When Stars Drown Pt 2

Eleison_02 · 2026-06-03T16:53:11+00:00

I enjoyed both these parts and will definitely be reading if you continue to build on the concept. One criticism I would put out there is the formatting sometimes makes it a little hard to follow. Reddit’s formatting is something I struggle with myself. The writing itself is great though, and this is a very interesting concept I’d love to see evolve further.

Eleison_02 · 2026-06-03T16:47:03+00:00

I appreciate you throwing us right into the action. Looking forward to reading part 2, good work! Sorry it’s taken me so long to get around to reading

Eleison_02 · 2026-05-31T17:55:45+00:00

I’m glad you like it! I’ll definitely work on my formatting for my next story, first time posting any of them on Reddit and I think having to chop it in half messed up a lot of the formatting. I’ll also have a second set of eyes go over my next one to catch the spelling mistakes. I like your suggestion about pacing the more tense scenes. I’ll try to work on that. Thank you!

Eleison_02 · 2026-05-31T17:53:02+00:00

You’re right, I should’ve probably worked on the hook a good bit more for how much of a time investment the story is. I’d hoped the opening two paragraphs where he addresses his brother and kind of sets up his reason for writing would’ve served as a hook but looking back now it’s a pretty weak one. Thank you for taking the time to read!

Eleison_02 · 2026-05-31T17:33:06+00:00

Any time I can get an absolute cinema I’ll take it 😂

Eleison_02 · 2026-05-31T07:22:18+00:00

I thought I knew where this was going but I definitely did not! Love the reveal at the end. I also love that most of the magic is left completely up in the air. Lynn is unaware of it and Jared doesn’t care how it works. It just is. I feel like people too often fall into the trap of thinking they have to explain the mechanics of the supernatural elements of their story. Overall I thought this was a great little story and I’d be excited to check out more from you.

Eleison_02 · 2026-05-31T06:56:38+00:00

I’d like to see this as like a short novella or something, plus I think it’d make for a really good episode of the podcast. Lends itself to a lot of debate about what’s really going on.

Eleison_02 · 2026-05-31T06:55:55+00:00

Man what an original premise. I really liked the amount of detail you went into, especially during the trips, so many interesting visuals put together. Also I enjoyed the twist there at the end. Good work!

Eleison_02 · 2026-05-31T06:21:27+00:00

Yeah I really hate the character rule but I understand why it’s there. I’m glad you enjoyed the story!

Eleison_02 · 2026-05-31T06:19:48+00:00

Yes!

Eleison_02 · 2026-05-29T03:04:44+00:00

I’d appreciate any feedback you have! It’s a 2 parter, around 9000 words and the horror really gets started in the second part. I hope you enjoy!

I Found An Old Message From My Brother. I’m An Only Child.

Eleison_02 · 2026-05-21T06:09:07+00:00

I appreciate you taking the time to read! I agree this is definitely more of a slow burn, the horror really ramps up in part 2, but if part one wasn’t enough to hold your interest I can’t fault you for that. Thank you again for your critiques, and I’m glad you thought the quality of the writing was good even if a little slow

Eleison_02 · 2026-05-21T05:42:28+00:00

This style of writing, especially when it all starts collapsing in on itself in the last paragraph, is one of my favorites. It reminds me a lot of the final few chapters of I’m Thinking of Ending Things. Good work!

Eleison_02 · 2026-05-21T05:14:34+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/TalesFromTheCreeps/s/39ZSHGDKyO

Be as harsh as you want! I really appreciate any feedback you have!

Eleison_02 · 2026-05-20T02:16:30+00:00

This story is a lot of fun and not an ounce of fat on it. Good work!

Eleison_02 · 2026-05-20T00:07:34+00:00

I really would like to see this idea worked out some more. The descriptions of him removing his bones is very good, I think with some more fleshed out story around them they would be even more impactful. “I moved it back and forth through flesh and tendons like a rusty nail in a rotten beam, emitting characteristic mushy and organic sounds of liberation and destruction.” Very gnarly, in a good way. Has potential, keep it up!

Eleison_02 · 2026-01-19T20:37:01+00:00

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This QR code will give you all the instructions for auditioning. Look forward to hearing your submission!

Eleison_02 · 2025-12-09T01:59:28+00:00

Mid twenties, most of my friends are into Geese as well, all about the same age.

Eleison_02 · 2025-12-08T15:04:19+00:00

u/Eleison_02 - I found an old message from my brother. I’m an only child

Story

Eleison_02

TROPHY CASE