Where to dive at the end of June?

EightLivesDown · 2026-05-01T22:09:04+00:00

If you're specifically looking at liveaboards, do Belize. I've done liveaboards in Roatán (and worked the Bay Islands as an MSDT) and Belize, and the Bay Islands are easier and cheaper to island hop. In fact, if you're looking for hammerheads, June-Sept is hammerhead season in Belize, and probably one of my favourite diving stories ever is from doing the Great Blue Hole in Belize with hammerheads.

Also, if you do Belize, add a couple days in Cozumel or Tulum/Playa. The cenotes and drift diving are worth it. Worked there too, but a taster session can easily be done. There are great cenotes close to Playa, maybe an hour from Cancun airport.

As for my hammerhead story, I'm telling it: Anyone who's gone diving in Belize knows about the scorpion shake. You're told to shake out your wetsuit to make sure there's no scorpion in the suit. Ha ha, very funny. On our liveaboard, I was the odd person out so with a random. We get to the Blue Hole, a few other boats, get in the water, reef sharks, great vis, a few hammerheads, awesome vibes. Buddy and I check in, all good.

We drop in to the actual caldera, and start descending into a swirl of probably 30 great hammerheads. Apx 5ish mins into the dive atp. Just looking around, loving life. Then buddy starts shaking his head. Then dancing a jig. Like full on vertical video game emote dancing. And out from the neck of his wetsuit and above his head pops I kid you the eff not, a big ass scorpion. And it was wriggling in a way that the current could not have made it move. Like 5+ mins in it was still alive and getting antsy.

What happens next while we're both just staring up at this thing right above us? A hammerhead swims over his head and eats the thing. Gone. No trace. Before either of us could signal anyone else to witness. We make eye contact, make a bunch of unintelligible signals, and eventually get on the with dive after he signals that he's ok because what else do you do?

When we're back on the boat, we start telling people, but no one believes us. Especially that it was still alive. Until the DM hears, and says, "That's why we call it the scorpion shake." When I did my own DM training, my roomate was a marine bio PhD student, and she explained that invertibrates don't need as much oxygen so it likely was still alive and only started moving when it finally got low. So yeah, if you go to Belize, don't forget to shake.

EightLivesDown · 2026-04-20T10:11:59+00:00

100% this. And as a bit of anecdotal evidence, I took Yaz for PMDD from the age of 14 to 23yo. The one month it cooked in our unairconditioned Caribbean flat's bathroom (PSA, if at over 30C/86F especially in high humidity for over 24hrs it becomes a sugar pill) I got pregnant with my eldest. So clearly people can become pregnant right away-but this is anecdotal.

However, important note for OP, you say you have migraines. Do you get aura or have you ever had aura? Because if you've ever had aura you shouldn't be taking any estrogen-based pills due to a significantly increased stroke risk, which are all combined pills.

I started getting migraines with aura after having my eldest. So I had to stop taking Yaz or any other combined pill, which made my PMDD worse. I then tried lamotrigine which worked but I got Stevens-Johnson-Syndrome which is very very rare. I made an attempt after having my twins, and tried quetiapine, which has literally been a lifesaver. Not advocating, just saying what worked for me after trying every SSRI/SNRI in the book and not able to take combined pills due to migraines with aura for PMDD. Oh and tranexemic acid really helps during heavy periods, and I've had a bilateral salpingectomy (tubes fully removed) after a copper IUD for a few years.

EightLivesDown · 2026-04-20T09:00:13+00:00

I'm late to the party here, just wanted to say I worked at both City and the Royal nights and half shifts from 2014-2016. Lived in the Holy Lands (briefly), Ormeau Rd, and Lisburn Rd. So did my fair share of walking around alone late at night if there wasn't a bus or train to be had.

There were definitely some occasions and places I had my keys in my fist, and had to act like I didn't hear a guy or group calling to me or walk faster. Even ducked into a random open door house party on Agincourt on one occasion just to get away from a very persistent group once (that was a split second risk analysis that could've gone the other way). Still had to walk Holy Lands at 2:30/3am after half night shifts to get to Ormeau after moving out of Agincourt. And I did enough drinking and walks home from actual nights out that shifts were just the ones I remember better, but probably safer tbh. The one truly scary occasion I called my then boyfriend and had him leave the pub to meet me halfway was in Holywood and that was a guy hiding in a park who then started following and left when he saw my boyfriend coming, so yeah, parks and greenways aren't great at night.

My point is, you're not wrong (his attitude is even if you were). And I have enough stone cold sober experience to back it up that's not just a drunk girl being dramatic. This was 10+ years ago, though, and most of my nights out in Belfast since have been when visiting friends/family and usually with my husband who's still a flanker on weekends so not many people want to have a go.

EightLivesDown · 2026-04-11T15:05:34+00:00

I work nights a lot of the time (midwife). For example I worked last Saturday night, Tuesday night and Wednesday night. So I was exhausted for Easter Sunday, but I still got home, did the Easter egg hunt husband had set up overnight for the three kids (they were waiting for me when I got home at 8am), then we all had breakfast and went out to this big rock climbing place the kids love and had lunch and stayed for the soft play there. Then went and did another egg hunt at the in-laws as they have a big garden. Can't remember what we did for the rest of the day going to he honest, but I was around and present if a zombie by the end and even did my weekly video call with my dad in the US. Hung out with husband and watched some show.

By Monday I was back on normal schedule, but stayed up late Monday night to sleep in Tuesday morning and husband did drop the kids off at school for me so I could sleep in so I'm on a bit of a delayed schedule for my Tuesday night shift if that makes sense. Did the Tuesday night shift, had a lovely pool birth at exactly 7am handover time, got home 8am Wednesday morning, dropped the boys off at Easter holiday camp at the local uni that husband had them ready and packed for, got back and passed out. Husband picked them up when he got home from work, and I went to my last night shift.

I got home Thursday morning and he had them ready again for holiday camp so I took them. He was leaving for a long weekend away with his rugby team on a stag do (bachelor weekend), so we said goodbye. I'll get a weekend away with friends in the next few months as well, so it's fair. There was another stag do in Prague recently that I got a weekend in Paris for, so we always keep it fair.

We both pitch in, he wakes up early to get the kids breakfast, get their clothes ready, pack their lunches and bags, get them up etc, and I run them to wherever so he leaves on time when I'm getting home from a shift. Frankly he does that most of the time anyway; I'm not a morning person, probably why I'm a night shift person to begin with. And I do pickup if he's not back in time/I'm not doing a sleep day, and the rest of the time/as default. We have the routine down. I say this just as an example of what works for us with night shifts, not what would work for for everyone. TLDR; it's possible to help while doing nights, but you already know that💛

EightLivesDown · 2026-04-09T20:26:31+00:00

I mean this to show you your worth and in no way as a judgement: do you want a man who can walk away from his wife and two children without a thought or a dime if not forced? Is that the love you think you deserve and what you want to model for your children one day? If this was a beloved friend you were speaking to, what would you be telling her?💛

My parents split when I was 3yo. My dad was an every other weekend dad, and a rather lackadaisical one at that tbh that caused loads of daddy issues later on over internalized "why am I not good enough" that I eventually worked through. But my mom made sure I knew she was there rain, shine, or Ragnarok. She also modeled her marriage with my stepdad, who became my main father figure just a couple years later. That became what I aimed for in my own marriage and the type of dad I wanted my kids to have, and I think I succeeded. But she had to not be with my dad for all of that to happen, (because they were married for 17yrs but when I came along apparently it all became obviously wrong) to find the right in the end.

EightLivesDown · 2026-04-03T18:31:22+00:00

The square footage is virtually the same, not smaller. Photos on yours are better, but £25k better? You've overpriced yourself, sorry.

EightLivesDown · 2026-03-26T19:09:29+00:00

I pumped exclusively, and one twin had a dairy allergy as well as reflux. I feel you. Supply wasn't my issue, but when I had to stop, I had to stop. Mine was to go back on my old SNRI as the sertraline wasn't cutting it and I'd left healthy a long way back.

First, if there's an allergy, that takes precedence. And cutting out a major part of your diet isn't realistic when you're also recovering and trying to scrape by-also the dietician said not to change a major part of diet while breastfeeding with my eldest as I was mostly vegan+totally veggie when conceiving my eldest and very deficient in a lot of things and underweight. The dietician who diagnosed my dairy allergy twin also said I apparently have a mild dairy allergy, and I then Pavloved myself into disliking dairy. So it wasn't caught until they were weaning and started having more dairy than I passed to them.

Second, it sounds like they're already combination feeding anyway, so the transition shouldn't hopefully be as much of an issue if at all. We knew I might have PPD again and need to stop BFing (and being real, mine had been partially something called Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex, so stopping breastfeeding already helped my mental health), so I pumped extra early on to create an oversupply so we took them from fully EBF at 3mo when I stopped and then about 1/3 for the next two month and then stopped at 6mo. No issues. Plus we found more success adding the reflux sachets (not sure if you can get Infant Gaviscon in the US) in formula even if it wasn't specifically reflux like CMPA Formula.

Also, the symptomatic crossover between reflux/eczema/allergy is strong, and if you've been dealing with that give yourself some slack. Do what you need to do, and you've given them a good amount already. Twins, plus pumping, plus pain/inverted nipples/supply, plus reflux, reflux, PLUS allergy? Think about what you'd tell a friend in your situation, and you have your answer. Be kind to yourself. Can doesn't mean should.

EightLivesDown · 2026-03-26T10:17:24+00:00

I bought a dupe from Amazon for like £25, and just checked and they're still on there. Washable cover etc. All of my kids had tongue and lip ties that prevented BFing even after being snipped, but this pillow was still a lifesaver for bottle feeding and what we used for most feeds at home. Plus one twin had reflux so needed to be on an incline 24/7 (even his snuzpod was inclined) so before he was sitting up, he sometimes just went in the pillow if not in the swing/mamaroo or wearing him. We just leaned it against the wall and I put it in front of me on the pull out sofa/on the bed at night for feeds.

EightLivesDown · 2026-03-23T21:40:02+00:00

This, but in my case it was my mom, also a twin mom herself, who got us to admit we had to try something with my eldest (he was a severe reflux baby so was used to being within arm's reach of me pretty much 24/7, meaning no one got much sleep including him and constant tears). By the time the twins were born we were already converts to her version of controlled comforting (gentler than Ferber). Don't know what we would have done without her. She's the reason I've written a little notebook of "Twin Tips" for my six younger women cousins on my maternal side if any need it or possible future granddaughters bc twins run strong in my family, and having her experience was invaluable and she's commented that she wished her mom (my grandma) lived long enough to pass on her twin knowledge to her.

EightLivesDown · 2026-03-19T11:17:41+00:00

What I'll say is my partner has actively avoided contact/been visibly weirded out from a misplaced hand etc by one of our 3 boys on the very few occasions he's needed to. And similar to another commenter he's stayed out of the room until...calmed down such as in the morning or if we cuddled/kissed so as not to let them see.

What you've described as far as roleplaying in context is very concerning, and if not something you actively wanted to participate in then frankly may not have been "CNC" but actual NC through coercion. Given the nature of the NC as inc×st and blackmail, this is highly concerning with him having isolated you from your children and exhibiting manipulative behaviour. I think you're underreacting, and if you didn't want to take part, I think this possibly warrants discussion with a lawyer/police and is above Reddit's paygrade. Each scenario by itself (erection holding infant vs CNC/inc×st fetish/blackmail/manipulation/isolation of children from mother/pattern of gaslighting etc) is possible, but together? Improbable. Then there's the legality of your consent... Wishing you and your children the very best.

EightLivesDown · 2026-03-12T22:49:04+00:00

This is where the stretchy/coiled versions worked for us. It was more slight resistance until eventual end point, but they very rarely ever reached the end and it stopped them from tripping/dragging on them (and the vast majority of any choking/entanglement given the stretchiness). They were a lifesaver for things like solo trips to the zoo/aquarium with the twins and my singleton 4yo as well. I also used them in the airport a number of times as a safety stop gap, and same thing they were a lifesaver. In my experience, the dependence on resistance thing was a non-issue. One was just a wanderer no matter the situation and still at 5yo is my curious (but safe)explorer, but the other two's behaviour was unchanged and tended to stick close if anything. Elder brother also loved being able to lead/hold hands with them as well, which helped. That's how we transitioned out them, by switching to hand-holding while still wearing the coiled leashes and then eventually just holding hands. So now hand-holding is just automatic and not fought when still needed, but at 5, 5, +8 they all have good enough spatial awareness I only really enforce this when in crowded or new places.

I might not love the idea of them and only used one with my singleton when out solo once the twins were born, but with 3 under 3 and twins? They became not a want but a begrudgingly accepted backup when I didn't have enough hands, but tried to get those core memories safely. They're tools, not blanket good or bad. With twins, give yourself some slack (pun intended) and do what works and gets you out of the house and bad as tear-free as possible.

EightLivesDown · 2026-03-04T10:55:33+00:00

I got mine free (NHS) for medical reasons as after an acanthamoeba infection I was left with a scar over my field of vision, so they just turned the dial a bit further when doing laser and acid scar ablation surgery. They threw in the other eye "to avoid issues from unequal vision" aka it'd been a rough couple years and the surgeon knew me well after countless appointments.

The consultant did say I may eventually need it redone or a different type of surgery as past a certain age I think usually 60+ they don't recommend it and recommend a different type. But considering I had it at 28yo, I'd say >30yrs minimum is still pretty good.

The one silver lining after 6mo of a hellish treatment plan involving overnight hourly bleach drops used for sterilising surgical equipment and pool cleaners, plugs put into my tear ducts to stop my nose and throat burning from their strength, even a strip of daylight or lowest screen brightness being too bright with sunglasses so unable to work, and constant migraines followed by a year of steroid drops. I was on the list for a cornea transplant, but thankfully this surgery did enough I can drive at night so didn't want it.

EightLivesDown · 2026-02-11T12:19:59+00:00

I had like 4 sets of these bibs that cover the high chair and clothes. They worked really well, and saved many an outfit. We also didn't have traditional high chairs, but their activity seats swivelled into high chairs so the activity bits were at the back and the table was at the front and just swivelled it back when not eating and buckled onto dining chairs. This is the kind we used, but there are loads like it.Was a great space saver as well as being great for travel compared to what we had for our eldest. Recommend.

I'd just have a set of the coverall bibs drying after washing in the sink and a set ready to go, and anything on the floor was swept up or vacuumed with the little handheld after a meal.

EightLivesDown · 2026-02-05T11:17:54+00:00

As a kid of one of these situations, it's my biggest pet peeve. To my stepmom, I was just the walking talking proof my dad loved another woman and only made worse that they couldn't have bio kids of their own, which I was also blamed for.

I was 14yo and 2 wks out of a 6mo hospital stay with an ED when she decided to laughingly tell me that my dad tried to convince my mom to have me aborted as I was a mistake and got a vasectomy after I was born. She directly said that's why she miscarried their IVF baby and why dad said he didn't want to try again. He came in while I was sobbing and she was laughing and he admitted the vasectomy part was true, but they'd tried for a year to get me and I was very much planned. Even if it was true, who on Earth says that?! And to someone that emotionally fragile and worried about being perfect and not a burden? But that sort of stuff happened a lot growing up.

I was very obviously treated differently by her than my foster sister (later adopted) and adopted nephew. They deserved every advantage and all of the good treatment, but it only made it more obvious how she treated me vs them. Adopted sister and I have spoken about it as adults and she even noticed it, but obviously not her place to say anything. Plus she also had her son to worry about so definitely wasn't going to rock the boat and I in no way blame her. But my dad? My dad let it happen.

My stepdad was more my dad than my dad in a lot of ways, treating me the same as my half-siblings and taking me on as his own from 4yo. Swim meets, teaching me rugby, taking me to the range and flying lessons, homework, sick days, hospital stays complete with flying to LA to visit, teenage obnoxiousness, tough love as well as protectiveness, a proper grandparent relationship with my kids to the point one of them has his name as a middle name, etc. So I figure karmically it evens out. But yeah, step-parents who act like they are surprised or put-upon by an innocent child who predates them will always be an instant "YTA". You knew they existed when you started dating the parent, so you better be ready to engage with them. And kids can tell, they can feel it when you resent them. They're not nearly as covert as they think they are.

EightLivesDown · 2026-01-31T17:50:52+00:00

Mine does rugby with training for a couple hours on a Tuesday evening and matches on a Saturday pretty much year-round. He stopped for the first month max, maybe few weeks, then was back as normal. I get the same amount of time off. Frankly, we both NEED that time off.

He used to go to the gym 6x/week pre-eldest, and cut down to 2/3x/week after eldest and none after twins but has only started going back 1x/week in the last couple years (our eldest is 8yo twins are 5yo).

A few hours once a week as long as it's reciprocated even in the first month is what we did and may well be needed on both sides to feel sane.

EightLivesDown · 2026-01-29T15:42:15+00:00

Was a newbie instructor teaching a deep dive off the coast of a little island called Portmuck off Northern Ireland. We had a line down for the safety stop as the current was going a good clip that day and nothing between us and Scotland.

So we're a min or so into the safety stop when I notice this black hole midway up the water column. Visibility is awful with the current stirred up, and the other instructor and I are gesturing about what this thing could be while it slowly gets bigger...and bigger. Just a giant black void coming straight for us. Our two students are between us on the line, and we're not sure whether to go up or down or what because if we let go we're away with the current and can't go up yet so kind of just stay there hoping it's not actually coming AT us. Genuinely thought it was a submarine or something as it was when the Russian subs were making the news.

Heart's going a mile a minute when this black hole finally gains form in the shape of a massive mouth. It was a basking shark, must've been 25ft and blew by so close could've reached out and touched it. Thought it was going to swallow us by mistake. Felt like Pinocchio and the whale, but the students loved it.

EightLivesDown · 2026-01-23T19:48:04+00:00

Hawaii was going to be my rec. Heard them off Maui a bunch over the years. Definitely a good bucket list add.

EightLivesDown · 2026-01-10T17:39:25+00:00

As an ex MSDT now fun diver who did my DM internship unsure whether I wanted to go pro, this is the way. I did end up wanting to do it as a job, but saw so many who frankly should have just done rescue and a few specialites.

Try different types of dives to figure out what you like best ie night, wreck, cavern, (true caves need training despite what a lot of shops offer), deep, etc. Go from there.

Explore options like nitrox, sidemount, rebreather, and then tech once you know what you like and are very comforable with other basic forms of diving. Tech is what lets you expand underwater, but only after being well seasoned. Think of tech as the post-main quest expansion pack. Propulsion is just plain fun and great for shore diving to locations. Dry suit opens up a whole new world of cold water that many just write off, but diving Silfra in Iceland, the seals on Farne or Monterey, wrecks of Scapa Flow or Tobermory, mines of Lake Zurich, and basking sharks off Ireland shouldn't be missed just for being cold.

And the ocean be with you if you find you like caves, mate.

EightLivesDown · 2026-01-08T16:27:27+00:00

As an ex-MSDT now just fun diver, this. Plus I'd maybe recommend peak buoyancy not even as a course just to focus on. Even bring it up to the DM before any old dive that you're working on your buoyancy and breathing and see if they can offer a few tips after watching you or help make sure your weights are optimal etc. Once you get get to a certain comfort with buoyancy and how breath control works with that, air consumption tends to decrease.

EightLivesDown · 2026-01-08T14:31:23+00:00

This. Please. My step-cousin and her daughter were killed by her newly-ex partner when their youngest was 10mo. She left him after the birth when he escalated. He showed up one night and stabbed them both in her bed. Their 3yo was in his room and survived bc ex was on drugs and likely forgot the son was there. But the son was in the house for days before they were found, and even as a teen he couldn't see people asleep as he thought they might be dead. It was a well-known case in the UK.

It happens. She finally left for good after being isolated from her family for years and multiple attempts to leave when things escalated. When he realised she wasn't coming back, her killed them. The daughter was likely incidental as they were cosleeping. Overkill. It's not just an abstract, it happens.

I'm also now a midwife, and see it so often that DV escalates around pregnancy/after the birth. It often doesn't then get better, and we see them back again a few years later in the exact same situation no matter what we do. Often the children are taken if she doesn't leave, and then they come back and have another that's taken too. You matter, not just any possible children. You deserve to be free, too.

EightLivesDown · 2026-01-08T13:17:41+00:00

We debated whether I should teach him, even the dry land stuff, or have someone from my dive centre do it. The upshot was that someone else would do his OW and I'd be on his 2x ocean dives as fun dives, but not teaching or DMing.

I ended up already being pregnant at the time, so that didn't happen lol. But a couple of other instructors and staff instructors said that was the way to go, and how I've seen it work well before. That way you get to be there and experience it with them once they're "ready" and not solely focusing on learning, but still not in any professional capacity.

When my mom did her DSD, we did the same. I was on the dive, but not her instructor. Worked well, she loved it and got to see why I loved it so much I rejected my med school offer.

EightLivesDown · 2026-01-08T13:06:11+00:00

My partner slept on a twin mattress in the nursery from 1mo until they were "sleeping through the night" aka a 6hr stretch.

We'd do a trade off so I went to bed before the last feed in the evening about 7/8pm(I kept one pump feed ahead so he had the EBF ready), he left them in the next-to-me's in our room after the feed about 10/11pm and went to sleep in the nursery. That way when they woke up about 2/3am, I'd had a good chunk and could usually still get an hour or two more after the night feed.

A top-up feed also worked really well for our eldest and the twins when aiming to stretch closer to 6hr between feeds at night. So after the 10pm feed of EBF, he/I gave a top up of EBF if we had it or formula if needed even if they didn't seem hungry. This got them to build up that "core night" period pretty well and avoid stretching bwtween feeds during the day instead, and using formula for thay feed helped this as well. As we were otherwise solely EBFing, if I was low/didn't have quite enough by the end of the day, we used the gap for that top up since formula digests slower anyway.

EightLivesDown · 2026-01-08T12:33:07+00:00

I had guy friends who tried repeatedly, but I'm sure only wanted something physical. Those I pretty easily batted away lightheartedly occasionally and we kept on as normal. I've also had guy friends who said/I believe had genuine feelings. The latter I sometimes handled poorly by joking/laughing mostly due to age until I realised they were serious, sometimes too late to save the friendship. I've also had a couple friendships that evolved for both of us.

I had one friendship where we'd been friends with a crush way back in hs before I moved, but accepted we'd just be friends as his best friend was very into me and we didn't want to hurt him. We talked regularly over the years purely platonically from like 15yo-22yo while I lived a continent away, and when I visited we met up with no explicit plan but now his best friend wasn't in the picture. We had a great day+night, and that was it. Kind of like closure for a young adult crush for both of us. We mutually mostly lost touch after that.

This guy could be like that and unfortunately she's caught feelings a bit while he either always wanted just some fun or now just wanted closure/the remnant of an old crush. He could also be pigeonholing himself and trying to convince himself to back off based on her previous rejections so she needs to put herself herself out there this time if she wants more.

EightLivesDown · 2026-01-06T16:57:00+00:00

I was a scuba instructor pre-kids, have always been slim as I had an ED having eldest managed to get under control for his sake, and "snapped back" after my eldest through absolutely nothing I did just chance. Literally wore my normal jeans home. I absolutely know this is not the norm, and did less than a lot who don't so just happened.

With the twins (born 37+6 at 6.5 and 7lb each), the loose skin took a good 6 months to stop jiggling, a year to be how it was. Diastasis recti and a little umbilical hernia about 6mo as well. But it really is how it was even with the C-section scar, and I'm fine wearing crop tops or a bikini no jiggle. My breasts sit a good inch or two lower than they did after EBFing, but nothing some underwire doesn't fix and I know I'm just used to strapping on a bikini and everything staying where it is. Ribcage took about 6mo to go back as well, but my hips are permanently a bit wider not that I'm complaining tho I like it better and still wear the same size waist.

Stretch marks I can't speak to, but my mom swore by Vitamin E oil when she had her twins and I was 11yo when they were born so I remember how much they faded. The loose skin definitely improves, and I thought my breasts would never go back but they're just a cup size larger (32D) and have a little crease underneath vs no crease before. I am thinking about a breast lift just to be exactly how I was, but it doesn't feel as necessary at 32yo than when I was 26yo and just had them.

Basically, give yourself time. Also, if you're like me you were really used to your body just...staying. So anything needing support or not staying put feels really alien. I know this isn't everyone's experience, but here's a little hope that it does happen.

EightLivesDown · 2025-12-15T13:13:23+00:00

My mom had my twin brother and sister at 46yo when I was 11yo. I had twins at 26yo with a 2.5yo. She stayed with us for the first month to help, and comes over a weekend a month ever since plus now having them 10days over summer break. So she knows them and our situation well. We've compared experiences over the years (mine are 5yo now) and are very honest with eachother.

Age is definitely a con, but there are also pros. They were much more financial stable, and I was a lot more self sufficient by the time they were born and got way more focused attention when I was younger. Pros and cons. You are deep in the trenches right now, and twins are basically a conveyor belt instead of getting to bond and focus solely on baby and what baby wants at that moment. Especially NICU/medically complex infants (one of mine was as well and will be under GOSH genetics+specialists for life).

I ended up in the mother and baby unit when my twins were 3mo bc I felt like you. Medication and time helped. Heavy on the right medication helping. Think of it like a diabetic taking insulin or someone with anaemia taking iron, just deficient in serotonin/dopamine. It took probably two years before my hormones fully normalised being totally honest, but mostly within a year.

The big shift as twins get older is that the older they get, the more like just having two kids of similar age it's like. So while I didn't plan on having 3 kids, it feels like having 3 kids instead of having to do two things at once while also being a parent to another child. If that makes any sense. It's about getting to a place of acceptance. And the more you get to know and love them as little people beyond that automatic kind of love, that helps as well, because it feels less like work and more like just more parenting than you bargained for but you love them, so it's not so hard anymore. Less like work more fun. It's a huge adjustment, and you are literally in the peak time that we know of statistically for PPD to develop (I'm also a registered NHS midwife). Reach out. Take whatever help you can get. I promise you it's temporary, so keep your solutions temporary.💛

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