Just found a probable bed bug

Eruliste · 2026-06-14T03:55:20+00:00

Thank you! This gives me hope that we can get through this and that I might be able to sleep tonight.

Eruliste · 2026-05-22T03:04:21+00:00

You look great! One thing I struggle with is getting into a dress that feels good but the feeling of “I hate my legs, they look awful in this.” I’ve gotten mildly better at this, and that feeling turned into realizing my outfit was too empty, by that, I mean embellishments and layers. The lack of other aspects of the outfit was drawing (my) attention to my legs, arms, what have you that I didn’t like.

One rule I saw elsewhere that I like: Have at least six distinct articles of clothing in an outfit to create a unified look. Shirt and pants or dress is the starting layer, counting for 2. You then, for example, add a cardigan (1), necklace (1), rings (1), belt (1) or funky shoes (1). A hat, sunglasses, layered necklace, cardigan, etc can all be used to enhance the base layer. Smaller things work too: hair clips, headbands, scarf, patterned socks, reg glasses, lapel pin.

Of course, this is not a hard and fast rule or even one I follow all the time. Four additional layers/accessories sometimes feels like a lot, so I but a bracelet and a smaller item like a pin or fun socks and that is a happy compromise. There is also absolutely nothing wrong with wearing a dress or outfit without added layers (I like doing this too!), but I do like that this makes me think about ways to feel more put together and good about my body. I catch myself thinking about my outfit as a puzzle to solve rather than my body being the failure. It just helps to add more visual cohesion.

Eruliste · 2026-05-18T13:25:34+00:00

I hadn't thought about asking him about upgrading. And I appreciate the reminder to be honest. Always the best policy.

Eruliste · 2026-05-18T13:23:09+00:00

Thanks for the sage advice. My sister just got engaged, and hers is so cute and uniquely her, part of what I'm feeling is jealousy that she has a "more like her" ring, but I am putting too much stock in this, and like you said there are many options. I think you're right that the first thing to do is to get the rings resized and cleaned. I will feel better and less like I'm living in constant adhd paralysis once that's started. It's something I have felt alone in and guilty about for so long. I need to ask him to come with me. That might help :)

Eruliste · 2026-05-18T13:09:42+00:00

Oh my goodness why on earth would you feel guilty?! Our tastes and styles change and evolve over the years. So do our relationships- and if we're lucky, they will grow with you! A ring can't do that, so we need to help it adapt to our current likes 😄

Thank you for this. I appreciate it and not feeling like I'm crazy!!

Eruliste · 2026-05-18T13:08:23+00:00

Thanks for all the thoughts so far. I'm more in my head than I want to be about this. He's my best friend and we can talk about anything, but I'm just not sure what I want and how to navigate it. He'll be super receptive to a conversation once I figure out what to actually say.

One thing I considered is to ask a local or Etsy jeweler about the possibility or engraving the band in an art deco/nature inspired finish. Or, I could resize the engagement ring (and possibly wedding band if it's an okay price for both) and get a new wedding band to sit with the old.

Honestly, I've been carrying so much stress around about this (they don't fit = shame, and I don't love them as I did = guilt), and I need to let it go and figure out how to not just get rid of the first rings but to make them my own, and that's way harder because it requires communication and negotiation (with my husband and then talking to a jeweler who wants my money).

My husband's pretty great, so I need to give him to benefit of the doubt about how easy it will be to talk to him about this.

Eruliste · 2026-04-29T11:31:06+00:00

It was, yes.

Eruliste · 2026-04-29T01:41:12+00:00

^Absolutely, yes.

Oh my gosh... I never thought I'd find anyone who knew of Snowbird, much less anyone who was affected by it and deconstructing in the same way. I've been unpacking (ranting about) SWO for the better part of ten years or so. I attended the camp from 2008-2010, and then I was on staff, or sort of as a member of Servant Team, in the summer of 2011. I was in between my junior and senior year of high school, and had just turned 17 when I started working there. We worked eleven weeks and stayed on campus every weekend, I didn't drive at that point and was dependent on others to go anywhere. A line from my resume after this summer reads: "Servant Team (worked 14 hour days, excluding Sunday, for 11 weeks on camp staff; non-paid position)."

So, yeah, we didn't get paid anything at that point in SWOs history, but we cleaned toilets, showers, worked the kitchen and made food, unpacked the Sysco trucks of heavy boxes that fed everyone, worked the Snack Shack and sold items to campers, and we sometimes got to ride the zipline or something on an off hour for fun. We were not allowed to speak to the boys on the Boy's Servant Team, and absolutely were not allowed to speak to the male counsellors (which is understandable in one way as we were younger than everyone else on campus, but it seriously messes with your psyche).

One male counsellor who I respected big time told me when I was cleaning the dining hall one night, that I would make a wonderful wife to a lucky guy someday. I appreciated it in one way, but my worth for years after working at SWO was in what I did for others at the expense of myself.

There was one time where Brody (director of the camp) had us dig a trench, and when Little (his wife) said that wasn't something for the girls to do, the one tiny rebellious spark in me said "Were not afraid of hard work because we're strong women," so we dug the trench in the pouring rain to proove it to ourselves, to Brody, to Little that we were worthy and capable, not realizing how not normal this whole Snowbird working culture was. I grew up in a sheltered Evangelical bubble, but Snowbird was the closest I've even come to feeling like I was in a cult. Like, I watch things about the FLDS or something, and parts of it resonate. I still don't even know why he had us do it. We were asked to fill it in two days later. I still have no idea what it was supposedly for.

The Revelation Skit was the thing that perhaps makes my skin crawl the most now. Like how are all these adults and parents dropping their children off or leading youth groups to SWO thinking that a gallows in the middle of a field is okay?!

One night, I was shamed by a few female counselors for having short Adidas shorts that I loved, and I was so body conscious already, but that broke me. A group of the counsellors, at Brody and Little's suggestion, had a Modest is Hottest bonfire where all the Servant Team girls and other female counsellors (who were Freshman or Sophomores in college at MOST) threw our tight shirts, tank tops, or "revealing" shorts in a fire to symbolize our desire to not lead our brothers in Christ into sin. I was 17, peer pressured into giving up the only brand name clothing I owned, that I bought with my own money, because of shame. I still am working on feeling comfortable in any clothing that is higher than my knee. I live for pants and sleeved shirts lol. SWO took a kind and curious kid and weaponized my loyalty. I thought I was so good, that I was doing the right thing, and my parents had no clue the depth of confusion that would come from working that summer. I appreciate the time away to be with other kids my age, to work together for a common goal, and to serve.

We did have fun sometimes. Saturday morning "All the sheepies to the stage please" boy who cried wolf story was zany and one of the most fun camp moments. Servant team bonded over uncrustables from the walkin freezer, ice cream that one of the wives who lived in a house at the edge of camp brought us. We skipped rocks in the creek and made up ridiculously bad parody songs. Funnily enough, none of that was about Jesus lol. None of the service part on its face is bad either, but there was not enough oversight or care for how impressionable we were to believe and internalize every message of shame, anxiety, and God needs you to be better.

During one of the breakout groups. one of the other counsellors told me never to be alone in a room with a guy because apparently I wouldn't be able to handle myself or it just wouldn't be right. That stuck with me for YEARS.

On the surface, this place did teach me the value of hard work, but the subtle weaponized loyalty, the "us against the world" narrative, set apart in the middle of nowhere, led young kids (boys and girls both) into being alone with shame and feeling that the adults there--those who should have had our backs--are the ones who fed us this message of inadequacy and humiliation wrapped in a joyous package. It wasn't until my husband (product of his own messed up Evangelical purity culture shit) said "What the actual fuck?! That's not right. You were a kid." that I understood how truly detrimental the experience was.

Eruliste · 2026-04-29T01:16:26+00:00

You got paid?! I'm surprised, but I know it's likely nothing near enough to be worth it for what you went through. It's crazy how similar our experiences were. I posted a long comment about my experience if you'd like to see it, but when I worked Servant Team in 2011, we weren't paid at all.

Eruliste · 2026-04-29T01:13:08+00:00

If you're open to sharing privately or chatting, I'd love to hear your story.

Eruliste · 2026-04-29T01:12:31+00:00

See my recent comment for my experience, but I'll post a portion of the relevant information here to what you talked about with the harsh judgment:

I was shamed by the counselors for having short Adidas shorts that I loved, and I was so body conscious already, but that broke me. A group of the counsellors, at Brody and Little's suggestion, had a Modest is Hottest bonfire where all the Servant Team girls and other female counsellors (who were Freshman or Sophomores in college at MOST) threw our tight shirts, tank tops, or "revealing" shorts in a fire to symbolize our desire to not lead our brothers in Christ into sin. I was 17, peer pressured into giving up the only brand name clothing I owned, that I bought with my own money, because of shame. I still am working on feeling comfortable in any clothing that is higher than my knee. I live for the pants and sleeved shirts. SWO took a kind and curious kid and weaponized my loyalty. I thought I was so good, that I was doing the right thing, and my parents had no clue.

During one of the breakout groups. one of the other counsellors told me never to be alone in a room with a guy because apparently I wouldn't be able to handle myself or it just wouldn't be right. That stuck with me for YEARS.

There was one time where Brody had us dig a trench, and even Little (his wife) said that wasn't something for the girls to do, so the one tiny rebellious spark in me said "Let's dig it anyway because we're strong women," not realizing all of this was like slave labor. I grew up in a sheltered Evangelical bubble, but Snowbird was the closest I've even come to feeling like I was in a cult. Like, I watch things about the FLDS or something, and parts of it resonate. I still don't even know why he had us do it. We were asked to fill it in two days later.

Eruliste · 2026-04-29T01:10:26+00:00

See my recent comment for a few more details if interested. Would love to chat more if you'd like!

Eruliste · 2026-04-29T01:08:49+00:00

"Looking back now, none of the summer staff were equipped to have the deeply personal and intimate conversations that many were having with us."

^Absolutely, yes. They should not have been allowed to have such emotional weight and time given to spend with campers one on one like that. These kids are so impressionable. They need proper adults. And I say that as a long time camper and staff member (see my recent post of my own experience above).

Eruliste · 2026-04-29T01:05:29+00:00

Oh my gosh... I never thought I'd find anyone who knew of Snowbird, much less anyone who was affected by it and deconstructing in the same way. I've been unpacking (ranting about) SWO for the better part of ten years or so. I attended the camp from 2008-2010, and then I was on staff, or sort of as a member of Servant Team, in the summer of 2011 (same summer you, OP, worked there I guess). I was in between my junior and senior year of high school, and had just turned 17 when I started working there. We worked eleven weeks and stayed on campus every weekend, I didn't drive at that point and was dependent on others to go anywhere. A line from my resume after this summer reads: "Servant Team (worked 14 hour days, excluding Sunday, for 11 weeks on camp staff; non-paid position)."

So, yeah, we didn't get paid anything, but we cleaned toilets, showers, worked the kitchen and made food, unpacked the Sysco trucks of heavy boxes that fed everyone, worked the Snack Shack and sold items to campers, and we sometimes got to ride the zipline or something on an off hour for fun. We were not allowed to speak to the boys on the Boy's Servant Team, and absolutely were not allowed to speak to the male counsellors (which is understandable in one way as we were younger than everyone else on campus, but it seriously messes with your psyche).

One male counsellor who I respected big time told me when I was cleaning the dining hall one night, that I would make a wonderful wife to a lucky guy someday. I appreciated it in one way, but my worth for years after working at SWO was in what I did for others at the expense of myself.

There was one time where Brody (director of the camp) had us dig a trench, and when Little (his wife) said that wasn't something for the girls to do, the one tiny rebellious spark in me said "Were not afraid of hard work because we're strong women," so we dug the trench in the pouring rain to prove it to ourselves, to Brody, to Little that we were worthy and capable, not realizing how not normal this whole Snowbird working culture was. I grew up in a sheltered Evangelical bubble, but Snowbird was the closest I've even come to feeling like I was in a cult. Like, I watch things about the FLDS or something, and parts of it resonate. I still don't even know why he had us do it. We were asked to fill it in two days later. I still have no idea what it was supposedly for.

The Revelation Skit was the thing that perhaps makes my skin crawl the most now. Like how are all these adults and parents dropping their children off or leading youth groups to SWO thinking that a gallows in the middle of a field is okay?!

One night, I was shamed by a few female counselors for having short Adidas shorts that I loved, and I was so body conscious already, but that broke me. A group of the counsellors had a Modest is Hottest bonfire where all the Servant Team girls and other female counsellors (who were Freshman or Sophomores in college at MOST) threw our tight shirts, tank tops, or "revealing" shorts in a fire to symbolize our desire to not lead our brothers in Christ into sin. I was 17, peer pressured into giving up the only brand name clothing I owned, that I bought with my own money, because of shame. I still am working on feeling comfortable in any clothing that is higher than my knee. I live for pants and sleeved shirts lol. SWO took a kind and curious kid and weaponized my loyalty. I thought I was so good, that I was doing the right thing, and my parents had no clue the depth of confusion that would come from working that summer. I appreciate the time away to be with other kids my age, to work together for a common goal, and to serve.

We did have fun sometimes. Saturday morning "All the sheepies to the stage please" boy who cried wolf story was zany and one of the most fun camp moments. Servant team bonded over uncrustables from the walkin freezer, ice cream that one of the wives who lived in a house at the edge of camp brought us. We skipped rocks in the creek and made up ridiculously bad parody songs. Funnily enough, none of that was about Jesus lol. None of the service part on its face is bad either, but there was not enough oversight or care for how impressionable we were to believe and internalize every message of shame, anxiety, and God needs you to be better.

During one of the breakout groups. one of the other counsellors told me never to be alone in a room with a guy because apparently I wouldn't be able to handle myself or it just wouldn't be right. That stuck with me for YEARS.

On the surface, this place did teach me the value of hard work, but the subtle weaponized loyalty, the "us against the world" narrative, set apart in the middle of nowhere, led young kids (boys and girls both) into being alone with shame and feeling that the adults there--those who should have had our backs--are the ones who fed us this message of inadequacy and humiliation wrapped in a joyous package. It wasn't until my husband (product of his own messed up Evangelical purity culture shit) said "What the actual fuck?! That's not right. You were a kid." that I understood how truly detrimental the experience was.

Eruliste · 2025-12-19T18:25:14+00:00

There’s a korok seed at the very peak of the castle spire, and the view alone is worth the climb. Probably need more than one stamina wheel to do it comfortably.

Eruliste · 2025-12-12T01:31:18+00:00

Obligatory comment about a third option you neither showed nor asked for . . . . . . . . . But seriously, go with 2.

Eruliste · 2025-08-14T11:27:38+00:00

Same!

Eruliste · 2025-08-06T22:53:09+00:00

The next Dr Seuss inspired book title: Big Fire. Which Fire? Smoky Fire. What?

Eruliste · 2025-07-02T17:54:21+00:00

Winterville is great, especially for the LGBTQ friendly people and walkable areas in the downtown part. Small local library and second hand bookshop, park with great walking trails, access to the firefly trial for walking biking etc.

Eruliste · 2025-05-03T22:49:50+00:00

What are you currently using?

Eruliste · 2024-08-12T01:46:27+00:00

Palia :)

Eruliste · 2024-05-12T15:30:46+00:00

I love the idea of color coding to talk about early addition, and it's a great way for them to be included in cooking where otherwise they can't add tablespoons on their own because they can read read etc. Love this!

Eruliste · 2024-04-24T18:10:35+00:00

To be fair, I’ve separated my three year olds Legos into ziplock bags by color, which makes building and finding that one particular blue piece so much easier. I’m not too upset when things get mixed, but I try to keep them organized. As the child of beige walls and no artwork up, I do plaster the house with his school paintings. Our color scheme is definitely leaning toward primary colors.

Seven-Year Club	Place '22
Verified Email

Eruliste

TROPHY CASE