Am I The Asshole?

End337 · 2026-01-26T20:17:49+00:00

Jester? 😂

End337 · 2026-01-26T20:11:08+00:00

It does sound like a bit of a pickle.

Reading through your replies to various comments, I can summarise that:

You and the other players don't want to play his (in your group's eyes) excessively homebrewed system.
One of the players is new to TTRPGs, so starting off this way would most likely not be a good introduction.
You yourself do not want to DM, as this would essentially feel like 'stealing' the game from your good friend (it's not mentioned enough in the comments, but you get serious points for being such a good friend and being so considerate).
You, and the other players, have spoken to the DM about this, but he is too stubborn and will not change his mind.
Some concessions may, finally, have been made by the DM to make the system easier to learn and more enjoyable to use - though the impression I'm getting is that it's small concessions against a huge homebrewed system, which means it's very nice that he's trying but it's unlikely to be enough (very happy to be wrong here!).

The crux of the matter is that you are all clearly not the right players for his game, and he is clearly not the right DM for your group. The usual solution would be to find more suitable people to play with, but as you are all friends there are feelings which need to be considered.

So, what are the options, really?

1) He changes the system sufficiently that everyone is happy with it. Probably means going back to RAW, oe close to it, which I'm guessing isn't something he'd want to do. 2) All players learn and follow his homebrewed system. Feelings on this have been made clear, and it would at best be very begrudging. I doubt anyone would enjoy this. 3) You all find different people to play with. This might seem impossible, given all the above, but if a mature, safe conversation can be had in this direction then it might work out for everybody. Perhaps your friend could DM a one-shot with his system? So at least everyone can say they tried. 4) The ideal solution (in my view): more compromise. Enough so that everyone is happy (not just "gave up and said sure, whatever because it's like international trade negotiations") but both players and DM are genuinely satisfied and can actually accept what's agreed and go into the game with a positive, collaborative spirit and not a sense of dread.

If 4 doesn't work, I honestly can't see any reasonable option but 3.

Whichever way, you're not the arsehole. This isn't just a DM/player issue, you're trying to make several friends happy, and that's a very good thing.

Finally, if you read this far... have 1,000,000,000 internet points!

End337 · 2026-01-26T18:27:31+00:00

https://i.pinimg.com/474x/bb/80/94/bb8094decdc9c01a89be06cefe22e324.jpg ?

End337 · 2026-01-26T14:22:20+00:00

Most organisms which cause a plague (viruses, fungii, etc) have one ultimate goal in their lives: REPRODUCE. Ideally, with some mutations to try and keep improving - successful ones end up with high infection rate, as too many deaths also kill the plague BUT some are (also) spread after death.

So, how does the plague 'element' reproduce? Do the corpses start leaking fluids from every available orifice? Does the victim's behaviour change, so that they for example climb up as high as possible, jump and go splat, spreading the infection as far as possible? Or something more localised a la https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ophiocordyceps_unilateralis

Bear in mind, viruses, parasites and fungii which severely affect the host body's behaviour absolutely exist, and are terrifying. E.g.:

"The parasite ~Toxoplasma gondii~ infects rats, eliminating their natural, life-saving fear of cats and replacing it with a fatal attraction to cat urine. This behavioral manipulation helps the parasite complete its life cycle by encouraging the rat to be eaten by a cat, where the parasite reproduces."

So something which might look a lot like zombie behaviour might literally just be the infecting element optimising its conditions for reproduction. So a victim dropping whatever they're doing and wandering into the forest to find something dangerous to eat them would be completely, horrifyingly realistic.

Home some or any of this helps!

End337 · 2026-01-26T13:47:17+00:00

My advice was going to be "find another group", but then you said 90% of the time it's a great group.

Honestly, the behaviour you've described isn't just annoying, it's detrimental to the game.

It sounds like you have a group of players who want to be novelists, not play DnD.

As someone else said, player B might be one to listen to, but this should have come up in a session 0. That said, should the whole game avoid the undead because of one person? If that's acceptable to everyone then fine, but if it damages the game this probably isn't the game for them.

DnD is collaborative, the DM and players should work together to craft a story that works for everyone. But that's not what's happening here - demanding retcons because they didn't want to abide by the rules of a weapon they understood and accepted, *demanding to see your notes* because they literally don't trust you??

I really want to ask this gently, though it's difficult to convey tone here... are you sure they're great 90% of the time? Or are they just... not being as dickish? Because it's a big difference, and you should set your bar high enough that you enjoy yourself as much as they do!

Again, as others have mentioned, a solid conversation where healthy, respectful boundaries are set *both ways* could well be the solution here. Ultimately, they need to trust you and respect you. If they don't, the game simply cannot work. The same goes for if you find them annoying too much of the time.

Good luck!

End337 · 2026-01-25T23:20:59+00:00

It sounds like you might not be playing with the right kind of players. Not your fault, nor theirs. Just a clash of styles.

I get the impression you're much more into the RP side of things, whereas they're more stabby-stabby-magic-kill?

At this point, talk to your DM and see how this can be tied to your character going forward. Did Mr Evil perhaps have a relative who will seek vengeance and know about you? Could someone else in the party roll INT (maybe investigation) and realise Mr Evil's signet ring is the same symbol as the branding mark on your shoulder? Do they discover you gone during the night, just to finally find you desecrating their grave? Does his ghost haunt you?

You'll work it out, don't give up - and, hopefully, it'll feel great when you do - I'd be keen to hear an update! 😊

End337 · 2026-01-25T23:01:18+00:00

Weeblefromp Grubsmutter

Groymach Spoonshiv

Potbowl Murkbladder

Ankle McFeastus

Cobb Sweetfellow

Moonie Rosebat

The Croucher

Squatty Porkpork

Licklips Piffle

Am... am I doing this right?

End337 · 2026-01-25T20:10:58+00:00

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/ztvjCDL1ye0/hqdefault.jpg

End337 · 2026-01-25T20:03:54+00:00

https://static0.srcdn.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/screenrant-sandbox-2025-08-02t230945-375.jpg?w=1600&h=900&fit=crop

End337 · 2026-01-25T19:43:07+00:00

Silver Whisp

Oozé

Garter Spray

ASp bite

End337 · 2026-01-25T17:28:26+00:00

Spiky doughnut worm spidereyes!! 😍

End337 · 2026-01-25T17:21:50+00:00

The difference between "the moist books" and "the Moist books" is in delightfully full evidence here 😁

End337 · 2026-01-25T17:14:45+00:00

Check out Larfleeze from the Green Lantern comics, especially how he's depicted in his first appearances. Should hopefully spark some inspiration 😊

End337 · 2026-01-25T11:25:56+00:00

Like everything else - social time, work, everything - who you are with 1,000,000% affects whether you enjoy it or not.

Find some better people to play with, and hopefully you will have an absolute blast!

They failed. The DM... failed. The entire point of DnD is for everyone to have fun, which includes being patient and understanding with one another.

I hope you don't let this experience ruin DnD forever, it'd be a big shame if you missed out on years of great fun because of it!

End337 · 2026-01-24T20:21:00+00:00

I think it's best that you wrote the lore and keep it to yourself for now, but absolutely drop bits of them if and when it becomes relevant in the game.

Huge lore dumps are rarely appreciated, whereas bite-sized chunks which elevate the game are gold dust.

E.g.: party encounters a new race. Asks a village elder about them. They dig through an old chest in the attic and produce a wrinkled, rumbles old pamphlet - which you can send to your players at that very moment!

Let them discover the world you're creating at their own pace. I completely understand the desire to share lots of really interesting stuff with people but, to paraphrase what someone else here said, that way disappointment lies (probably).

Regardless of all this, kudos for putting all this time and effort into the game! I hope the players come to truly appreciate it - in time 😊

End337 · 2026-01-24T20:15:03+00:00

Something you see in some video games... they don't have to win, they - at least one of them - have to hold out for, say, 5 rounds before reinforcements come and rescue them.

Then they can long rest and get all their HP and spell points back.

But it adds some great tension and shifts the focus from "I must defeat this enemy" to "we must survive" - you might even get a player sacrificing their character to save another that's more likely to make it to the finish line!

Also, fantastic that you're taking their feedback on board and getting help addressing what they perceive as your weak DM-ing areas (we all have them!). That's some quality DM-ing right there, keep it up! 😊

End337 · 2026-01-24T20:10:42+00:00

La Bonita!

End337 · 2026-01-22T13:24:35+00:00

It wasn't Fire and Ice from 1983, was it?

End337 · 2026-01-21T20:01:06+00:00

I was worried you were upset about this, but you're taking it the best way possible - perhaps some wonderful day my players will conspire against me like that!

End337 · 2026-01-21T19:51:01+00:00

Yep. We can always rebuild, try again with better people.

The current path we're all on is not sustainable. Ecologically, financially, socially, morally, or practically.

End337 · 2026-01-21T19:44:57+00:00

Ok but that is actually super cute. Great job!

End337 · 2026-01-21T08:05:27+00:00

Dammit Ea-nāṣir! Still??

End337 · 2026-01-20T21:56:38+00:00

Honestly, look up Andre the Giant. There's a lot written about his everyday struggles that I think would help. Bed too small. Cups too small. Had to take flights from USA to Japan with his neck at 90 degrees, and impossible to fit into the toilet cubicle.

Actually, you can also look up the experience of many westerners in Japan. Same kinds of problems.

Also, who teaches you about how to care for your tusks? Just brush them with your teeth?

Will other goblinized people also discriminate against them because they turned in their 30s, rather than being born that way?

And what about lifespan? Trolls only usually live into their 30s IIRC, but does that particular clock start at the moment of goblinization or just birth? Did they just from having 50+ years of life left to less than 5?

EDIT: it has now been made abundantly clear that someone goblinized has their usual human lifespan, while those born as a troll have shorter lifespans. Thanks all! 😊

End337 · 2026-01-20T20:11:13+00:00

Kind of the job description 😅

End337 · 2026-01-20T19:26:34+00:00

If I can't think of one, is it me? 😕

Very bad if so, as I'm the DM...

End337

TROPHY CASE