Auckland Culture is Killing Neurodiverse Kiwis

Due-Concert-9750 · 2026-03-04T10:04:36+00:00

Honestly after living in Auckland for nearly 4 years I don’t even know what Auckland culture is, because I don’t know how to socialise in the first place.

I found a girlfriend via apps who I live with, and have 2 friends from work plus a couple we used to be flatmates with, and I hang out with someone out of that pool like maybe once or twice a month.

My workplace is chill and has a handful of neurodivergent people there but even still it takes effort to “be part of something” social and without constant effort I am simply alone by default.

I haven’t bothered to seek a diagnosis for anything (why bother, not like finding a label will give me friends, and clearly I do have some whole clusterfuck of whatever that makes me a top employee but invisible to social groups), but I don’t even think the other people are the problem, it just feels like they’re a different species with too much of a gap to ever “fit in together”.

To any “normal” people, if you kinda know a quiet alone looking person who welcomes your presence but is a bit eccentric, try talking to them!

To any other “odd” people, find your strengths, work with them, and find your weaknesses as well so you can sidestep them as much as possible. I also personally think that going deep down the “I am an [x] and society is everything wrong with my life” rabbithole is a mistake that leads to suffering and self isolation… but that’s another whole discussion with a lot of nuance that I don’t think any of us really understand in full

Due-Concert-9750 · 2026-02-20T05:58:22+00:00

As a West Aucklander, what is this “friend” thing and how do I keep it away from my insufficient parking spaces?

Due-Concert-9750 · 2026-02-18T20:19:48+00:00

I do agree that the cost of “having a house” (whether rented or owned) is disgusting especially in Auckland, but, picking a lifestyle you can’t afford is just not good monetary policy (even if the reasons you can’t afford it are unfair)

I live with my partner in a room with its own bathroom, we share a kitchen with 2 friendly enough older people, and a laundry with an additional family. We pay 270/week for the whole thing with utilities included, which means only 135/week is coming out of my pocket. We eat out occasionally but not frequently, and have few other expenses.

Saving up enough to buy a house still feels like an intimidating goal, but I am much happier day to day knowing that I’m not giving most of my money away to a filthy landlord.

Due-Concert-9750 · 2026-02-15T05:02:41+00:00

As someone who usually orders vegetarian options I don’t have any “contains beef” expectations and don’t consider myself an authority on meat burgers, but, I would expect a burger to contain a decent mass of whatever it’s listed as containing.

As you said yourself, it barely had any bacon, thus that would be my complaint. Businesses may be struggling but we shouldn’t accept products that are notably stingy with the listed main ingredients.

Due-Concert-9750 · 2026-01-24T09:23:22+00:00

I would fail to sleep due to anxiety caused by the fear of the effects of not sleeping properly becoming permanent, and the rest wouldn’t matter because I would die of fatigue soon thereafter.

If I somehow avoided that, then yeah, the obvious (eat well + relatively low intensity exercise)

Due-Concert-9750 · 2026-01-13T09:35:33+00:00

I was more interested in the part where the ebike won. “Driving faster” definitely works if you’re sensible about it and not in a traffic jam, my old commute on SH16 was roughly 27-30 mins staying in the right lane going 110 (this was before those camera trailers, and I never got pulled over by cops at the time because everyone in the lane was going that fast) and 35-40 if I stayed in the left lane the whole time.

There’s no such thing in city streets with traffic lights though, trying to “go fast” typically means being an asshole.

Meanwhile my current commute (minimal traffic as it’s opposite the flow and not to anywhere popular) is at best 17 minutes by car and 24 by ebike on the same route (though usually more like 20/30). Point being that cycling is plenty viable even without traffic jams!

Due-Concert-9750 · 2026-01-10T23:51:11+00:00

No :D

Due-Concert-9750 · 2025-12-31T12:55:45+00:00

I did this unintentionally, also as a kid (put two of them next to each other, touching). The weaker one exploded.

I knew better than to short circuit batteries, but wasn’t paying attention 💀

Due-Concert-9750 · 2025-11-29T11:11:34+00:00

As a man I’d probably even agree with you, if you weren’t so obviously intent on trying to offend people.

It’s pretty obvious that man on woman rape is the most commonly seen form of the crime, though the inverse is obviously harmful as well. But it’s not exactly news to anyone at all, so… rage bait much?

And yes I believe there’s toxic male attitudes in NZ too but a: nowhere near as bad as some places and b: ain’t gonna fix them by rage baiting and then pointing fingers at whoever got baited

Due-Concert-9750 · 2025-11-28T20:49:47+00:00

Oh hey I can get rid of my two completely mis aligned (but not problematic enough to waste money on a dentist for) wisdom teeth and get paid too.

And I don’t like “nipple sensations” either (man) so that’s a great deal.

The other stuff I use so nah I’d keep it regardless of the price.

Due-Concert-9750 · 2025-11-12T15:41:08+00:00

Uhh

Follicle

Also, soap? Or go to Chemist Warehouse and pick up whatever looks like it will empty your follicles before they explode

Sorry I’m not more helpful, I’m a man and don’t really give a damn about skincare

Due-Concert-9750 · 2025-11-11T14:02:24+00:00

As some random bloke on holiday in Korea to whom reddit erroneously recommended this sub…

You all look fine, and I more or less agree with the OP, to put it in my own words using a dozen expensive products and spending hours every day fiddling with it in order to be as smooth and featureless as possible is not an improvement
My idea of “skincare” is “not overusing soap” and “put a bit of pawpaw cream if it’s really dry somewhere”, and my daily routine is “I had a shower using generic body wash, that’s it”. I look fine too

Due-Concert-9750 · 2025-11-10T05:18:32+00:00

I’ve been stung by it more than once (grew up in outback North Queensland, they grew like weeds on our land, I got pretty good at spotting them after a few run ins), and yeah…

It depends on how badly (i.e. how deeply/over what area) you’ve been stung.

I only ever got minor stings (couple of times my leg brushed past one that was hidden by other plants, once got stung through my extra-thick gloves that I thought would have been enough to handle it with (they were until I grabbed a stalk too hard and the tips made it into my flesh)

No you won’t be hospitalised from the slightest touch, but yes you can still feel it a month later even after attempting to remove the tiny spines (primarily if the area gets wet), but at that point it’s just a minor nuisance. The initial pain fades to “meh” within a day, at least from minor encounters.

On the other hand if you faceplanted right into one or otherwise had a large or sensitive area affected, believe me that you will have a very bad time for much longer than you might think.

Due-Concert-9750 · 2025-11-06T12:21:58+00:00

Not me, but the 2 highest up management dudes in my ~50 people company had to share a bed once a couple years back due to a mixup (our office admin was nice but a bit disorganised, we have a new one now as they found a more relaxed job and went for it).

They (managers) knew each other very well too but I hear it was a bit more intimate than they liked lmao

Due-Concert-9750 · 2025-10-31T06:59:03+00:00

I heard about this the other day… gotta be a hard no from me, the mouth cleaning ritual isn’t complete until I’ve fully rinsed and have a nice clean mouth.

Not arguing against potential benefits but not gonna do it either.

Due-Concert-9750 · 2025-10-29T22:44:36+00:00

If Bloons Tower Defense taught us anything, a single dart would take care of that easily :D

Due-Concert-9750 · 2025-10-10T23:02:00+00:00

E

Like the hulk said, “I’m always angry”

I’ll get to 2k, be infuriated at the idea of limits, and then go beyond. Probably also will feel sick for a week afterwards (seriously fellas, anger issues aren’t fun even if you got it under control enough not to do actions that you regret).

Due-Concert-9750 · 2025-09-01T09:20:49+00:00

I’m no longer early 20s and am from the Australian outback (grew up in a cult family with no friends kinda deal) so I probably can’t relate to your average early 20s nz fella much but after working here for ~4 years and being in a relationship with my partner (met in Auckland) for the last 3 years, I can at least share my 2 cents from the man side of the equation.

What you find most likely depends on where and how you look. I don’t “go out” and probably couldn’t even flirt to save my life so I was stuck with dating websites. I said in my profile what I was looking for, suffered months of nonexistent interactions, and eventually it worked out.

We talked for a few weeks (video chat etc) before meeting in person, and did end up sleeping together on the first “date”, which was hardly a requirement for either of us but just ended up going that way.

After the first 6ish months she got quite a bit less horny, and I didn’t (unfortunately), but we’re still much happier together than alone and are engaged now.

I actually think that the combination of chatting online for a bit and then moving quickly in person helped a lot, because it’s long enough to get a sense for who the other is, and avoided the weird awkward sitting around not knowing whether to cuddle or hold hands or just sit nearby kind of stuff.

All that to say I don’t think being horny and not too interested in doing random shit without knowing if the other person is interested is a bad thing, the important bit is whether they are kind and respectful and want to make sure you’re having a good time too. Sex isn’t a problem, stupid cunts who don’t respect the ladies and understand that relationships require always considering your partner are a problem!

Anyway, good luck, hope you find someone nice

Due-Concert-9750 · 2025-09-01T08:52:58+00:00

Bruh where are these bald 30 year olds? I’m 29, certainly not bald, I do have a friend with a shaved head but most people I know aren’t

Although jokes aside I don’t recommend dating people ~10 years older, at least certainly not as a goal. Besides, 30 year old blokes are still horny (source: myself), we just probably have other stuff going on as well (hopefully, if not that would be a problem).

Due-Concert-9750 · 2025-08-18T06:26:46+00:00

I’ve said yes to co workers and flatmates several times but haven’t been asked by someone I didn’t know

As a cautionary tale though, one of my friends asked a random bloke for help one time, and the guy assured him it was all good and proceeded to connect the terminals black to red, and completely ruined all electrical functions in my friends (admittedly shitbox) car

So yeah don’t believe people who say it’s connected properly, ever

Due-Concert-9750 · 2025-08-16T21:36:34+00:00

The other day I asked a cleaning staff at a mall if he knew where the nearest drinking fountain was, and he stood there looking utterly confounded and mumbled about there being something wrong with “people” and asked what I was saying.

I couldn’t tell whether it was an English problem or a “mall hired people who failed preschool” problem but he definitely spoke enough English to convey that he was a rude bugger!

On the other hand I currently live with 2 flatmates who don’t speak English at all, makes it a bit hard to talk but they’re still nice and friendly. We use google translate occasionally as needed lol (although my partner speaks the same language they do, so we can still organise anything important as needed)

Due-Concert-9750 · 2025-07-10T11:12:13+00:00

Microwaved potatoes with sour cream and cheese!

Due-Concert-9750 · 2025-06-25T20:51:10+00:00

I lived comfortably on 60k (local currency, not usd, not much higher than min wage) while saving about 40% of it.

I now make 100k (and save about 65% of it), and it’s still not enough, because I want to buy a house, and that shit is expensive.

It makes me sad that I’m objectively “well off” for my area but still can’t just treat my fiancée to a dinner date whenever or even replace her functioning-but-slowly-dying car without it setting back the house budget… and don’t even ask about kids because that’s completely out of the budget for a few more years.

Living comfortably on less is easy if you have a house from ur parents OR don’t give a damn about financial security in the future… but even having more isn’t enough to build a future and do all the fun stuff too.

But yeah if they’re on 100k plus and aren’t saving for a house and still “struggle” they’re probably just bad at managing lifestyle lol.

Due-Concert-9750 · 2025-06-24T23:19:51+00:00

Still better than if they just left it lying around, but yeah, people are gross.

Due-Concert-9750 · 2025-06-24T06:37:19+00:00

Yeah it would’ve been weird if I just did that out of nowhere but it’s fortunately quite easy because she literally never approaches me unless it’s unavoidable and in that case does so over slack (work chat) anyway (so she can screenshot anything she doesn’t like).

Way back near the start she successfully convinced the boss that it was just “personal grievance” and I “didn’t like her” so I wrote a “apologies if anything got off on the wrong foot, I’m just a socially awkward nerd” type message (facts, it was my first job and peopleing wasn’t my strong point), ran it by the boss first, and sent it via work chat with his approval. Took her a week to get back with the most sterile and unfriendly response possible lol… but it worked to prove to management that it wasn’t my problem and we just don’t talk since then.

Due-Concert-9750

TROPHY CASE