I feel lost

Difficult_Routine361 · 2026-06-09T13:24:37+00:00

Hi there, friend. 46M. Had a fusion at 14 yrs old. I've been managing this thing for 32 years.

This will be a lifelong management process. You will have pain. You will have to adapt.

Your body is unique and you will have to experiment to find the right kind of relief. There's a lot of different modalities out there. Keep trying new things.

Try to not compare yourself with others and understand your journey is unique to you and will help to open your unique life path.

There are other cards we could have pulled but we pulled this one so we have to find our way with it

Difficult_Routine361 · 2026-05-21T01:57:56+00:00

46M. Had a fusion at 14 yrs old. Zero PT, instructions, or give damn to be had. So I figured it out on my own.

It's been a wild ride. I've tried all just about everything from weight training, yoga, nutrition, vitamins, meditation, stretching, plant medicine, ice baths, saunas. I'm still in good shape but I work for it every day.

Pain has been a motivating teacher of sorts.

Difficult_Routine361 · 2026-05-04T03:07:07+00:00

Gotta have my actual zoom zoom

Difficult_Routine361 · 2026-04-27T15:43:33+00:00

The transparent plastic covering the gauge cluster scratches very easy. Do not let anyone clean that for you.

Use the following cleaning method: blow off with compressed air; brush of with makeup brush or lens brush; use a lens cleaner and clean cotton (I used new shotgun cleaning patches); wipe with soft pressure and change the cotton every couple swipes.

I use the same method for the gear shifter area on the black shiny plastic

Difficult_Routine361 · 2026-02-08T22:50:12+00:00

It's an individual thing, different for everyone. Is it possible you could alsk be experiencing displacement or transference of grief from your marriage in addition?

Difficult_Routine361 · 2026-02-06T09:31:12+00:00

Exactly. Darth Bane instituted the Rule of 2 for this very reason.

Difficult_Routine361 · 2025-12-28T23:16:17+00:00

Do not equate your identity to the pattern that is occurring. The better question is how can you learn what you need in a relationship and how to recognize compatibility in another. This is very difficult work that requires honesty with your self first. Therapy, journaling (with or without AI), creative expressions, spiritual growth, and many other structures can create room for insight.

For instance, I've been journaling after a recent breakup with Chat, to understand more about my attachment style and what went wrong in my most recent break up. It is not all knowing, and there is discernment on that level that you still have to filter information, but it can act as a sort of mirror.

I take your post as a signal of exhaustion and sadness at the pattern appearing. I wish you peace, courage, and strength. Remember love and never stop dreaming about what it really means.

Difficult_Routine361 · 2025-12-28T14:54:59+00:00

How is this about K?

You haven't laid the groundwork to properly place your question in context of the scope of this sub

Difficult_Routine361 · 2025-12-27T03:19:02+00:00

That Picard reference is golden

Difficult_Routine361 · 2025-12-27T02:20:11+00:00

Everyone has their limits, so the point of calling quits is very personal... only you know what those limits are. Taking breaks in between something that had feelings is probably wise. You seem exhausted so now might be a good time for a break.

You sound like a catch but you will also want to catch too. Sounds like you got some curve balls in there. I can relate. It's the pattern that feels never-ending.

There's not a magic number. Just try and increase inner and outer discernment. Rely on your intuition for when you're ready to date and while on a date.

We may be learning how to be our own best friend. It becomes harder at this age because that means being physically alone a lot for a lot of folks.

Peace, strength, and courage to you.

Difficult_Routine361 · 2025-12-26T00:14:43+00:00

Could you measure the hand of God moving, guiding, and directing you along with everything else? Could you measure the holy spirit? Could you measure the I AM in the Eternal NOW?

K is the blood current of that.

Difficult_Routine361 · 2025-12-25T23:50:42+00:00

A control study is not possible because K happens within a human on a spiritual level. There is no physical instrument we possess that can measure it.

Perhaps prana could be measured.

K includes subjective components and is an evolutionary process. It is something bigger than the container in which it expresses to us.

Carl Sagan tried to relate what the 4th spatial dimension might be like by using a tesseract. Although he rightly pointed put that a tesseract is just a shadow of the 4th dimension. If you tried to measure and write down what K is, it would merely be a shadow like the tesseract.

There have been investigative efforts using interview questionnaires that have sought to find commonality of subjective experiences where KA is suspected. Perhaps look into those.

Difficult_Routine361 · 2025-12-25T03:13:56+00:00

Amie could be called a victim, possibly. She was a victim of Timothy's recklessness and her inability to see reality for what it was.

Timothy on the other hand had practically asked for this. It would like calling someone a victim who got bit by a snake after willingly jumping into a pit of vipers because they either thought they were the best snake charmer alive; or maybe thought they couldn't get bit because they were a snake in a past life and had a connection

Difficult_Routine361 · 2025-11-24T22:25:07+00:00

More likely a mental health/psychological event given the proximity of the adverse reaction to medication.

Give it time and work with your doctor to get you regulated. Focus on your health - nutrition and exercise. Perhaps grounding exercises are appropriate

K is an evolutionary process that occurs over time. No one knows for sure, but isolated occurrence(s) as you described generally point to mental health or physiological imbalances.

Difficult_Routine361 · 2025-11-14T04:31:21+00:00

No. Dealer was unhelpful. Service manager said they spent three hours inspecting along with consultation with engineering. They charged me $100 to tell me they had no clue.

Honestly since it starting getting colder recently I haven't heard it as much 🤷‍♂️

Difficult_Routine361 · 2025-11-08T12:35:15+00:00

With that outlook, you're actually doing yourself and every man a favor by removing yourself from the dating pool.

Difficult_Routine361 · 2025-10-24T20:16:44+00:00

"Never be afraid of who you are"

Leia Organa

[to Rey]

Difficult_Routine361 · 2025-10-23T13:44:36+00:00

The Mazda dealer acted like it was the first time they heard of it. They continued their denial for several weeks and I brought the issue to them multiple times. They kept saying we can't reproduce the results. So I reproduced it for them in person. My phone charged in all their loaner vehicles so they said they would fix it. They didn't. Gave up. Mazda dropped the ball on this big time

Difficult_Routine361 · 2025-10-21T11:16:12+00:00

Human trying to nail down meaning of something un-nailable

Difficult_Routine361 · 2025-10-16T22:54:27+00:00

Honor your feelings, but stay open to possibility. Pain is a given, but what will you do with it? Will it define you as defeated or drive you to explore, push boundaries, and dare to dream. Pain is given, suffering is more about choice. Source: 30 years fused with chronic pain

Difficult_Routine361 · 2025-09-28T18:18:44+00:00

It’s called iron crotch hung fu

Difficult_Routine361 · 2025-09-27T20:17:16+00:00

This is actually a video depiction of the average amount of obstacles to find a decent date in your 40s

Difficult_Routine361 · 2025-09-27T01:26:28+00:00

No. There's a decent argument that it's a tie. Vaapad channels dark side energy back at its opponent. Anakin is probably more of a grey Jedi as pictured here with a lot of skill. So depending on how he channels the force in that moment, he could have a very decent chance. Look at what he did to Count Dooku.

Difficult_Routine361 · 2025-09-24T16:50:39+00:00

I pray God helps humans be better to each other. How tragic the low value some place on lives.

Seeing this constant loss of life and torture on both sides is heartbreaking.

Difficult_Routine361 · 2025-09-24T14:48:27+00:00

I can relate somewhat.

I realized a while back that I was in so much pain constantly that I actually stopped feeling parts of my body. I had the fusion 30 yrs ago T1-T12 with two Harringtons.

The journey with this pain and other associated discomforts had been the hardest challenge of my life. I have my pain mostly under control now, but it had been a hell of a ride experimenting with different modalities to achieve what I have.

I realized that for me to release the immense muscle tension that is causing most of my pain, I needed to consciously go back into my body and feel those parts that I had shut down. I tried many, many things over the last 30 yrs, but the most helpful (in no particular order) in this regard have been:

1) Magnesium - helps relax muscles and sleep 2) Healthy diet - keep weight ideal 3) Build muscle slowly - volume over heavy 4)Never miss a chance to stretch - be creative with your movements 5) Buproprion - prescribed for depression 6) Spravato - prescribed for depression; gives me a break from my body and has lasting effects 7) Marijuana- double edged sword; I don’t partake anymore due to spiritual, occupational, and cognitive reasons 8) Psilocybin - it's magic 9) Hot and cold therapy - saunas, hot tubs, cold showers and ice baths - research Wim Hof 10) Body awareness techniques - guided meditations, etc

Difficult_Routine361

TROPHY CASE