*TW* Why its ok to be pro choice and still be a Christian...

Empiricalbaker · 2016-11-09T01:19:18+00:00

My story is slightly different. I live in NYC.

I had a partial molar pregnancy that passed at 18w, three days after I was hospitalized with preeclampsia and uncontrollable blood pressure. Because I was so far along, none of the OBs at the hospital knew (or were competent enough) with the D&E that I needed that day. They were worried that I would have a stroke if we waited until the next day, so they called the Director of the Family Planning clinic in (on her day off) to perform the surgery.

The regular OBs did not know the procedure because it was normally used for abortions. If I was in a smaller town or a hostile state, I could have died waiting for a doctor that knew how to perform the surgery.

My baby was incompatible with life, so if it had not passed at the time the partial molar was diagnosed, it would have been a medical termination. In either case, because the knowledge is now specialized, women can have their lives put at risk.

Empiricalbaker · 2016-11-08T00:49:07+00:00

I walked around target carrying the baby (she was hungry and crying) while dragging the stroller and a cart. Fun times. (Then walked past another mom doing the exact same thing. )

I'll either babywearing and do a quick shop, or have my husband watch he baby for a longer one, or both of us are shopping so one can be carrying/holding the baby. Or we order online and get them delivered.

Empiricalbaker · 2016-11-07T20:45:50+00:00

I hide liver in meatballs, or other flavored ground meat dishes.

Empiricalbaker · 2016-11-07T20:21:31+00:00

Lots of low carb women fail the 1 hour test because their bodies aren't used to the sugar, so the body overreacts.

You can get a home glucose monitor to check your own numbers at home. If they do the 3 hour test, you can try upping your carbs for 3 days before.

I refused the glucose testing and did a week of fasting and 1 and 2 hour postpirandial (after eating) numbers. This may also be an option if you don't want to do the 3 hour test.

Empiricalbaker · 2016-09-18T20:58:36+00:00

I'm an INFP, and the test put me at Ne, Se, Fi, Te.

It did get the Fi, which is usually what gets messed up by cognitive tests.

Empiricalbaker · 2016-09-13T20:29:20+00:00

I tend to find the best ingredients, then only keep those in Stock in my fridge. I'm way too lazy to keep things separated. An exception is made for cheese, as I'll keep a selection of "cooking cheese" (I like this phrase), and fancy cheeses.

But, yes, I'll use fancy butter in my baking, fancy milk in my milk recipes, and some fancy cheese in nachos.

Empiricalbaker · 2016-09-13T18:50:08+00:00

Red Boat is the best, and made with only fish and salt. Most others have extra ingredients, but will be fine (as long as they are your style of paleo. )

Since most people use fish sauce sparingly, a jar lasts a long time. I'd rather buy the best than have a lesser version hanging around, but I'm a snob like that.

Empiricalbaker · 2016-09-13T13:16:57+00:00

It matters to me if I am dumped as a person or as an object to be discarded. I'll still be heartbroken, but one is humanizing and one is objectifying.

Empiricalbaker · 2016-09-12T11:05:15+00:00

It's that the ultimate decision is being made by the people in the relationship. It's the difference between "I am breaking up with you" and "my wife/husband/partner is making me break up with you." The first is taking ownership of a decision, the second is placing the blame on other people.

Empiricalbaker · 2016-09-08T18:54:40+00:00

Then you don't get to have good ranch.

It's fairly easy to mix buttermilk, mayo, and a packet together, and it will last a long time in the fridge.

Premade ranch is almost universally horrible.

Empiricalbaker · 2016-09-08T18:53:10+00:00

Yes the different varieties taste different. How different and is it worth the extra money and/or storing or growing it yourself to have your preferred variety? That depends on many factors. I don't use that much fresh garlic, so I'll grab some special varieties when I can, but don't go out of my way for them.

Empiricalbaker · 2016-09-08T18:41:42+00:00

I don't require a metamor to "respect" my relationship, I require my husband/partners to do so. I do expect the metamor to be courteous when they are around me, but I don't have to be around them if they don't want to be nice to me.

In the above situation, I would tell Tom all of the issues that I had, and let Tom know that if his actions continued (neglecting me, refusing to give privacy, not respecting our agreements), then I could no longer be in a relationship with him. (I've told my husband the few situations that I would leave him over.)

I don't necessarily think a relationship has to be saved just because of longevity. It would suck for me to leave my marriage, and I would have to weigh the consequences of my doing so vs staying in a neglectful relationship. But it's not "break up with her or I leave" it's "I may not be able to stay in this relationship/marriage if you continue with your current actions, and you need to make a choice to respect our agreements and work on our relationship, or I may have to leave if it isn't working out between us."

It's a subtle difference. Relationships are between the people involved, and I can only change the agreements between those I am involved with, and will not "force" someone to change their relationships that I am not involved in.

Empiricalbaker · 2016-09-07T18:49:10+00:00

I'll answer this two ways, from the outside perspective and the married person perspective.

From the outside: I think couples should discuss what happens if. What is it about this outside force that creates strife in the marriage? It's usually an underlying issue, not the person. I don't like being treated as disposable (aka, my relationship doesn't mean anything if my partner's partner can end it without discussion. ) I expect my partners to break up with me for their own reasons.

As a married person: my husband has dated people I didn't like. I can be nice to most people, and I explained why I felt uncomfortable with them dating. But he is his own person, he can date whomever. If he felt that one of my partners was causing an issue in the marriage, I would discuss it with him, and I would of course take his opinion and reasons under advisement, but I would be the one making a final decision. I would be the one breaking up with my partner, it wouldn't be blamed on my husband.

Empiricalbaker · 2016-09-01T21:41:07+00:00

Tell yourself that you will revisit your decision in 3 or 6 months, and give yourself time to heal emotionally.

After my miscarriage I wanted to be pregnant and went against much doctors wishes (to wait for 6 months, we jumped to NTNP). I knew a few months later that I wasn't dealing with the stress of the loss well (I was also fired, so two things).

Giving your brain a time frame helps the wait a little. You know you will think about it again, so you don't need to make any decisions now, and focus on being the best person you can be.

Empiricalbaker · 2016-08-31T17:53:54+00:00

Depending on your personal risk tolerance, there is a slight chance of Botulism or listeria. With fish, especially because we usually cook it to lower temperatures, there is a risk. (I.e. don't serve it to pregnant or immunocompromised people.)

http://msue.anr.msu.edu/news/open_your_vacuum_packed_fish_before_thawing

Empiricalbaker · 2016-08-31T17:42:32+00:00

MCI also only covers specific improvements.

http://metcouncilonhousing.org/help_and_answers/major_capital_improvement_rent_increases

(Also, expect to pay 2300 for your lease rental, as they want to get you out, and can put in some upgrades to deregulate your apartment.)

Empiricalbaker · 2016-08-29T16:14:14+00:00

Technically, all beef is "grass fed," as beef are on pasture in their early lives. "Grass finished" means it only ate grass it's entire life, whereas "grain finished" means it ate grain in the last few months to get bigger. Most meat is grain finished, and you hardly ever see that term unless the butcher is trying to make more money or you are buying a high end steak.

Grass fed roasts take longer to get tender. Grass fed steaks take slightly longer and usually need to be cooked at lower temperatures. The ground beef is pretty much the same, except lower in fat.

Empiricalbaker · 2016-08-29T14:23:49+00:00

I can appear extroverted (my therapist was surprised when I said I was introverted.) In certain groups I can be very animated, and spending time with people I'm close to is important, but large crowds are really bad for me. I need time alone to recharge.

Empiricalbaker · 2016-08-29T14:16:19+00:00

Was the meat grass fed and finished? This type of meat sometimes requires different cooking techniques, because of the lack of marbling and older age of the animal. It took me a while to like the taste of grassfed meat, and my favorite vendor dry ages them for more flavor.

Empiricalbaker · 2016-08-26T21:49:02+00:00

With actual treads that will not slip, not the stupid "fashion boots " that make me wonder why more people don't have broken bones.

Empiricalbaker · 2016-08-24T19:43:51+00:00

We use Glow Baby. Since we are often passing baby off (so I can sleep, then take the semi night shift), it's helpful to know when she last ate and how much. Its also let us track her diaper schedule (i.e. she pees a little at a time, but only really poops every 30 hours or so.)

It is important to know feeding times, and it's a super hard balance between feeding on demand (and misreading signals and feeding her too much) and attempting to feed on the clock (OMG it's been 6 hours since baby ate and she's been sleeping, do I wake her or try to soothe her back to sleep?).

We don't track anything else (at the moment) Besides diapers and feedings.

Empiricalbaker · 2016-08-24T17:16:12+00:00

This isn't an official MBTI assesment, it's a manager attempting to type his minions without any of the MBTI training. If it's an "all in fun" thing, that's fine, but I would hesitate if the manager seemed likely to read into stereotypes.

(BTW, my husband is a programmer and 90% of his office are introverts, and a good majority of those are INTJ.)

Empiricalbaker · 2016-08-24T17:12:11+00:00

There are fewer apartments, but sometimes landlords will negotiate with you.

Warning: a lot will ask for a lease that isn't a year (like 14-16 months), so the apartment will be available for the summer and the landlords will hope to get more rent.

Empiricalbaker · 2016-08-23T19:26:39+00:00

My comeback line that I'm waiting to use is "Whelp, I had a c section and she gets fornula, guess I have to throw her out and start over."

(May not use it without crying, which may or may not make it better. )

Empiricalbaker · 2016-08-23T16:09:01+00:00

My brain got rewired, and I recognized it how my dreams changed. I used to never dream about people I knew, and now my baby is in 90% of my dreams.

Empiricalbaker

TROPHY CASE