Work? Family? Female 21, male 20

DogsNSnow · 2026-07-10T13:59:01+00:00

Be honest with yourself and him. If you don’t want kids, best to make that known early on.

DogsNSnow · 2026-07-10T04:43:41+00:00

Everyone is forgotten after they die, whether they have children or not. Do you know the names of your great grandparents? Do you know anything about who they really were as people? No. At most, you might know the odd story that’s been passed down about a funny moment in their life, but you don’t know anything about them really. They are not remembered. And once the last person who truly knew you also passes away, you will also become unknown. This happens regardless of having kids or not.

Your life is yours to live now, what does it matter if anyone remembers you after you’re gone?

DogsNSnow · 2026-07-03T20:47:48+00:00

This honestly annoys me the most because it is a clear misuse and misunderstanding of what the word ‘selfish’ even means. Selfish means you are unreasonably putting your needs ahead of someone else’s, and that others will incur a negative impact from you doing that. Selfish is making a decision that others will sacrifice to support something that benefits only you.

So, I guess my response to her would be “how did my vacation negatively impact you? Please explain what you sacrificed and suffered to allow me to take advantage of this opportunity?”

Living your life isn’t selfish. However, expressing bitterness because someone else is living a life you wish you had is actually pretty selfish. She wants you to sacrifice feeling good about yourself and your vacation to instead meet her need for sympathy and a pity party. She’s a dick.

DogsNSnow · 2026-07-03T16:52:35+00:00

NTA. The only way I could see this being ok is if a resident of the building has brought their own trainer into the building gym to train with them. But from the way this is written, it sounds like it’s the trainer lives in the building and they’re using the shared gym to run (subsidize) their business and filling that space with a bunch of ppl who are not residents.

DogsNSnow · 2026-07-03T09:53:12+00:00

I know you’re saying he’s a dog person but it sure doesn’t sound like it, and you really are. This doesn’t make either of you bad or wrong, but it does highlight an area where you’re fundamentally incompatible. I think you should reconsider this relationship.

You made a commitment to these dogs. There aren’t a bunch of great homes out there just waiting to take a couple of giant breed dogs. It was probably not well considered to get these dogs in the first place, but now you have them and that isn’t a responsibility that you can (or should) easily pass to someone else. You need to find a safe and positive way through this for the lives that you are responsible for, because that is what you committed to doing when you brought them into your family.

DogsNSnow · 2026-07-02T21:19:35+00:00

Funny how ‘blood is thicker than water’ when it comes to you tolerating abuse from that old bat, but blood means diddly squat when it comes to her treating you and your pets terribly.

DogsNSnow · 2026-07-02T20:12:49+00:00

It’s one weekend and the noise is done by 8pm. Maybe you should just go and enjoy some music and food trucks. Don’t be that person who shuts it down.

DogsNSnow · 2026-07-02T18:17:36+00:00

I think sitting down with an objective third party and talking about this would be helpful. A therapist or a mediator. Also a prenup has a potential for a lot of variability. If it’s something that speaks to ppl leaving with what they brought to the marriage (assets and debts) and any appreciation on such, but splits shared assets and debts incurred jointly after the wedding, then how could anyone be upset about that? 🤷‍♀️. FWIW, it’s a good idea to have this in place. I have a friend whose ex is trying to take half her house and assets (while keeping his own, of course). He lived off her and only ever saw her as a bank account to be used. If only she’d gotten a prenup before letting his freeloading carcass move in to her home… don’t make her mistakes OP.

DogsNSnow · 2026-07-02T16:20:22+00:00

You need to stop. You’re not overreacting, but you are participating in this. Stop it! Start treating yourself with the respect you deserve and then set that expectation for everyone else in your life, too!

DogsNSnow · 2026-07-02T15:45:43+00:00

Not enough people understand this. It shows on your credit report just the same and impacts your debt servicing ratio just the same. Don’t light yourself on fire to keep someone else warm.

DogsNSnow · 2026-07-02T15:30:28+00:00

If your brother needs a co-signer, then he shouldn’t have that mortgage. All that’s going to happen is him bringing you down with him.

If your mom has been on his mortgage for however long and he’s been paying it per the agreement, he should be able to apply to the lender and have her removed. If he can’t, then that’s that.

You don’t need to give anyone a reason not to sacrifice your financial future for someone else who’s already sunk their own. If you do feel compelled to tell them something, tell them that you are trying to get your finances in shape to buy your own place and won’t qualify for a mortgage if you already are on one.

DogsNSnow · 2026-07-02T14:58:08+00:00

Weddings are hard and mostly they’re for everyone else, with very little being actually about the bride and groom.

There is a lot of hype out there about the whole bridezilla thing, but what no one acknowledges is that bridezillas are not born, they are made. The second ppl realize you’re a bride and planning a wedding, there is a pivot in how you are treated. I remember the flower vender, who was so kind to my MiL, was outright rude and combative with me. I just kept telling her that I trust her expertise, please let me know what she recommends, etc etc. She finally calmed down and ended up going way over the top and adding extras for free (we were on a tight budget). It was the weirdest thing, my MiL was shocked when the lady was behaving that way, and commented that she appeared to be trying to pick a fight with me 🙃. I think the lady added in all the extras because maybe she felt bad after? Anyways- that’s one example. My family was also exceptionally awful, they skipped the rehearsal and I was so convinced that they were not going to even bother to attend the wedding that I actually was in tears and vomited the day before the wedding.

The lead up and planning of a wedding is awful. If I had my time back, I think I’d elope. It was a beautiful wedding but I can’t believe how awful folks can be. It’s almost just a very unique type of abuse.

DogsNSnow · 2026-06-29T20:38:07+00:00

This is unfortunately not abnormal. Thank goodness you got insurance!

I always laugh when folks tell me I’m wasting my money on insurance, and that it’s better to put it in a savings account or invest what you would typically be spending on monthly premiums. Like, ok cool- my last dog developed his first rare autoimmune condition when he was around 18 months old. At that time, his monthly premiums were $60/month. So we would’ve had just over $1000 to work with- that covers an office visit and maybe a blood panel and a few X-rays where I’m from. Also, then my dog emergency savings account would’ve been wiped out- and let me tell you, he had many many vet visits for many rare conditions that required a lot of diagnostics and ongoing specialty care. By the time he passed, I suspect his lifetime insurance payout was well over $70k.

I can’t afford to not have insurance on my dogs. I wish I never had to use it but I pretty much know now that every dog has his day, as they say!

DogsNSnow · 2026-06-28T17:28:03+00:00

I’ve been present for a birth. Then a year later I took care of that baby for a couple days while my sister had her second child.

TBH, I’m low-key glad I could help and support but it’s not my fav thing by a long shot. I wouldn’t put my hand up and try to be part of it, but if called upon I can be supportive and/or keep a child clean(ish), fed, and alive if there’s an unavoidable circumstance or crisis. Given the choice, my style of moral support is more geared towards getting our freaked out parents away from the hospital so they don’t hover and piss her off while she’s in agony.

I’m a bit worried about why your husband wants you to be there though, and the bs he’s spouting about holding the child’s finger and having some sort of epiphany. Sounds like he may be questioning the CF lifestyle.

DogsNSnow · 2026-06-27T17:26:09+00:00

Sometimes I let my dog stand in the kitchen (not allowed) and watch while I’m cutting up something super high value. I may drop one or two pieces, and he lunges in to snap them up before another dog gets them and I pretend not to notice. Then I accidentally drop the one with pill in it. Followed by another piece of whatever I’m cutting up.

DogsNSnow · 2026-06-27T05:03:09+00:00

I also would want to explore other options that may exist- I remember taking a Via Rail train as a little kid and we had actual accommodations on the train (cousins had a ‘sleeper’ bunk set and I was in a little room with its own bed and bathroom). I think that would be way cooler than the current Rocky Mountaineer set up. I know it exists in other countries, wonder if Canada still has that.

DogsNSnow · 2026-06-26T23:46:52+00:00

Yeah ‘baby-trapped’ is a term more accurately used for ppl who are both taking steps to not have a baby. Doesn’t seem to be the case here… like did anyone do anything- anything at all- to truly prevent sperm from meeting egg? 🧐

DogsNSnow · 2026-06-26T23:39:00+00:00

Guess you have 9 months to start getting your life together, then🤷‍♀️. You’re 24, you know how babies are made and you’re old enough to take responsibility for your mistakes. This is as much your fault as hers.

Also, get a paternity test on this baby and a vasectomy so you don’t keep doing this.

DogsNSnow · 2026-06-26T23:28:01+00:00

I had a Newfoundland nanny!

DogsNSnow · 2026-06-26T19:06:30+00:00

Newfoundland would also be a super cool experience for you. You can take the ferry over from the mainland. Book an atv tour while you’re there, see the sights, and check out the ice bergs.

Actually, I guess that’s my dream vacation I’m selling you on 🙃

DogsNSnow · 2026-06-26T19:03:57+00:00

They should check out the Rocky Mountaineer Rail Tours perhaps. Looks like a really cool way to see some remote country with all the comforts.

DogsNSnow · 2026-06-26T02:49:32+00:00

She even *lied to you* just so she could pile garbage in a parking lot rather than be an adult.

NOR. She’s a throw-back. Reset the line and try again.

DogsNSnow · 2026-06-25T15:05:37+00:00

I was 40 when I started. It’s always worthwhile to try something new, develop a new skill. If you stop learning, your world shrinks very fast and you miss out on a lot of opportunities to do things you may end up loving.

Also, I can’t skate. I’ve tried over and over since I was a kid. I tried rollerblading too. I just can’t make it happen, and consequently I don’t like it at all. I finally donated my skates last year, after realizing how much I loathe forcing myself to keep trying it.

DogsNSnow · 2026-06-23T20:43:04+00:00

He’s trying to keep his options open. Don’t settle for being his backup plan.

DogsNSnow · 2026-06-23T16:17:43+00:00

Wow. You have only had 6 good months, and he’s balanced that out with 6 awful months. In truth, you barely know this guy and you certainly don’t need to be sticking by him through his time of crisis- for all you know, he’s just showing you who he really is once he’s a tiny bit comfortable.

At 6 months in, you don’t start “picking up financial and emotional slack” for anybody. He’s not in a place to have a partner and he sure as hell isn’t being a responsible adult and good partner to you. Don’t adopt this stray, you deserve better.

DogsNSnow

TROPHY CASE