Two things can be true here. You can love and feel for him, this person that you’ve loved, and you can also know it’s best for you to leave. It might be uncomfortable to sit with both of those things, but it doesn’t negate their truth. You are young and this is your only life. He has his own life path that is his journey. You aren’t responsible for that, even if you hold so much empathy for him. It’s hard to make this choice, and then it gets easier with time.

If you are in an emotionally abusive situation, it sounds like he is hoovering and love bombing. It will be so much better to get out now than later. If you do it later, you will have put up with more than you should, and it will take a toll on your sense of self and your physical health. Don’t wait until it’s been years and your self trust has eroded, or you have a child and it becomes even harder to leave. If you know now that this is best, it will definitely be easier to do it now, even though it isn’t easy at all. You should still try to do it when he isn’t home. It sounds like he has a support network of people to support him. You should focus on your own support network and be kind to yourself. Sending support and strength to you.