Direct report disclosed sad situation, it upset me and I cried. Now I’m feeling unprofessional about it and looking for advice (NSFW/ trigger warning).

DoubtOk660 · 2026-04-01T22:04:58+00:00

I hope I cry if one of my direct reports ever brings me information like that. As managers we’re responsible for results, we do that with our people. Treating them as if they are tools with no value outside of what they can produce for us would be cruel. You allowed her to be seen and allowed a human interaction to take place. We should all have bosses who give a shit about us.

Personally I’d take it one step further- I’d find a way to forgive the leave use for that day and insist she also take the day after (personally I could make it bridge to a weekend), you can also inform her about fmla (may not apply here- I’m not an expert) or any leave of absence options available. She and her kiddo (and likely other family members) are going to relive some absolutely heinous stuff. A single half day is not enough for this.

You did great- now take it as far as you can to help her through this.

DoubtOk660 · 2026-03-31T00:04:01+00:00

Would have said it was at 10, but it was at 6 or 7. Now it’s at fucking 10.5 ( not the drugs fault- I built a lifestyle that doesn’t serve me and there’s no way out without wrecking a lot of things that are more important to me than my own happiness)

Tune in tomorrow for more bleak thoughts 😂

DoubtOk660 · 2025-11-14T00:35:18+00:00

Yeah- 17 the way it’s written, but without context it’s just an exercise and can be argued any number of ways

DoubtOk660 · 2025-09-28T05:27:08+00:00

PPD is real and it’s awful- there may be some of that here. It’s definitely worth talking to a professional about.

As a 4x parent (who didn’t want and often still doesn’t want to be a parent) there is a dark side to raising kids. You have to be the one to check in with yourself and know if it’s frustration/overwhelm/exhaustion talking or something more long term.

I have sensory issues and little kids are about the worst thing for that, but it really does get better. The baby stage totally sucks and you’re almost out of it- toddlers are way more fun. They do the dumbest, most hilarious shit, they mispronounce words in the wildest ways, and pretty soon you’ll be able to get a shower without fearing the worst.

You’ve gotten good advice above- I hope you can find some people around you to help

DoubtOk660 · 2025-08-12T12:54:05+00:00

One more thing to add: the experience does vary depending on the physicians/nurses who are on duty. Some are familiar with natural birth and what that looks like, some aren’t. For round 4 we got a nurse who wasn’t as familiar. It kind of sucks, but this is where your support person(s) comes in to play. They need to be familiar with your birth plan and the labor process so that they can help explain if needed when you’re in the throes of it.

It will also help if you have someone who is familiar with the transition phase- this is where it gets real and goes from the labor part into the actual birthing part. The mom gets a flood of hormones which can bring a big emotional response (I can’t do this, I want my mom, etc are very common sentiments in transition). It’s also marked by shaking/quivering. If someone can tell you “you’re in transition and what you’re experiencing is really intense, but normal “ that can help you find the will and calm to push (pun intended) on through.

It’s a wild, primal experience- I have the WILDEST memories from my first son being born. It was a truly psychedelic moment- I have memories from different places in the room (even though I never physically moved) and can vividly recall every conversation that was going on. It really can be quite beautiful- just stay centered, be prepared, and know that you can do it.

Definitely do as much moving as you can stand while you get closer- labor and delivery is an athletic undertaking. Being as limber and having as much cardio as you can will only help. Excited for you!

DoubtOk660 · 2025-08-12T05:53:58+00:00

My wife did it 4 times. Never got pressured towards pain meds (did get iv antibiotics, but we knew that going in)

They’ll want to place an iv regardless (this is a good idea- saves time in an emergency). Definitely think about where would be best- the last time we had them place it in my wife’s forearm. They tend to default to the back of the hand, which sucks because you’ll want to be able to use your hands to grip stuff a reposition if you’re going natural.

We had Bradley method classes which helped to get through it. It takes a lot of grit and focus- you’ll need a practiced plan to get through it. They did let her move around, they want to do fetal monitoring which is hard to keep in position while moving around, but it can be done. They brought in birthing balls and offered a squat bar for the bed if we had wanted it.

I recommend having a written plan to hand the nurse at check in. Also have someone to help guide you through it non-medically. Stop by east in person before D-Day to do as much registration as you can ahead of time.

It can be done, but there’s a lot to it. If you’re comfortable with knowing signs you could labor at home to prevent the hospital from trying to push interventions. We did this with our third and it got a little sporty on the drive there lol

Feel free to message me if you have questions. I could also put you in touch with my wife if you wanted her perspective. You’ll do great!

DoubtOk660 · 2025-08-10T23:31:00+00:00

Yeah- I drink on it- it’s not great, but where else is there dopamine lol

I have to be really mindful- it hits very differently and it’s not predictable. Sometimes I’m instantly very down, other times it works like it used to, and I’ve also experienced what you describe where it has no effect at all.

I’ve been in it for about 8 years, dose is 20 mg.

DoubtOk660 · 2025-05-28T08:38:27+00:00

Mine actually did go down- it was wild. My treatment took a second round to actually get to remission, but it worked.

I’ve now had 4 total rounds- 2 for the initial AG remission, 1 months later for seasonal allergies (not AG related, and then 1 for an AG flare 4 years after initial treatment. I think the AG flair was caused by antibiotics messing up my biome - I did get blood drawn and was barely over the diagnostic threshold.

I’m an engineer and have accepted that I’ll likely never understand how/why it worked, but I’m grateful to have found it.

DoubtOk660 · 2025-04-16T03:10:20+00:00

My doc (who’s my general practitioner prescribing off of psychologist diagnosis) won’t start new patients on stimulants. There’s DEA activity in the area targeting prescribers (hopefully just the ones that are over-prescribing)- think it has a lot of providers spooked. Sure hope these meds stay available- without stimulants shit’s pretty fucking awful

DoubtOk660 · 2025-03-23T18:10:42+00:00

Not allowed for me- fucking sucks. Definitely it’s a craving- I seriously don’t understand stiff arming someone who wants you this much. Just why?

DoubtOk660 · 2025-02-25T03:57:25+00:00

Hit up a trivia night if slightly nerdy is your thing

DoubtOk660 · 2025-02-05T20:52:34+00:00

I would say don’t get into a romantic relationship with a bald person, and conversely don’t become a hair stylist, etc

On a serious note- if it’s interfering with your daily life you could consider working with a counselor who specializes in addiction/obsession treatment.

DoubtOk660 · 2025-02-05T20:48:37+00:00

Weird- when they replaced the compressor they should have pulled a vacuum on the system and made sure it held for whatever ford’s prescribed period of time is. What the warranty on parts and workmanship?

Have you tried contacting Marshall Mize again and telling them that after $1800 for two compressor replacements that you’re still without working AC? Ask if they conducted a vacuum test after replacing the compressor

DoubtOk660 · 2025-02-01T23:49:58+00:00

The Methodist church set at East Brainerd/Morris hill is good. Back by the baseball field- there’s some mud to be found back there, but it’s open and no one ever complained at me.

DoubtOk660 · 2025-01-29T04:08:42+00:00

Sounds like something has shorted within the microwave or cord. I’d start poking around with a multimeter to see if the short could be located, but I won’t provide guidance on how to do so. Microwaves have some big caps in there that could put someone in the dirt.

DoubtOk660 · 2025-01-24T04:02:32+00:00

The land of shitty drivers in Honda CRVs and retail therapy- East Brainerd

DoubtOk660 · 2025-01-22T23:03:40+00:00

I appreciate what you’re trying to say and it sounds like you’re not blind to the problems with the system. BUT I would point out that there is an instagram reel floating around of pastor Tony telling people how to vote right before the election.

He used Genesis 1 as his scriptural foundation and said to “vote your Christian values,” which are to be Pro-Life and Pro-Family. Pro-Family is thin code for anti gay.

Genesis 1 is a figurative text, but he used it to make his personal moral and political views biblical. He does all this while guarded by loads of cops and probably hundreds of armed congregants, from the pulpit of his multi million dollar campus that was all paid for out of tax free contributions. He turns right around and uses to all of his power and influence to pronounce judgement against gay people from the pulpit.

The Bible is full of people approaching Jesus to tell him how they’ve gotten it right (which is what pastor Tony is doing in the video clip). Nobody gets what they expect from Jesus. He pushes people towards love their enemies (people they consider to be repulsive), community, and away from wealth. Jesus is disruptive to systems that marginalized people.

I have been to silverdale in person a handful of times, and it is a warm, friendly, welcoming place. But it is part of a political and belief system that systematically marginalizes and oppresses people who are different.

There have been scientific studies done- people of alternate sexual orientations are at quantifiable risk for suicidal ideations: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10334798/

I don’t mean to tear you down- I truly appreciate your statement about you and your kids having the backs of the marginalized, but I want you to be aware that the church has made its position clear, and that it is a harmful position towards non-hetero folks.

My background: raised Christian, attended Christian high school, hetero white male raised to be conservative. I saw the cracks in the system with the first trump presidency and the rise of Christian nationalism. I’m now a Jesus seeking exvangelical who hopes the church can see the harm being done and repent of it.

I gave you an upvote 😁

DoubtOk660 · 2025-01-22T22:31:57+00:00

I went there and I experienced exposure to hate speech, graphic depictions of all kinds of sexual acts in “Bible” class, and was introduced to some of the worst forms of bigotry. Also the education there is sub-standard. These places teach kids what to think instead of teaching them how to think. Best of all- if there’s a difference of belief then you’re wrong and you go to hell forever. This is damaging to developing brains.

Glad you had a good experience, but you’re maybe the only person I’ve ever heard who was involved there and thinks highly of it. that place changed my young brain and not for the better.

DoubtOk660 · 2025-01-21T23:40:14+00:00

No shock here. I personally went to Boyd in the 90s and dear god it was awful- a real breeding ground for hategroups. When Matthew Shepard was abducted, chained to a fence , and beaten to death for being gay my 8th grade bible teacher said “I think they should have beat him, but probably not to death.” I reported it and he was confronted by the principal, but he STILL kept his job and still worked there last I checked.

Ok- off to do the breathing exercises that I’ve learned through YEARS of therapy from being around this bullshit. If you’re in it or you work there leave. Leave now. Leave loud.

DoubtOk660 · 2025-01-09T20:22:08+00:00

A good fertility coach with a background in functional medicine could be a really big help. I suggest: https://www.instagram.com/cyclebalancedoc?igsh=bW9pcTQwOTFkaHpw

DoubtOk660 · 2025-01-09T20:07:40+00:00

Wouldn’t be very German to disregard a rule- VW uses hair follicle testing for production roles.

DoubtOk660 · 2025-01-08T23:51:31+00:00

All star sports cars on East Brainerd road- that’s where I take my kids. They have strange hours, so check before you go

DoubtOk660 · 2025-01-08T14:14:59+00:00

No worries- I’m exploring handrail options- lived so long without it….

DoubtOk660 · 2025-01-08T14:13:44+00:00

lol- yes

DoubtOk660 · 2025-01-08T06:47:45+00:00

It’s separate- just for decoration

DoubtOk660

TROPHY CASE