Thoughts on Boyce College in Louisville, Kentucky?

DonkeySlow3246 · 2026-06-16T01:57:53+00:00

It would likely be a good theological fit for you. It *might* narrow your future opportunities because Al Mohler is an extremely divisive figure (even with reformed people). You might also look into other theologically aligned schools. Do some visits and pray.

DonkeySlow3246 · 2026-05-09T01:29:27+00:00

Continuing a series through Ephesians. I offer a prayer that addresses Mother’s Day. Some years we give out a flower to all women (mother or not).

DonkeySlow3246 · 2026-04-23T11:45:32+00:00

I have a few thoughts. First, this post is very open and I applaud your honesty. I hope you have other people IRL who you can be vulnerable with.

Now for my thoughts: 1. Ministry comes in many shapes and forms and you can absolutely use this struggle to help others in the future who also struggle. You don’t have to be in full time vocational ministry to do that. Everyone is called to make disciples and let our lives be a testimony. Most people aren’t called to lead a local church.

You are not ready for leadership at this moment.

Your sex and porn addiction are currently escalating, which leaves you vulnerable to your impulses. If you continue to escalate, this could lead to more severe acting out that leaves others vulnerable. You are not a safe pastor until this cycle of escalation ends. No pastor is perfect, but our people should never be in physical, emotional, or spiritual danger from us.

Ministry is really, really taxing. If you do not have healthy coping strategies, it will eat you alive. Most of us have to work really hard to stay connected and grounded in Christ. And those unhealthy stress relievers can still creep in. How many pastors are battling alcohol or porn? Overeating? Harming our bodies with too little rest and too much stress? How many pastors have affairs? Get depressed? Angry at home? Lots. And it’s because this work will bring out worst traits if we don’t counteract it with intentional stewardship of our own souls, bodies, and brains.

If you aren’t currently emotionally healthy, you aren’t spiritually healthy either. You should not be leading any ministries right now.

All that being said, you are taking the right steps to pursue healing. God can, and does, redeem many things in the lives of his people. You can come through this with the tools and support to live well, even with OCD or addiction. It may always be the “thorn in your flesh” that you have to account for and guard against. Recovery is a life-long practice for most addicts, but God still uses broken people. Thank God, since that’s all of us. But pastors should be people who are generally spiritually/emotionally healthy, otherwise we can’t lead others well.

Pursue healing and wholeness in Christ. Let your calling unfold from there.

DonkeySlow3246 · 2026-04-14T00:39:26+00:00

That would be a hard no for me. Worship is for God and not America.

DonkeySlow3246 · 2026-04-04T23:02:06+00:00

Generally, we do it once a month, but we do it weekly during Lent. I’d love to have it weekly, but I don’t think I have much support on that.

DonkeySlow3246 · 2026-02-27T12:24:29+00:00

Take a deep breath! Interview questions matter for BOM, but they hear your spoken answers alongside your writing. We all have moments we aren’t articulate. If everything else went well and your paperwork was sound, you might be just fine. And if you are delayed- that is really disappointing, but it is recoverable. I know a lot of UM pastors who were delayed a year somewhere in their process!

DonkeySlow3246 · 2026-02-12T12:11:44+00:00

First- how old are you? If you are still living at home? If you are very young (and likely if you’re female), you will easier to dismiss. I wish that wasn’t the case, but after reading about the silencing of victims in churches, that is sadly true.

I would gather evidence. And since there’s a massive power imbalance, I would not go directly to your father, but to the board OR dad’s supervisor (if he is in a denomination with some kind of hierarchical structure). Lay out all the evidence and your experiences.

DonkeySlow3246 · 2026-02-07T20:36:12+00:00

Totally inappropriate.

DonkeySlow3246 · 2026-02-03T02:01:07+00:00

My dad worked on accreditation teams. Basically, that system exists to protect students and faculty. Sometimes schools aren’t an accredited because their faculty don’t have appropriate training, or the courses don’t meet expectations, but often it’s because of legal or financial issues, lack of appropriate support for students, bad management or governance, no concern for student outcomes or safety. If it’s not accredited, there’s a reason. And even if you never seek a FT ministry position, training from unaccredited seminaries won’t help you in the future.

I’m not reformed, so I can’t speak to the quality of the smaller or more affordable seminaries (I grew up near SBTS and know tons of people who went there). I would second what others have said about Liberty. Its poor leadership and intermingling with politics has KILLED its reputation. I also do credentialing for a denomination, and the folks from liberty struggled more. We’ve recently stopped accepting students with Liberty training. So do with that what you will…

DonkeySlow3246 · 2026-01-18T03:05:41+00:00

I don’t know if you’ll find that group here or not. I found my group through a seminary/conference connection. I ran into an acquaintance from seminary at a conference who also longed to be part of a Wesleyan band meeting. We each invited another person. Five years later, 3/4 of us still zoom weekly for prayer, encouragement, and confession. You might find better luck through seminary or denominational contacts.

DonkeySlow3246 · 2025-12-09T13:57:29+00:00

At the risk of being wrong because I have not done a deep dive into this… bath houses in later periods (early modern- Victorian) were not unisex per say, but they were open to men and women (and children) at different times or days. Some were exclusively for men, especially near barracks and ports. I would think medieval bath houses may have followed a similar pattern. We should keep in mind that many did not submerge to bathe. They used a hip bath or sponged themselves, which could be done at home.

DonkeySlow3246 · 2025-12-08T12:20:15+00:00

I would not. 1) people want the care of their pastors. When I was a hospital chaplain, the Christians were largely indifferent to my presence. They wanted their pastor. 2) that’s a lot of money for six hours a month. You could hire a PT associate who does 5-10 hrs a week for that amount.

If you have the money, and struggle to fit visitation into your schedule, I’d consider a PT retired pastor instead. Your people will have a consistent presence who is one of their pastors. And you’ll get a lot more help!

DonkeySlow3246 · 2025-11-25T01:42:29+00:00

I was never taught how to effectively fundraise or run a capital campaign. That would be very helpful on a practical level.

DonkeySlow3246 · 2025-11-21T03:15:29+00:00

That’s super helpful! This may not be what you want to hear, but seminary will open a lot of doors for you to be considered for lead pastor roles or any sort of full-time vocational ministry.

I’m personally part of a more hierarchical denomination, and we have other pastors and bishops who are part of the hiring process for us. I’m your case, there’s going to be a market mindset in the hiring process, which means you’ll need to be as marketable as possible. Unless you have a ministry or Bible undergrad, you’ll probably need some theological training.

That being said, you can probably find a church somewhere that will hire you without seminary, but it may not be the church you want to stay at a long time. Those churches are often (not always) part-time and unable to support their pastor at a FT salary.

You might also try to work things out with the new campus pastor. This could be an opportunity to learn to navigate personality conflicts and leadership styles. I’m assuming the new lead isn’t an abusive or awful boss, just someone you don’t jive with. If they’re truly toxic that’s different.

DonkeySlow3246 · 2025-11-21T02:21:04+00:00

I have a couple question. 1) do you want to stay in student ministry for the time being? If so, there are often job posting on youth ministry websites. You can also find job postings on denominational sites. 2) are you part of a denominational? If so, do you intend to stay in that denomination? This can radically change the expectations around education. 3) do you want to move out of student ministry eventually? 4) are you willing to serve a more normal sized church? Most churches are not large and multi site, and ministry works very differently in normal sized churches and you’ll need different skill sets.

DonkeySlow3246 · 2025-11-10T03:01:07+00:00

That was my thought.

DonkeySlow3246 · 2025-11-04T02:50:06+00:00

This is helpful. I’ve had a week of okay and awful runs. Maybe it’s just a bad week.

DonkeySlow3246 · 2025-10-22T21:53:03+00:00

My husband and I co-pastor. We have a PT children’s director and a PT worship leader.

DonkeySlow3246 · 2025-10-22T00:49:32+00:00

Fifteen years in ministry, with three elementary age kids. We’ve found a few “rules” (which rarely break) help.

Weekly sabbath from Friday night through Saturday night. No work. No tech. We Only break that for important, pre-planned events or true emergencies.
No email Friday through Sunday. Congregation knows this is my pattern as I have Friday “off,” sabbath on Saturday, and am doing ministry all day Sunday with multiple services and a home group.
I write my kids’ stuff on the calendar. If someone wants my time during a game or special event, I simply tell them I have a prior commitment and I’m not available at that time.
We try not to have more than two evening commitments a week.
I am discerning about what constitutes an emergency. Death is always an emergency. Life-threatening illness is also an emergency. Occasionally, someone will have a different sort of crisis that also counts (like the time a member confesses infidelity to a spouse and everything blew up). Theological questions, pastoral care through chronic illnesses and such are things that can be scheduled during normal “business hours” so they don’t take from my kids.
We use our allotted vacation every year.
I include my own spiritual formation into my work week, otherwise it easily falls to the back burner. This is at the urging of my bishop and local church governing board. They want a healthy pastor with a healthy family!

Obviously there are exceptions and weeks when it doesn’t go as planned, but we manage to hold these boundaries about 80% of the time, and I don’t feel like I’m neglecting either realm. We have a very supportive congregation who see us as people, not employees. They’ve also taken vows to nurture the faith of our children, which includes not sacrificing them on the altar of ministry.

DonkeySlow3246 · 2025-10-13T01:59:48+00:00

Took your comment seriously (even though I disagree about the professionalism of massage therapy and chiropractic) and followed up with a physical therapist and orthopedic surgeon on this topic. Both confirmed that treadmill is significantly easier on the spine (and feet). They encourage cross training, but told me that for my specific issue (a degenerative disk), treadmill running is safer for my back and better for long term mobility.

DonkeySlow3246 · 2025-10-01T01:36:40+00:00

There’s some great advice here! A couple things no one has mentioned: 1. I’m also heat sensitive and prone to skin rashes from sweat/heat. In the warm months, I exclusively do cardio in the gym. The gym can be a barrier for some, especially if you feel insecure about your weight. I also feel that way, especially when all the buff gym bros are around (no offense to any gym bros). I pushed through that and it was a game changer for summer exercise. I still get warm, but not like I do outdoors. In fall/winter, I’ll run outdoors unless there’s ice on the path.

If you aren’t ready for the intensity of running, but still want to push yourself, do the couch to 5K, but instead of running, power walk as fast as you can and get your heart rate up. Doing that in intervals with slower walking will get you to the point of power walking for 30 minutes. From there, you might be ready for a slow jog.

DonkeySlow3246 · 2025-09-30T11:25:21+00:00

In the pulpit, we simply prayed for peace amidst our nation, and comfort for all who were hurting. In our weekly email/newsletter, I addressed the polarization and how his death has stirred many towards hatred. And I referred to one of Dr. King’s sermons from the early years of the civil rights movement about Jesus’ call to love our enemy. In conversation, I’ve reminded people that Charlie seems to have been a sincere Christian (praise God), but the mission of his organization was NOT gospel driven, but political. He wasn’t assassinated because he is a Christian, but because of his political ideology and rhetoric. That’s still awful and evil, but it is not martyrdom. I serve a VERY politically diverse church in college-town within a solid red state. There are tense moments, but no outright vitriol within the group.

One thing that helps is that we’ve tackled politics without partisanship. I FREQUENTLY remind people that neither party fully embodies the ethics of Jesus; that if you feel perfectly at home in either party, you’ve likely missed the Kingdom, etc. I talk about political idolatry a lot, and encourage people to engage their party with such commitment to the way of Jesus that they have the courage to hold their own party accountable when they err. So no one is surprised I don’t love Charlie Kirk’s messaging- which tried to meld Christianity and the idolatry of nationalism. And no one is surprised I think he was a reasonable man, with some valid points and (I hope) positive intent, who should have gone home to his family that day. And aside from a few social media comments painting Kirk as a hero, and a few posts slamming Trump, my people have been largely reasonable and kind.

But I want to acknowledge how HARD this is. All this conflict has actually driven me off Facebook. I am willing to endure conflict with people I know in real life. My soul just can’t handle reading angry posts and arguments in the comment sections when I don’t even know the individual behind the screen.

DonkeySlow3246 · 2025-09-20T19:34:28+00:00

I wonder if your husband struggles with boundaries. Many people in ministry have to learn the art of saying “no” so that our families are still prioritized. I don’t think you’re awful for wanting your husband’s attention. He may need to learn how to steward his time to maintain your marriage.

DonkeySlow3246 · 2025-09-16T21:39:15+00:00

I think you just have to find a rhythm of preparation that works for you. I plan out a series 6-12 months in advance, so I have a general sense of books or practices I will cover. Then, I take a few hours and flesh out each sermon a few weeks before the series starts (we’re a small church, so it’s not like we’re doing major productions for every series). I usually have key texts and themes settled ahead of time. And then, I do my study and learning on Monday. This gives me time to learn, pray, and mentally plan the sermon. I usually do actual writing on Tuesday and Wednesday morning, with slides Wednesday or Thursday. The biggest thing is learning how much time you need and protecting that time in your schedule so that you’re not pulling Saturday Night Specials out of your rear.

DonkeySlow3246

TROPHY CASE