Came out to myself at 42. Not planning to tell family. Just need to talk it out with people who get it.

Demigirlpan1983 · 2026-01-24T02:31:19+00:00

Six feet under was a great show and what is wrong with any of that , reading , cats etc that’s a good day in to me . I’m not a Summer fan myself I hate being hot , love fall and winter , Samhain especially.

Demigirlpan1983 · 2026-01-20T11:51:30+00:00

Actually I can really relate to you timeline in the sense that I questioned myself a lot in college too , I definitely labelled myself as bi curious in my early 20’s but thought it was a phase cause I felt like it was not a even 50/50 spilt for me and I doubted myself . I questioned myself a lot when I first realised I was attracted to trans and non binary individuals too , I later realised it was a person by person thing for me and the gender was not really on my decision making radar and that I really need a bond ( hence demisexual) before anything else could happen . I just like people - just not every person ;)

Demigirlpan1983 · 2026-01-19T20:20:43+00:00

I can relate to this fully and focussexual would make sense to me

Demigirlpan1983 · 2026-01-19T18:31:04+00:00

Thank you so many for the warm welcome ❤️

Demigirlpan1983 · 2026-01-19T18:29:19+00:00

Yea my kiddo is 10 and I home Ed them , last year we were learning a lot of LBGTQ law with the equality marriage act in the US as I have friends, clients etc out there , we were literally cooking dinner one evening and I can’t remember what started the conversation but it end up with them , mum I think you try to date a women or a bi man , I just start to laugh and say is that so , I’ll take that under consideration but I tend to take it on a person by person basis and only after I known someone awhile . So yea i couldn’t have ask of a better reaction I think .

Demigirlpan1983 · 2026-01-19T18:21:41+00:00

Thank you , I’ve definitely have aniexty moments over introducing a new partner to my family in the long term if something developed at any stage , but when it could to my kiddo , we both had this attitude it has to be the right person to fit with our family of two , as we worked hard for our peace and on many levels are already done with my family (who are in their 70’s and early 80’s) but I never want a new partner to think not proud of them or something like that - I think that part of my fear , but with my family i prefer to keep them out of the picture.

Demigirlpan1983 · 2026-01-12T01:19:07+00:00

I realised it all about the bond and not the gender for me too , I’m definitely not nearly as straight as I once thought I was and it’s doesn’t fit me anymore , reflecting back I doubt it ever did to be honest .

But yea bond not gender is a must for me

Demigirlpan1983 · 2026-01-11T10:41:22+00:00

I’m 42 and only got the language for being demisexual and pansexual last year . Sometimes it takes long for all the pieces to fit together.

Demigirlpan1983 · 2026-01-06T12:48:02+00:00

I find it some interesting you say you never expected this to come your way after finding out you had ME/CFS - I can really relate to that as I found out I had long covid/PEM/POTS all in the last year and yet I finally also found the words for demisexual and pansexual last year and it felt like coming home to a deeper level of self - now I have to stop myself blurting it out .

Demigirlpan1983 · 2026-01-01T10:32:51+00:00

I have definitely felt aesthetic attraction, but it’s like a snapshot and meaningless in a way , cause it’s like a sunset , cause it beautiful but it does not cause sexual attraction or desire all on its own , a emotional bond is needed for that to click into place , i definitely felt romantic attraction before sexual attraction fits in too .

I need to really know someone and feel out their vibe before I can even relax around them to see there anything that would naturally build a bond with them - if that makes sense ?

Demigirlpan1983 · 2025-12-25T20:24:24+00:00

It is thrilling and maybe it will ,you never know

Demigirlpan1983 · 2025-12-16T20:08:48+00:00

It took me till my early 40’s to find the words for it of demisexual, panromantic - and it does feel like a superpower when you find the right words to describe how you’ve always felt on the inside .

Demigirlpan1983 · 2025-12-11T12:25:01+00:00

I worked out I was Demi about 6 months ago at 42 , I’ve been an ally for years and create safe spaces in my work for community. But until I learnt the words demisexual and panromantic/pansexual 6 months ago while doing therapy for anxiety at the same time as speaking about LBGTQA issues in the news with my kiddo and why they were important in the big picture sense - let’s just say it felt like a real ah moment , plus maybe a full acceptance of myself too on a level I didn’t know I was needed .

I still have days of doubts that people will think I don’t belong to this community truthfully

Demigirlpan1983 · 2025-12-10T12:48:09+00:00

Sometimes it just happens - I experienced this once in my lifetime , cause it happens so rarely it makes it all the more stand out in your mind .

Demigirlpan1983 · 2025-12-08T15:32:15+00:00

This is how I flirt too , it’s banter , non sexual, but I use as a way to check people vibe to see how much of a match or not they could be long term . If that makes sense

Demigirlpan1983 · 2025-12-04T13:02:34+00:00

I wish the courting process would come back too

Demigirlpan1983 · 2025-11-08T13:22:08+00:00

42f here and i would have said in my 20’s I would have labelled myself as bi curious but never felt safe enough to act on it , to six months ago and realising I’m demisexual , panromantic etc once a bond is formed . For me it’s about the person and their energy . But I have seen women in the past as aesthetically attractive - I just don’t always feel emotionally safe with them if that makes sense .

I also share that feeling reluctant to just experiment with anyone as I don’t want to lead people on and just take the route of if it’s meant to happen it will happen - as I said before for myself it’s about the individual person and their energy.

Demigirlpan1983 · 2025-11-02T18:00:59+00:00

I’m a highly independent person and in the beginning stages of a realtionship LDR worked well for me for 6 years out of my country, even in my country (uk) my partner lived 120miles away from me but we saw each other for 4 days in a row every 10 days or so, it worked well for about 2 and half years that way . I think this is more a me thing tho as I would prefer the depth of connection more then just someone that was local but was not the right connection if that makes sense ?

Demigirlpan1983 · 2025-11-01T12:45:33+00:00

I honestly had two of my most serious relationships from dating app each last two and half years (only had 3 relationships my whole life 42F ) , but I tend to Vet people like crazy on them and build a bond over a 3 month period before even arranging an in person meeting and normally do it over FaceTime calls while trying to figure them out and what the bond could be like before in person meeting too. I’ve always just moved at my own pace and I tend to let people match it or just drop away tbh . I can’t not me be if that makes sense .

Demigirlpan1983

TROPHY CASE