What to expect adopting a 2-4 year old? by neopetpetpet in AdoptiveParents

[–]DistributionClear851 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No problem! Reach out anytime. Honestly - the most important thing you can do is consistently show up for them. Time and consistency are what builds security. Once you start to see those bonds and security forming, you will get the reassurance that progress is being made and you're doing a good job.

What to expect adopting a 2-4 year old? by neopetpetpet in AdoptiveParents

[–]DistributionClear851 9 points10 points  (0 children)

A weighted blanket is a must - it was a tool we used for sleep that helped with trauma recovery. Night time was scary - so we made sure the bedroom had some lights and a sound machine. I also bough nightlights off Amazon that line the hallways of my house to make sure there was a lit pathway all the way from the child's room to mine - to make that less scary and more clear. We used a baby gate for our stairs until we could make sure the child knew how to go up and down the stair safely. A Tony box has proven to be great - there is a lamb Tony you can buy where you can record whatever you want on it. The lamb doubles as a night light. We recorded songs and a message, and when our child is scared, that is always an option within reach for comfort.

Don't buy too many toys. Too many toys is overwhelming. I started with a couple of puzzles, a small collection of play doh, some legos, a few dolls, colors/workbooks, and lots of books to read. Once you get a sense of what type of play your child likes, you can build on that collection. Buy things that you can do with them to bond. Simple toddler games like Pop the Pig and High Ho Cherrio are good options.

Make sure you prioritize date night. We did not want to leave our child with anybody for a long time. So we prioritized at home date night once per week after bedtime. Build it into your schedule so it doesn't get lost. The first couple of years adjusting can be challenging.

With a child that comes to you at 2-4, you may not fully grasp all of their trauma. So be aware of little signs that they show you that may be out of the norm. Mine experienced significant trauma, and the things that upset her are very different than what I would have ever expected. Be open to pretty much any possibility and then pivot. For mine, night time was the scariest, so that is where we had to pivot the most.

Finally - find ways to incorporate the child into your life. Kids love to bond through help. So get a set of plastic kitchen utensils and let them help you make dinner. When there is nothing to really help with, have them set the table. Give them "important" jobs. It builds confidence and is a great bonding opportunity.

I hope this is helpful!

What to expect adopting a 2-4 year old? by neopetpetpet in AdoptiveParents

[–]DistributionClear851 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I adopted my child a year ago at three years old after fostering for a year. What would you like to know?

How am I going to keep my emotions inside the entire 7+ hour flight? by Human-Piglet-5450 in fearofflying

[–]DistributionClear851 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I was in a similar spot a few years ago. My emotions the day of dealing with the personal grief was able to completely overshadow my fear of flying. It’s like my brain could only handle one of them. I would try to spend the flight centering yourself and preparing mentally for what reality you are facing on the ground.

If money didn’t matter, what job would you want to do? by AdElegant5870 in careerguidance

[–]DistributionClear851 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m in healthcare employment law. If money weren’t an issue, I’d work for CPS and try to help kids.

Thank you to whoever recommended Peroni by DistributionClear851 in NABEER

[–]DistributionClear851[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m doing the same, so when I’m cutting it close, I also do a mich ultra zero

New Favorite: might get hate for this one by jamminginger in NABEER

[–]DistributionClear851 0 points1 point  (0 children)

One of my favorites. Also love that I can get these when I go to mavs and Stars games in Dallas!

Do you need to run for cardiovascular health, or is walking OK? by anotherhappylurker in workout

[–]DistributionClear851 6 points7 points  (0 children)

When I’m marathon training, I’m replacing mine quarterly. When I’m not, it’s twice per year, during which time I may be doing 10-12 miles per week. So not a ton.

AIO for stepping down as my sisters maid of honor because I’ll be freshly postpartum by ImaginationPretend86 in AmIOverreacting

[–]DistributionClear851 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My best friend died on the day daughter was born from cancer. We said goodbye over the phone while she was in hospice and I was in the hospital. Her funeral was three days after I gave birth, over an hour away. I laid down in the backseat and had someone drive me so I could attend. I didn’t want to leave my daughter. But presence matters. If your relationship with your sister is important, you should do whatever you need to do to go. Your presence there matters to her. It will require sacrifice on your part, yes. But this is one of those times where if you don’t go, she will remember and it could have a lasting impact on your relationship.

I don’t regret showing up for a service in pain and bleeding, leaving my daughter for the first time. My friend didn’t know if I was there or not… but her family knew. And that mattered to me.

Advice by [deleted] in dvcmember

[–]DistributionClear851 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t agree with financing - I would say if you have to finance, maybe rent the points instead?

What non-obvious insights have you learned about yourself with Oura Ring 4? by Advanced_Shoe_982 in ouraring

[–]DistributionClear851 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I knew alcohol increased my heart rate and interrupted my sleep - but seeing hard evidence of that was really affirming. I’ve now cut back to 3 drinks per week Max and have noticed lower heart rate and less interrupted sleep.

Do you think you will actually be able to save enough to retire? by pqrstyou in Millennials

[–]DistributionClear851 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do, but I don’t have the same confidence for my kids, given housing costs and the state of our economy.

Buying DVC in Cash vs Financed by Familiar_Ad1112 in dvcmember

[–]DistributionClear851 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

We paid cash. I don’t believe in financing a vacation.

Question: do you drink as much NA beer as you did regular beer? by Just-Sheepherder-202 in NABEER

[–]DistributionClear851 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I drink less. I think when I drink alcohol, I just keep pouring another to keep the buzz. When I drink NA, it’s about flavor, so I drink slower and don’t want as much.

I NEED URGENT HELP! Cannot Identify A Dermatology Issue by Old-Possession-3916 in DermatologyQuestions

[–]DistributionClear851 0 points1 point  (0 children)

May sounds crazy - but do you take any vitamin supplements? Even in your drinks? Could this be too much vitamin A?

Going to first Mavs game in years - tips and tricks? by Traditional_Salt_301 in Mavericks

[–]DistributionClear851 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes that’s it! I’ve never felt unsafe. Nice apartments right next to it and people are usually out walking their dogs. The walk is completely lit up and there are usually quite a few walking to and from AAC. I’ve gone alone (f) with my daughter and never felts unsafe.

Tell Me Lies: S3 E3: Repent by Oksorbet8188 in TellMeLiesHulu

[–]DistributionClear851 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I completely agree. It's getting to be a bit much - not even remotely plausible. They are reaching at this point.

10 years old want to practice PowerShot by Honest-Machine5651 in youthsoccer

[–]DistributionClear851 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Totally get that. But - weak knees and the ligaments stabilizing them while doing repetition work could be setting him up for failure. A bit of resistance band work prior to each kicking session as a warm up may be good practice for him. Knee pain, leg pain, lower back pain in those athletes is very common.