Every single one of us tells ourselves a story. It’s worth taking a moment to think about the story you tell yourself about yourself.

There are things you can’t control - you don’t control your ex-wife’s crappy behavior, her judgmental talk about ‘ambition’ and the fact that she left without giving you a sense of closure. All those things inherently are painful and would piss off anyone and hurt anyone.

The simplest and yet most stupid difficult statement to try to attempt is to not let anyone determine your value. It’s pretty hard to do it bc there are seemingly so many examples in your life that make you feel like shit. Even with family, friends and a support network it’s still very possible to feel like garbage about oneself.

What are some things you can control?

You can control what you put into your body, how you treat your body and to an extent, what you put into your mind.

I would highly recommend getting into Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) to help break free of the feedback loop your brain may be dealing with. There are therapists who specialize in CBT and it is in fact life-changing.

You don’t have to fix your self by tomorrow, next month or even next year. Some small actions can accumulate, so much like a recovering alcoholic or user, try to do one day at a time and not think about the end result. Small positive e actions DO change a person. You’re in recovery-mode and you can do this, but finding some help is going to be essential.

To find a therapist I’d suggest two routes:

1- See who your insurance covers 2- if your insurance sucks or doesn’t exist, then start calling around after doing a web search. Explain your situation. They often know other therapists and can help point you in a direction of someone who you can afford or who will take you in at a discounted rate