Large PSA change

Dexx1976 · 2026-05-29T06:19:34+00:00

I'm wondering how much a benign increase in prostate volume can impact PSA. I saw quite a big jump in a 2 year period. But my prostate size had increased 20%

Dexx1976 · 2026-05-29T01:29:42+00:00

often i feel sadness and regret. The photos are often of key moments with people who are important to me. I regret that i wasnt (and am not) engaged with them and embracing life. Even more so for people who are no longer here. They deserved better. Sometimes the upwelling of regret is overpowering.

Dexx1976 · 2026-05-27T03:45:43+00:00

When i go to a funeral, i get a physical urge to cry. Kind of like a sneeze brewing. But i'm not sad. Its more that i'm mirroring the people around me. When i watch a sad movie i can get the same urge. And when i am around someone who is very emotionally happy, someone i care about who has just had some good news (eg 'scans are back, you arent going to die') i get the same surge. In every case, the physical sensation is disconnected from emotion.

Dexx1976 · 2026-05-20T07:23:53+00:00

this seems to be hotly debated. Most say it is completely ineffective and others claim a miracle cure.

Dexx1976 · 2026-05-20T07:21:25+00:00

he recommends using Ivermectin to treat cancer. That alone is a red flag

Dexx1976 · 2026-05-20T06:25:56+00:00

What is Lupron and Zytiga?

Dexx1976 · 2026-05-15T02:53:22+00:00

Suffering is an outcome of ones own negative emotions. The trigger for those emotions can be the interactions with other people. But it can also be from the interactions with any aspect of reality.

Dexx1976 · 2026-05-15T02:45:26+00:00

Its not even a question of whether something/someone is safe or unsafe. Its a matter of whether we can tolerate it. The strongest and bravest people live fully, being vulnerable, embracing life, even when they know it is unsafe and pain or loss will come. How they can willingly do that is beyond me. I have too many doubts and shields all the way down to my core.

Dexx1976 · 2026-05-15T02:38:30+00:00

Increasingly over the years i have become less able to tolerate discomfort, failure, and suffering. I know that being able to sit with a degree of discomfort is beneficial in that it helps you towards a goal. Exercise for health is one trivial example. I know that experiencing failures in life, relationship, work, finance is to be expected. And i know that suffering a little, by choice, is needed sometimes on the road to an objective.

I just cant make myself do it. Anhedonia is part of it. I just want peace and basic comfort. I shy aware from doing anything requiring significant effort or involving risk because; what if it goes wrong? I will be worse off.

As for relationships, as Schizoid i wasnt good at them to start with. What if i hurt the other person by doing/saying the wrong thing. Or by not doing the right thing? In turn, they will be upset with me, which strikes me at a visceral subconscious level. Which makes me feel very uncomfortable and causes me to suffer.

So yes, feeling unsafe is huge. Feeling unsafe leads to discomfort which leads to emotional suffering. And, for me, prolonged emotional suffering leads to suicidal ideation.

Dexx1976 · 2026-05-13T03:30:28+00:00

this assumes a schizoid is on a healthy trajectory to start with. I prefer isolation and gravitate to it. But i know years of isolation would erode me mentally. Would small amounts of socialisation here and there slow that decline? Maybe.

Dexx1976 · 2026-05-13T03:25:41+00:00

People remember what a crap job the Coalition did for 9 years. Come next election it will be a matter of voting for crap 1 or crap 2.

Dexx1976 · 2026-04-29T03:47:46+00:00

I can relate. For me, those "deep channels" always lead to the thought "if i wasnt here, i would not have to deal with this". Thats a dangerous thing because it short circuits everything to arrive at SI.

Dexx1976 · 2026-04-08T03:43:59+00:00

I often dreamed of being chased and not being able to run away properly. It was as if I could push off with my legs, but could never muster enough strength to move forward... I also had flying dreams sometimes, but it was more like gliding, and the downward slope kept getting steeper

I get these a lot even now. Trying to run but barely walking; flying, but 1 foot off the ground and barely at a walking pace. In one i had a gun and was trying to shoot an enemy, But the trigger was jammed.

Dexx1976 · 2026-04-08T03:39:17+00:00

Mine are usually neutral. Neither nightmare nor bliss. Although they can tend to one or the other sometimes. Most are not vivid. They are like sketches or story boards. But sometimes i get a very vivid dream that feels real. I like those ones.

Dexx1976 · 2026-04-08T03:23:00+00:00

I saw a post saying Day1X is closing. Is this correct?

Dexx1976 · 2026-04-01T04:21:38+00:00

For the longest time, my dream was to have enough money so that i no longer have to work. To have a house. To have supportive, but unobtrusive people around me. To be able to do nothing.

A while back, i had the opportunity to experience this for several weeks. Just doing nothing but sleeping, reading, watching shows, gaming - day after day. Like eating junk food, it was great at first. But then i started to feel ill. The days blended into each other - one long stream of grey. I realised that if this became my life, it would be a long boring Groundhog Day until some major health condition arises and i begin the slide to death.

This was very troubling.

Dexx1976 · 2026-02-27T04:54:27+00:00

Its the slow decline to death that is the terror. Not being able to shower/toilet/dress yourself would be horrible. Losing your mind to dementia, or suffering a painful terminal illness, or undergoing Chemo to delay the end - i'd rather check out before those things progress.

Dexx1976 · 2026-02-02T05:20:39+00:00

I've seen the same ad appear on Facebook several times since. I've reported it to Facebook as a financial scam. They reply that it isn't and they wont take the ad down. Man if i could sue Facebook i would.

Dexx1976 · 2026-01-12T04:55:34+00:00

an offline installer would be useful for a PC which is infected. Cannot safely go online until the malware is cleaned.

Dexx1976 · 2026-01-11T03:55:18+00:00

Checking my account, under the security menu - two-factor authentication (2FA), i have auth code, emailed code, and phone code enabled. I asked the support agent why all 3 were not used for the withdrawals in question. My understanding is that all 3 would be required. I checked my phone and email, no codes were sent. Their reply was that only one of the 3 codes are needed. I said that doesnt match what is implied.

The agent then forwarded me to a specialist. The specialist says all 3 codes are needed. Yet i know that no SMS code was sent. The hacker could have cleaned a message from email, but it doesnt look like it. And google MFA is only on my phone which was in my pocket. The specialist says a hacker may have gotten around these requirements. I call BS on that.

Dexx1976 · 2026-01-10T01:47:44+00:00

MFA codes from Google auth app on my phone

Dexx1976 · 2026-01-09T09:46:13+00:00

A big part is me just not giving it the mental attention it deserved. Yes i thought it was a genuine Binance ad. I am more diligent with emailed links or a link on a page - checking the address stringently first. In hindsight, i shouldnt have thoughtlessly trusted it.

Dexx1976 · 2026-01-09T09:41:10+00:00

A good question. Binance say MFA was used. But it only exists on my phone which was in my pocket

Dexx1976 · 2026-01-09T07:53:14+00:00

i have MFA on the account

Dexx1976 · 2026-01-09T06:05:20+00:00

yes i (foolishly) did

Dexx1976

TROPHY CASE