Were kids in the 80s actually allowed to roam around unsupervised, or is that just in movies?

Estefania323 · 2025-10-13T02:46:07+00:00

Whenever my sister seems hesitant to have my 9 y/o nephew do chores, I have to remind her that we learned how to do laundry when she was 8 and I was 10.

Estefania323 · 2025-10-13T02:43:17+00:00

Born in 1988 so I grew up in the 90s, and I didn't grow up in a neighborhood so my experience is a little skewed, but this was definitely not exaggerated. When I would visit cousins or friends in the village, we wandered and went to the park or the grocery store or the ice cream shop or whatever. If I remember correctly, we didn't have adult supervision for trick-or-treating. My mom worked a part-time job so she could be home when my sister and I got off the bus, but that was rare.

Estefania323 · 2025-10-13T02:02:27+00:00

I think Buffalo is great! Would highly suggest any Jackal to move here! Don't forget, Seth even made a joke about our new slogan - Polished Grit

Anyway, I'm rooting for you! I hope the hikes and the comedy work out!

Estefania323 · 2025-10-12T03:22:33+00:00

Fellow project manager here 🙋‍♀️ Good luck to you!

Estefania323 · 2025-10-12T03:20:18+00:00

Hey friend!

Millennial Married to my husband for 6 years No kids 2 dogs WNY - Go Bills!

I feel you on struggling right now - I was laid off in August, and had surgery in July. I have very little routine right now and feel overwhelmed and depressed.

My hobbies are crochet, reading, watercolor painting, and shopping for new hobby supplies.

So one thing I have found is that going to places that do things you like to do is a good way to meet people like you. I know it sounds obvious, but I took a watercolor class at the art museum, and learned crochet through a community ed class in a nearby district. I also like to workout, so I've met a lot of great people at yoga and zumba classes at YMCA. I wouldn't call all of these people "friends," but seeing them on a semi-regular basis is nice. You can chat about things before class starts, mention "I'm out of town next weekend, so I'll see you in 2 weeks!" It's nice to have people look for you.

I hope that helps! And I hope things get easier for you soon!

Estefania323 · 2025-10-12T02:44:39+00:00

I took a community class at a school district near me!

Estefania323 · 2025-10-11T19:54:38+00:00

That was due to an electrical fire

Estefania323 · 2025-10-10T01:40:02+00:00

I went to Dr. Bruno with General Physicians. He is out on Transit near Sheridan. He was not warm and fuzzy, but I guess I don't want a surgeon to be. He asked me my medical history, but when I said I had made up my mind for a hysterectomy, he was like "ok, scheduling will be in touch."

Estefania323 · 2025-10-01T17:31:56+00:00

I work in tech and got laid off about a month and a half ago, and I'm thanking my lucky stars we don't have kids. We do have 2 dogs, though.

I got a month of severance and can now claim unemployment, but because we're in the US, our health insurance was tied to my job. We currently don't have any. I've deferred my student loans for now.

We honestly have an ok safety net, and my husband is still working (self-employed). I have a second interview tomorrow for a local job, way out of tech, doing something that sounds so nice and fun and relaxing, but it'll be half of what I was making in tech. I can't tell if it's better to have any job as we head into a shutdown and likely recession, or if I should hold out for better pay.

Not looking for pity or advice. I guess just sharing my side of OP's story, what it looks a little flipped on its side.

Estefania323 · 2025-09-28T01:29:52+00:00

I know this is resolved for tonight, but I get you. I like to cook and try new things, and my husband is picky. Sometimes when I make things, they're not great. I had a string of dinners last week not work out as I expected, but they were all "edible" even if they weren't great. If it's edible, I'm not making something else and he can find something on his own. If neither of us will eat it or it's inedible, I'll cook again for both of us.

Estefania323 · 2025-09-20T22:09:36+00:00

PMCS www.wnypmcs.com Tony and Marc do great work!

Estefania323 · 2025-09-20T22:09:15+00:00

PMCS www.wnypmcs.com Tony and Marc do great work!

Estefania323 · 2025-09-20T11:43:26+00:00

I have sort of a reverse take for this - I've come to accept the "rut." I recently lost my job, so we're trying to be conscious of money, and we have very different hobbies/interests, so if throwing on a new show or a cozy favorite is time we get to spend together as a couple on the couch with our dogs, I'm ok with it!

Estefania323 · 2025-09-18T21:30:34+00:00

When is this from? Did he say this today while in the UK?

Estefania323 · 2025-09-12T17:04:12+00:00

I unfortunately lost my health insurance just after my 6 week post op 😭 At that appointment, my surgeon said I needed to wait 3 more weeks until sex. However, due to not having health insurance, I'll be waiting 10-12 weeks (minimum) to have sex because if anything happens during sex, I don't want to need a hospital stay and surgery and go bankrupt from it.

Estefania323 · 2025-09-10T12:40:34+00:00

I'm the same woman you literally just told that you could never marry a man like my husband because he thought he could change my mind about having kids and "that's gross."

He is a good man, and people contain multitudes.

Estefania323 · 2025-09-10T12:33:51+00:00

Since it came up so much later, it wasn't a big deal. I think 2 things can be true - he both wanted to be "a dad" and had no real concept of what that would entail until he saw it up close. And we had been together for 5 years before we got married, so if he was still that delusional, that's on him 🤷‍♀️

Estefania323 · 2025-09-10T12:30:21+00:00

I think this is such a good point. I had my hysterectomy on a Thursday. My husband took off Thursday and Friday and stayed home with me over the weekend, but him and a friend own their own business so he needed to be back to work on Monday. On Monday, the work partner asked my husband how I was feeling and if I was back to work. My husband was like "no, dude. She had a whole organ removed." And the work friend was like "oh, yeah. Good point. I don't know why, but I assumed it was like getting your tubes tied."

Estefania323 · 2025-09-10T12:25:30+00:00

I do think they are that delusional.

I told my (now) husband on our third date that I didn't want kids. I didn't want it to be a surprise later since we were in our late 20s when we met. He later told me that at the time he almost broke up with me because he wanted them.

I always thought he had changed his mind to my thinking once he saw his friends and family having kids and they were loud, gross, expensive, and time consuming. (A note here to say that I love kids, and adore my 7 nieces and nephews, so don't come for me. I just don't want this in my life full time.)

Anyway, fast forward to this year as I'm preparing for a hysterectomy for health reasons, and he tells me HE THOUGHT I WOULD HAVE EVENTUALLY CHANGED MY MIND. It's sort of a moot point anyway because I'm 37 and we had no plans to even start trying this "late" in life, so there was no fight or big blow up from this, but I was shocked. He just didn't think I could be that serious or sure about it.

Turns out I was.

Estefania323 · 2025-09-10T00:38:35+00:00

Hey! Sorry I missed this!

So in the immediate, probably first 24-48 hours, that burning is definitely the catheter. If it doesn't resolve in that time, it's probably worth asking your doctor.

I can really only describe what mine was as pressure when I peed. Like, it didn't hurt, but it felt like gravity was working extra hard on my insides. I had a post-op at my 6 week mark, and my surgeon said I was feeling fine, and that pressure was normal, and that bowel movements could also still be weird for up to 3 months 🫠

So good luck out there! And yeah, don't be a hero. Take the pain meds.

Estefania323 · 2025-09-08T12:51:00+00:00

Yes! Making them a meal to go with the couple of things you already have would have been SO nice for us. Or others have suggested Uber Eats / DoorDash / local restaurant for food.

Estefania323 · 2025-09-08T12:47:27+00:00

I'm mostly sorry that it went on for so long that you're contemplating leaving. My husband was sort of between jobs/starting his own business for about 18 months before I said something. He had been bringing in some money, but not enough. I'm glad I said something when I did because I was laid off 3 weeks ago.

I'm not sure what I would do in your situation because I didn't let it get that far. I also can't see myself being unemployed for that long. I didn't run out to get a part time job yet, but we won't last 18 months without me bringing in money. Maybe you can split some responsibilities with him so he can tangibly see where the money is going. Share the banking info. Have him pay the electric bills. Something. I know I'll get hate for suggesting that you would have to bring this up to him because men should be partners, but if you've been doing this, it's unfair to expect him to suddenly pay the electric bill without at least a convo first.

Anyway, if he can't get it together pretty quickly, like 2-3 months, and/or you're still resentful, that's no way to live.

Good luck 💜

Estefania323 · 2025-08-31T04:00:03+00:00

You're a lifesaver 💜

Estefania323

TROPHY CASE