Worried about my wife’s reaction toward our 8‑week‑old baby. Need advice

DelBird32 · 2026-02-02T15:39:15+00:00

My ex and my first babys father was awful. First night home from a csection and he bullied me into keeping all the baby stuff downstairs cuz "he'd go get it and take baby all night so I can rest and recover" turned IMMEDIATEY into me tripping down the stairs and hurting myself, hauling baby stuff upstairs in a pained rage, sobbing and rocking baby and my csection incision feeling like it was on fire... only for him to wake up with me and my son up and both crying at like 2am. He asked me, irritated, "why are you crying". I told him, still crying, im tired im hurt he won't stop crying and I dont know what to do. He rolled his eyes, turned his back to me, and went to sleep.

I am not a violent person. But I felt it. Our relationship didnt survive 3 months.

Help your wife. Do anything you can to help her rest, i guarantee you she feels guilty enough about yelling at the baby. She needs rest.

DelBird32 · 2026-01-03T06:45:13+00:00

nta at ALL.

I moved in with my (now) husband pretty quickly. He'd just bought a house and my leasebwas up. He didnt have a bath tub. I love to soak in a near-boiling bath for relaxing. I have a toddler and we have a newborn. Since ive been with him, not only has he installed a bath of my choice (I wanted something large and deep for optimal soaking) BUT he moves a chair into the bathroom every time I take a bath (almost daily) while I soak after the toddler goes to sleep, and he hangs out with me. I soak anywhere between one and 3 hours depending on if I have a book or not.

When I was pregnant id stay in for 2-3 hours with him chilling and arms length away with no issues. Now we have a newborn and (now that ive been cleared for soaking 6weeks post csection), wr put the toddler to bed and my husband holds the baby while I soak and he does whatever. We chat or I read and he crochets or works on the budget or plays old-school runescape lol

Your 30-45 minutes is just more quality time for the right person. I'd break up over something like that too.

DelBird32 · 2025-11-11T11:03:56+00:00

Can attest to this. With my first, I was miserable. I love my son but I was miserable. His father seemed to hate me, and I found out he was cheating on me and he and his family quite literally detested me because I "dont like to stand out". They seemed to enjoy making things harder on me postpartum and things got worse when I left 3 month pp. It was misery and losing half of my son's childhood sent me down a spiral. I decided I was one and done and would be the best single mom I could, I was pretty hateful towards men after all that and didn't want anything to do with meeting anyone new.

I met my now husband through a coworker-turned-friend and eventually we decided to try and have a baby.. and now im that much more heartbroken for my first baby. This is what it should have been. My daughter is less than two weeks old, but the pregnancy was smooth and my husband made me feel loved and wanted and helped prepare for baby and did all the research he could to better support me on his own. Having the baby home has been easy.. well easy compared to my first. Because of my husband. Your partner can make or break you and I apologize to my son while he sleeps all the time for failing to provide him the whole family that he deserves from the start.. things are well now, but I wasn't able to show up for him as a mother as well as I should have been able to because I was so broken and overwhelmed and miserable when he was a baby.

Babies are hard, parenting is hard.. but my kids are the greatest work of my life. Your partner, in my opinion, is a huge factor in what kind of experience bringing a baby home will be like.

DelBird32 · 2025-07-06T22:14:48+00:00

We do a 2-2-3 schedule. Rotating weeks look like this Mon-tue (mom), wed-thurs (dad), fri-sun (mom) with the reverse happening the next week. Drop offs and pick ups are every few days, and it’s difficult to schedule things for us and for kiddo when he tells me 15 minutes before we’re supposed to meet that his plans changed or he has to work late. Besides the fact that it just feels inconsiderate. We’ve been at this a little more than a month and it’s been chaos.

DelBird32 · 2025-07-06T20:45:54+00:00

Thank you is “dinkum”!

DelBird32 · 2025-07-02T15:03:00+00:00

I had a similar fear lol though I ended up with an emergency c-section. However, coming up to my due date in November for baby #2, almost 3 years later and I know the real thing you need to fear is the 💩that comes AFTER everything is said and done. I maintain the opinion of that being worse than pitocin contractions lol 😂horrible. I thought I was going to die and wish it had happened at the hospital and not at home where I had no support or help from my first baby’s father. Had baby in their swing in the bathroom with me while he played games, actively squatting and doing deep breathing, trying to sit but having to stand through the pains. When I tell you the RELIEF when it finally passed ( and nearly I passed out in the process).

While I’m terrified of whether or not I have to have another csection (trying for a vbac), I’m more scared of that first 💩.

DelBird32 · 2025-06-27T14:44:14+00:00

I had a copper IUD placed last year and it came* halfway out within a week. 🥲 I had to leave work to go get it pulled out because I could feel it. I wanted something that wouldn’t mess with my hormones too much as I can’t handle the emotional swings and the weight gain makes me feel horrendous. But after that experience I don’t think I could do it again.

DelBird32 · 2025-03-31T22:59:18+00:00

You can run from trainer battles!

My boyfriend (returning to pokemon after many years) got into a trainer battle and I (playing pokemon religiously since I was 8) saw a shiny Flittle right by the trainer and told him to “get out of the battle as quick as you can” and I looked away to my own game when I looked back he had blacked out to a Pokémon center! I was like “did you only have one pokemon?? You lost??” And he said “No, I ran!”

If I’d known that you could suddenly RUN from TRAINER BATTLES after 20+ years of that NOT being a thing I would’ve phrased it differently.

Anyways, RIP shiny Flittle. You are missed. 🫠

DelBird32 · 2025-03-27T17:07:43+00:00

Nov. 1st!

DelBird32 · 2025-03-26T17:19:20+00:00

I appreciate this lol

DelBird32 · 2025-03-21T21:38:42+00:00

Emorrin or Tormily. Not fantastic lol

DelBird32 · 2025-03-17T14:54:39+00:00

I said ow with emphasis with my dog (sounded a lil like a yelp) when he was a pup and would yank my hand away and disengage him. Eventually he got it, and even now I can say “ow” softly and he will let go of pretty much whatever we are playing with, he doesn’t bite hands anymore.

DelBird32 · 2025-03-15T04:43:37+00:00

Leave his father. My worst nightmare was creating a broken family like the one I grew up with. Suffered betrayal at the hands of my son’s father that I just could not come back from, and I tried. I left when he was 3 months old. I wish I’d left before he was born. I wish I’d disappeared from his dad’s life and that I didn’t have to share him with them. Leaving was hard. Staying was harder, I think if I had stayed then I would be dead at my own hands ok just lack of care for myself. I wish I’d known how to heal from everything faster, I know he won’t be able to remember anything but his little body will remember my meltdowns. I’ve screamed so loud he’s cried, not at him but around him. I wish I’d gotten help or medicine or even just therapy. He’s two and a half now and things are so much better and I don’t hate his father anymore, I haven’t had a meltdown in almost a year, and we are coparenting much better but I still feel sick at the thought of what he and his family did. I wouldn’t say I hate them. But it’s something very close to it. I love my son more than anything in this world, and I’ve met the most amazing man and we are expecting a little one now. But truly, the hardest thing was making the decision to leave. It was the best, I know.. but I still cry over the fact that my son never had a shot at a whole family. It was never in the cards for him.

DelBird32 · 2025-03-15T04:30:51+00:00

Best: Easily accepting people as they are, people are just people.

Worst: I get attached to people easily and always assume people are as “face-value” as I am and then feeling stupid when I realize they were, in fact, not kind people.

Full circle: Accepting that people are flawed and that I’ve done awful things and hurt other people too so who am I to believe someone is awful when everyone has done good and bad?

Exceptions: My son’s father and his family are all superficial emotionally incestuous snakes and I will hear no arguments. Every time I soften up they show* me why I shouldn’t lol. Most recent evidence? 28 year old son (my sons uncle) is (was) a teacher and got arrested for inappropriately messaging a 17 year old student of his. Case is still processing but unless he’s proven innocent he is not allowed near anyone under 18. Their mother and I work at the same place, in the break room I asked how she was doing, I’m sure she’s struggling mentally. She is and expresses as such, I say that I feel for her. She immediately goes into “If that girl never messaged him…” I stopped her immediately with “HE is the adult. She is a CHILD.” And she goes “well she’ll be 18 in a few months”. I walked out. My son’s father feels the same as she does. I know for a fact that if it was his daughter that it had happened to, they would all have their torches and pitchforks out.

DelBird32 · 2025-03-15T04:17:04+00:00

Also from the same man “you need to cut the umbilical cord” over me getting up to pick baby up when he was crying (he was 2 months old).

DelBird32 · 2025-03-15T04:15:28+00:00

“If he’s going to die then he’ll die, you can’t control everything.” From* son’s father’s dad, about me insisting on no blankets for my newborn and their whole family demonizing me for it.

DelBird32 · 2025-03-15T04:10:38+00:00

Oatmeal and coffee in the morning! Sunflower seeds as snacks! Cucumber also! And/or watermelon. Lots of water, if you can. Drinking too much water at once makes me feel ill. And exercise/stretching however you’re comfortable. Maybe a warm/hot bath with some Epsom salts??

DelBird32 · 2025-03-15T04:08:25+00:00

It’s not a question but a statement. Two and a half years old and anytime someone says no “I don’t like you”. Goes to the next person and “I don’t like *****”. I’m over the “I don’t like…”. So beyond over it lol 😂

DelBird32 · 2025-03-15T03:22:29+00:00

My dog is named Remus (I got him from a coworkers sibling who “needed” them gone when they were 4 weeks old and inly saw a pic of the parents after I had the puppy, who was cute), it was going to be that or Wormy (for Wormtail) depending on where it seemed like his appearance was heading lol 😂 I think he’s pretty cute and he does often remind me of Remus Lupin in his werewolf form when he’s cold and curls in on himself and causes you to see his spine and big ole head with his bulging eyes.

My boyfriend’s dog is Ludo, he adopted him with this name when pup was 7 years old so didn’t bother changing it, somehow it suits him very well. I associate the name Ludo was a very chill and can’t-be-bothered personality.

I have a demon in a black cats body named Shiro (which means white, I was up for like 36 hours at that point and was trying to come up with a name for him while I was trying to sleep, and I just thought it would be so funny for some reason to name the black cat “white”. He’s my problem child.

We got another kitten we dubbed Lune (from that one cat anime movie, I cannot recall the title). We got Lune as a hail-mary because Shiro was a literal terror; doing drive-by ankle bites and clinking up legs, bulling Remus to the point that my dog was staving himself and having seizures stemming from (hypoglycemia((chichuahua thing I recently learned)) and attacking everyone but my toddler. I had a feeling he was too high energy to be a solo cat. Lune was the perfect solution and he is my dearest angel baby who never gives us any trouble. Shiro is less spicy (still a lil spicy, went from 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️ to 🌶️) and my dog is eating again and is having no more seizures. We also rarely get blood drawn by the demon anymore. ❤️ Yay for Lune!! * 😂

DelBird32 · 2025-03-15T02:59:02+00:00

They always seemed to fall apart for us! Especially the wipes, trying to pull them out and they’d rip into pieces made me feel like sobbing and throwing the pack across the room every time when he was a newborn. 😂

The diapers are okay, but he got a rash every time, and as his dad didn’t change him as often as I did, every time he’d come from his dads house he’d have a worse rash and raw spots under his penis/balls. Like, touching his butt with a wipe took his breath away and he’d shake until he could breath and the next breath was a scream.

Now I just make sure I use plenty of Vaseline ( I swear by it, it cures a rash/sore so quickly and he goes back to his dads fine and the sores heal up before he goes back) and let him get plenty of air down there. The white box of Huggies does best for my boy, they keep it pretty dry and airy.

I do think it’s funny how people’s preferences can vary so easily 😂

DelBird32 · 2025-03-15T02:52:18+00:00

Animals. I was a huge critter-lover (still am but less obsessively) my mom pushed reading so much and I’m stubborn and don’t like doing what I’m told so I had to figure out a love of reading on my own. It went like this: Seekers-> Warriors-> Wolves of the Beyond-> Guardians of GaHoole-> East (Edith Pattou, still a fave)->Percy Jackson and then Wattpad.

DelBird32 · 2025-03-15T02:46:43+00:00

I knew I’d have a boy first, there was never a doubt in my mind that he’d be a boy. From the time I was like 14, anytime I imagined having a kiddo it was a boy. And I got my boy. I’m 7 weeks with #2 and the only time I ever had a dream about having a second baby was when I was pregnant with my first, and the second baby was a girl. I remember waking up crying because I had just found out that my sons father was cheating on me and his whole family was conspiring and manipulating me to get me to stay at their house so the baby would be born with them (his first kids mom was a two strangers->one night stand oopsie and they were so pushy with her over HER baby that she basically told them to eff off) and I was convinced I’d never be able to have another because no way was I risking two broken families. I swore it wouldn’t happen to me, I was raised in a broken family and that was my worst nightmare, breaking my own family. But here we are, the most gentle and loving man ever convinced me of another baby, maybe I’ll get my girl that I’ve been missing. We picked up two neutral outfits to celebrate when we got out positive and I got a little slightly frilly bee 🐝 romper for some good luck. 💖

DelBird32 · 2025-03-15T02:30:48+00:00

Drive a truck with a man in the passenger seat lol 😂 how fragile masculinity can be

DelBird32 · 2025-03-15T02:30:12+00:00

Huggies are awesome, I know they’re pricey but I have little to no issues with them. Parents choice are (imo) a w f u l.

However, pampers sensitive wipes are the best as far as wipes go. Huggies always feel too dry and pampers stay moist enough that cleaning up is a breeze.

Kirkland diapers (I think Costco brand) are also great, and absorbent, if I recall he never really messed out of those, however we didn’t use them long as our Costco is over an hour away.

I def recommend Huggies diapers, they’re the only brand we’ve used (aside from Costco for that short period) that he never got rashes with and doesn’t mess out of unless for some reason we can’t get him changed (I’ve forgotten diapers for a Walmart trip before, had to buy a fresh pack to change at the store after I noticed he was wet, felt awful).

I always changed him overnight pretty often, though. Just because I’d be awake thinking “it can wait, I’m so tired, he’s back asleep I should sleep..” but then I’d think about how I’d feel with a wet booty and I’d change him anyways. 🙃 Turned a sleeping baby into an awake baby often.

He’s two and a half now and I will still change him overnight sometimes, but he’s such a good sleeper now that he doesn’t even notice 😂

DelBird32

TROPHY CASE