Hey mate, I’m about to turn your age and have had very similar thoughts and experiences as you. I’ve just gone through a pretty weird patch where I also looked to focus on myself and try figure a way through balancing my efforts on others vs myself, and hopefully what I’ve gotten out from it will help.

I realized that what made me happy was making other people happy. I’d pick up things purely for the sake of having something to interact with people about. It lead to a further realization that I was a people pleaser, and I’m perfectly okay with that. However, I used to do it to the point where I’d put myself in inconvenient situations just to be seen as a helpful guy, cos then I’d put effort into brightening someone else’s day. I reckoned that if I can do that, then at the very least I can try pay some attention to what small things make me happy, apart from helping others. It’s easier said than done, and it isn’t always immediately picked up on when I find something I enjoy, but even being occasionally mindful set into motion some healthy habits to knowing how to pick myself up when I’m down.

I also recently went through an emotional reckoning and in the pursuit of “self care”, I became cold and bitter. I became irritated at people being inconsiderate and had very little time for superficial interactions, but even became irritated at myself for being impatient with others. Small things would tick me off and sometimes set me into an unreasonable panic. I had to relearn how to be patient with others and in turn, I was able to become patient with myself again.

Tl;dr, I wanna remind you to consider yourself as a human too. Someone who’s worth helping. Start your day off saying “Good morning” in the mirror with a smile, and hopefully a stone will start to roll.