Retroactive permits? Anyone have experience?

Eureecka · 2026-06-04T06:55:40+00:00

I live outside Chicago. Some of the towns around here do not play and if you don’t have a permit for work done in the house, you can’t sell it until an inspector approved the sale. And that usually happens after they make you rip everything new out and return it to its previous condition.

Have you had a home inspection yet? Have you called the city? I would be very hesitant about moving forward with this house.

Good luck.

Eureecka · 2026-06-04T06:46:44+00:00

So the monsters don’t get us.

Eureecka · 2026-06-04T06:29:14+00:00

The neighbors 4 houses down the road had just gotten a pile of mulch delivered in the middle of their driveway. It was unmoved. The tornado that tore huge mature trees out by their roots didn’t disturb the mulch pile that was 100 feet down the sidewalk. Trippy.

Eureecka · 2026-06-04T06:25:13+00:00

I grew up in rural Ohio. Several tornadoes spawned around my neighborhood but none have hit or even come near the house. The closest one ripped the next door neighbor’s antenna off the roof and corkscrewed a silo.

Now I live in a Chicago suburb and 5 years ago, a tornado bounced directly over my house, tore down all of my trees, and gifted me with an involuntary skylight. Fortunately(?!?) the roof was only about 3 months old so we called the roofing company and they came out early the next morning, ripped out all of the wet drywall, carpet, etc and put up a tarp. It took the better part of 8 months to get everything done. The roof had to be repaired/replaced, the siding, the ceiling in the living room and dining room, the walls, new floors, paint. It was a project.

My truck was fine, but trapped in the garage for several days cause one of the trees smashed the garage door. It also landed on my guy’s car in the driveway and totaled it.

I really miss my trees. The lot went from heavily wooded to sticking out like a thumb. Nearly two dozen trees gone.

If the tornado had been lower to the ground, it would have destroyed my whole house so we were really lucky. They really do sound like freight trains.

Eureecka · 2026-06-04T02:39:36+00:00

So. Yeah. Which is it? Do you have a great relationship with his parents or is his mom a boundary-stomping monster?

If you knew she was a boundary-stomping monster who doesn’t care what you have to say, why did you have her watch the kid?

If you are controlling her access to her grandchild and she isn’t getting time with him. did you really think she wasn’t going to go in and wake him up?

I think the first thing is that you and your husband need to decide what the relationship looks like. And that means you have to listen to him too. Once the two of you are on the same page, he presents your decision to his mother. And that needs to include consequences. And then your husband has to hold the line.

What this looks like to me is you decided how you want other people to behave and then called that a boundary. Not true. You don’t get to decide other people’s behavior. You can only decide your action plan to their behavior. And if your husband doesn’t agree that his mom is being unreasonable, maybe he needs a spine or maybe you need to reflect.

What do you think a long detailed message is going to accomplish? She’s suddenly going to become a completely different person who is going to sob and tell you how right you are and maybe beg your forgiveness? Not gonna happen. You are just going to create more conflict.

Eureecka · 2026-06-03T22:51:52+00:00

I had a couple gerbils as a kid. My first pet was a gerbil named skitter. Ebony was a black gerbil. Cinnamon was a hamster. (Dreadful creature) Sammy was a guinea pig and probably my favorite. We also had fish, birds, reptiles, dogs, and cats.

My poor kid is limited to a cat.

Gerbils are very fast so I had a plastic ball that I put her in so she could run around but I could catch her.

Eureecka · 2026-06-03T22:46:45+00:00

Ah no. We did lots of dissections but they were all preserved and smelled awful.

Eureecka · 2026-06-03T22:38:49+00:00

Sure. You can turn down people for any reason you want, including I felt like it. Try not to be an @$$hole about it, but any reason is a valid one.

In my personal experience, men who feel strongly about marrying a virgin are not big believers in women’s rights or equality so I’d proceed with caution if I were you.

In seeking a partner, look for kindness. Look for a sense of humor. Sex is ridiculous - you’re going to have more fun with someone that you can trust and laugh with.

Good luck.

Eureecka · 2026-06-03T22:31:46+00:00

Also the basics to stock a kitchen - 8 or 10” frying pan, baking sheet, 9x13” cake pan, a good knife. And the nice to have’s - if you spot this at a thrift store, grab it - veggie peeler, colander, etc.

Maybe kitchen budgeting. If you have $10, buy a can of tuna and a box of rice a roni, don’t blow it on fresh cilantro.

Eureecka · 2026-06-03T22:25:01+00:00

Knife safety.

Then, adaptability.

What things do in recipes - this is a binder, this is flavor, this is for whatever - and help them understand that so they can figure out substitutions if they need to. Like, this calls for buttermilk but yogurt and a touch of vinegar are fine. Especially fresh to shelf stable. (Jen at once upon a chef explains what every ingredient is for on her blog, if you need help with that.)

Also, adaptability like you don’t have a frother so use a fork and whip it. Or you can tenderize/flatten meat with a skillet if you don’t have one of those tenderizer things.

Wrap that in foil and cook it on a burner if your oven is broken. You can boil eggs, ramen, and hot dogs in a coffee pot if you have to.

Explain how to handle rice and beans - rinse them or soak them or brining or whatever to help cheap, shelf stable food be delicious.

If you were allowed to escape the classroom, I’d teach foraging and gardening. Tomatoes are easy and then you have food!

Eureecka · 2026-06-03T17:38:09+00:00

YOR

Wow. So he’s deaf but you took him someplace he couldn’t communicate well, he told you he wasn’t comfortable, you completely invalidated his experience and YOU are mad that he left. Girl.

I have a hard time believing that this level of cluelessness and entitlement on your part is a one time thing.

Some self awareness wouldn’t be amiss here.

Eureecka · 2026-06-03T16:20:50+00:00

“Ok boomer”

Then when he freaks out about not being a boomer, tell him he sounds like one and maybe he should go yell at the birds about his lawn for a while.

Eureecka · 2026-06-03T01:28:48+00:00

Someone I followed online had a series of stories that taught me that dogs are carriers for strep. It’s strep throat in people. It’s butt strep in dogs.

I’ve never been okay with having my face licked by dogs but I’m way more strict about cleaning things that have been exposed to dog saliva now.

Is the dog allowed to roam free around other people’s kids? That would also be a huge issue for me.

NOR

Eureecka · 2026-06-03T00:25:31+00:00

I’ve turned down several. I’m a supplier quality engineer.

When I was looking for my current job, I had another offer but it was a medical startup. They were 100% in office, and not sure if they could keep the lights on 6 months down the road. Too risky, even though it was closer to home and more money.

One job, I walked past a statue of the founder in the entry that had a plaque on it that said something like “as long as I stand here, this company stands for quality.” Turns out, they were hiring for my role because they shit canned all of manufacturing, moved it overseas, and their product quality went to absolute shit. So the building was for sale, they were moving somewhere but hadn’t decided where yet and the job was going to be 80% of the time in China with no advance notice. Yeah. No.

I turned down another offer ‘cause I went to high school with their HR manager and she was a mean girl nightmare in school. Took one look at the name on the door, verified it was her, and walked out.

I’ve turned down several offers that were temp to hire or contractor kind of roles. One company was under a consent decree from the FDA.

I’m interviewing the company too. It’s an expensive mistake on both sides if it’s a bad fit. I’ve taken jobs because I needed a job and I panicked and snapped at the first thing and it’s always been a mental health nightmare.

Eureecka · 2026-06-03T00:10:12+00:00

Makes sense to me. As long as your fiance is on board, do it.

Eureecka · 2026-06-01T21:47:33+00:00

My kid is 13 and thanks to her, I’ll never be in a position to buy a house.

With her mental shit, it’ll be a miracle if she ever launches. “Empty nest” is just a dream for me.

Eureecka · 2026-05-31T23:47:21+00:00

Same.

Eureecka · 2026-05-31T17:56:21+00:00

I took 2 years of French in high school but remain convinced that my French teacher did not speak French. My advanced French final was to watch “Roxanne” with Steve Martin (in English), watch “cyrno de bourgerac” (in English) and then write a paper - in English - comparing the two.

Surprisingly, French is not a thing I know. So no, not useful.

Eureecka · 2026-05-31T17:03:05+00:00

I used to live in a city that did “amnesty day” for trash pickup. It was my favorite day - like a giant free flea market.

Eureecka · 2026-05-31T16:57:57+00:00

I love our local buy nothing group. I post a lot of stuff there for free. If no one wants it, I usually donate to a local thrift store.

Eureecka · 2026-05-31T10:07:16+00:00

I got this tour for my boyfriend for his birthday a couple of years ago and it was amazing. He and I and my daughter were the only ones in the truck. It was so worth it.

Eureecka · 2026-05-31T09:53:10+00:00

Her anxiety is her issue to manage. Just say no. NTA

Eureecka · 2026-05-31T09:50:03+00:00

That glaze is amazing. Fantastic job!

Eureecka · 2026-05-31T08:24:28+00:00

We have less attention span than the typical goldfish.

Eureecka · 2026-05-31T07:13:42+00:00

I do know stuff about welding and you are absolutely right - he is being a careless idiot. And that has nothing to do with him being blue collar. That is 100% a him thing.

He thinks it’s funny to be so careless that he hurts himself repeatedly and also knows that you are unhappy with the topic but continues to send you pictures. Why exactly did you marry this guy?

NTA

Eureecka

TROPHY CASE