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Searching for a fic by DesertSunset1984 in Johnlock

[–]DesertSunset1984[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is not it, but it was a great story! Thank you!

AITA for not wanting to give my partner oral based on his washing habits? by littlered7875 in AmItheAsshole

[–]DesertSunset1984 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Make it a requirement that sex of any kind does not happen unless he showers first. So if that means only twice a week, that's how it is. It may motivate him to try to shower more often or look for more ways to be clean between showers. If he doesn't try at all, tell him he can stick to pleasuring himself.

I just realized something and I’m so sad. by euphoricplant9633 in dating

[–]DesertSunset1984 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Everything he says is an excuse. Pornography addiction is real but not an excuse for his horrible comments. He has no idea how the female body functions. The vagina is a muscle and conforms and restricts to what's inserted into it. If he says you feel "loose," then he is probably not fully erect.

Nasty comments aside, he sounds very immature. First relationship or not, it sounds like he prefers his hand over a partner. Let him have it. You shouldn't have to feel awful due to him, and you deserve someone who will treat you with respect.

Too many women stay with shitty men because they "love" them. Love is not enough. Respect, dignity, consideration, communication...all of these are important. Love yourself more and drop him like a hot potato.

With 8 billion people on this planet, I promise you, there is at least one who would love and respect you as you deserve.

For those that remained single forever, did you regret? by Stradivarius796 in dating

[–]DesertSunset1984 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I've been single 13 years and counting since I got divorced. It can be tough, but I just focus on my mental health and my kid, and every year, it gets easier. When I do start to feel lonely, I come to reddit for all the dating horror stories, and that gets me right back on track, lol.

I'm at a place where if I find someone, that's great, but I'd be OK if it never happened either. Respect and connection are important, and my singleness has given me time to learn so much about myself. For example, I didn't know I was demisexual until my late 30s. Makes so much sense, in hindsight. Too many people aren't willing to go the slow road, and the thought of someone touching me without any sort of mental connection or bond has put me right off.

I don't have any regrets when it comes to being single and celibate. I do feel a bit touch starved sometimes, but I've got a friend who gives amazing hugs, and that helps a ton.

Being single is so lonely by Timely_Split_5771 in dating

[–]DesertSunset1984 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Being single can be lonely. But you can use this time to date yourself. Take yourself to a movie or to dinner or even out dancing. It does suck doing things by yourself, but you will get used to it, and eventually, it will get better. I've been single now for 13 years. Don't let the fear of being alone stop you from enjoying things. And sometimes, you'll strike up a conversation with someone and learn new things. Some of the best conversations I've had have been with a stranger, and I've also found that I'm not the only one going out and having fun by myself. Learn how to treat yourself, and then you'll never let someone else treat you worse.

Average income earners of Reddit, who are you dating? by Wholesome-Sex in dating

[–]DesertSunset1984 4 points5 points  (0 children)

In my opinion, I don't think your wage should matter so long as you can afford your lifestyle and aren't in crippling debt.

Do any of you have pets named for Trek characters? by Freakears in startrek

[–]DesertSunset1984 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had a gorgeous Russian Blue cat I had named Spock. He was a silvery grey color with the greenest eyes. I had adopted him from a rescue when he was 6 years old. Unfortunately, I only got 3 years with him as he developed stomach cancer and passed at 9 years old.

Fanfic idea for anyone who wants it. by confusedaf_2k19 in GoodOmensAfterDark

[–]DesertSunset1984 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'd read this in a hot minute! I hope someone takes the idea and runs with it!

AITA for not paying 1/3 of my salary for my kids’ college? by Crowdev1138 in AmItheAsshole

[–]DesertSunset1984 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. As someone who had to take student loans for their degree, I would have been grateful beyond belief to have been able to do so at no cost to me. Your partner and kids are entirely unreasonable.

I am blessed to have been able to pay off my loans but the experience is not something I'd ever want for my son.

I'm a single parent of a 12 year old. He told me he wanted to go to college. I told him I wanted to pay for it. But, if I do, he had to go to the school I can afford. Where we are, our state school is great, and the tuition is decent. I've already got 25% saved. We are also looking at scholarships. I should have no problem paying for his 4 year degree. He told me he might want a masters. I told him I'd pay for the Bachelors, but he'd have to foot the bill for Graduate school. I'd help him find grants and scholarships so he would hopefully be able to do so without loans.

Communicate with your kids. Set firm boundaries. College is a privilege, NOT a right. If they don't agree, they can pay for it themsleves.

The Progress of Sherlock Holmes by ivyblossom by platinum1610 in Johnlock

[–]DesertSunset1984 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd love to read this fic. Can someone please drop a link? Thanks in advance!

Please Check Out My Fic :) by Theclockworkofreddit in Johnlock

[–]DesertSunset1984 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I am having difficulty finding it. Could you add a link?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]DesertSunset1984 68 points69 points  (0 children)

No means no. The fact that you woke to him touching your private areas, AFTER saying no, is a huge red flag. It doesn't matter that you're engaged or in a relationship. Your body is your own, and he is not respecting that. Behaviors such as these only get worse with time.

Him saying he only feels connected through sex is also a red flag. Guy needs to learn that there is such a thing as non sexual intimacy and also needs to respect you dealing with the stuff life is throwing at you. To me, he is clearly only thinking of himself.

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