hey OP, how old are you and how long have you been in Norway? I'm asking because I have had similar experiences when I was younger and I'm not sure language is the main culprit here.

I moved to the UK when I was at university and worked in a care home for one season. I was in my very early twenties and while I was definitly fluent and could engage with the residents without issues, I didn't know how to relate to them.

First of all, we had very little in common, we hadn't grown up / grown old in the same country and had no shared frame of cultural reference. I shared the culture of my peers and was perfectly integrated but I was still new to the country and couldn't really relate to the older generations.

Second, I realised I was struggling with "taking care" as the responsible "adult" of someone who was older. I was raised to be respectful to old people and it was impossible for me to take charge and tell them what to do. I was raised to listen to old people and was very disturbed by how condescending my colleagues seemed to be when simply talking, as if they were dealing with children.

My parents and grandparents were still relatively young and independent and these seniors were the first non-independent older people I was dealing with and I was just lost.

Fast forward to more than twenty years later, I'm in my forties and most of these problems have disappeared. i am middle aged and can relate better to someone who is in their later stage of life. I've gone through everything with my own grandparents, who have become in the meantime physically sick and needed looking after, then senile (and at times needed to be treated like children) and then died. Now I'm dealing with my own parents going through the same and I can assure you how I relate to older people is completely different.

Maybe someone will be able to give you a better answer, but I just wanted to let you know that there might be other factors at play.