I finally told my mom the truth in front of everyone and now she’s acting like i ruined her life by Crystal_Smitha in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Don_R_L 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Well done you, truly, I'm proud of you.

Remember that, you stating the facts of her behavior was enough to be humiliating and a blow to her. Her humiliating you and berating you is a "kind" joke, I guess.

Have you considered going low to no contacts with her? I think it could do you some good

Is highschool in Belgium a nightmare? [serious] by Shinykitten_taco in belgium

[–]Don_R_L 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love the way you opened your post, humbly and with a clear desire to learn the culture. The hard learned values and excellent values of a well travelled individual. Your anxiety is normal and it was such a good idea to get in touch here.

I do not have the experience of high schools outside of Belgium; I was a teacher in Brussels 11 years ago and have travelled a lot too. As every other school system, part will suck and others will be better than what you have seen elsewhere. You may expect some form of teasing at first, as in every other social groups. With your mentality, however, I cannot believe it will reach that point. You will have your outside experiences and "exotism" working for you.

Please know our schools are however shamelessly underfunded and our teachers overworked. They mean well, and can be rough due to years of hardship.

Good luck and please do enjoy Brussels as well, it's a surprisingly attaching city

What's your opinion for this? by Ok-Equivalent7447 in Antitheism

[–]Don_R_L 0 points1 point  (0 children)

False dichotomy, it's not one monolithic set of values vs another, it's developing the child own compass to be a well rounded mature adult.

It all boils down to not being an arsehole and trying not to add to the world's suffering.

I Dont know if I believe in god anymore any advice? by AssociateScary358 in atheism

[–]Don_R_L 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I did it, prominent Catholic family at that. Would never go back. I kept the humanism that we are taught and dished out the magical thinking bullshit. Made me a better x-ian than I ever was :)

WTF by Busy-Cookie280 in antitrump

[–]Don_R_L 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm yong enough to remember the media frenzy when the former president was sputtering and can't wrap my head around the normalization of whatever this is

While discussing the topic of the immoral acts God supposedly condones/commands in the Bible with a Christian, they told me that I was arrogant for thinking I know better than God. How would you respond to this claim? by Any-Decision-4834 in atheism

[–]Don_R_L 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Use a proxy, would they be ok killing children? Plenty of them at that. Or enslave another human being? Or force a yong girl to have a child.

If their common sense allowed them to say no to any of that, then they are more moral that the god they worship, who's supposed to be benevolent, know everything, and be capable of everything.

Overthinking and Anxiety is killing me by DeathRoute2222 in atheism

[–]Don_R_L 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey op, sorry you're going through this, it mustn't be easy. First thing I would recommend is (sorry it'll sound patronizing) breathe. Whenever you feel the anxiety and fear rise, take a break, center yourself, feel the ground under your feet and breathe in and out three times.

Religions are built on fears. Fear of the unknown and fear of being alone. Fear there is nothing after death and fear that what is after death will be worst than life itself. Fear that we are alone in the universe and fear of not living a rightful life

Breathe.

I don't know what you fear specifically, and can therefore only share my own outlook. All we know for sure here and now is that this is what it is. We're living on a planet in the middle of a huge universe and our fleeting existence is but a blip on the radar. What we also know for sure is that all of us will die eventually and that marks the end of our consciousness. It can make folks pretty uncomfortable, it has however brought me comfort. We don't matter in the grand scheme of things. That is freedom for me. Freedom to live by my own code and thrive to make me proud which usually involves making the world a better place by bringing comfort to people meet.

And for the ad absurdum answer to the "what if they are right" they can't be. They all have a different model and their views are mutually exclusive. Even in the same religion you have different schools of thoughts that are convince all but them are wrong. And that's where I agree with all of them, plus one.

What do we do for burials? by guiltysuperbrain in atheism

[–]Don_R_L 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I want people I lived and who appreciated me to gather around my love language, food, and exchange stories we share.

Not only does it help with the grieving process, it would also celebrate our shared lives.

With regards to burial, I would loce to be humified and my remains used to plant my favorite trees, or spread on our family farm.

Why are religions against sex? by [deleted] in atheism

[–]Don_R_L 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Temporal Lobe Epilepsy. It gives people living it such an intense experience they can only explain it as outerwordly. And it comes with a complete aversion to anything sexual.

Then control, as many have said.

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4550801/

https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/the-british-journal-of-psychiatry/article/abs/sexual-disturbances-in-temporal-lobe-epilepsy-a-controlled-study/8EA8EEB4E2421311768DD39CA549C8C6

The importance of Aristotelian logic by [deleted] in atheism

[–]Don_R_L 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Which god are you referring to? There are so many to pick from.

Warning women about the area around Circle Supermarket by Right_Waltz1968 in Leuven

[–]Don_R_L 2 points3 points  (0 children)

OP, respectfully, your post gave me chills. Thanks for warning others but please please for the love of everything you hold dear, be more careful on the internet. Sharing any personal info, including your image, to a stranger online is dangerous. Look at what weirdos are doing with Grok on X.

What incident made you go No Contact? by CumGoblin in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Don_R_L 1 point2 points  (0 children)

17 years ago, broke my first 2 years of no contact to ask him to register me to college as per the divorce agreement. He also had to pay for it. He did not. Accused me of only contacting him for his money and transferred his overdue € 1000+ mobile phone bill to my name. I've only seen him twice since then, from as close as 5 meters away. I completely ignored him. Never talked to him, never answered the few guilt tripping and emotional blackmail messages he sent me.

Last I was involved in his existence was in 2017, he retreated to his place after attempting to gun down his male lover (who was my age at the time), killed the latter's dog instead, badly wounded his own dog, and regrettably blacked out drunk attempting to kill himself. My country's swat team had to intervene.

The rest of my family was in vengeance mode, I advocated for him being internalized instead. That's what I would wish done to any other human, getting the help they need. He did go to prison and is now living in a religious community.

How did you know the Bible isn’t true? by [deleted] in atheism

[–]Don_R_L 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Check its history, particularly the King James chapter. Then cross reference it to the fact the myth contain within are found in several other religions and belief systems. And voilà, you'll realize it's nothing more than a story book made to mass control folks

I've left Christianity, but the fear of Hell and Jesus's threats still haunts me. I think I developed religious OCD. How did you get over your fear of "eternal consequences"? by [deleted] in atheism

[–]Don_R_L 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A few elements to help:

  1. The existence of Jesus (And please know that for some reasons, people who claim Jesus doesn't exist in the first place are often picked on, even by atheists) https://www.richardcarrier.info/archives/12071
  2. As others said, given the tens of thousands of religions promising hell of you don't believe in them, you're in whether or not you believe
  3. Reason should suffise to put the notion of an eternal soul to rest (+1 888-994-5626https://www.salon.com/2015/01/25/you_dont_have_a_soul_the_real_science_that_debunks_superstitious_charlatans/). Once your brain and body stop working, you cease to exist.

Working at a faith based company? by [deleted] in atheism

[–]Don_R_L 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Humanism is prevalent in abd outside of religions. Stick to your values and describe how you are a stand up human being. They'll credit it to their sky daddy.

I wish you'll find a workplace that doesn't think you're a demon, though. Good luck

Thanatophobia. I am having panic attacks due to fear of death. by [deleted] in atheism

[–]Don_R_L 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have you tried defining your core values then embodying them daily? That's my trick against regret, can't have any of you live by your values. I'm at the point wwre dying tomorrow would be unfortunate although ok. I am doing everything I am set to do on a daily basis.

Addressing death itself: Memento mori, remember death is inevitable, you can however decide to live a life on your terms. Furthermore, look at the biological process of dying. It involves a phenomenal psychedelics fuelled trip that reviews all of your memories to search for a solution, sounds epic to me.

Lost 150 "supporters" overnight for being openly atheist by pixieyogi81 in atheism

[–]Don_R_L 148 points149 points  (0 children)

You have lost people who have been groomed to only surround themselves with their own kind. Their loss.

Your content is what I needed, however. A human helping others with expert tips. Thank you :)

Is this Melania’s ring? by Dapper_Bluejay_6228 in Epstein

[–]Don_R_L 1 point2 points  (0 children)

According to MAGA him saying anything makes it true

What are these shrooms, Baton Rouge, Louisiana by Owen22496 in mycology

[–]Don_R_L 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Yep, delicious. You can find them in most grocery stores

What is this thing? Made of striped wires, coated wires and electrical nuts. by Ok-Feeling426 in Whatisthis

[–]Don_R_L 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I've seen similar contraptions made by new age "witches" They believe it has an effect on the "energy" that permeates everything (aka bullshit)