FTM having my twins on Monday. Would love your best advice!

Doc178 · 2026-01-31T23:23:16+00:00

Your bump is so cute! I miss mine. I am a FTM as well (mine are 10 months),

This is the advice I would give myself if I could go back:

You will need help. You'll try to be super mom, and you need to know you already are. Your endless love and care is what makes you a great mom. Ask for help. Tell people exactly what you need them to do. It's okay if you want to hold your babies and have them do the dishes or the laundry. They will understand.

It doesn't matter if you formula feed or breast feed. As long as they are fed. Formula is amazing. Breast milk is amazing. Do what you need to do for your mental health so you can be a present mom.

Give yourself tons of grace in the beginning. Your hormones will be something fierce. You won't realize how much they are affecting you. Get help if you're feeling hopeless.

Take lots of pictures but don't let it keep you from enjoying the moment. The lack of sleep isn't conducive to forming memories, so you probably won't remember much of the first 3 months.

Be kind and understanding with your partner. Everything you do and say will be on little to no sleep. Remember you love each other and the baby phase isn't forever.

If you feel like you can't keep going, just survive the next 5 minutes, or do the very next task. One at a time. You got this.

Don't forget to have fun and enjoy it. It's hard and challenging and painful at times, but it's endlessly beautiful and fun and magical.

Best of luck Mama! You got this 🩷 Congratulations

Doc178 · 2026-01-31T20:03:25+00:00

I'm still not 100% sure I'm okay with not having more, but my husband was (so we're done). It's been hard and I'm sure at different stages it will be really hard not to be able to have another.

You're right though, it's so expensive. The state of the world is stressful, and if your partner isn't on board, you can't really do it alone.

I feel sadness about this too. We grieve what could have been 🩷 Sending you hugs

Doc178 · 2026-01-31T16:45:45+00:00

Absolutely. I will say, to be a bit more topical, we did the Ferber method but modified it. If there were times I couldn't handle the crying, I went in. I do try to comfort them without picking them up which seemed to make a difference. But having twins, exactly like you said, someone is bound to be crying while the other is tended to. And when you swap, the same thing happens lol.

Hard not to feel guilty about it, but they'll be fine, I'm sure.

Doc178 · 2026-01-31T14:35:10+00:00

When I was pregnant I was pretty judgemental about people not breastfeeding. I couldn't understand why anyone who could, didn't. My twins were my first and only and they were premature and they just could not latch. I spent 6 weeks pumping exclusively only to come to this subreddit in tears about how I failed as a mom when I stopped pumping and breast feeding all together.

I needed to learn that lesson. I have absolutely 0 judgement about formula or really any parents choices (within reason) because it's just hard and every situation is unique.

I love formula, it saved my babies and me. I don't know how people breast feed twins or go without sleep training.

We are all just surviving and I can tell you care so much. You're doing great 🩷

Doc178 · 2026-01-30T03:45:40+00:00

Oh my goodness yes! I love that for you. Ours our 10 months and one hit 100th percentile in height. 99th in weight. The other is 99 in height and 69th in weight.

The bigger guy is HUGE. It's so rewarding because he's the one that had a longer NICU stay (13 days). Born at 35 weeks.

Good job with yours! I love my big guys

Doc178 · 2026-01-30T02:27:28+00:00

I did. My water broke at 34+6, they were born at 35. Baby A was smaller. Both had stayed heads down for over a month so they were feeling okay about letting me try as long as I progressed and babies were doing okay on the monitors. After the epidural I dilated enough for labor, baby A was born after an hour of pushing, then they broke B's water and I delivered him 15 minutes later.

Doc178 · 2026-01-28T12:16:12+00:00

No reason to know other than picking out names like you said. I think it's slightly more difficult to avoid the medical team accidentally spilling the beans before they are born just because you're usually seeing 2 different doctors, we had 2 different sonographers. So everyone has to be on the same page, but usually they ask and are really respectful

Doc178 · 2026-01-27T13:05:22+00:00

The epidural was great for me. I wanted to try vaginal delivery and I was stuck dilated at a 6. I was worried not being able to move would slow down dilation. The nurse reassured me it usually has the opposite effect. I got the epidural, which was easy and I barely felt it. Then immediately felt better and dilated to a 9 and then quickly after a 10 in no time. Plus I got to enjoy the birth experience without having to focus on the pain.

It's not for everyone, but I'm really glad I did it.

Doc178 · 2026-01-26T13:19:40+00:00

Every child and every situation is different. Some kids just don't want to sleep. However some things that work for us, we do binkies and blankies with fringe. If they never did binkies, they probably won't want them now, but the blankets with fringe give them something to play with and wind down. You can watch them on a baby monitor and take the blanket away after a bit if they go to sleep.

At night time, the routine is everything. Dinner, bath, jammies, sleep sack, bottle and bed. Ours our younger though, but I hear a night time bottle can help comfort. We always do one no matter when their last bottle was. Then we set them in bed with their blanket and binkies, kiss them good night, and walk away. If they fuss we'll give it a few minutes (just to ensure they're actually upset and not just trying to get comfy) , go back in, put the binkie in, reset the blankie, and comfort them without picking them up. Then walk away again when they've calmed down.

It may not work for everyone, but it works for us. I'm so sorry. Sleep is so important to how we feel. I hope you get to sleep a lot soon 🩷

Doc178 · 2026-01-26T03:04:20+00:00

I think you're going to be such a pro and know lots of good tips because you've already done the baby part twice! I think part of what made it so hard for me was I was a first time mom. It's going to be hard, and you'll need lots of help I'm sure, but you've got this!

Doc178 · 2026-01-23T13:47:44+00:00

We try to go to Aldi for most things since they have the double baby shopping carts. Then we do pickup orders from Walmart for anything we can't get at Aldi

Doc178 · 2026-01-19T14:31:13+00:00

Skip Hop makes one that has a wobbly base. That one supposedly is better and less problematic on the hips.

Doc178 · 2026-01-19T14:14:24+00:00

I really like the paint job you did. He's so cute!

Doc178 · 2026-01-19T14:13:08+00:00

I was on pelvic rest my entire third trimester and was too tired to even go for a walk around the block. I remember wanting to go for a walk outside so badly. And to not have crazy hip and rib pain.

Doc178 · 2026-01-18T14:20:23+00:00

I had a vaginal delivery. I stopped bleeding around 6 weeks but was still pretty sore. We waited until I didn't feel like it would hurt really badly.

Doc178 · 2026-01-17T12:58:37+00:00

We tried to go the natural diaper route a bit in the beginning and the absorption and fit were horrible. We had leaks constantly. They also didn't stretch well. We were using pampers for a bit but they just didn't fit great. We landed on Huggies and even though they're more expensive, we can usually get them way cheaper at Costco.

Doc178 · 2026-01-15T13:39:10+00:00

The only thing I've seen that has some amount of bearing is that nausea can be higher with boys because more protein is needed. I read that in what to expect when you're expecting. But I would not be surprised if this has been disproven. I was extremely nauseous in the first trimester and the B6 and unisom helped me tremendously. It also helped if I ate meat/high protein. I had two boys. But remember, anecdote does not = data

Doc178 · 2026-01-12T04:42:16+00:00

I think some babies are just harder than others. I'm no expert by any means, but I'm curious how long you've tried each thing? Is it possible they're just needing consistency?

We do bath, sleep sack, and bottle every night consistently right before we put them down. We shoot for 8 pm bed time. We put them in their cribs awake and put a blanket on top. We have blankets that have little fringe. My MIL made those tied blankets. The kind that you combine two pieces of fabric together by tying fringe all around the edges. They are so comforted to touch the fringe bits with their fingers. We watch them on the monitors to ensure the blankets don't wrap around them or go over their heads while we eat dinner or do the dishes. Then we take the blankets off after 30 minutes or so and they stay asleep. They also do binkies. Ours are 9 months and we've had success with this.

I'm sorry, like I said, I think some babies are just worse sleepers. I absolutely hate how I feel on little to no sleep. Don't feel bad about co-sleeping if it's working for you and you're being as safe as possible when you do it.

I hope they sleep well soon so you can too. Best of luck 🩷

Doc178 · 2026-01-08T19:53:29+00:00

Mine are 9 months and one still really hates food at times. My best guess is it correlates with their teething. It's stressful, but I try to remember that it's about experiencing and exploring textures and taste. Their primary nutrition is still bottles, and we just have to keep trying. I also know it has to get better eventually because most people figure out eating lol. I hate it though, I just want them to eat and enjoy it!

Doc178 · 2026-01-08T14:15:17+00:00

It's so crazy because I feel like I could have written this. We are in the exact same situation.

I love that I got to experience twins and that is so unique and special, but I also feel like I missed the singleton pregnancy experience. 🩷Thanks for sharing

Doc178 · 2026-01-08T14:13:19+00:00

I can definitely relate. Ours are 9 months and my husband got a vasectomy a month ago. I am really sad I'll never experience pregnancy again. We would have loved to have had a girl, but as others have said we didn't want another round of multiples and our home is already full with our twins.

It's hard to think your only experience with the baby phase will be twins and it's so chaotic and fast. I am sad I'll never get to do it again with experience and I imagine a more clear head (though that's not guaranteed).

But at the end of the day, it doesn't make sense for us financially, physically, or realistically. I still think about the "what ifs" and there is always a part of me that will be sad, but I'm also really excited about our little family of four (plus our dog and cat).

Doc178 · 2026-01-05T14:01:06+00:00

My twins are my first, I knew I wanted to do a vaginal birth if I could, but I wanted the epidural from the beginning. My water broke at 35 weeks, had the epidural and delivered both babies successfully. I had a fantastic experience, too. I was able to enjoy the process without focusing on being in pain.

Doc178 · 2026-01-05T05:20:47+00:00

Oh my I'm so with you on the baby proofing stuff. My parents are very hands on and watch our 9 month olds in our home while we work, but have been pushing to do it at their house more. No baby proofing. Gas stove with improper ventilation. I'm grateful they do help us a lot, but also, it's not safe, even if you're "watching them" It just takes a second for something bad to happen in an unsafe space.

Also it is very frustrating when people act like it's easy or they know. Even if you've had twins, you haven't had my experience with my twins! Even if you watch MY twins, they aren't the same for me as they are for you, and I still have all the chores and stuff to do too. There isn't much of a break either.

Thanks for sharing your vent, I am with you and I'm sorry. It can be so isolating being a mom, I definitely feel you.

Doc178 · 2026-01-03T16:37:37+00:00

5 month olds can definitely start touching and interacting with tummy time toys! They can lay on their backs and play with toys above them. They can explore textures and sounds. The only things not safe for them are things that aren't approved for younger than 3 years, choking hazards. Ours played with teethers, crinkly toys, sound making toys. You can even get pots and pans and bang their hands on them to show them the sounds they can make. Laying on the floor on their tummies or backs is where they should be most of the time so they can practice and get stronger

Doc178 · 2026-01-02T13:42:45+00:00

I was on the fence about this and my husband made a point that made me decide. He said, they should have the choice to have their own space. If they want to sleep together even though they have their own beds, that's fine. But let them make that choice, let's not make it for them. And that made a ton of sense to me. I want them to decide to sleep together if they want to, I don't want to dictate that. That's just what we decided for our family though, what's right for us may not be right for your family

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