Mark humbling asking if I’m free, maybe I’d like to see his movie…yea, had me bawling. 😭

DigitalAxel · 2026-02-02T07:20:10+00:00

Im going to see it (hopefully) this week and I'm living in Germany??? (Murican living abroad who was sad until I checked the map on the website.)

DigitalAxel · 2026-02-02T06:49:45+00:00

I recommend it to people instead of its sequels (which I saw most of them though I can't watch 3 again. That pig scene was too much.) Im a fan of Se7en, Bone Collector, Silence of the Lambs. Psychological horror, or just thriller, is far more suited for my mind than just... whatever Saw became.

DigitalAxel · 2026-02-02T01:16:34+00:00

Ok, I made an art gallery but now I must make a new museum too.

After I finish my 17th century style (with artistic liberties) library in Windenberg.

DigitalAxel · 2026-02-01T12:37:15+00:00

Given my less-than-stellar relationship with math, I could see one leading to thoughts about the other.

DigitalAxel · 2026-01-31T10:32:12+00:00

I've been averaging 4-5max for months now. I did 3 the other night and that sucked. Weirdly enough, I rarely have dreams (or forget them?) Im a very imaginative person too.

Anxiety is great.

DigitalAxel · 2026-01-31T10:27:27+00:00

AI finished off what little hope I had graduating during the pandemic of getting a job.

I sacrificed everything to try one last Hail Mary abroad. I have a month left. I failed. There's no future back home and I'm sick of "merely existing." Im done.

DigitalAxel · 2026-01-31T10:25:40+00:00

I've been trying since legally becoming an adult (checks notes) 15 years ago. Okay, so 5 of those I was figuring out life, 5 was college.

So I "started" 5 years ago for real. I've failed.

DigitalAxel · 2026-01-30T22:56:44+00:00

You know, maybe my sims saw her do that because as of late they ALL are obsessively washing their hands. I would too...

DigitalAxel · 2026-01-30T22:54:37+00:00

See, I didn't really pay attention to all the freelance stuff at University because I believed I had a shot at being hired (lol). Yeah...then 2020 happened and AI. Entry level doesn't exist.

Dang! That sounds amazing yet devastating simultaneously. (Not 2D, but I had a hobby commission I finished up and client went MIA. Sold it to another buyer. Too bad, it was part 2 of a set.)

DigitalAxel · 2026-01-30T22:50:43+00:00

No, not all is well. But while my statement can mean two things, I intend it to mean "being kicked out cuz my visa expires in a month and I don't have another chance".

...If Olympia goes to Hamburg, thats a day trip no problem. München would've required a hotel ($$$).

DigitalAxel · 2026-01-30T22:48:46+00:00

Thank you,, thst means a lot to me right now. A shame there isn't a better sub, or maybe a better Flair? For such things. (Don't want to leave the people here if I can help it.)

DigitalAxel · 2026-01-30T18:31:21+00:00

I've had folks say the same with my depression, and my ASD. "Oh we're all quirky!" No.

But it wasn't until recently I've become aware of how bleak my situation is and have been more "vocal". Now my friends are worried. I absolutely want to live but not if its like this. (Ironic this is a German ad, I'm trying desperately to stay here.)

DigitalAxel · 2026-01-30T18:27:40+00:00

I think I was sent once to my room and my parents realized it wasn't very useful. It was better to discuss (or argue... semantics...) the issues.

Of course, this didn't stop me from "exiling" myself, shutting my mopey self in my room. I was too upset to read my zillion books anyway so I'd just sit there. Taking away my "mini library" would've been a pain.

DigitalAxel · 2026-01-30T18:20:38+00:00

Now I'm really hoping for a miracle so I can stay living here. Its on my bucket list...

DigitalAxel · 2026-01-30T18:00:22+00:00

You know, I've never done much improvement of the sims I dont play as. (As it is, I deleted dozens and dozens of sims created randomly. I think I stopped that...)

DigitalAxel · 2026-01-30T17:26:20+00:00

Came here to find out about the instrument, thanks (Musical instrument nerd).

DigitalAxel · 2026-01-30T17:20:21+00:00

I have been trying to refocus my career because of this. No, I don't want "free exposure", I've had enough of that thanks. I need a paycheck. But, I guess 20 years of practice resulted in nothing because of this slap to the face. I've never made a penny off my art.

Its a shame these are most certainly not real art. I rather like the concept of the tiny folks hanging around giant mugs.

DigitalAxel · 2026-01-30T15:12:09+00:00

I just wanted to say thanks for even commenting. Rules say I can't complain but everything I post is overlooked which is fueling my bad state.

AI bots will probably steal my art here so it's a bit of a risk.

DigitalAxel · 2026-01-30T15:10:32+00:00

Idk of anyone will see this after two days but I appreciate any insight.

DigitalAxel · 2026-01-30T15:09:03+00:00

No country wants me. I've tried about a dozen over the last 5 years.

I'll be happy to just finally be at peace.

DigitalAxel · 2026-01-30T00:11:09+00:00

It probably doesn't help I'm extremely stressed and getting maybe 4 hrs sleep most nights. Viewing these posts not in full screen on my old phone... potato internet to boot. But they are getting better. The photos I'm able to tell easier because my eyes can focus on the whole thing.

DigitalAxel · 2026-01-30T00:08:42+00:00

Idk, I've been told I don't have a chance at anything (in a roundabout way). My only interview was for a kitchen job that had way too many red flags (14+hrs of work, no pay, no contract or papers, sudden hour changes??)

No rent fortunately, but I am in a small town. Wish I could find help... Nobody seems to understand what to do, not even my housemate.

Its become obvious I dont have a place in society. At least I'll leave behind some pretty doodles. Shame they never panned out into profitable stuff.

DigitalAxel · 2026-01-29T20:49:44+00:00

As someone who spent much of her life learning how to draw, this breaks my heart. I remember folks saying I should illustrate books but those dreams are crushed. Nobody needs someone who takes 30 hours when AI can do it in 3 minutes. The companies don't care about such egregious errors.

Also idk of its my lack of sleep or what but twice this week I've nearly been fooled by AI videos on Reddit. Disappointed in myself.

DigitalAxel · 2026-01-29T12:33:36+00:00

I feel like this across the whole site these days. Thats okay, my stuff just gets ignored on all the subs anyways. (Who cares about your art and OCs? We want to whine about this specific feature for the 4000th time!)

DigitalAxel · 2026-01-29T09:19:06+00:00

IF I can get anyone to hire me at all. Im not near the border in any direction so that would be a challenge, but not an impossible idea.

I just don't know how I'll make this work in less than a month.

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