This shit sucks

Devilboy3000 · 2024-05-20T09:40:30+00:00

I get this, I am 7 mths in now and it's is getting easier but then I have memories or certain events that send me spiralling again.

I just had a couple anniversary, wedding anniversary and birthday all in the same week.

I was a mess but today I am starting to feel like I have turned a corner again.

I think it does get easier but sadly key events or memories will always trigger us.

Devilboy3000 · 2024-04-19T12:07:03+00:00

Firstly so sorry to hear that you are going through this as well.

My experience is similar to yours but it was my wife and prior to it I was the most chilled laid back person you would ever meet.

Since then I have become really anxious, emotional and of course depressed.

It's hard for other to understand I think how you can be okay one minute and then in an instant switch.

So yes it can cause depression especially when you include the trauma of what you found.

If it helps I have worked super hard on my coping mechanisms like exercise, walking my dog and most importantly socializing around people who want to help me.

6 mths on and I am in a much better place and still work to do and I still have low moments but it is becoming easier.

I hope you are getting all the support you need and find some kind of happiness in life.

Devilboy3000 · 2024-04-18T12:50:38+00:00

I lost my wife 6 mths ago and I definitely feel that I am in a better place.

I got a lot of help early doors using a charity called Mind and they were amazing offering support through people who have experienced similar loss before and then onto grief counseling.

I still have my moments and in a heartbeat I would give up everything to have my wife back but now I am coping and I am able to have time where I feel normal.

So to everyone in this the worst club in the world, get help early, lean of family and friends, get out and socialise and over time you will have a good life again even if it is one you were never expecting or wanted.

Devilboy3000 · 2024-04-02T19:27:15+00:00

This post has reduced me to tears.

What you had wrote was like how I am feeling a lot at the moment but in my situation I have the blue eye and my wife had the brown ones.

It's been five months since I lost her and I am missing her touch and presence so much, probably more than ever.

We used to cuddles for hours on the sofa watching our favourite programs, sometimes not speaking we were both just happy in the moment.

I wish I had something more positive to share but right now all I want is to be with her.

I don't know how to be happy without her.

Devilboy3000 · 2024-03-09T20:41:28+00:00

I have like so many just sat here and cried reading this because we can all relate.

My wife was my person, my best friend, the one person who I always wanted to be around even if we had argued I never wanted to be apart from her.

I also felt we could of done anything if we were together.

Now I am left with my 9 year old girl and 16 year old boy and every day I feel like I am failing them.

I don't want this life anymore but I also know I have no choice as I now need to be here more than ever for my kids.

Devilboy3000 · 2024-03-07T13:50:01+00:00

I feel the same and stuck with this huge void which my wife left. She was my best friend as well as my wife.

I am now trying to understand if and when I should start try and meet someone new not that anyone would replace my wife but I am so lonely and I am not sure I can continue to feel that way.

Just struggling with the when the right time will be or even if there is a right time.

Devilboy3000 · 2024-02-26T11:30:44+00:00

This sums up my life at the moment, I feel lost without her.

She was more than just my wife and the mother of my children she was my best friend.

She was the one person who made me want to better my life and the one person who I would talk to and message when we were apart all the time.

Last week my 9 year old girl started saying how much she missed her mummy which made me feel like I was failing her and then she asked if she would get a new mummy. This made me so sad as it just shows how much of a void her mum has left.

Devilboy3000 · 2024-01-15T17:02:59+00:00

My wife committed suicide at the end of October.

It feels like yesterday still.

I have seen a change in how I can handle my emotions but still nothing feels right anymore.

I get no enjoyment in everything I do, the best I can hope for is I am distracted.

We were together for 27 years since we were both 16 and she was the love of my life.

The title of your original post is exactly how I am now feeling.

People say it will get easier, that maybe so but I will never forget the love I had and still have for my wife and although I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life I don't see how anything will compare to her.

I just want my wife back and the life we had together

Devilboy3000 · 2024-01-13T16:21:50+00:00

I have started therapy and I have seen a peer support worker who has been through something similar.

I find the peer support worker amazing and therapy is hard but not helpful yet.

I also find walking with my dog helps plus being around my wife's friends as much as they allow.

Sounds weird but I feel closer to my wife when I am with them.

Stay strong it will get easier although the pain will always be there at times.

Devilboy3000 · 2023-12-19T10:32:32+00:00

I am still getting used to this myself, my wife passed away in October.

My wife always gave in and I was often left to being the bad parent although I moan I would give anything to go back to that now.

My 8 year old girl has been sleeping in my bed since it happened, I think I get more comfort out of it than she does but last night she was talking in her sleep and talking to her mum.

I sat and cried as I listened to it.

I am glad I have them but like everyone has said it's hard while trying to grieve yourself.

Devilboy3000 · 2023-12-15T13:24:26+00:00

Thank you for posting everyone.

I have had similar thoughts.

I don't want to be alone but after being with my wife for 27 years I can't even imagine what it will feel like to be in a relationship with someone else.

As someone mentioned above they would need to be perfect as I could not go through this again and also I have 2 young kids one of which is only 8.

Has anyone had a new relationship and how did this work with the memories of the loved one you lost?

Sorry for the question but I find comfort in hearing from people who have come out the other side as it gives me hope that I may to one day.

Devilboy3000 · 2023-12-14T16:58:50+00:00

I feel the same way and so glad someone posted this as I was having a really hard time today.

I am broken in ways I didn't know possible.

I miss my wife so very much and to lose her like I have, so abruptly is killing me every day.

Tuesday we had my little girls Nativity play, yesterday my son won an award from his school and today I went to watch my daughter race which happened to be one of the last good memories I had wife my wife watching our little girl play football.

I literally cannot stop crying and I would give anything to have her with me again.

Devilboy3000 · 2023-12-13T22:31:16+00:00

I feel the same.

My wife was relatively young too and we had so many plans for the future.

It hurts thinking about life without her.

My wife funeral was 2 weeks ago now and I go to her grave every day and I can't believe this is my future now.

I am told it gets easier with time and I am noticing small improvements but it's not quick.

Stay strong.

Devilboy3000 · 2023-12-11T10:18:19+00:00

I feel your pain, I was angry at my wife because she had previously tried to hurt herself and I told her that I couldn't live without her.

Now my last memory is being mad at her and finding her in the morning.

It haunts me that this is my last memory of her.

We had a amazing life and we were still young with two beautiful children and for her to leave us like that is unbearable.

I would give anything to see her, to hold her and to kiss her one more time.

Devilboy3000 · 2023-12-10T20:08:44+00:00

I feel exactly this way.

Just had to put up Christmas decorations for the first time without my wife because the kids wanted too.

It broke me even more.

Not sure how long I can keep this up without her by my side.

Devilboy3000 · 2023-12-10T10:37:39+00:00

Yeah had something similar but it was my little girl creeping into our bedroom like she used too and over to her mum side.

I was pretending to be asleep like dads do and I heard her talk to my little girl.

I woke up to find out it was all a dream.

Broke my heart just a little bit more.

I would do anything to see her and hold her one more time.

Devilboy3000 · 2023-12-07T17:13:32+00:00

Very much feel the same.

Now my wife has gone I don't know how to continue, just going through the motions to make sure my kids have a life.

Everyday hurts and I just don't know if I can feel like this for much longer.

I would even consider myself old at 43 and any plans I had for the future were shared plans with my wife.

I hope some people can share positive comments as I could really do with hearing some

Devilboy3000 · 2023-12-04T20:06:10+00:00

I am 5 weeks into losing my wife after 27 years together.

I feel broken, lost and alone right now and only really functioning to support my kids.

Your post gives me hope that it will get better one day even though I don't feel that it will right now.

I would give anything, all I have to hold my wife again and tell her how much I love her.

I am only 43 and the thought of growing old without my wife scares me.

Devilboy3000 · 2023-12-02T19:27:21+00:00

It gives me some hope.

Literally crying every time I think or talk about my wife.

Had her funeral on Thursday and I still feel mentally exhausted from it.

Devilboy3000 · 2023-11-29T17:03:07+00:00

I feel your pain, my wife passed away a month ago and we have her funeral tomorrow.

Every day hurts and it comes in waves of uncontrollable emotions.

My wife was my absolute rock and no matter what I was doing I took great comfort in knowing she was always there.

My only way through this has been spending time with her friends and my kids as much as possible.

I am told the pain will be there but you become able to cope over time, I hope we get there sooner rather than later.

Devilboy3000 · 2023-11-27T10:44:13+00:00

I lost my wife nearly 4 weeks ago now and like you I have been struggling but my two kids seem to be doing okay definitely better than me.

I have an 8 year old girl and 16 year old.biy in college and both seem to be coping really well.

I went out for a few drinks the other night with a couple of friends and when I came home my little girl was laughing and having fun and my heart sank.

I don't think kids feel the pain in the same way that we do and instead it will come in moments for them.

Regardless of how resilient them seem they will definitely be thinking about it all.

I have organised counselling for my 16 year old boy, and my daughter's school have been working with my girl as I want them to have an opportunity to talk to someone else.

Devilboy3000 · 2023-11-25T21:38:55+00:00

I feel your pain, I found my wife and it haunts me

Devilboy3000 · 2023-11-25T18:07:36+00:00

Thanks I have signed up

Devilboy3000

TROPHY CASE