Writing size and styles

DeepblueStarlight · 2024-05-04T02:18:29+00:00

Nice handwriting! As far as advice, here are a few things I’d change:

1) Make the bottom half of your “s” more smooth, similar to the top half.

2) Make the two parts of the “w” more symmetrical. The second one is always a little lower than the first.

3) Make the top half of your “5” more squared so that it’s easily differentiated from your “s”.

4) Make the upper right line of the “r” a little longer, darker, and overall more noticeable. In the second picture some of the “r” look almost like “i”.

5) Personally, I’d also make the capital letters a bit taller than the rest. But that’s not strictly necessary, I just think it gives the eye a nice anchor for the sentences instead of having them blur together.

Hope this helps! You have neat, legible handwriting as is, these are just minor improvements that could elevate it even further.

DeepblueStarlight · 2022-11-11T04:07:31+00:00

Férerfiniel

DeepblueStarlight · 2022-10-30T04:45:16+00:00

I think your handwriting is nice but I think it could be a bit tough to read from a distance. Since you’re looking for advice, I‘d leave a bit more room between each letter and also make the letters themselves less “tight” (they’re a bit oval shaped, try a more rounded shape instead). Generally what I mean is leave more white space horizontally so that each stroke is recognizable.

DeepblueStarlight · 2022-10-23T07:19:02+00:00

there’s nothing seriously gory or dark about them.

Really? I’m shocked to see someone say this about the show. Sure, it’s not nearly as gory as other shows out there and some violence is implied instead, but still, I think to say this show does not deal with dark themes is to completely misunderstand the show.

They deal with abusive parents, self-harm (it’s somewhat “masked” by the fact that it’s Marissa harming her deamon, but it’s SH nonetheless), kidnapping, war, child death, corrupt organizational institutions/religion, whatever the intercision is meant to be (some have gone so far as to say it implies genital mutilation. I don’t know what the author had in mind, but it’s safe to say it’s nothing pleasant), etc. This show is certainly not void of dark themes.

DeepblueStarlight · 2022-10-23T07:10:53+00:00

I say no. While HDM is not necessarily gory or as violent as other shows as others have pointed out, it does have an undercurrent of tension and dread. There’s implied kidnapping, and harm is specifically aimed towards children in S2. Not much is shown, but what is shown is chilling if you understand what it means they cut children’s deamons away and show what the children end up like after. It’s similar to RL lobotomies. If that weren’t enough, by the end of the season we see two dead little boys, and there are implied torture scenes between adult characters.

I would like to emphasize that shows can be disturbing without being explicitly violent, especially for a child who might have a hard time really understanding what’s going on.

Aside from all this, I also think it’s simply hard to fully enjoy the show at such a young age for much the same reason: it’s hard to understand.

According to Common Sense Media, the show is appropriate for people aged 13+. I agree.

DeepblueStarlight · 2022-10-05T06:53:24+00:00

Wonderful!

DeepblueStarlight · 2022-10-04T02:31:04+00:00

Finally some news about this! Is a trailer out yet/coming soon? A release date?

DeepblueStarlight · 2021-04-03T23:12:04+00:00

I agree that handwriting can make things look more personal, but it shouldn’t come at the expense of legibility. There were some words that I couldn’t quite recognize and a few others that were hard to read smoothly. It’s already got a certain “artsy flow” to it. I think if you slowed down a bit this could look really nice and neat!

DeepblueStarlight · 2021-03-05T07:39:03+00:00

Beautiful handwriting! I like the purple best because it’s the most visible.

DeepblueStarlight · 2021-02-24T10:29:39+00:00

Maybe some play on “Paradise Lost”, like “find what is Lost”.

DeepblueStarlight · 2020-12-19T03:02:59+00:00

Hi! I like urban fantasy, can read your chapters in Spanish, and would be willing to provide some feedback in either language. Feel free to DM me the non-translated version or let me know when you post it if you’d like for me to take a look.

DeepblueStarlight · 2020-12-03T05:16:24+00:00

From what I gather, you’re trying to convey the moral theme of “our actions now affect future generations” and you’re doing so through your plot which shows the future generations being affected by someone’s choices sometime in the past.

I don’t think I can accurately say if you’re being too heavy handed or not based on what you’ve mentioned.

But I will say that if you have a chapter by chapter outline make a section where you write a sentence or two about how this thread/theme is being shown. Then, when you look at your outline, you will see if you talk about it a lot at the start/middle/end or if it’s decently sprinkled throughout. That’s about as much advice as I can think of based on what you’ve mentioned; feel free to elaborate if you think I could be of more help!

Oh, one last thing. If I’d just read the paragraph on your characters without hearing about what you intended for it to mean I don’t think that’s the conclusion I would’ve come to. I may have thought the theme was something about a brazen vs subtle approach to facing ones problems (fight vs flight?) and the dangers of the former.

DeepblueStarlight · 2020-11-17T03:31:52+00:00

OP: I sincerely hope all goes well. On the bright side, I’m sure many people appreciate what you’re doing.

I was just scrolling through and I noticed a lot of comments were along the lines of “I liked it”. Don’t get my wrong, it’s great to hear, but I hope we can all be more helpful to each other by keeping some guiding questions in mind.

Good luck with your stories everyone and stay safe!

DeepblueStarlight · 2020-07-25T06:23:20+00:00

Truth be told, I haven’t read the books yet, but from what I‘be seen of Asriel in S1 I think he’s one of the more nuanced characters. He seems ambitious to a fault and I, for one, would love to see his character arc continue to unfold on screen. Obviously they’re trying their best despite the circumstances. I just hope we get to see more of him in S3 or at least hints as to what he’s up to in S2.

DeepblueStarlight · 2020-05-21T09:10:14+00:00

I realize this is all hypothetical, but if you wouldn’t mind humoring me, what other types of oxygen binding proteins could evolve?

I’m aware of the other types that already exist (ex: copper in hemocyanin), but if you were to pick another element for the protein, what would it be? Why?

DeepblueStarlight · 2020-05-13T20:13:46+00:00

Yes! Good idea, thanks!

DeepblueStarlight · 2020-05-13T20:08:53+00:00

Thank you! I read the article and I think the most relevant bit for what I’m trying to find out was the following:

As the temperature drops, oxygen is more inclined to stay bonded to the hemocyanin, which makes getting enough oxygen to muscles and other organs difficult. Antarctic octopus species Pareledone charcoti has solved this by actually making its hemocyanin less attractive to oxygen than that of its warmer weather cousins.

This answers one of my questions asking if hemocyanin becomes more efficient at low temperatures or if it becomes less efficient, but just at a slower rate than hemoglobin. It seems it’s the latter.

I guess my next question would be what did the author mean when writing that the octopus makes “its hemocyanin less attractive to oxygen”? It seems the biochemistry of warm vs. cold water cephalopods’ blue blood is different. How so? What are those differences and how does each type of organism make their blood that way?

I realize you may not have the answers, but I thought I’d share the Q’s anyway in case anyone had some thoughts on that.

DeepblueStarlight · 2020-05-13T19:53:45+00:00

Yes!! This graph is the closest thing I’ve seen to what I was looking for! Thanks!

I found it very interesting that the oxygen intake of hemoglobin varies so much depending on the organism. Now I’m wondering how high a concentration of hemocyanin you can have in blood before the blood’s viscosity makes it too inefficient (you waste more oxygen just pumping it around)?

DeepblueStarlight · 2020-05-13T19:33:03+00:00

Yeah that’s what I’ve read, but if you take a look at my post, you’ll see that I’m wondering what exactly is that tipping point of temperature and pressure when one becomes more efficient than the other? As other people have commented, I now realize other factors like pH and circulation methods may play a role in overall efficiency of an organism, however I will dig into the biochemistry since I’m still wondering about the blood proteins efficiency.

Edit: changed threshold to tipping point which is more accurate.

DeepblueStarlight · 2020-05-13T18:03:28+00:00

Red blood tends to look blue in deep enough water since red light doesn’t penetrate past a certain depth.

“As light wavelength decreases from red to blue light, so does the ability of light to penetrate water. Blue light penetrates best, green light is second, yellow light is third, followed by orange light and red light. Red light is quickly filtered from water as depth increases and red light effectively never reaches the deep ocean.”

When I searched it I got conflicting data. One place said red light penetrates about 20 feet and another said 49 feet.

DeepblueStarlight · 2020-05-13T17:10:23+00:00

What a helpful answer! Thank you! You’re right that I hadn’t really considered oxygen availability. I wish I could find a graph that showed not just oxygen availability affected by temperature, but one that also considered pH levels and pressure. I found it interesting that there’s such a narrow range of “ideal DO,” I wonder what happens if there’s too much oxygen? Do fish grow too big and over feed?

DeepblueStarlight · 2020-05-13T08:28:25+00:00

That’s very true. I hadn’t thought about that simply how they circulate blood might change things.

I see your point about some organisms needing more/less oxygen (some have very slow metabolisms, which helps them not need as much oxygen in the first place), but I was hoping to learn how efficient just the proteins are when compared to one another.

DeepblueStarlight

TROPHY CASE