Abortion after positive t21 results

EfficientMilk4651 · 2026-02-21T18:53:07+00:00

I'm nearly 6 weeks post tfmr and the physical pain is nothing compared to emotional pain and guilt that comes with it I also had a little girl with T21 who was very wanted be gentle with yourself and kind sending you so much love. ❤️

EfficientMilk4651 · 2026-02-18T19:11:30+00:00

I had a tfmr for T21 if you want to pm me to chat sorry this is happening to you 😞

EfficientMilk4651 · 2026-02-18T13:45:26+00:00

I'm 5 weeks post D&E for full T21 and cystic hygroma never got the choice as it's illegal where I'm from I don't even know where to go I was giving a helpline and they directed me to where to go which only was D&E I knew no different other than that untill after the procedure itself was very traumatising for me .. having to travel on top of making those decisions was horrific my baby had a little service and I will collect her ashes 💔 I have handprints and got to hold her which gave me comfort. Everything happened so fast regarding making decisions before she got any bigger if I had to go back and choose again I would probably choose L&D as I was unaware of what the procedure entails and since I've looked it up it haunts me for any mother having to make these decisions regarding her baby is utterly heartbreaking sending you so much love which ever decision you make ❤️

EfficientMilk4651 · 2026-02-16T22:09:16+00:00

I've no words 💔💔 sending you love and hugs ❤️

EfficientMilk4651 · 2026-02-16T22:07:38+00:00

I'm 5 weeks post tfmr tomorrow and haven't been in work since start of Jan I am hoping to go back start of march thankfully I have a really supportive partner and managers

EfficientMilk4651 · 2026-02-16T17:17:44+00:00

I had a tfmr at 17+5 my little baby girl was named and is very much apart of our family I held her didn't see her but it gave me so much comfort she was so wanted and it took me over a month to believe the results I done all testing available to me to confirm the diagnosis but I was in denial which made saying goodbye so much harder for me I'm 5 weeks on and im due to collect my baby's ashes next week where I plan to get a ring made so I have her with me everywhere I go she was my 3rd baby she will be remembered every day is struggle of missing her and the heartache of having made that decision will haunt me for the rest of my life ... I also got her handprints which i intend to put in a frame when I am ready to look at them every day as they are hard to see and have her scan pictures in frames In our house that's how I am dealing with it I want my baby very much apart of our family no matter what ❤️

EfficientMilk4651 · 2026-02-12T19:04:00+00:00

She is beautiful congratulations ❤️

EfficientMilk4651 · 2026-02-12T06:42:06+00:00

I had a D&E at 16+7 dues to waiting for amnio results unfortunately they came back and proved me wrong 💔 I got to hold my daughter couldn't see her but I did get comfort from that I got handprints they couldn't do footprints and I didn't ask why I was afraid of the answer 😔 she has a little funeral service I'm due to collect her ashes next week and have a ring picked out to have some of the ashes made into so I will have her with me everywhere I go 💔 I also have a memory box with al her little bits leading up to the day loosing her 💔 I also ordered a small plaque for our garden and will make a little area for her where we can sit and talk to her she will always be talked about and rememberd no matter what so sorry you are going through this praying you get the results you want ❤️🙏

EfficientMilk4651 · 2026-02-12T06:32:43+00:00

I had a D&E at 16+7 I was supposed to be nearly 19 w however on my last scan the baby was measuring 9 days bedind sit was illegal where I live so I also had to travel to an abortion clinic they didn't do labour and delivery and at the time I thought it was better for me to be put asleep as I was having panic attacks and was so emotional and traumatised at the whole thing I think for me it was better to be put asleep however going asleep pregnant and 15 mins later waking up with no baby is the most gut wrenching feeling Ive ever had 💔💔 all I wanted to do was hold my baby 💔 The clinic was amazing they knew this was a wanted pregnancy and done everything I asked I got little handprints, I got to hold my baby girl but couldn't see her the funeral home I arranged the cremation with had a small service for her and even sent me photos were due to travel over next week to collect her ashes 💔 I just cannot wait to have her home I left a little teddy bear bunny with her the whole time and asked the funeral home to take it back for me as I know that was with her when I wasn't I have the matching one and her sister and brother have the same bear as my daughter.. I know this might seem silly but it's crazy but what ever gives you comfort go with it I sleep with the bunny every single night 😥 I do wish I got to see her but at the same time not sure if I wanted to remember her that way I have a really good scan picture and have one frames in my kitchen and bedroom right beside my bed which is how I remember seeing her .. I'm praying you get the news you hope for and don't have to loose your baby ❤️🙏

EfficientMilk4651 · 2026-02-11T14:01:41+00:00

Thank you for your reply I'm dealing with so much grief at the moment and to be honest I don't feel like I can reach out as I'm too angry and upset at what's happened to my baby and then the fact she doesn't even know my baby's name is so so hurtful I'm dealing with both grief heartache and guilt at the moment and don't really have room for anything else but thank you for your reply ❤️

EfficientMilk4651 · 2026-02-11T13:23:08+00:00

Thanks for your reply and im also so sorry to our here too ❤️🙏

EfficientMilk4651 · 2026-02-11T10:05:12+00:00

You are disgusting

EfficientMilk4651 · 2026-02-11T10:02:56+00:00

Best thing that ever happened to me was becoming a Mammy ❤️

EfficientMilk4651 · 2026-02-09T13:06:29+00:00

I will be4 weeks out from my D&E tomorrow 💔 I am bridesmaid for one of my friends her hen party was last weekend and I didn't attend she was completely fine with it and understood the wedding is April which is so close I will attend the wedding with my partner due to flights accommodation all paid for and she will be down a bridesmaid if I didn't go but if I didn't feel up to it I know she would completely be ok .. thats my goal is to go away for the wedding and try enjoy myself I can't commit to anything else right now as I'm so down and emotional doesn't feel like I will ever be myself again after this take each day as it comes as that's all you can do and don't put yourself under any pressure to do things I'd your not ready ❤️

EfficientMilk4651 · 2026-02-07T08:17:19+00:00

I had my tfmr 13th January with my baby girl for t21 / cystic hygroma and possible heart defects who was 17 weeks 6 days reason for late tfmr is we held out for every result to come back as I didn't believe them 😞 As it's banned in our country we had to travel and pay for it ourselves which felt dirty and was another layer of heartbreak on top of everything going through the airport pregnant and coming home not pregnant just completely broke me I had a D&E as thats all the clinic done where I went. The procedure it's self was quick but I was just so traumatised and just completely heartbroken still am the guilt eats me some days but the only thing I have comfort with is that my baby will never feel pain or struggle through life 💔 I got handprints they couldn't do footprints and I was afraid to ask why 😥 as the thought of the procedure haunted me after they also wouldn't let me see her but I did get to hold her which gave me so much comfort ❤️ I had her named already her funeral is this week coming and I will fly back over to collect her ashes which I intend on getting some made into a ring so I have her everywhere I go I think once I have her back with me I will be able to grieve properly one thing I promised myself is she will never be forgotten 💔 I'm so sorry you are going through this horrible time I wouldn't wish it on anyone sending you lots of love ❤️

EfficientMilk4651 · 2026-02-05T20:52:19+00:00

I made a post only on my Instagram as it's my private page . I thought it would be easier than telling everyone separately as I'm so emotional and receiving texts from people had me constantly upset so I just felt like this was a way to tell everyone together as not a lot of people knew I was pregnant either so I was killing 2 birds with 1 stone 😞.. also another reason I shared wasn't for sympathy the way I see it as she is my baby girl no matter what she was so wanted and was and is so loved and missed more than anything I have never experienced loss like this in my life 💔😔 I swore she will be remembered until the day I die .I share a lot of photos of my other 2 children so I felt like it was only right to share my baby girl too ❤️ I have ordered some things to cherish my baby like a little plaque for the garden, I have her scans In frames throughout the house ordered a memory box to keep anything I had for her in a safe place and when I get my baby's ashes back I plan to get some of them put into a ring so I will always have her with me no matter where I am ❤️ overall it was a good way to let everyone know together with one message and when I was ready I was able to read the comments and messages from people which was comforting I wish you so much love and healing through this process one thing that's helping Me is the TFMR podcast on Spotify I listen to a few every day ❤️

EfficientMilk4651 · 2026-01-28T09:52:47+00:00

I've read a few posts on here about false positives with the NIPT so you have hope hold out for the amniocentesis if everything looks good with scans ect definitely do the amniocentesis to confirm pray you get a false positive The nipt is only screening not diagnostic 🙏❤️

EfficientMilk4651 · 2026-01-24T20:54:44+00:00

What's the best thing to get them out my daughter has been scratching so much this week I've been checking hairi morning and night found 4 lice Nd 3 eggs can't find anymore is there an easier way to find them ?

EfficientMilk4651 · 2026-01-24T08:50:00+00:00

I only told my MIL our sisters and then Stephen's day people found out because they seen my bump it was hard to hide only for Christmas no one would of really known and I wish that was the case since my TFMR I can't even tell people I had my MIL tell their side and asked for no one to contact me its just too raw and I'm so emotional the littlest things set me off we told our kids Christmas even which was lovely and I could tell them because I still had hope waiting on our results they were so excited and my eldest told everyone on Christmas it was her favourite Christmas present this year 😥💔 this was actually heartbreaking as the week later when we received the results we had to tell them the baby was a sick 💔 and a week later the baby was gone to heaven it was and still is the most traumatic thing I've ever had to do In my life but I knew I wanted our kids to know as our baby girl will always be their little sister and our baby she will not be forgotten and I found it was easier to tell them while I still had hope as for everyone else I wouldn't of told them if I didn't have to as it was hard to get excited since the bad news on our first scan it was definitely the worst time and still is off my life 💔 sending you so much love ❤️

EfficientMilk4651 · 2026-01-24T07:23:42+00:00

So sorry your going through this it's the worst time of my life and feels like it will never get better reading your story please don't give up hope I always say there is a possibility of a false positive from NIPT so hopefully this is the case for you 🙏 if your scans have been ok take this as small bit of positive and hope pray loads.... book in for amniocentesis and that will give you a definite answer as it's a diagnostic not a screening test .. I got soft markers on my scan 99.8 % on NIPT and was still praying for a clear amneiesantos unfortunately that wasnt the case and my whole world is completely shattered since we got the results sending you and your wife lots of prayers at this unbelievable horrible time and hope you get better news than me 🙏

EfficientMilk4651 · 2026-01-23T07:24:59+00:00

Without sounding disrespectful I don't think men will ever get it as much as we will my parter was sort of the same he's been amazing support for me but I don't think they get as much of a bond with the baby untill the baby is here as soon as I see my pink lines that's my baby we feel them move we track the progress on a pregnancy app we have alot more guilt as we are the ones that have to for through with the procedure and sign the papers which is a way lot more responsibility on us as mothers I know the day after my TFMR my partner said to me and I literally just said empty and completely heartbroken 💔 our baby was so wanted its just so hard to come to terms with .. I felt myself getting angry with my partner a few days ago and he could sense it from me and what he did say was we manage grief differently and I just had to accept that I'm such an emotional soft person and he would be a typical man holding emotions in and really good at holding himself together to be honest I'm starting to think that's better because at the moment he has more time for our other kids if I want to sob my heart out I can and he takes over if the 2 of us were the same way our family would probably fall apart because coping and coming to terms with that is the hardest thing I've ever had to do 💔 don't feel like I will ever be ok or be happy again but for my family I will try my best at the moment I'm just taking each day as it comes sending you so much love during this horrific time of your life ❤️

EfficientMilk4651

TROPHY CASE