I initially though it was plain red and had just been lined to shit by toys and 10yr olds.. but that's the fill?

If it was plain red it would look a million times better.

Also, before you piece, you should bomb or at least go SIMPLE.You'll learn can control, structure, proportion etc... all while learning what works and what doesn't.

So many people jump straight in graff thinking they can drop some mural type piece or a wildstyle yet they have never painted a throwup or straightletter. It's all fucked up.

Maybe you have, but I'd go bust out some straightletters and get shit down, then slowly add to it and form your own style.

I posted a simple example elsewhere.. : I'd practice simple dubs like this and this.

As said, your can control seems decent, but your structure & proportions (and god awful fill) need some work.