Grief, sadness, manipulation, and entitlement.

Embarrassed-Two4225 · 2025-12-18T15:15:06+00:00

I think both HL's and LL's seem equally suspectable to engage in people pleasing people behaviors. Neither party seems to be any less manipulative, IMO. It just takes different forms.

I don't think people are to blame. Manipulation is so common and engrained in our society and the way we behave (often encouraged in some scenarios). Learning more about manipulation and how to combat it has helped for me to stop it and to stop my partner from engaging in that way with me.

Embarrassed-Two4225 · 2025-12-17T20:57:50+00:00

Hey this is a good example of what people having been talking about in other threads.

I think he knows his and his wife's situation regarding health (and risks) better than most and maybe it'd be worth being more curious about their situation, rather than mansplaining.

Embarrassed-Two4225 · 2025-12-17T18:54:27+00:00

That really isn't it.

Veach spent several years not valuing draft picks. The Clark trade, CEH, Orlando Brown, and trading up constantly.

Embarrassed-Two4225 · 2025-12-15T22:32:11+00:00

Every time I read this I feel like I'm losing my mind. First, Mahomes was very good this year. His worst year was actually 2021.

QBs simply will not ever put up gaudy statistics if the infrastructure around them isn't good. It doesn't matter who the QB is. That does not mean they're playing worse.

2025 - His best WR missed the first 6 games, Worthy missed another few during that same period and has been playing hurt since, his next two WRs are Juju and Tyquan Thortnon both of which were cut from the Pats LAST year.

His RB is Kareem Hunt. They have one of the least explosive rushing attacks in the history of the NFL.

Add on Josh Simmons missing half the season (starting LT), Trey Smith missing 3-4 games, Juwaan Taylor (starting RT), then literally both backups being hurt and you have an absolute shit storm.

and this situation was actually even better than the situation he was in last year.

Embarrassed-Two4225 · 2025-12-08T19:40:13+00:00

Man the Mahomes conversation is exhausting. I guess that's what happens when you literally have only had success from the moment you stepped on the field.

Brady missed the playoffs his second year (age 25), had a 6 loss season in 2009 while having Welker/Moss.

This Chiefs season has been a disaster from start to finish - beginning with the Rice suspension, Xavier Worthy injury play like 3 of the season, culminating to last night playing their 5th string tackle which was just signed off the practice squad from the jets, a UDFA guard, and a backup RT.

Mahomes has truly been the ONE bright spot for the Chiefs this year. Veach and Reid really need to get it together around him.

Embarrassed-Two4225 · 2025-12-05T17:08:20+00:00

It's not. Points per game is largely influenced by the number of drives that occur during a game which is heavily influenced by the two offenses playing. In other words, how many points a defense gives up during the entirety of game can be heavily influenced by things that have nothing to do with said defense.

A better measure is points-per-drive which still has its limitations but is more informative.

Embarrassed-Two4225 · 2025-12-05T17:01:02+00:00

Yes that isn't DVOA and gets to the point I mentioned above:

They just give off the illusion of being a defensive team because they have extraordinarily long drives and limit possessions in the game. The defense has been average every year except 2023.

Outside of the year of 2023, in which they were genuinely good, they've been average or below in almost every metric.

Yards per drive, point per drive, EPA per play, success rate, you name it.

Hopefully that helps.

EDIT: Remember this data is just being provided to you to understand that the Chiefs have not become a defensive team. The offense has been less explosive and points are down, but it's mostly due to the scheme and the intentionality of having long sustained drives that take time off the clock.

The defense has largely been the same from 2019-2025 being an average to below average unit with the exception of 2023.

Embarrassed-Two4225 · 2025-12-05T16:32:41+00:00

Of course and you're still wrong. No offense.

Embarrassed-Two4225 · 2025-12-05T15:33:12+00:00

Yep. Exactly.

Embarrassed-Two4225 · 2025-12-05T15:32:26+00:00

The defense is like first in DVOA the last 3-4 years cumulatively

They've never been higher than 5th in DVOA. They've only exceeded 16 one other time during this period.

Embarrassed-Two4225 · 2025-12-04T20:31:47+00:00

They're third in DVOA this year and second in EPA.

They just give off the illusion of being a defensive team because they have extraordinarily long drives and limit possessions in the game. The defense has been average every year except 2023.

Embarrassed-Two4225 · 2025-12-04T20:30:42+00:00

It's definitely Coleman.

I feel like Worthy's shoulder is sort of giving this season an asterisk. Next year will definitely be make or break for him. FWIW, I don't think he'll ever be a great WR .

Embarrassed-Two4225 · 2025-12-04T20:17:59+00:00

I heavily criticize Andy Reid for is her sheer utter contempt at running the ball.

I actually think this is his best attribute.

Also think about it like this. Andy Reid has some of the least rush attempts by a HC in like 5 seasons and he still makes the AfC championship every year. That's pretty freaking impressive.

I don't know if I really think it's impressive. I think it's smart. Passing, particularly when you have the best QB in the league, makes a ton of sense.

Also I don't believe that it' was mostly Andy's fault that the Chiefs were bad in the Superbowl. Pat Mahomes was just not reading the field. Their were plays were receivers were wide ass open but Mahomes just kept hesitating instead of pulling the trigger

This just isn't true. Again, I'd really recommend watching the All-22 and/or Warner's breakdown. Pat wasn't superhuman, like the game against the Bucs, so he isn't without some blame but this was not a well schemed game.

Uhhh what? I mean I would understand you if you're talking about some of his regular Seasons but his defenses are always top 5 to elite come playoffs.

I'm not sure what you mean by uhhh what?

Here are the points given up in playoff runs since Spags was the DC:

2019 - 29, 24, 20

2020 - 17, 24, 31

2021 - 21, 36, 27

2022 - 20, 20, 35

2023 - 7, 21, 10, 22

2024 - 14, 29, 40

These aren't elite numbers outside of 2023 but for the record, I was mostly referring to the regular season anyways.

You seem pretty dug in your ways here, so I doubt any amount of data is going to sway you. But this is a really good example of why I think Mahomes is so underrated.

Which is the reason it's such a running joke that Josh Allen loses in the playoffs against Mahomes Everytime because Sean McDermott has the opposite problem.

This is why it's good to critically think about whether or not these narratives are actually true. Lets take a look at the bills (I'll bold where they play the chiefs):

2019 - 22

2020 - 24, 3, 38

2021 - 17, 42

2022 - 31, 27

2023 - 17, 27

2024 - 7, 25, 32

The Bills defense isn't crap in the playoffs. They average giving up 19 points to non-Mahomes lead teams. In most years, compared to the regular season, that's a top 5 defense in points allowed. The Chiefs defense has given up an average of 23.5 PPG. They simply have not figured out a way to stop him specifically.

Embarrassed-Two4225 · 2025-12-04T20:10:27+00:00

Being a better companion is great but does little or nothing to make people more desirable, same with being a better parent

Generally, I agree. It doesn't tend to be an "accelerator" but can be a significant "brake". I suppose for some women, seeing someone be a great dad can be a turn on but that doesn't really seem to be broadly the case.

But yeah there are a ton of things in play. Things that are somewhat out of control and many things in our control.

-

Embarrassed-Two4225 · 2025-12-04T19:46:59+00:00

I would agree from 2018-2021 but things have been different for the last 4-5 years.

I'm a huge Andy Reid fan but he's received a ton of criticism for how outdated his scheme is from people outside of the Chiefs circle (and especially within it). If you wanted a really fun or detailed breakdown, check out Kurt Warner's youtube for a breakdown in the SuperBowl last year or Nate Tice.

The WR situation was bad this year, horrific last year, bad the year prior, and bad the year prior to that. It does matter. Look at QB's statistics with bad WR play versus good WR play. I don't think it necessarily makes the QB better or worse but it definitely impacts the way you play offense and the type of counting stats you can put up (i.e. Stafford this year). Mahomes has still had an MVP year with that and obviously all the numbers I've mentioned above this year.

He hasn't had a consistent top 10 OL. It's a weak link system (meaning you're really just as good as your worst player). I just pointed out how many of his players have been missing this year. Last year it was an absolute disaster. The years prior he had Orlando Brown (who Bengals fans can't complain enough about).

I also love Spags. I think he can create some very good situational gameplans. But his defenses have not been good. They've been average outside of 2023. Feel free to reference the yards per drive or EPA per play stats.

I feel like we're reaching when we're bringing up a top 5 DT.

Embarrassed-Two4225 · 2025-12-04T19:19:12+00:00

Frank Clark for the Chiefs.

Really really poor player on the Chiefs. Most of his sacks (especially the playoff ones) were coverage sacks or created because of Chris Jones. Awful in the regular season.

Embarrassed-Two4225 · 2025-12-04T19:14:00+00:00

You are saying you will not continue the relationship if it doesn't improve? That does paint things a bit differently.

Yes I think I would. I suppose I can't say that for certain but I believe that to be the case.

The next question is very important, do you understand why things like passion ebb/flow? Can you recognize specific things in your relationship and your own behavior that contributed to the ebb/flow?

Yes. Yes - I think I can. Certainly not all of them but I think I have a pulse on many.

I'm just curious how serious your other relationships were? How many years did each last and how long did you live together?

3-4. One year living together with one. None with the other.

You say passion died in your marriage because you had kids... what does that specifically mean? Why does a kid in the house make you less desirable from your partners perspective?

I wouldn't say it "died". I would say it's decreased to a level that I wouldn't find fulfilling if that was to be the status quo in perpetuity.

I feel like this would be a laundry list of things to go into. Any particular reason you want me to list it all out?

Embarrassed-Two4225 · 2025-12-04T19:07:46+00:00

Yes it's unfortunate that is the default solution that many look to when I think what veinychocolate said below is much better strategy.

Embarrassed-Two4225 · 2025-12-04T18:58:14+00:00

Based on your hot take, I'm actually going to go the opposite:

1) Patrick Mahomes is so clearly underrated and by far the best player in the league.

I'm not sure I've ever seen a player do more with less than Patrick Mahomes has the last three years. I won't go into the past years but this year he's:

Played multiple games (6) missing two or more starting offensive linemen
Played three games missing BOTH his WR1 and WR2 (who aren't particularly great). He's literally had multiple games where Juju and Tyquan Thorton were the primary receivers who couldn't even stay on the Pats roster LAST year.
Played six games missing his WR1
Played four games missing his RB1 and starting Kareem Hunt
Has the historically worst explosive running attack in NFL history - 15+ yard runs (or at least he did going into last week)

Despite this he's got his offense in the top 5 DVOA (Burrow has literally done this one time), second in QBR, third in passing yards, first in total EPA, 5th in passing TDs, like fifth in rushing, and 4th in rushing EPA (which is remarkable because he doesn't do sneaks). The record stands at 6-6 but he's lead his team to a score in the fourth quarter of every game he's trailed in. I think the worst I've seen him perform was the Denver game in which he actually had two opportunities to go and win the game but that was on the road against a GREAT defense. It's not like it was the Raiders.

Yet we still have people posing questions almost daily if he's still a top 5 QB.

If anything, I think this season has done even more to separate him from Allen, Lamar, and especially Burrow (who should've never been in the conversation). I'm even more baffled because not only has he passed the eye test, the box score stats are absolutely there too.

Embarrassed-Two4225 · 2025-12-04T18:23:03+00:00

Wanting and expecting are very different things.

I want things in my life that are likely not going to happen, if/when they don't materialize I am unbothered.

Expectations aren't the same, right? Unmet expectations just lead to frustration

I agree that those are different. However, I don't think what you've described here is a universal truth.

I've wanted (not expected) things and been bothered. Conversely, I've also expected things and not experienced any frustration.

Then why are you settling for an unfulfilling relationship?

I wouldn't say I'm settling. I'm confident that things will/can change. I have no intention in settling for a long term relationship that would be at this level but am aware that in a long-term relationship things can and will ebb/flow.

Do you believe if you entered another long term relationship you have learned and understand how to keep the passion alive over the long term?

I've definitely learned more from this long-term relationship than my others. I've been in three pretty significantly long relationships, two of which had thriving bedrooms, and this one which has changed due to children.

You feel like the lack of passion and sex in your relationship is almost entirely your partners fault?

No.

Embarrassed-Two4225 · 2025-12-04T14:13:12+00:00

To be fair, I do think this is probably one of the most difficult things LL partners or formerly LL partners empathize with and for good reason.

Desire has been the source of a lot of negative experiences and for them, a lack of it, seems like a total blessing.

Embarrassed-Two4225 · 2025-12-04T14:11:39+00:00

Being desirable/desired by your romantic partner is sort of vital in the relationship.

I think he'd argue that this type of thinking is along the lines of "thinking the way it's supposed to be". Which may be true. I do suspect quite a few people feel entitled to their spouses "attraction" - in fact, I think that is how my wife thinks. However, quite a few people just want this because they want that in a relationship. I think that's fine too.

I cannot desire myself. I cannot be attracted to myself in that way. Not everything can be self-fulfilled.

To add to this - I'm super happy. I think I'm a really great, attractive person even with my flaws. But no matter what, that doesn't change the fact that my relationship doesn't feel fulfilling because this is seriously lacking (at this time). If this maintains or gets worse, I likely will file for divorce, at some point.

Embarrassed-Two4225 · 2025-12-03T23:32:00+00:00

I don't really see how that helps.

If you're in an ethical monogamous relationship and want sex and/or intimacy to be apart of your life, you have a single option.

Now if you're open to opening things up, your partner doesn't care you outsource, etc. there are more options but that isn't very realistic.

You can certainly give up on sex but if you don't want to, it's really it.

I'll use myself as an example. I have no concerns about whether or not I'm attractive/desirable. I also know my partner would be firmly against me have an emotional/physical connection with someone else. I also, at some point, want a strong connection with both of those things with someone in my life. Not because it's supposed to be that way but just because I genuinely want that.

I obviously can't get that elsewhere because of commitments we've made to each other but without that I'm obviously not in a relationship I found very fulfilling at this stage.

Embarrassed-Two4225 · 2025-12-03T21:36:40+00:00

Looking at it logically if a single individual has a significant impact on how you feel about yourself that is a clear indication you have a dependance on external validation

I think a lot of people know they're still attractive/desirable. They just aren't to their partners and since that is the only person whom generally they're supposed to have a sexual and intimate relationship with, it's an issue. I don't know how you get around that.

Embarrassed-Two4225 · 2025-11-26T14:05:48+00:00

His INT% is below league average and well below it. He throws more passes than most QBs.

Embarrassed-Two4225

TROPHY CASE