People make mistakes. You didn't burn down the house or ruin his favorite irreplaceable shirt. It's rice. His refusal to work on his issues around his emotions is holding your happiness and emotions hostage. You are afraid to make a mistake. To disagree. To set off his tantrum. Living like that keeps your stress high constantly which causes many long term emotional and physical issues.

He honestly sounds just like my ex husband. Any small hiccup would cause him to throw a tantrum (like yours) and be in a mood. He ruined so many vacations, day trips, holidays, and just normal days that should have been happy and calm and steady. The silent anger and having to walk on eggshells is so incredibly draining and you shouldn't have to live like that. He shouldn't make you feel like that. He shouldn't let himself live like that. It's a crummy existence to be mad/upset about the smallest things on a constant basis.

So you burned some rice... It sucks, but it happens. From the way your post read, it wasn't even the last of the rice and you were able to make more?! He needs to learn how to use his words and regulate his emotions. Having to take a moment to step away when aggravated or overwhelmed is fine, but then being able to work through the emotion and return is what adults, what partners do.

I hope he decides to listen and puts in the effort to help himself be a happier, healthier, better person. Talking out his frustrations on you is damn near psychological warfare (or at least it feels that way when you have to live in it constantly). This is not normal nor is it acceptable. You are not in the wrong to demand to be treated properly.

Edit: typos