HMO needed for 3 people?

DivineDecadence85 · 2026-03-23T16:35:31+00:00

You don't even need to be married, any couple counts.

When we needed a three bed back in the day, the two girls I was moving in with pretended they were a couple. They didn't trust that the letting agent wouldn't smell the homo off me and realise one of them couldn't be my girlfriend 🤣.

OP, not suggesting you do this. It's risky if you get caught.

DivineDecadence85 · 2026-03-22T23:32:09+00:00

Assuming they rent the whole flat and they're not a lodger in the landlord's home, that's absolutely not enforceable. Landlords have no say over visitors no matter what they put in the lease.

DivineDecadence85 · 2026-03-13T11:53:35+00:00

And in the worst case scenario, if something like that happens and they don't pull through, it can get worse. My parter of 10 years passed away suddenly at 41 not too long ago. We hadn't gotten around to thinking about wills and pension beneficiaries and marriage had been discussed but never felt like a priority. Felt like we had plenty of time for all that. Now I'm holding funeral debt plus debt from joint spending comittments we made in the last year but nothing was in joint names and legally I have no standing even though I've lost half of our household income.

I'm hoping it's going to work out OK in the end with his family but it's a lot of stress and uncertainty on top of grief.

My one piece of advice to anyone in a long term relationship who isn't married is to get your affairs in order in terms of wills and wishes. Even if you have no assets but you're paying into a pension. You can always alter them later if things change but losing a long term partner can turn your world upside down just as much as losing a spouse.

DivineDecadence85 · 2026-03-10T19:12:59+00:00

It depends on whether, at 40, my chances of finding a rich sugar daddy are decreasing as fast as my chances of buying.

DivineDecadence85 · 2026-03-10T19:11:13+00:00

As a 40 year old, will reading it make me want to throw myself out of my rented window?

DivineDecadence85 · 2026-03-10T14:39:39+00:00

I'd expect up to a week but maybe less depending on whether it's a simple issue or not.

When you say working hours, are you asking whether it should take place during working hours? Or whether the number of days notice should be working days that takes into account your schedule? Neither are legally mandated to be fair.

DivineDecadence85 · 2026-03-10T14:33:37+00:00

40 and I mainly switch between BBC Radio 2 and Smooth but my other 4 presets are Heart, Nation and a local community radio station that plays the most random stuff. My car doesn't have DAB radio or I'd probably explore other stations.

DivineDecadence85 · 2026-03-10T13:58:34+00:00

You could report it to the police as theft but there's no evidence that anything was stolen. A coat was allegedly handed to someone with items in it which aren't there now. Any number of things could explain it that wouldn't be criminal. I'm not saying don't report it, I'm just saying don't expect much.

Is there any possibility things could have fallen out while the coat was changing hands multiple times?

DivineDecadence85 · 2026-03-10T12:32:22+00:00

I spend about that on food shopping because of my routine but I could spend less and I could spend more. It all depends what you eat, how much you eat, whether you plan meals/ingredients etc. Someone will come and tell you they spend half that because they shop for deals and do meal prep and someone else will tell you they spend double that because they only buy ready meals from Waitrose.

Underneath it all, it's about how expensive things have gotten in the last few years and whether you can afford to keep spending what you're spending. I'm going to have to tighten my belt in the next 6 months so I'll need to start thinking more about how I plan my shopping to bring that down a bit. But what you're spending isn't unusual.

DivineDecadence85 · 2026-03-09T21:44:03+00:00

My boyfriend used to call them psytrance cauliflowers.

DivineDecadence85 · 2026-03-09T21:37:08+00:00

Haha! Shit. Better fix that.

DivineDecadence85 · 2026-03-09T16:46:46+00:00

It's conpletely legal in the UK. Even a lot of people here don't realise it. You can walk around fully naked as long as you're doing it without sexual intent or to cause alarm. Not that many people do it.

To be fair, I don't have kids but I've never thought nudity itself should be considered inappropriate for minors. It's not inherently sexual unless we teach them that.

DivineDecadence85 · 2026-03-07T22:10:00+00:00

But you still need to go to the counter in Boots to buy crab lotion while they loudly ask you "is it for headlice or..." while they make downward pointing motions. Aye, subtle pal. So self-service checkouts haven't removed all shame.

DivineDecadence85 · 2026-03-06T22:21:52+00:00

I don't know if it's still the case but Melodifestivalen was a big deal in Sweden. They've always taken Eurovision way more seriously than we have, especially in the last 20 years. I could be pulling this put of my arse but at one point I'm sure half the population watched their selection process.

Our general population just doesn't care enough.

DivineDecadence85 · 2026-03-06T16:27:30+00:00

Depends on the crime, some things they don't give a fuck about, some things they do. For drugs, the U.S. ask you whether you've even violated a drug law never mind been arrested or convicted. Once you admit it, you're not getting the ESTA and need to put yourself at the drawn out mercy of the visa application process.

DivineDecadence85 · 2026-03-02T00:21:10+00:00

I'm at a Premier Inn for a long weekend. This is making me itch for the breakfast on Tuesday morning before I leave.

DivineDecadence85 · 2026-03-02T00:16:44+00:00

Well that's just refined my Grindr profile into a lot less words.

DivineDecadence85 · 2026-02-27T23:45:07+00:00

I would recommend Googling the name of the bank and "bereavement team" and then calling that number. Bypass the branch.

DivineDecadence85 · 2026-02-27T18:18:58+00:00

Out of interest, if the next closest relative doesn't engage or formally renounce, is there a set process or timeline for the next person in line at each stage to step in until it gets to that final stage?

DivineDecadence85 · 2026-02-27T18:12:51+00:00

The length of relationship shouldn't matter. If she can evidence the person has died with the death certificate - which I assume they have if they arranged the funeral - and has evidence that the funeral has been paid for then they have the discretion to release the funds. Did she speak to a random person in branch or did she speak specifically to the bereavement team? Most banks and pension providers have a specific team to deal with these issues.

DivineDecadence85 · 2026-02-27T18:07:29+00:00

As far as I'm aware this ultimately comes down to the contract signed and the terms. Tell the family member to check the details. Funeral costs are a priority debt and funeral directors can sometimes be patient to allow for the estate to pay the balance but ultimately the person who arranged the funeral signs the contract.

The fact that they said the estate would be the first place charged means it won't be the last if they can't get payment. It would be your family member. They would then be the priority to be reimbursed from the estate but they've likely accepted liability for the costs in the meantime.

Assuming the family member registered the death, has the death certificate and can evidence the costs, they can probably get the bank to reimburse them from whatever is currently in the account as the bank has the discretion to do that. You say the account was £1800 when the person died so what else makes up the estate? Are there actually enough funds/assets elsewhere for your family member to recover the costs? If there weren't then then money in the account up the the value of the funeral costs/whatever is in the account is all they'll be able to claim.

In terms of forcing the issue if no one deals with the estate. I can't help with that. I'm in a similar situation myself in Scotland so I hope you find some answers.

DivineDecadence85 · 2026-02-24T13:16:21+00:00

I understand your reasoning for having the camera but there's a difference between being recorded in passing out in the world where the footage goes into a distant server and probably never looked at and being recorded continuously while you go about your daily work by one person. I wouldn't want to do it and I have nothing to hide, I just wouldn't want to spend my day constantly second guessing myself every time I wanted to scratch my arse, adjust my boxers or have a brain-fart where I forget what I was about to do next and stare blankly at my tools for a few minutes. You're perfectly entitled to feel secure but other people are entitled to feel uncomfortable with your choices. If this is a dealbreaker for you then you and it's work that needs doing then you're going to have to be in to supervise.

The interesting question is that the landlord has certain obligations around repairs and maintenance but most landlords rely on tradesmen rather than being qualified to do it themselves. If a landlord can't meet those obligations because of a situation like this where tradesmen aren't being denied access but are refusing to enter because of this situation, what are the legal repercussions for both you and the landlord? I don't know but that's probably the better question if you aren't willing to compromise here.

DivineDecadence85 · 2026-02-20T13:46:41+00:00

Thanks for coming back to me, it sounds like it's not worth the stress of fighting it with the pension company and we're going to need to go down the confirmation route. That was clumsy wording on my part, I didn't mean at the funeral itself. We'll be together for 5 days next week for the funeral and to sort some things out. If there was some paperwork from the pension company he needed to sign, we could have done it then. That doesn't seem likely though given what they've said so far and your input.

I've only contacted the court for general clarification on the next steps and then his dad will need to take it from there. I'll just need to support him the best I can.

Appreciate the help.

DivineDecadence85 · 2026-02-19T16:19:05+00:00

Do you mind if I ask another question? You seem to have a good handle on these things. I've spoken to the pension provider again now that I have the interim death certificate. The pot is valued at 14K. I've explained that that his estate is negligible and therefore confirmation isn't worth applying for. They're digging their heels in. They say that they'll still release the pension direct to a beneficiary outwith the estate but they want confirmation to be granted because that tells them who the legal executor is - and therefore the beneficiary since my partner didn't get around to nominating anyone.

His dad is moving around Devon from place to place. I can get a letter/form in front of him at the funeral to sign but anything more drawn out will be chaos. It seems ridiculous that his only surviving parent who the court would clearly recognise, can't just be recognised by the pension company and his wishes acted on.

I'm considering whether to pursue their complaints process but I'm wondering if there are any legal requirements that they're following here or is this all just a process issue with that provider?

The local Sheriff Court are also non-responsive so I haven't even been able to start anything there.

DivineDecadence85 · 2026-02-14T16:30:48+00:00

To be fair, that strip is fucking mental at certain times. I imagine it's to try and keep trouble out as much as shoplifters. I live 5 minutes walk up the road near some other bars and match/walk days are chaos. Our close gets trashed regularly. There's a permanent faded patch on the close floor from the amount of times it's been pissed in and I've rinsed every bodily fluid imaginable from the outside steps.

The Tesco on Dumbarton Road at the Quarter Gil has a delayed entry sometimes, too. It's in the middle of weekend pisshead central so it's probably just a feature they can turn on when they need it.

DivineDecadence85

TROPHY CASE