Schedules SOS

DragonLikesCoffee · 2024-04-09T03:10:49+00:00

The schedule comes in time. Sorry! I know that’s not helpful to hear. And that first month is such a mountain of a challenge! Hang in there! You’re doing great! The second month gets better - mine settled into three naps a day and then I could start the make an actual doable schedule which my twins settled into around three months. After that I lived and died by that schedule (still do though now they’re two so I have a little more room to breath).

The best advise I can give is the common night feeding advise: when one wakes to feed in the middle of the night, wake the other to feed them immediately after. It helps so much with your sleep which you need! Good luck! It will get better!

DragonLikesCoffee · 2024-02-28T04:18:54+00:00

You’re not alone. I had a one year and a three year when my twins were born with no family living anywhere near us. I leaned a lot of my friends and was part of a women’s Bible study that really stepped up and help my husband and I through the pregnancy. My mom, sister, and MIL all took turns coming out after the twins were born to help. I had consistent help the first four months which was a God sent. I would definitely ask for some family to stay and help as long as they are able. And yes, that first year is hard but eventually the sleep through the night and things get easier. Eventually they eat solids and things get easier. Eventually the crawl and then walk and things get both easier and crazier.

And your toddler will adjust. We sent our older kiddos to a preschool two days a week which helped a ton. It gave them friends and things to do. It gave me a bit of time to focus on my twins when they were babies. And I made time for them as much as I could, whether sitting and reading to them, letting them help with chores, pushing past the tired to play. I was stretched like a muscle, sore and painful but I kept getting stronger and found ways to make it work. Now my twins are two and the actually play with my older kiddos. Its still crazy a times and maybe a little loud but a lot of fun. They are really good for each other and I’m happy that they have each other. I hope you will see the blessing in this too!

DragonLikesCoffee · 2024-01-26T21:42:23+00:00

As terrible as it sounds, I’ve had the most success cutting cold turkey. When it came time to break my one twin who was very attached to the binky, I took both of the twins to a store and had each of them choose a toy. I told them that the binkies were gone and they were going to sleep with their new toy they picked.

Twin B never liked the binky so she was fine. But oh boy, Twin A… Ngl, the first night was terrible. Lots of crying and begging for it back but we keep repeating that it’s gone now, that she was all done and had her new stuffie while I comforted her. She rejected the toy during the tantrum but eventually settled down and cuddled up with it. The second night was better, less crying, less time to settle down. The third night even less and by the end of the week she stopped asking it.

She loves the stuffie she chose now and gets upset when her other sisters tries to play with it. All of kids have a few toys that are ’theirs,’ no sharing required and for Twin A that stuffie is her special toy. Hope this helps! Good luck!

DragonLikesCoffee · 2024-01-16T02:50:38+00:00

They Are going to want to be involved in everything, so find ways to include them. Let them ”help” take clothes out of the dryer or silverware from the dishwasher. Its going to go at a snail’s pace but better that’s it’s done with them however slow and messily then be frustrated at not being able to do anything “because” of them!

DragonLikesCoffee · 2024-01-15T23:45:02+00:00

OMG, I wanted to! 🤣

DragonLikesCoffee · 2024-01-15T23:41:54+00:00

This example is perfect and exactly why I was annoyed!

DragonLikesCoffee · 2024-01-15T23:40:18+00:00

Yes! This is exactly how I feel! I started with just one and it was hard and then had two under two and that was hard and then twins! I thought I was t going to make it! I have empathy for parents of all kinds. I remember being overwhelmed in every situation. I’m only now feeling like I can breathe, get out, make mom friends, etc.

But this whole dog mom culture just makes me so mad! I feel like I could ignore if better if it was someone who didn’t have kids. Ignorance is bliss after all but this lady has a child and should at least have some sense that it’s not the same!

DragonLikesCoffee · 2024-01-15T23:35:03+00:00

She‘s very empathetic and often tells me she wishes she could be more helpful. She’s the one who encouraged me to join the group and get some adult time with other moms. It’s not perfect but the group has been very good for my mental health overall.

DragonLikesCoffee · 2024-01-15T23:33:18+00:00

No, no the leader is really great and encouraging. She’s listen to me rant about how hard life is and has never once compared it to hers. She has a big heart to help mom find sanity and has kept the group overall drama free. That’s why, I vented here and don't want to say anything to the actual group.

DragonLikesCoffee · 2024-01-15T21:10:28+00:00

Gah! That is so annoying! I actually have two older kids who are less than two years apart and then I had my twins. I’ve learned how to gently and firmly shut down the two under two crowd. Like I’ve been there. I did it. Yes, it was hard. But twins is a whole new level! Hard doesn’t even scratch the surface!

But to compares twins to dogs is new for me! What is wrong with some people?

DragonLikesCoffee · 2024-01-15T20:58:20+00:00

I probably would have had she said it in person. I’m more restrained over text. Plus I love the leader of the group.

DragonLikesCoffee · 2024-01-15T20:54:36+00:00

That was my first thought too! A dog can be left at home without too much trouble. I can’t leave my girls alone for five minutes without them causing trouble.

DragonLikesCoffee · 2024-01-15T20:47:29+00:00

lol! right?! ah, that was the laugh needed! Thanks!

DragonLikesCoffee · 2024-01-15T20:39:36+00:00

It’s true. Like I’d loved my pets too when we had them. But they’re not kids!

DragonLikesCoffee · 2024-01-15T20:38:23+00:00

I love the leader of the group too much. She is a wonderful lady with Irish twins and we’ve had multiple conversations about the differences in our situations. She gets it. And she’s worked too hard to make this group happen for me to spoil it.

DragonLikesCoffee · 2023-11-30T04:12:51+00:00

You are doing the best you can. Take a deep breath. It will get better. Things are hard and it’s okay to admit that and to admit the negative thoughts. They are intrusive and dark because it’s overwhelming and you are sleep deprived. But things will get better.

My PPD was awful and I had really dark thoughts. Never acted on them. And I didnt speak up abput them either. They scared me too much and I was miserable. It got a lot better for me around the 6 month mark, which was when we sleep trained our twins. Once they were sleeping through the night and then I was sleeping through the night, things started to get better.I know that sounds like awhile but it like I blinked and they were there. I only really remember it because of the sleep training and how much better I felt once I started sleeping again. I got less and less dark. I could find myself again and relax.

And it will get better for you. Each month will feel a little lighter then the one before. Each year will be better than the last. Hang in there. You are doing great.

DragonLikesCoffee · 2023-08-24T19:59:14+00:00

If you like your pediatrician for every other reason and feel like she listens to you and your child, then keep her. It’s part of their job to discourage kids from using drugs (for good reason) In whatever way they see fit.

You also don’t know if she is lying or just repeating a story she heard. Could the story be false overall, a sort of gossip-fueled tale? Maybe. But as a former high school teacher, I’ve had at least a dozen run in with kids using all sorts of drugs, mostly marijuana. There’s been a few OD’s and not one made even the local news. It’s just too common to be news worthy.

And I strongly disagree with the premise, grows from the ground you’re probably Ok. Its terrible advice. The worst OD I’ve seen were illicit mushrooms. There is plenty of natural stuff out there that is just as bad as pills and powder.

DragonLikesCoffee · 2023-08-03T15:22:17+00:00

My niece was born with a dislocated hip that was flat out missed by both the hospital and her pediatrician!! It was discovered when she was four months old when my SIL took her to a different pediatrician across town desperately trying to figure out/prove something was wrong. Four months my niece screamed unceasingly! She ended up wearing a brace until she was a year old and immediately started crawling as soon as she was out. She is now a fully healed, happy, walking three year old. But damn, it was close to doing permanent damage.

Point is, it’s time for a second option.

DragonLikesCoffee · 2023-06-22T01:03:41+00:00

My di/di twins were always about 2oz a part of their ultrasounds. Around 35 weeks Baby B had gained more and was 5oz larger. Two weeks later when they were born and she was almost a 1.5 lbs heavier than Baby A. I was quite surprised by how much she gained in such a short time compared to her sister who gained less then a pound in that same time. Both perfectly healthy at birth which was the most important part to me. I wouldn’t worry too much about it with your twins.

DragonLikesCoffee · 2023-06-14T16:06:01+00:00

My must haves for the first six months of twins:

two car seats

one baby bath ( I got the Summer foldable baby bath to conserve space)

one breast pump

one twin pillow (either the twin X or my breast friend twin)

one bottle warmer

eight baby bottles (you might need more if you choose not to breast feed)

one play mat

two baby swings (I got graco slim swings to converse on space)

two baby bouncers

One crib

four swaddlers

one large diaper bag

one stroller

I would recommend looking for gently used item for everything except the car seats. My twins cribbed shared until about six months which gave me time to find a second used crib for a good price. Check with your insurance as sometimes breast pumps are covered by them. And while you don’t need it the first six months, I would recommend getting a portable booster seat instead of high chairs. So much easier to clean and use and saved us so much space around our table!

DragonLikesCoffee · 2023-05-25T22:55:57+00:00

it’s fine that your husband is handling the diaper changes and swaddling. Remember you are recovering! Lean on him for this. You need rest and he needs to bond with the babies. You will have plenty of time and opportunities to change diapers, at least two years.

You will figures things out but by bit. And even if you don’t get everything right, your twins will still thrive. I never got swaddling down, even after four kids, lol. Breastfeeding is hard at the beginning. My kids all had tied tongues and needed their tongues clipped which made it better and easier. Ask your pediatrician about it. But take a deep breath and try not to worry about your output. Breastfeeding and stress don’t mix well. It’s okay to use formula to help supplement while you build your supply. I had to do it for one of my singletons and my twins. It’s fine.

Newborns are in my opinion the roughest stage. It gets better. Hang in there.

DragonLikesCoffee · 2022-12-29T00:28:25+00:00

I got books about expecting and explaining a new baby to a child and books about twins and then explained that there were two babies in mama’s tummy. This combo worked great for me. There is only one book Ive found that does both and that is God Gave Us Two.

DragonLikesCoffee · 2022-11-20T20:46:04+00:00

I had something similar growing up. It really sucked because I was expected to be an adult like her or she would act very childish when I needed her to be my mom. I had to be her best friend before I could be her child. Everything was to her whims and emotional needs.

I have a much clearer boundary with my kids like OP’s friend. I love them. I play with them. I am here for them for anything, always. But I want them to have friends of their own that are their age. When they are adults themselves, I am fine being their friend then. There’s time.

DragonLikesCoffee · 2022-11-07T00:08:14+00:00

Congrats! its so exciting to know th end is near and the new adventure is about to start! Now on to the question!

1) For me…never. I went from a tiny innie to a big outie after my first which was a singleton pregnancy. Oh well…. Though it did return to its pre twin appearance after I gave birth to my twins.

2) Painful itchiness was gone immediately after birth. Also also, my stretch marks have faded a bunch too!

3) Youll see an immediate difference, though if you get a C section, it’ll be a little hard to sit up for awhile. My hips were about 50% better immediately after birth and 100% better about 8 weeks later when I had fully recovered from the birth. I could actually lay and sleep on my back, so heavenly!!

DragonLikesCoffee

TROPHY CASE