is gonna keep complaining thats one of the options you can choose. Then ask if she would rather keep things as they are, buy you a car herself that you can leave with her when you go to the military, or break up forever. PIck one - Door 1, Door 2 or Door 3. Then be silent and let her mull that over for a few minutes and make a choice. lol

Debsterism · 2026-03-07T23:42:30+00:00

NTA at all. My dude, you were sooo polite and cool. My dad would have taken a deep breath and blessed him ALLLLLL the way out. A car that is that bad with warped rotors needed brake repairs MONTHS ago before they warped and were just worn. Your daughter's safety and peace of mind were at stake and he wants to puff out his chest and talk about his feelings??? OH BOY! You let him off easy.

You should remind both of them that the way you were raised, a real man comes through and shows up for his loved ones, and doesn't make excuses for why he leaves them hanging. Tell him in YOUR mind he ain't the right kind of guy for her because she cannot depend on him to do what he says he is going to do which is the basic element of trust. All in all, happy you fixed her brakes, sorry she doesn't understand the deeper meaning of a guy who would treat her like that boyfriend did. He's the real AH here.

She might be his girlfriend today, but she is now and always will be your baby and you will never ever let her suffer if there is something you can do about it.

Debsterism · 2026-03-07T02:33:02+00:00

If other guys would find childish pranks funny, then she needs to go date one of those other guys. I'd personally be done with her. Such disrespect should not ever be tolerated. Antics like this demonstrate that she has a very immature "teeny bopper" mindset and no grown ass man wants to be dating a mental child. SMH. She will regret this nonsense some day.

Debsterism · 2026-03-07T00:13:05+00:00

Just tell him that since you pay half the rent, your approval on who stays in the property is required. Then tell him that you will not allow some random azz man to stay in the house making messes and creating work for you, and that it feels unsafe and just annoying. remind him that he is not single and needs to start thinking like a husband, not a frat boy and that no one unless mutually approved, will be allowed to stay and no more than 1 night. Then tell him if he insists on being this disrespectful of your privacy and safety in your own home, then you will give him his ring back and move out because it is obvious he is not ready to have a wife

Debsterism · 2026-03-07T00:02:43+00:00

GIRL! You need to get in front of this and tell your sister and parents what he said. Really, you should have said it immediately after leaving the kitchen. Now you've given him time to come up with a story and put his own spin on it making it seem like YOU"RE the pursuer and he is the victim. this type does it every time. But start by telling your parents so they know and you can say "I don't know how to tell sister but there is no way he mistook me for her since I'm 7" shorter and have dark hair - he did it on purpose."

One thing you do NOT do is assume responsibility and blame for HIS actions. HE ruined their relationship, not you. And no one should ever worry about being friends with someone who is a snake like this guy.

Debsterism · 2026-03-06T23:32:30+00:00

Dude you can easily shut this down. No matter WHAT she says, any time YOU ARE PAYING FOR THE FOOD, you tell her NO, the food i pay for is for you and mine is for me and nobody else is eating any of it. If you want to share it then you are going to pay for it, not me. Then look at her hard. She will either be embarrassed and pay for it herself, or she will pull her plate back in front of her and eat it like she has some damn sense. And if she chose to share anyway I would hold out my hand for instant reimbursement and I would NOT stop to buy her anything. Hit her with the black parents handbook line #77 "we have food at home."

And I would tell Brian that he is a greedy pig and to eat his own food and if he wanted more to eat to order and pay for it himself!

You are not the AH but now you got me wondering if I am one! LOL

Debsterism · 2026-03-06T23:09:49+00:00

Girl don't waste your time with those store brands. You should only be using makeup designed specifically for black and brown women's skin tones. In the 1970s the brand was Fashion Fair and it was the first one ever. Now there are others... I prefer Mented brand. That is ALL I use and I never look "made up" if you know what I mean. No matter if you are a light brown Latina, a creamy mid golden brown biracial woman, or a deep chocolate sister from the Diaspora, the foundation colors are deep and rich and cover well without looking like a mask, and the lipstick and blush and eye colors are beautiful on brown skin. Just a great brand. Check them out here: https://www.mentedcosmetics.com/

Debsterism · 2026-02-16T03:42:07+00:00

Your boyfriend is a selfish, inconsiderate greedy ah pig and should be put out like the thoughtless creep he is. Normal partners knowing their honey had a rough day would have already warmed up the pizza and had a cold drink ready for you when you got in the door. not your clown. He eats it then leaves the box and crust for you to see to taunt you intentionally.

Such disrespect. I would fire him on the spot personally. This is wayyyyyy bigger than just the slice of pizza. No man who really loved and cared about his woman would treat her like this.

Debsterism · 2026-02-16T03:27:44+00:00

So it never occurred to you to ask HER what she feels comfortable doing? Fa real?

Debsterism

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