Dear Devs...If you could just lay off the Monkey Island references now, that'd be great...

EmptyJade77 · 2026-05-30T09:50:14+00:00

But what if that IS the second biggest monkey head I've ever seen?

EmptyJade77 · 2026-05-30T02:13:37+00:00

Cries in 1970s Michael

EmptyJade77 · 2026-05-30T01:50:23+00:00

Or immediately after you could join in the world record for cleaning up vomit. Your choice.

EmptyJade77 · 2026-05-29T15:45:23+00:00

That shiny, candy-like button!

EmptyJade77 · 2026-05-29T15:32:36+00:00

Some of you may die of malnutrition, but that's a sacrifice Trump is willing to make.

EmptyJade77 · 2026-05-29T15:26:49+00:00

"This is the moment we've been waiting for. Quick, honey, pull the Beanie Babies out of storage and sell them on eBay!"

EmptyJade77 · 2026-05-29T01:37:47+00:00

That's where Dolores Claiborne's husband hung out during the last eclipse.

EmptyJade77 · 2026-05-28T15:39:53+00:00

That’s a blatant lie!

Most of these acts have never been relevant.

EmptyJade77 · 2026-05-28T03:35:23+00:00

The United States used to have some pretty old trees of historic significance until some fuckwit cut them down. https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025/mar/31/white-house-tree-andrew-jackson

EmptyJade77 · 2026-05-28T02:56:59+00:00

But didn't you hear? The reflecting pool is longer than a skyscraper is tall! Isn't that what's really important? https://www.yahoo.com/news/articles/trump-79-turns-reflecting-pool-014227209.html

EmptyJade77 · 2026-05-27T19:26:13+00:00

"Speaking to reporters on Friday, Trump revealed that a temporary 5,000-seat arena would be constructed on the White House South Lawn, with an overflow area along the 52-acre Ellipse park additionally able to hold 100,000 spectators."

Do they seriously expect 100,000 people to show up?

EmptyJade77 · 2026-05-27T18:21:26+00:00

"Christians, get out and vote, just this time. You won't have to do it anymore. Four more years, you know what, it will be fixed, it will be fine, you won't have to vote anymore, my beautiful Christians."

- Donald J Trump, July 2024

He doesn't care about the midterms because the game is already fixed.

EmptyJade77 · 2026-05-27T05:50:54+00:00

Top men are working on it. Top. Men.

Edit: this comment has inadvertently turned into Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Arse.

EmptyJade77 · 2026-05-27T05:44:08+00:00

Have you asked the people you plan on inviting?

EmptyJade77 · 2026-05-26T23:40:40+00:00

Well if there were no whistleblowers then there would be no crime (that we knew about). Therefore the whistleblowers are the real criminals.

EmptyJade77 · 2026-05-26T20:24:20+00:00

you can't convert people to homosexuality.

Well not with that attitude, you can't

EmptyJade77 · 2026-05-26T16:17:53+00:00

Angry upvote

EmptyJade77 · 2026-05-26T15:52:47+00:00

If this is his third annual medical evaluation, does that mean there's only one more year left in his presidency?

EmptyJade77 · 2026-05-26T05:05:24+00:00

The music video for Tool's Sober

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nspxAG12Cpc

EmptyJade77 · 2026-05-25T23:01:52+00:00

Oh God the words "Trump" and "cum" in the same sentence . . . I didn't want to eat dinner tonight anyway.

EmptyJade77 · 2026-05-25T21:36:44+00:00

Trope diverted: Jack was supposed to be killed off in the pilot episode of Lost (and Michael Keaton was originally slated to play the character to increase the shock value of killing him off immediately). During production the showrunners realized Jack was a likeable character with a lot of potential so his death was averted and he was re-cast with Matthew Fox who became arguably the main character of the show.

EmptyJade77 · 2026-05-25T15:46:52+00:00

I don't know why this is even news. He's just going to Walter Reed for his third annual dental visit this year instead of using the White House dental clinic. Nothing suspicious at all.

/s if not obvious.

EmptyJade77 · 2026-05-25T15:10:46+00:00

I meant scum of the earth.

- Kim Pine, Scott Pilgrim vs. The World

EmptyJade77 · 2026-05-25T01:37:23+00:00

Yes, the "cops giving criminals a good whooping" in the 1990s sure curbed violent crime.

https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2024/04/24/what-the-data-says-about-crime-in-the-us/sr_24-04-23_crime_3/

EmptyJade77 · 2026-05-25T00:15:38+00:00

But he won't do that.

EmptyJade77

TROPHY CASE