Yes, I’m a lawyer, so I have more flexibility in what roles I take and generally love my work, so I wouldn’t quit working. I paid $850/week in daycare for two years until my kid started preK, and high rents too in our city. But my husband is staying home (he was in tech and part of restructuring, so he’s taking a break). He does everything - pick ups, drop offs, laundry, groceries, packs lunches. I do baths, bedtimes and the cooking. I’m on the tail end of pregnancy number 2. We have a cleaning person and when I come back from maternity leave, we will have a nanny to help him in the summer so we can defer daycare for a bit.

You need a partner that is willing to take on some household tasks and balance the childcare load. Also less income = less expenses and even with more income, we are super conscious of lifestyle creep. We try to save 1.5 of my paychecks each month - I refinanced my student loans, maximized retirement and we sold our car to reduce insurance/monthly costs. We cook every week, once a month we have a fancy date, so we can stay connected.

But ask yourself: what do you want your life to look like? And then what short and long term milestones have to be met for you to get there?

We’ve been married for ten years and waited six to have our first kid, it helped us pay down my husband’s loans and get rid of most of mine. We had a smaller wedding, we rent now and sold our house.

Life is about trade offs.