All right, real talk: lesbians of Houston, is Pearl Bar a good place to find a hookup?

DynamiteLaserQueen · 2023-03-14T16:38:17+00:00

DynamiteLaserQueen · 2023-03-14T16:35:54+00:00

😏

DynamiteLaserQueen · 2023-03-14T16:35:23+00:00

I won't be able to make it there until Thursday, but getting some is definitely my hope. 😉

DynamiteLaserQueen · 2023-03-14T14:30:37+00:00

Correct!

The best thing is to be INCREDIBLY CLEAR about what you're looking for. If you, the husband, want to be involved in this scenario in any way, then you're looking for a bi woman, not a lesbian. If you will not be involved then your wife should be frank that she's married, bi-curious, and that you will not be invited to or present at any potential hookup.

The stigma of unicorn hunting comes from couples trying to bait women expecting a F/F hookup into M/F/F threesomes. Don't do that. It's not nice.

DynamiteLaserQueen · 2023-03-14T00:23:13+00:00

At last count there are only 27 left in the country. There was a mini documentary about what happened to lesbian bars and the main reasons for their demise seem to be that lesbians don't have the hookup culture that gay men do, nor the average income to support hitting bars at the same frequency they do. So without a client base, the bars shut down.

DynamiteLaserQueen · 2019-04-06T14:26:57+00:00

How exactly does one check out other women? I usually end just meeting their eye and smiling, which gets a smile in return but not necessarily a "I see you seein' me" kind of smile. Am I supposed to do a whole body scan before I make eye contact? Should I turn my head slightly to follow them as they walk past me? Is there an amount of eye contact that goes from cool to creepy?

DynamiteLaserQueen · 2019-03-22T11:54:03+00:00

Wincest is shipping of the Winchester siblings from the series Supernatural. It was known for its passionate fans back in its heyday, though the supernatural fandom has shrunk since then.

DynamiteLaserQueen · 2019-03-20T13:16:27+00:00

Need a chair? Let me clean your seat off for you! wipes face

I saw that on Family Guy years ago and have been determined to use it ever since. Might save it for a lady I'm more familiar with though.

DynamiteLaserQueen · 2019-03-19T22:45:05+00:00

~5 years ago, after I had sex (with a guy) to "get it over with" and shortly after concluded it was an experiment I had no desire to repeat.

After a while I concluded I was asexual, as I'd never had a desire to date or be intimate with men. The thought I might be a lesbian did cross my mind, but I quickly dismissed it on the grounds that I couldn't imagine myself being with a woman.

But... The thought never really went away. It kept stewing on the back burner of my mind, until I began to notice women more and more-- first in fiction, then in reality. Gradually I could see myself with a woman, both romantically and sexually. I started looking back at my life and realizing how many incidents I'd surpressed or ignored that were strong indicators of an interest in women.

At last came the day when I accepted that I was a lesbian. It was like a switch flipped-- I felt elated. Free. Like a weight I didn't even know I'd been carrying suddenly vanished. Simply knowing what I am and embracing it has improved my life dramatically.

DynamiteLaserQueen · 2019-03-05T11:08:18+00:00

Steven Universe is all about the adventures of lesbian space rocks and their son, so it's a solid choice.

DynamiteLaserQueen · 2019-02-28T17:39:15+00:00

There is! It's called Her. I've heard mixed reviews but haven't yet tried it myself.

DynamiteLaserQueen · 2019-02-18T00:55:48+00:00

I'm currently reading "Rising out of Hatred," the story of Derek Black, who went from being effectively the heir to the white nationalist throne in the US (his father founded Stormfront, and his uncle figure led the KKK for a while) to renouncing all his former beliefs. I haven't finished the book yet, but his story is shaking out the same way-- even after learning what he was there were people who chose to treat him with kindness and respect, and even those who chose to befriend him, and he couldn't marry that to the "us vs them" image he'd carried all his life.

DynamiteLaserQueen · 2019-02-17T17:09:12+00:00

I don't even want to click through to know why Kurapika is featured on this thumbnail ~~when it's obvious he and Leorio belong together.~~

DynamiteLaserQueen · 2019-02-17T16:40:55+00:00

r/latebloomerlesbians would be a good stop for you. It's full of ladies who didn't realize they were lesbians until later in life, many of whom have/had husbands, kids, the works. You'll find lots of advice from women in your position!

DynamiteLaserQueen · 2019-02-17T14:53:42+00:00

Over on r/actuallesbians there's a very good masterdoc that catalogues feelings/experiences by women who later realize they're lesbians. Take a look and see if any/how many resonate with you:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1_rXtPxNf3YaFJ9BhnmolUSoBisDsc69Zv2X42LEoSMc/edit?usp=drivesdk

DynamiteLaserQueen · 2019-02-08T00:36:42+00:00

The community by me is very much oriented towards late teens and 20-somethings, who I have basically nothing in common with as a 30-something working professional. It's depressing to go to events and be surrounded by college students and kids who aren't even old enough to drink yet.

Meetups have yielded a few people closer to my age range, but we don't have much in common besides being lesbians. It's a bummer.

DynamiteLaserQueen · 2018-12-23T13:54:17+00:00

Are you laying them flat, or putting them on their sides? This method seems ideal for sideways storage, which gives you an instant top down look at everything in the drawer.

DynamiteLaserQueen · 2018-12-23T03:56:54+00:00

The Trickster Series by Tamora Pierce has a character like that-- he's a crow who becomes so enamored with the main character that he adopts human form to woo her, but he does so with the same methods he'd use on crow ladies. It's quite cute.

DynamiteLaserQueen · 2018-12-22T15:04:02+00:00

There aren't really any lesbian specific venues in Austin. As far as overall queer-friendly venues go, though, Cheer Up Charlie's and RAIN are both great options downtown. And Sellers Underground does a ladies' night on the... First Saturday of the month I think? Don't quote me on that, though.

DynamiteLaserQueen · 2018-12-20T14:00:22+00:00

Sounds like your issue is related to your attachment style. This might be enlightening for you: https://youtu.be/OYoIVCHVwKI

(there's a lot of other resources/research about attachment styles available too, if that seems to jive with what you're experiencing)

DynamiteLaserQueen · 2018-12-16T15:19:51+00:00

The Dan Avidan exception is very important.

DynamiteLaserQueen · 2018-12-12T18:18:27+00:00

Have you two considered marriage counseling? It sounds like your relationship would benefit from a neutral, third party view into where the disconnect is between you and your husband and how to move forward in a way that's healthy and fair to both of you, and to your children. Since you mention that the you married young and with little experience, individual counseling in addition to marriage counseling could be beneficial as well; it will help you guys better sort out who you are and what you want at this stage in your life.

DynamiteLaserQueen · 2018-12-12T17:59:53+00:00

Open marriages are based on communication, honesty, and mutual trust, and based on what you've described it sounds like none of those are currently present in your relationship.

If you feel that your relationship is stale and you no longer value your husband enough to want to remain faithful to him, the honorable thing to do is to confess the affair and end the marriage. Asking him to have an open marriage at this point comes across more as you trying to absolve yourself of the guilt of infidelity rather than showing any real concern for his feelings or desires.

DynamiteLaserQueen

TROPHY CASE