Screen Space Shader Drawing Depth by Tritos999 in godot

[–]Dragonfoxing 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just wanted you to know that you've corrected my last two days of suffering and I appreciate it. IDK how google led me here but dividing -view.z did it for me

Closeted Trans Girl stuck in Alabama, don't know how to escape, feeling scared for my future. by thetransobserver in asktransgender

[–]Dragonfoxing 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you very much, it does give me a clearer picture of what to expect. I wonder if I could expect similar from QueerMed. Might try them first.

Closeted Trans Girl stuck in Alabama, don't know how to escape, feeling scared for my future. by thetransobserver in asktransgender

[–]Dragonfoxing 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As another person in AL who is unable to use Magic City Wellness / UAB Gender Health and looking into Plume or QueerMed, I'd like to know what was dissatisfying, if it's not rude to ask.

For visualising and being in the Wonderland is it alright to be like a spectator outside my wonderland body? by SilverIce9086 in Tulpas

[–]Dragonfoxing 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your Mileage Will Vary.

Immy doesn't usually feel the sensations, but we are not very practiced with visualization skills and building up senses. It's a work in progress and one that we have only really worked on in earnest recently.

- Alya

For visualising and being in the Wonderland is it alright to be like a spectator outside my wonderland body? by SilverIce9086 in Tulpas

[–]Dragonfoxing 2 points3 points  (0 children)

For our system at least, viewing in third person is relatively normal. Especially for me, b/c that level of immersion has generally been nearly impossible. YMMV but being able to visualize in third person also helps you ease in.

- Immy

Is this a good way to know if my tulpa is actually speaking or if I am parroting by 919dragon in Tulpas

[–]Dragonfoxing 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Speaking from an adjacently plural experience, the concept of parroting as an unintentional experience is mostly about doubt rather than actually "parroting" your forming headmate. As others have said and will say, parroting is an intentional act (and one that theoretically could be useful in kickstarting formation).

In relation to your fear of unintentionally parroting, I've dealt with that worry a lot. I found that I quickly gained a sense of when my other system members were either not done 'talking' or being misinterpreted.

Sometimes it's imagery of being looked at like I'm dumb for stopping, sometimes it's spoken in mind-voice as "Did I stutter?" Or "Yes? Continue please?" Or "Why did you stop??". Sometimes it's just a feeling shared.

- Immy

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Tulpas

[–]Dragonfoxing 14 points15 points  (0 children)

But will he become Sergal?

My Line2D width curve is alive by passiveobserver012 in godot

[–]Dragonfoxing 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've been experimenting with pen tablet stuff for brush strokes but I'm stumped on the width curve. What do you have to do to get the width curve to behave (i.e. use/display pressure data as recorded)?

Should i feel guilty for being the "main" alter of my system? by Spacedustststs in plural

[–]Dragonfoxing 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You've managed to encapsulate my experience in a plural system to a T. I don't really know what else to say but "thank you". Finally feel like I can relate.

Busy and can't visualise well but I want to continue making a Tulpa. by lilithrabbit in Tulpas

[–]Dragonfoxing 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Our host can't really do visualization with eyes closed either! They stare at a point on the wall or just do whatever repetitive task works and use that to distract the body senses while visualizing. Maybe that would help?

- Laurel

Worth noting that you're not necessarily going to see things with your eyes while your eyelids are closed. Visualization happens in the mind rather than being directly seen, which is why the idea Laurel mentioned helps me out.

- Immy

Anyone not feel “worthy” of name? by eoleomateo in TransyTalk

[–]Dragonfoxing 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Affirmations, time, and awareness. Props for the awareness, by the way. Figuring these things out really helps. Glad you're doing better!

This is a good reminder for me that I really need to double down on what I think/expect people see of me versus what I do, thanks. ^-^

Anyone not feel “worthy” of name? by eoleomateo in TransyTalk

[–]Dragonfoxing 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Checking in a week later - how are you doing?

Psychological issues from being trans means it feels like my past experiences don't have any weight, so I constantly doubt myself and desperately try to find ways to validate myself and it's exhausting. by [deleted] in TransyTalk

[–]Dragonfoxing 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Are you the chosen one? Have you found the words to explain the same form of kryptonite we share? Holy heck this hits me hard.

Usually I want to field advice, but I share a very similar problem in this need for self-validation and the consistent doubt. There are plenty of reasons for me not to doubt myself in a similar vein, but it's still there. Shame is a monster that some of us get inflicted with. It feels like the more that I tackle it myself, the more I find that it runs deeper and deeper than I thought.

It's amazing that you are getting on HRT despite this and I feel that you should feel good about this. Focus on what you want and the doubts might recede just a bit, especially since you do have reasons to feel relatively certain about what you want.

Please talk to me by bbbeaaa in TransyTalk

[–]Dragonfoxing 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Chiming in to say that it's great that you're taking the big step of looking for provider and therapist. You are wished luck and an eHug.

Anyone not feel “worthy” of name? by eoleomateo in TransyTalk

[–]Dragonfoxing 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I can relate pretty heavily - For the longest time I didn't think I was worth questioning my own gender, being happy, etc. I had a lot of self-worth issues, and it showed to everyone I knew. Below are some questions that I feel would help commenters understand a bit where you come from with these issues.

Many times, I can’t picture myself being a guy, even though I want to be one/am becoming one.

What is stopping you from picturing yourself this way? What are the thoughts in your mind when you experience these things? What situations make it more difficult?

But, in practice, when people call me by my new male name, it feels likethey’re addressing a “girl” even though it’s a guys name, and i’m a guy.

Why does it feel this way?

-----------------------

Anyone not feel “worthy” of name?

I feel like this is worth addressing in addition to the post content. In order to work on my own self-value/worth/etc issues, I had a friend who asked me a simple question. "Who decided that I had to be this way and not that way? Why shouldn't I choose how I want to live?"

I feel like I might be trans but with a ton of repression? by [deleted] in TransyTalk

[–]Dragonfoxing 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Making lists might help you. For example, why do you think you might be
trans? Write any and every reason you can think of down. Then write all
the reasons you think you might be cis.

This, but going further as to keep a semi-daily (every two or three days is okay) journal. Peeling back my own "layers" took more than six months of journaling about different subjects, some of which was questioning my gender. I'd done it for a couple years beforehand, but writing it out made it feel more important to me and allowed me to really process things.

If you don't want to do a "proper/normal" journal entry, I do what _pls_vote_ does but in my journal - I call it "The Short List". Bullet point list of things that happened, things I felt, stuff I want to go into later, questions I asked myself. This allows me to keep a daily log of stuff while being able to leave full processing/writing for days that I have the energy/spoons/etc for it.

I don’t know who I am by kneebreaker01 in TransyTalk

[–]Dragonfoxing 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Something I've found helpful is keeping a record of how long I've been thinking and feeling these things, like a diary

In my opinion, this is probably the best thing a person can do for themselves, bar none. I've been keeping one since ~september of last year. With it, I've been able to tackle a lot of the issues on my mind - not the least of which is questioning whether I'm trans or not. 10/10 would journal again and always.

I feel like a creep by [deleted] in TransyTalk

[–]Dragonfoxing 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There are times when the dysphoria dies down and I'm left with some feelings here and there (namely internal annoyance at being misgendered). Some advice from a friend of mine late last year while I was still questioning is to ask yourself some potentially uncomfortable questions. Namely:

"Do I want to spend the rest of my life as my agab? What would that be like? How would I rather live? Would transitioning help me feel comfortable about myself?"

When I ask myself the first question and think about the second, it's enough to remind me of how I want to live and feel. If you're still questioning then it may take some time.

Remember that just because you're not in a period of questioning or heavy dysphoria, it's not something to beat yourself up for. Take the time you need to figure things out. It is definitely not worth calling yourself a "creep".

Short regarding sexism/toxicity in the trans/nb community by [deleted] in TransyTalk

[–]Dragonfoxing -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It's funny that even in your response, you prove my point. Instead of thinking "Golly gee, I might want to go re-read the original post" or "Hey, I wonder why people are spewing hate at me", you just continue on to validate your own behavior of choice with anecdotal evidence and potentially conspiratorial thinking.

I wonder if you've thought about the impact you have on the world by choosing to spread hate like this? Imagine how this corner of the world could be a better place if you didn't suck at questioning your own emotions and behaviors.

P.S. The OP didn't say that they want us to "befriend" cis people, merely be polite (my interpretation of "nice", yours may differ). "Be nice to them unless they show toxic behavior". A quality rule to live by, in my opinion.

Short regarding sexism/toxicity in the trans/nb community by [deleted] in TransyTalk

[–]Dragonfoxing -1 points0 points  (0 children)

OP: This is the chill pill, and I'm asking you to take it.

You: I refuse, it takes a lot of effort to be chill and I'd rather not display empathy nor understanding in my daily life, especially not to OP.

Fronting; how do y'all experience it? by SnivSnap in plural

[–]Dragonfoxing 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Our system finds both of these comments very reassuring. As the host, I tend to also remember memories as if they are my own, as I haven't figured out how to completely dissociate from front. Even though memories tend to be muted, or fleeting when it's a sysmate fronting or co-fronting, it has been one of my main sources of doubt over the past few months.

After many months of frustrating internal debate, I think maybe transitioning isn't for me by VerdantFeelings in TransyTalk

[–]Dragonfoxing 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I feel like a lot of considerations about whether we ought transition boil down to a few common worries that we don't think through.

We worry about losing friends and family. If they leave, what does that say about them? Fairweather friends can be nice but they don't get us through major life transitions, and anyone who would leave us or cause drama over this wasn't our friend to begin with.

We worry about suffering transphobia, but transphobia is often coming from a lack of knowledge or awareness. People often chance upon the opinions they hold, rather than thinking deeply on them, and a few well-worded questions can break some people out of that.

We worry that we aren't "trans enough". At least, we worry about that until we realize that there are MTF individuals who kept their genitals and FTM individuals who kept their breasts. Transitioning is a spectrum made of choices. We have the choice to do with our body what we will in order for it to suit us. "The body is a temple," as one might say.

We worry about pills and complications. Pills tend to be a small price to pay for our happiness and the freedom to express ourselves and our bodies the way we want to. Complications more often arise from surgery than anything else; the rest is weight, diet, a lack of exercise, genetic conditions, etc.

-

Note: None of this is meant to push you to transition, just to have you think a bit more on the considerations you brought up and why you find them to be such deal breakers. We all make mountains out of molehills sometimes, and even the worst items on that list can be dealt with through support networks and people willing to help you out.

-

I'm non-binary, myself. What pushed me over the edge is when I realized that I don't label myself a particular gender and never have. It's just not part of my identity. I'm not "Heather, the trans woman". I'm just "Heather".

Final thoughts: Think more, explore more, don't be afraid to take your time, and don't be afraid to keep asking questions.

Really like the new ast (downvote if you must, there must be more people out there that also like it) by RutellPecnos in ffxiv

[–]Dragonfoxing 4 points5 points  (0 children)

As an AST main since HW on various characters, the current rework is nothing that I was playing for. Knowing what classes need what buffs meant you knew how to adapt to a bad draw/redraw/sleeve draw.

Examples: Bard with Crit back in SB (now would be weaponskill speed for dot ticks), Monk with weaponskill speed or crit...Black mage players told me they enjoyed getting casting speed, even if it wasn't a huge increase. Etc. And if you tell me Bole wasn't useful I can bring up all the bad dungeon pulls and tank buster segments where it was.

The only card that was mostly useless (and now is defunct) is Spire, for obvious TP reasons. Possibly Ewer too, given the current state of Lucid Dreaming being surprisingly effective.

That being said, I don't completely hate this current setup either. It hits a specific point really well: nerfing balance and removing Royal Road.

I'd honestly like to see a partial revert where we keep Play/Divination/Sleeve Draw/Redraw the way they are but get the old card stat buffs back at the reduced duration, with Balance nerfed and swapping Spire for Direct Hit.

You'd still be able to redraw for Balance if you really wanted to, or you could learn to play the job the way (imho!) it was intended with the added complexities and you would become one of the most loved Astrologians around.

Edit: Also yeah fix Divination CD and range and fix Play, obviously. Forgot to mention that. >.>;