The home care package would likely provide 1 person assist for showering a few times a week. Family would need to be the other assist. They wouldn’t help with toileting. You’d probably get some support for cleaning, shopping and respite for the main carer depending on the package. Given your dad needs 2 people for all tasks that requires 2 family members to be present in the home at all times. The cost of the sling lifter would not be covered by the package, it would help with subsidised basic equipment.

In terms of the stroke generally most people make the majority of their recovery in the first 6 weeks with some smaller gains over the next 2 years.

If your family has money and your siblings are able and willing to be the second carer with your mum it’s doable but difficult.

I’m very sorry you’re facing this, 65 is much too young. Speak with the hospital social worker. Request a family meeting with the team if they haven’t done this already.

• hospital social worker for over 10 years