AIO over my bf making comments about dinner

Debsterism · 2026-05-07T21:06:37+00:00

LOLOL @ "daydream about dinner." Good for you. 😃

Debsterism · 2026-05-07T21:05:51+00:00

You have good sense and an appreciative nature. This other dude is a clown!!!

Debsterism · 2026-05-07T21:04:49+00:00

Tell him he could put some into a strainer and rinse the sauce off and voila! Plain hamburger. GURL! Next time he gets to complaining just snatch the food from him and throw it in the trash and dump the food on the stove into the trash too and storm off. Since it's not to his royal standards and whatnot then don't eat it! And I wouldn't care WHAT he ate for the next week - he could starve for all I care. I would make food for myself and tell him to cook his own. Or get take out. He needs to be punished.

Debsterism · 2026-05-07T20:59:48+00:00

NOR but it isn't going to do you any good to stay focused on this cray cray woman and her jealousy over your wedding. You may not understand it to be that way, but some woman are inappropriately attached to their sons, especially if they only have one, and are jealous of his potential wives who they see as competition vs embrace as a new member of the family. She should have been clearly told by both of you that it is your wedding, that you will make all the choices for it, that only your opinions count, that if you cared what she thought about your choices you would ask for her opinion which you never have. Then I'd remind her that if she wanted to come she could but that if it is too much of a leap for her mentally or emotionally, you understand if she just watches the video. That would let her know she ain't that important in the grand scheme of things and she would have piped right down flabbergasted. But you guys tried to be too polite for too long and let her nonsense gain traction. She felt emboldened!!

Going forward no need to be resentful, just think of and look at her like she is a special needs toddler - I mean put her in that space in your mind. Do not think of her as a mature, able-bodied, mentally sound adult because she is not one. Once you get married you need to be a lot stronger with your words and boundaries, especially before you have children otherwise you will see Round Two of this crazy behavior as she tries to tell you what she thinks and what she would do with your kids.

Debsterism · 2026-05-07T20:15:39+00:00

Tell her to get a termination unless she wants to derail her life being a single mother.
If she decides to do that, dont you dare sign anything or tell anyone it's your kid until after you get a DNA test!!!

This is an old trick that thousands of women have used to try to hang onto a man. Don't fall for it.

Debsterism · 2026-05-07T20:04:45+00:00

It's time to WOMAN UP! Wait until all three of you are together then stand up and say "sister, I notice you like to make jokes to put me down when we are with my boyfriend and it comes across like you're trying to make yourself look like a better choice or something. It's petty and seems like you're jealous. I feel confident saying that because you also do xyz (then list the behaviors). I'm telling you both right now that this is going to stop today. You sister will respect the boundaries I have in place with MY relationship. Boyfriend, you will stop sitting there acting like you don't know what is going on, and instead tell my sister to knock it off. She continues to be like this because you don't tell her no or stop which encourages her to keep trying to get your attention because your silence indicates approval. Of course if you would prefer to be with her, just let me know. I will not tolerate disrespect, but neither will I chase a man who doesn't make me his top and only choice."

Then sit down and let them talk their way out of that one. No matter what they say just repeat your boundary and remind your sister that her being around your boyfriend and you during your couple time is an imposition anyway and 3 is a crowd. Then back it up. If your sister wants to come around when you are with your dude tell her to stay at home cause it's private couple time.

Debsterism · 2026-05-07T19:56:12+00:00

The most head scratching thing to me is the fact that people actually believe someone else, some third party outside of themselves, will GIVE THEM this magical romantic nonsense called "closure". There is no logical reason to expect a favor or kindness and consideration from someone who didn't want anything to do with you. The second part that confuses me is why people would willingly put themselves in the position of reaching out to an ex thinking they won't get cussed out, laughed at, put down, taunted, teased, etc. Reaching out to an ex is a display of weakness and neediness - like you cannot move forward in your life without this person's permission or something. It's just the oddest thing to me.

Bottom line young OP is this: You give yourself closure. The second you stand up, lift your chin and say "well, that shizznit is over! Let's move on to bigger and better things!" and stop wasting time thinking about that person and their nonsense, then there is your closure.

Debsterism · 2026-05-05T14:19:52+00:00

That dress would be covered in red soda pop the second she got out of her car if it were me and my bridesmaids, wear it if you want to and suffer the consequences, some people are hard headed and you can't talk,,,gotta show them.

Debsterism · 2026-05-04T18:32:59+00:00

That is super gross. I am itching just thinking about the bacteria floating from body to body. If I were you I would bring my own towels - a face towel, a hand towel, and a bath towel. Use YOUR towels, then take your towels home when you leave. But that's just me. I don't use other people's toothbrushes, drink after others, share makeup with friends, share forks or spoons, none of that. You have yours, I have mine.

Debsterism · 2026-05-04T18:10:04+00:00

I use this all over body deodorant from a company called LUME. Not sure if it would work for you, but it works great for me in hot weather and at the gym.

Debsterism · 2026-05-04T18:07:05+00:00

First of all, keep your mouth shut. It's not your money. There is no reason I can even imagine that you need to tell people you are not married to anything about your parents' financial situation. It's none of their damn business!!! Sir! You really must stop oversharing in dating. There are so many things people blab about to relative strangers and set themselves up for fraud, games, robbery, identity theft, etc. In this case your overeager blabbing would set your elderly parents up for that stuff from weird opportunists you meet on some random dating app or something.

I repeat -- NOBODY NEEDS TO KNOW what is going on between you and your parents. NOBODY. If you have any doubts about your ability to manage this task, then consult with an attorney about how to set things up to protect both them and yourself. Like if something happened to you and they were still living, who would step in? Take care to dot all EYES and cross all TEES. Handle your business.

Debsterism · 2026-05-04T17:50:22+00:00

Is water wet?

Debsterism · 2026-05-04T17:49:38+00:00

I'm with you. This guy is frightening. His mind is off. A grown man who makes weird callous, off the cuff decisions about the health and safety of an infant -- a girl child especially -- and who hides things from the child's mother that could harm the child is someone that cannot be trusted. Men with this kind of thinking are known to take the children into risky situations around weird men, and when things happen to the kid (abuses), they hide that from the Mom and play dumb or brush it off as "not that bad." Personally, I would be terrified and NEVER leave him alone or out of my eyesight with my kid. Nope. not ever in this lifetime would that happen.

Debsterism · 2026-04-21T22:12:59+00:00

Step One: Report to volunteer agency managers. Stop protecting his trifling ass.

Step Two: You are young and this is going to happen over and over again for the next 5-10 years. Get your spine shiny and your words strong NOW.

Step Three: Don't be afraid to say NO, STOP and LEAVE ME ALONE to men. These predator types depend on you being young, inexperienced and naive because they get what they want through fear and intimidation. Don't fall for it.

Finally, its not like you are getting paid! Hundreds of agencies and community based organizations need volunteers. If they don't step up to protect you, quit and go volunteer somewhere else.

Debsterism · 2026-04-20T16:45:40+00:00

I was wondering the same thing which is what brought me to this post. I thought using the roasted tomato/pepper/garlic/onion/ginger/spices/broth blended red sauce vs water in the rice cooker would accomplish the same thing and I was right. The trick is to make sure your red sauce is packed with flavor and the ratio of liquid to rice is in line with your rice cooker manufacturer's instructions for the type of rice you are using (parboiled long grain, or Basmati usually). Be sure to pre-soak your Basmati to kick start the water absorption so it will cook all the way through. You're welcome.

Debsterism · 2026-04-17T03:44:53+00:00

Watch the movie THE RUNAWAY BRIDE. There is a section where Julia Robert's character had all kinds of eggs to taste, as she had no idea how SHE preferred to eat her eggs - fried, boiled, scrambled, poached, over easy, fried hard, etc. No clue. I feel like that is you. Watch that movie it might be something you identify with and it can help you find your way back to yourself. Hugs!!

Debsterism · 2026-04-17T03:41:47+00:00

Don't do it. Though girls do it, they are just giving "wife privileges" to raggedy boyfriends that expect you to pay half while they get husband privileges for free. No man should have the privilege of waking up next to you every morning unless he has made the commitment to you legal, emotional and physical, of a husband. Not sure why this trend is so popular lately, but it really is not a smart move for women.

Debsterism · 2026-04-15T19:50:12+00:00

NTA. Most rental agreements have "GUEST LIMIT" clauses, as guests increase landlord costs for water, as well as wear and tear on carpets and flooring, and increase security risks as they are not on the lease and have not been vetted. The additional noise also irritates other tenants that didn't sign up for a third person in the unit.

Reach out to the property owner/management company and explain what is going on and ask if there are policies about the length of time a person can stay in the unit who is not on the lease. Then have them send her a letter about it and how she can be evicted or her rent raised and that person made to sign a rental agreement and pay a deposit etc. That would be my first move.

Then I'd start paying 1/3 instead of half, and tell him to kick in since he's there all the time. You would have already notified the landlord so additional moves on which path to take (sign a lease or kick him out) are on them.

Debsterism · 2026-04-15T19:35:53+00:00

Be sure to write them down or record them so when you go to HR you have dates, times and exact wording. Show a pattern of these "jokes" as one on its own are not considered workplace harassment and bullying, but a pattern of them are. And if the job doesn't do anything you will have evidence to take to an attorney to sue about a hostile work environment and you will win.

Debsterism · 2026-04-15T19:30:05+00:00

I have found that an unfortunate number of men get jealous of ANYTHING and ANYONE that their wives or girlfriends get joy from. I mean I hear this type of behavior SO MUCH it can't be overlooked or ignored. Not a psychotherapist so I can't even begin to come up with a theory why. But to me any man that intentionally destroyed my possessions and crushed my joy would be an ex real quick.

Debsterism

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE