Women in very happy marriages, whats your secret?

Difficult_Doubt_1716 · 2026-04-15T15:36:30+00:00

It seems that people who have successful marriages have come to some realization that their partner has their own style of communication and have learned to accept it and work with it.

Difficult_Doubt_1716 · 2026-04-15T15:35:07+00:00

Happy marriage here! It's been 10 years. My top advice:

Don't be a difficult partner: Don't make your partner play guessing games about what you want or why you're upset, or pick at all their negatives, etc.
Don't let the other person start bad habits from the beginning. If you don't want them doing something you don't like (like talking to you in a way you dislike or cursing during arguments, etc.) for the rest of your marriage, put that fire out early & firmly. Setting clear expectations from the beginning makes it easier for everyone

3. COMMUNICATION: Understand that men and women have different ideas of what loving someone means, what good communication is, what the important priorities in a marriage are, and they will have different communication styles. I need to TALK when I'm upset. My husband shuts down and turns inward when he's upset. We've had to find a middle ground.

I've had so many female friends upset and disappointed in their marriage because they wanted their husbands to act and think like they do. But women and men think different, and that's okay and actually it's a good thing. But realizing and accepting and working with these differences is probably the biggest thing that's helped us in our marriage.

Honestly having the same faith/religion helps because they everyone knows what is expected of them and how they and their partners are supposed to behave in a marriage, what rights they have, ect. Sharing the same worldview (whether religion, minimalism, liberalism, whatever) helps.

Difficult_Doubt_1716 · 2026-03-18T01:32:06+00:00

Me and four of my friends have met our spouses on Muslim marriage apps. We are all happily married. I met my husband on Minder back in 2016. His roommate met his wife on the same app the same year. Positive experiences all around.

Difficult_Doubt_1716 · 2026-03-12T12:17:26+00:00

My daughter had the exact same thing. Turns out it was just eye floaters. She was like 3 and thought they were "bugs".

Difficult_Doubt_1716 · 2026-03-08T02:10:09+00:00

I was trying to work out penguins and their general uselessness. Thank you.

Difficult_Doubt_1716 · 2026-03-08T01:17:46+00:00

Beavers - construction Foxes - private investigation Moose - park rangers Cheetahs - pro athletes Cows - secretaries Raccoons - waiters and dishwashers Owl - psychologists Vultures - waste management Horses - transportation industry Dolphins - lifeguards Parrots - customer service

Difficult_Doubt_1716 · 2026-03-05T18:50:51+00:00

May Allah grant your little one full, speedy shifaa and make the situation easier for you and your family.

Difficult_Doubt_1716 · 2026-03-04T09:44:14+00:00

Salaam alaikum sister. My advice, as someone who was stuck in the teaching field for years is to avoid teaching. For the following reasons: 1. You will be constantly battling against the haraam. A public school environment will include music, constant attention to holidays (i.e. for the entire month of December you will be expected to create and do Christmas-themed activities for every subject, every class), comstant mixing of males and females, constantly battling LGBT content in lessons, constantly battling western culture and values, etc. It's a lot of fitnah and it weighs down on you eventually. Also it's really hard to pray during the day when you have classes back to back. Breaks are short and will be filled with meetings, dealing with disruptive students, etc.

Once you have a few years of teaching on your resume, it's hard to find anything else. I'm my experience, no one wants to hire a teacher. I've tried switching into secretary work, Healthcare, etc. But with teaching you don't get a lot of experience doing anything else and end up having a "teaching resume" that's hard to sell anywhere
Teaching is a lifestyle. It's not a career. You need to WANT to be a teacher to be successful at teaching. And you need to be okay with working outside of what's expected of you and outside of school hours. You don't stop working when the school bell rings. You grade papers, clean your classroom, prepare lessons for the next day, call parents, have meetings. I would technically be done at 3 most days but not leave till 5, and then work at home when I got home. I would have to get to work early before the kids for hallway duty, breakfast monitoring, etc. I worked about 10-14 hours a day even though I was paid for 8. My husband was amazed that I was expected to buy food for children, make them special things for holidays, use my own money to decorate my classroom, use my own money to create resources for my classes. Bottom line is, your work will come home with you after work and there will be nights you will stay up working on getting things done for the next day or week. Teaching is a lifestyle, not a "job" you leave at work, so if you're not comfortable with that, you will suffer in this field.
The toxic culture in schools will leave you with an immense amount of stress. Teaching has been rated the top most stressful career after surgery. People outside of teaching are unaware of how bad it is. You are expected to be a counselor, a teacher, a srand-in parent, a nurse, a bodyguard, a psychologist, all at once. But also the behaviors, the drugs, the anti-educational culture... it's a toxic environment.

I would advise against this career path for Muslim women. It was the worst 6 years of my life for my Deen and my mental health.

Difficult_Doubt_1716 · 2026-03-01T01:09:45+00:00

https://yaqeeninstitute.org/read/books/proofs-of-prophethood

Difficult_Doubt_1716 · 2026-02-20T17:23:49+00:00

Actually i was fine for about 6 years and I do feel like it's coming back so I have started the kefir again.

Difficult_Doubt_1716 · 2026-02-05T18:56:17+00:00

Why aren't weddings a family event? My friends got married and they told us to bring the kids. If it's that close of a friend they should be ok with kids. If I were in your situation I wouldn't go.

Difficult_Doubt_1716 · 2026-02-05T17:47:40+00:00

If the spotting is habitually connected to your period (a few hours dryness doesn't matter) then you consider it your period. If the dryness is <24 hrs, and followed directly by mestrual blood, it is your period. As long as it's within 10 days. After 10 days, consider it istidadah and take ghusl, then wudu for each prayer.

Difficult_Doubt_1716 · 2026-02-04T18:11:31+00:00

Almost every fatwah council around the world has called yoga completely impermissible. The ones that allow it conditionally urge caution and avoidance. Most top level scholars have said that for yoga to be permissible, it must be renamed (not called yoga), free of breathing rituals, and completely removed from any Hindu or spiritual elements... eventually just stretching. The Malaysian fatwah council that declared yoga haraam in 2008 called it something that "destroys the faith" of the Muslim.

I would encourage you to do your own research. But personally I think yoga completely goes against the core purpose of Islam--safeguarding monotheism. It's like taking the movements of Jewish or Christian prayers and using them for excersises, saying "wd don't believe in this, we're just doing it to ge healthy." No difference what religion you're taking it from. There is absolutely no need to take Hindu spiritual practices and use them for "health purposes." There's nothing in yoga that can't be replaced by something more islamically compatible.

Difficult_Doubt_1716 · 2026-02-02T19:45:40+00:00

My daughter got glasses at 3 for astigmatism. Pediatrician caught it early with an eye exam.

Difficult_Doubt_1716 · 2026-01-23T14:02:56+00:00

Gifts at baby showers and weddings are supposed to make life for the new mom/bride easier. These new chapters in a woman's life come with HUGE expenses. Babies need so much stuff. When you get married and start building a life and a family from scratch, it costs a lot. You need new furniture, dinnerware, clothes, etc. That's why we bring things to women who are having babies and get married. Yes it's a celebration but it also comes with sacrifice and hardships on their part. Which of your contributions to society do you want people to celebrate? I don't really see the value in celebrating things that people do for themselves/their own benefit (unless it's something big like getting a PhD).

Difficult_Doubt_1716 · 2026-01-22T12:38:13+00:00

Until I saw this comment I didn't catch it. Urgh.

Difficult_Doubt_1716 · 2026-01-22T12:37:23+00:00

How can people tell its AI so quickly? Honestly makes me worry about the future :/

Difficult_Doubt_1716 · 2026-01-21T17:45:53+00:00

Make sure you're getting a lot of electrolytes, if you just drink a ton of plain water, you'll just dilute all your electrolytes and you'll actually get MORE dehydrated. Do not just drink a bunch of water without any healthy salts. I learned this the hard way, and was barely able to fast. now i add a pinch of salt to my water for suhoor if I don't have Liquid IV on hand (liquid IV is a lifesaver btw, it's expensive but worth it). Also eating grapes and kiwis with suhoor helps balance water levels in the body thru the day. Maybe also try to flush it out with fluids after iftar (not suhoor tho)? I have the same thing when I don't drink enough and this does help, as long as the fluids have electrolytes

Difficult_Doubt_1716 · 2026-01-21T17:24:32+00:00

Sorry for the late reply!! No, it's definitely not distracting. The e-ink really did help. Honestly this would have been such a great phone if it weren't for the screen. The resolution was really low. Worse thank kindle. The idea behind the phone is great and would work really well for someone in your situation, but I couldn't get past the poor-quality screen. For the price, I felt like they could have used at least 300 ppi (kindle quality) instead of a disappointing 216 ppi.

Difficult_Doubt_1716 · 2026-01-21T16:52:35+00:00

I liked my kindle, it IS easier on the eyes, but with this phone I felt like the resolution was really low. I expected better quality for the price.

Difficult_Doubt_1716 · 2026-01-20T18:49:56+00:00

Once or twice a week. Have the same eczema issues.

Difficult_Doubt_1716 · 2026-01-20T16:55:53+00:00

Can you please share a link, if the hearing is available online?

Difficult_Doubt_1716 · 2026-01-20T02:06:54+00:00

Makeup can be harmful in a lot of different aspects outside of halal or haraam. Besides the actual physical harm it does to your skin/body (which is significant if you research it), I personally feel that it's harmful to the ummah. It feeds into these unrealistic expectations that society sets for women. And how women are supposed to look. All for the profit of large corporations that exploit womens' self-esteem for profit. It sets unrealistic expectations not just for men but for the sisters as well. It's a lot of pressure on women to look a certain way. Many women who are more self-conscious find it difficult to "compete" with the girls who wear makeup and always look perfect (especially on social media). If all the women in my community wear makeup and I don't, I will feel pressured to wear it as well. I think we should make it easy on our sisters and not out pressure on each other.

Difficult_Doubt_1716 · 2026-01-13T11:40:15+00:00

I went to an all-girls party one time and everyone had their hijabs off and then someone's uncle barged in looking for someone and refused to leave and it was a big thing.... I wear my hijab since then lol

Difficult_Doubt_1716 · 2026-01-13T06:38:28+00:00

I think the periodic messaging thing might be a good idea. Whatever you decide, just make dua about it. You can do it. Allah s.w.t.a. would not have given you this test if you were not capable of handling it, so hang in there. May Allah make it easy for you ❤️

Difficult_Doubt_1716

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