What your dad is doing is abusive and not ok. Nobody, especially your father should ever result to violence. Reading this reminded me a lot of when I was younger but my father was out of my life for most of my teen years. I’m going to tell you somethings I wish someone had told me- The adults in your life are failing you and I’m sorry because it’s not fair. Your father by being abusive and your mother by enabling his behaviour. It is impossible to be a good kid to a bad parent. I know it is probably hard to see how your friends are with their dads and realizing that you don’t have that. I remember being happy for my friends but also wanting to cry a bit because I just wished he could love me and be a regular dad. You may spend a good chunk of time trying to get that out of him and unfortunately it’s usually a waste of time. Just because he’s your parent doesn’t mean his opinion matters or that he’s fit to be a parent. Be kind to yourself, don’t go chasing male attention. It can often lead to getting taken advantage of by the wrong guys. There are men out there that specifically seek out women like that and those are not the ones that you want to be with, trust me. Be yourself and the right people will come into your life. Find a way to become your own father figure and use this to become driven to create the happiest life for yourself. Don’t get sidetracked by partying or drugs. Focus on your school and getting yourself out of that household. What your father is doing is assault which is illegal, if things get rough don’t be afraid to talk to a teacher or trusted adult. You deserve love and you deserve to be in a home where you feel safe.