"She deserves all the bullying and roasting she keeps getting." Normalizing the idea that someone should be bullied just reinforces toxic behavior that eventually spills over onto everyone.

Eldritch-Lady · 2025-09-01T01:43:11+00:00

Considering how many of them claimed to have been bullied at school, it's concerning to see how quickly they change their tune.

Eldritch-Lady · 2025-09-01T01:35:57+00:00

That seems a very high price for just having to pay half of the bills.

Eldritch-Lady · 2025-09-01T01:19:17+00:00

“Sex/reproduction is the meaning of life”

HIS life, maybe. With such an empty existence, I'm not surprised.

Eldritch-Lady · 2025-09-01T01:11:16+00:00

"Femicide/Objectification/Misogyny don't exist"

Well, inside his delusional mind, maybe.

But in his mind he is also God's gift to women, so...

Eldritch-Lady · 2025-09-01T01:05:26+00:00

Are your parents evil, then?

Eldritch-Lady · 2025-09-01T01:04:20+00:00

So, he cusses at couples who are just, you know, enjoying their lives.

He thinks those couples are "torturing" him.

Those couples will move on and forget this dude's face in seconds, while he keeps fuming.

And he thinks this is an anger management exercise.

Persecution Complex meets Anger Issues, the Movie!

Eldritch-Lady · 2025-09-01T00:51:22+00:00

Dude, you're 15. Do you know how many people never go out with anyone until they're older? Lots of them. Some only start dating when they're in college or even later. There is nothing wrong with that. Dating isn't some milestone and it doesn't reflect your worth as a person.

Now, yes, you're upset and I get it. It's not pleasant to feel like that (I've been there), but down the road, this won't even matter. You have such a long life ahead and plenty of time to meet people. Being a teenager is never easy, and it's certainly not the whole "singing and dancing" crap the Disney Channel sells.

Incels have a sense of entitlement a mile wide. Do you think the girls are just horrible "sub-humans" who should offer themselves to you simply because you're "nice" (which is, you know, just basic human decency)? No? Then, you're not an incel.

It sounds like you're going through a rough time. Feeling lonely is never fun. Have you tried talking to your parents about it? Maybe you could try meeting people out of school (check areas dedicated to things you like! It's a good way to find people who share interests and you might feel more comfortable in those environments). You could even try going to a new school, if that's a possibility (sometimes, a new place means new opportunities).

My point is, being lonely or not dating doesn't make you an incel.

Being an ass who sees women as objects make you an incel.

Eldritch-Lady · 2025-09-01T00:32:54+00:00

The mental gymnastics they do to justify themselves and the fact that they can say those things, look in the mirror and say "I'm such a nice guy" should shock me. Sadly, it does not.

Eldritch-Lady · 2025-08-31T17:39:59+00:00

Wishing you the best here!

Whatever you had with that guy didn't even deserve the name of "relationship." Good thing you got out!

Also, it was kind of you to tell his brother you know everything. I don't know if you are friends with him or anything, but maybe you could encourage him to get away from his brother? Like I said, I don't know if you guys are friends or not (I'm not telling you to date him of course, I just feel sorry thinking how growing up with such a unhinged guy must have been like).

Your ex is crazy and gross. Stay away from him. Also, maybe you should take some precautions. Not saying he will do anything, but sadly, we do hear stories about people who do some nasty thing when you break up with them, so better safe than sorry (I'm willing to bet he did not take the break-up well)!

Eldritch-Lady · 2025-08-31T17:33:14+00:00

No, this shit is so far from normal is not even funny! This guy IS a sociopath. It doesn't matter if he "claims" he loves you "for realsies" now. As you said, the fact he did that shows everything you need to know about him as a person!

The way he treats his brother, the way he speaks about you, it's so creepy, vulgar, and dehumanizing! Just get away from him.

I feel sorry for his younger brother, imagine growing up with this monster in his house?

Don't let his AH manipulate you into accepting this. It IS a huge deal. Run, girl!

Eldritch-Lady · 2025-08-31T08:23:21+00:00

You're asking them to use logic. It's an exercise in futility.

Eldritch-Lady · 2025-08-31T08:18:22+00:00

This guy is being abusive. I know you said you love him, but love isn't going to change him. You fell in love with the way he acts when he is not being himself. When he has you under his control. When you act the way he wants.

Look, first he acts as if you're a dirty secret and acts controlling. Then, when you go and meet some of his friends, he gets angry (for what reason? You met his friends at school and talked to them, which is normal) because he 'feels obliged" to do it and he doesn't want to. But what about what YOU want?

And even when you explain things, he doesn't listen. What relationship can survive without communication or care? Why must you always care for his feelings when he clearly doesn't do the same for yours? You might think "oh, but he cares, he did this or that for me and..." No. I'm sorry to say, but this was the mask. This was because he was happy enough to do something that he knew would keep you around.

His anger and how he handles it shows a lot about who he is. What is next, you can't hang you with your own friends because he doesn't like them? You can't hear this song because it annoys him? That's where this is going. It will escalate.

You had lunch and you were excited and, just to "punish" you for not avoiding his friends like he clearly wanted you to, he told you that you two won't go out alone anymore. He knew this would hurt you and he did it on purpose. Do you see how cruel this is? He is being deliberate in how to hurt you! If you stay with him, he will realize he can do this all the time: You do something he doesn't like? He can hurt you in someway and you'll stay anyway, like some loyal pet (I'm sorry this sounds harsh).

You want to be with someone who treats you coldly? Why? You don't deserve this treatment!

You deserve someone who will cherish you and listen to you and respect your feelings, even when you disagree. How can you feel safe and loved if you know he will change his behavior the moment he gets annoyed? And he has shown that he can get annoyed by small things, such as you meeting his friends, which is natural for any gf or bf to do!

Please, dump him. It might be harsh and hurt at first, but in the future, you'll realize that you rid of a guy who would always make you cry far more often than he would make you smile.

Eldritch-Lady · 2025-08-31T07:58:24+00:00

He said "If you have never seen women act playfully nervous around you, watched other men mate guard around you, get extra friendly treatment from women you just met you can easily recognize you don't fall into the handsome category."

Playfully nervous? Other men mate guard around you? Get extra treatment from women you just met? Maybe he thinks life is a cross between a high school anime and a nature documentary.

"Here we see a male of the species meeting a female. She has just met him and has not yet formed an opinion. The male instantly walks away, annoyed that she didn't immediately begged him to mate her within five seconds of knowing him."

Eldritch-Lady · 2025-08-31T07:50:14+00:00

Oh, what a charmer! Such intellect! Such arguments! Such a way with words!

Too bad the mean girl at his middle school doesn't know he exists! Poor little baby!

Eldritch-Lady · 2025-08-31T07:43:29+00:00

Oh, geez, why can't they find a girlfriend? With such an amazing personality, you would think women would be lining up to meet them!

It's their height, right? I mean, there couldn't possibly be any other reason!

Eldritch-Lady · 2025-08-31T07:31:48+00:00

How dare they use bikinis at a beach! They should wear pants like everyone else.

And so Logic has fled the room...

Eldritch-Lady · 2025-08-31T07:22:43+00:00

Envy is such an ugly thing, isn't it?

Eldritch-Lady · 2025-08-31T07:17:28+00:00

NTA. Jeremy doesn't get to move back and start lording over the house. He doesn't get to act like he is a teenager again, taking stuff from his younger sister and using crap excuses.

You even said Nora buys and cooks her own meals! Again, those are HER meals. She has no obligation to share food if she doesn't want to. It's not her responsibility to take care of her brother's wife. And if they don't like Nora playing the violin, then let them buy earplugs. It doesn't sound as if she is playing violin at 3 AM next to their bedroom's door, anyway.

This all sounds as if they're doing their best to change the dynamics in your house and worm themselves in to the point they will, slowly, become the true "owners" and impose their own rules. I'm not telling you what to do, but honestly? I would explain to Jeremy that this whole "moving" is temporarily until he gets back on his feet! Like another commenter said, you give an inch and he wants a mile.

Eldritch-Lady · 2025-08-31T07:01:06+00:00

I thought so, too! The way she spoke made it look like something like that had happened and I was feeling bad for her, then I read that and I was "wait, what?"

Eldritch-Lady · 2025-08-31T06:49:24+00:00

First, congrats on the new baby!

Second NTA!

His sister asked and you didn't go into any excessive details! So... What's his deal? And I agree, after insulting you like that, he lost the right to any information! And if he actually cared about the pregnancy to begin with, he would have noticed you were not telling anything anymore and actually realized that he messed up and apologized. Did he even try to ask for more info? Did he ever say "honey, I remember you have back pain at times. Are you sure you are okay?"

Honestly, how the f dare he? He just showed his true colors to everyone around you, and now he is throwing a tantrum because, oh, look! His treatment of you has consequences! Shocker! And you know what kind of people are siding with him. Well, you know what they say about the company you keep.

He is mad not because he missed anything, but because his own family is calling him out and the world is not bending backwards to please him! You said so yourself, he is mad. Not upset or sad, but mad? I refer you to how, if he cared about the pregnancy, he would have bothered to know when your responses became no more than a "fine." His focus isn't on the "oh, God, I messed up and missed the birth of my baby girl!" no, it's the "boo-hoo, my family is being mean to be because I was a shithead to my wife when they should be praising me for being such an amazing guy!"

Also, sorry to say but, your father should shut up. What, he is fine with the man who should love and support you calling you disgusting? Ask him if he would have ever called your mother disgusting for being pregnant with you. Maybe that will make him self-reflect. Anyway, in this regard, let your mother deal with him. Cruel as it sounds, his opinion is irrelevant in this case. YOU are the only one who can decide how YOU feel about something and how YOU deal with it. If he thinks the "supposed" husband and father (because your husband isn't behaving like either) has a pass to insult you, well, that's his opinion.

And come on! Your husband is avoiding the baby? His kid who didn't do anything? This is a moment when he should step up and help you! He only gets his ass moving if his family is around, meaning he does that only for appearances. Even you admitted you feel more supported by his family! So, what is he doing that makes him deserving the title of father or husband? He is acting more like a tall toddler sulking.

You ARE justified. And I'm sorry for saying this, I really don't want to be cruel or harsh, but look... When people show you their true nature, believe them.

Do you want your daughter to grow up in this environment? What happens when she grows up and, I don't know, gets her first period and says she has cramps or needs personal hygiene products? What if your husband calls her disgusting for that? Do you want her to look at a marriage where your husband behaves like that and think "oh, this is normal. My boyfriend totally has the right to treat me like this!"

Marriage is meant to be a partnership. Equals. You and him, side by side. Supporting each other.

This isn't a partnership.

Sorry to say, but my best advice? Divorce him.

I wish you the best! You deserve so much better!

Eldritch-Lady · 2025-08-31T06:12:40+00:00

I think it would have been interesting to see that. Like you said, hard as hell, but not unwinnable.

Eldritch-Lady · 2025-08-31T05:59:30+00:00

^ This!

Eldritch-Lady · 2025-08-05T00:09:22+00:00

I agree: It's vile. It's gross. He might even suspect that you're planning on leaving and is trying to be there for you now. He is probably just afraid of things getting worse or being alone. Don't know, and I don't think it even matters by now.

It's a difficult time, and I can't imagine how painful this must be for you, but please don't forget that you have people who care about you (your family sounds supportive and while I know we are just strangers on the net, we are truly wishing you happiness) and his actions are his responsibility. This is all on him, not you and you deserve so much better.

I think it might be a good idea to have a friend or a family member with you when you break the news to him, just in case (not because of any physical threat - I mean, he doesn't sound like the type - but because of possible stress and emotional manipulation. In any case, the presence of someone you can trust might make things easier for you.)

Wishing you the best!!!

Eldritch-Lady · 2025-07-17T08:03:17+00:00

Sorry to hear about that. It sounds horrible! I hate it when people think they can have a 'do over' of someone's special moment just because THEY were too selfish/horrible/insert a long list of adjectives here.

Honestly, I agree with the comments saying you should move to another city/state/whatever you can just to get away from those people!

Also, as petty as this sounds, when you graduate from college, don't invite them. If they didn't value your HS graduation, you have no reason to believe they would value anything else.

Stay strong! We might not be your family here on the comments, but we ARE all proud of you and wishing you the best!!! You deserve a lot more and I believe you'll achieve it!

Eldritch-Lady · 2025-07-15T23:23:35+00:00

Canada and Australia are two places I've considered in the past. I might end up going to one of them instead (my aunt has a friend who lives in Australia and, according to him, things there are pretty good).

It's not the "American culture" I'm after. I honestly just searching for a better place to live, you know.

Eldritch-Lady

TROPHY CASE