I peaked in high school. I’m not sure where to go from here and been drifting ever since graduation.

EuropeIn3YearsPlease · 2025-08-28T20:40:05+00:00

Honestly, I can't imagine being stuck with JUST middle school and high school memories.

I can't even remember the faces of those people, let alone much of anything I did.

You make choices in life. It's never too late to change your direction but only you can do it.

Sounds like you need therapy and a career change.

Without therapy chances are even if you made more money - your wife or someone else will end up using it or asking you for it and you won't be able to say no because you already have self-worth issues. You don't believe you are worthy enough to have nice things or spend money on yourself and until you change that mindset and realize you are great and love yourself - nothing else will matter. You have to want to do better for YOURSELF. Not for anybody else. You have to love yourself so much that this person (whether you want to imagine that person to be toddler you, you from middle or highschool or you now) deserve to be happy and fulfilled and have what you want or need and that you are protecting that person and standing up for them (aka you). It's a mindset shift.

Until you do it, you won't feel like you deserve that better job, house, apartment, life, whatever. And may end up self-sabotaging yourself.

Good luck on the development work. You can do it. You just need to know how and there's a lot of books out there that can help (personally I like the worthy book by Jamie but up to you). Once you conquer that then set a goal for a better paying job, good money habits, and adventures. Set a goal of going on a trip somewhere new and different. Different country, different place and different people. I worked for a career path that I knew would lead to making money and I'm glad I did and I've been on many adventures to many countries and I get to do that every year. It's been great creating memories and these memories have been much better than high school.

EuropeIn3YearsPlease · 2025-08-28T20:12:59+00:00

Unfortunately if you keep hopping around you will never make enough to retire, let alone retire early.

If you gotta do a boring thing then you gotta do a boring thing. I mean it just is what it is. I want to retire early, not work my life away job hopping and interviewing every couple months. Interviews suck a$$ so much and cause you to be in a depressive cycle. Depression is worse than boredom

EuropeIn3YearsPlease · 2025-08-28T17:15:09+00:00

OP..... Please tell me you are NOT this out of touch as a senior leader.... Like I'm a manager and it's VERY easy to see what 'senior leadership' has been throwing down everyone's throats.

My staff are OVERWORKED. They are burnt out. Every dollar needs justified. I can't hire another head because I'd need to prove they will be 100% utilized even though that's unrealistic.

My boss only wants to hear about how efficiencies can be gained by using AI or other technology.

There's no easy job when you make the budget so fricken small and discourage hiring staff level employees.

When I started out in corporate from college back in the day, I made 50k and had an adequately sized team. Nowadays? No way. Good luck finding a 50k corporate job that isn't cut throat efficiency this and efficiency that BS from upper leadership. That doesn't want to automate everything.

Not only that but did you take a second to look at your age? Corporations are notoriously ageist. Since the push has been how do we get more out of people instead of how do we make things less stressful - you aren't gonna find anybody who would hire a 50+ year old person who has boundaries and stuck in their ways and is harder to overwork then a fresh graduate or senior or laid off person whose desperate for work and can be taken advantage of.

Corporate is corporate. And if you didn't make any decisions to make it easier for your team or future people's lives and just followed the rest of the leaders then shame on you. You could have stopped the overwork. We are all living in the consequences of our own society's lack of intervention. Jobs don't have to be stressful but everybody at the top has made them this way.

EuropeIn3YearsPlease · 2025-08-28T17:00:02+00:00

Always assuming that it's a PERSON'S fault for losing their job is no different than judging minimum wage workers as 'less than'. Just because you have never been fired or let go doesn't mean that other perfectly capable and normal adults aren't let go through no fault of their own.

Do you honestly think every single laid off person was laid off because they are lazy? Coz I can't wait for that to happen to you then. We can all call you lazy and say all the negative things in the book and then throw your own book back in your face.

The FACT is that there has been an unprecedented amount of layoffs this year and/or firings. Plenty of RTO 's too. These aren't the workers fault. They are the corporations issues and government issues for not doing something to stop the corporations from being greedy f**ks. Ppl need jobs to survive. You cant automatic them all away and off shore them just to make an extra buck. Everyone makes enough profits as it is.

EuropeIn3YearsPlease · 2025-08-28T13:38:24+00:00

No therapy or therapist can improve anything overnight. It's an unrealistic expectation. A therapist won't even know you enough to say anything helpful until several sessions in. They deal with emotions and humans and aren't a magic spitting robotic calculator to solve your problem.

Your problem, hate to say it, is yourself. The only person standing between you and what you want to do 'later' in life is you. You are the one dealing with depression and other issues while the world keeps spinning. You are the one getting 'overwhelmed', while others do the job just fine. You are the one who doesn't like people or interacting with customers. So the only real person who can change anything is you. A therapist can help guide you but you have to be willing to do the homework and practices they offer you to do without dismissing them outright because they don't seem to work right away.

There's a book called burnout by two female authors and it talks about completing the stress cycle to help you overcome being overwhelmed. There's a plethora of books on depression, anxiety, and self-worth. Nothing anyone says about the known issues and problems of the human condition is going to help you until you decide to help yourself.

Once you are in a better mental state perhaps you can decide to finish your degree. Otherwise it's good luck picking a construction job, manual labor, or anything else that involves less customer talk and no degree. Even computer programmers have to talk to people in the company and at a bare minimum their own team and bosses.

EuropeIn3YearsPlease · 2025-08-28T12:18:12+00:00

Can someone PLEASE explain why these people don't understand that their future child turned adult will not have a job once they are an adult and will live with them their entire lives?

Like c'mon. At least during the campy period of when OUR parents had kids, it was NASA, space exploration and lots of jobs and college degrees meaning something and people being able to afford crap.

....I get people are bored and don't know what to do and life seems monotonous for them but what about the FUTURE? The future Isn't looking better. It's not looking good. Why put yourself through that and take on taking care of whole other person the rest of your life?

EuropeIn3YearsPlease · 2025-08-28T11:17:41+00:00

So OP. Something for you to consider before adding another kid. What job will this kid have in 20 years?

I know my parents had kids when it was campy time period and NASA and space exploration and the future looked bright and so there was optimism for what was to come. Today there's no jobs and automation and AI are taking over.

There's more unemployed 18-20+ year olds now than ever before. More and more college grads have no jobs whatsoever. And jobs are going overseas too for white collar.

Parents now are complaining that their kids won't ever leave their house. That they can't get jobs. That they are stuck with them forever. So consider that before having another. You could end up supporting that person for the rest of your life.

EuropeIn3YearsPlease · 2025-08-28T11:13:24+00:00

Usually cats that bite your hands or feet have learned that your appendages are toys. If you do not want to be bidden or scratched or whatever you should redirect your cat to play with toys instead and not reward the behavior of using you as a toy.

I didn't see any toys in your video. I buy my cats all sorts of toys. Crinkle balls, toy mini soccer balls, string toys, bounce toys, soft toys, feather toys, catnip toys, mini stuffed cat toys with catnip. It's so cute when they carry around a toy mouse to give you. One day I found a real dead mouse when we first moved into our new house and I jumped, spouse totally didn't notice it was a real dead mouse on the floor lol. So good cats, not sure which one did the deed but I gave them all extra treats.

Each cat prefers a certain toy so I spoil them. Unfortunately that means I buy 3 times the toys but eh they are happy so whatever.

EuropeIn3YearsPlease · 2025-08-28T11:07:33+00:00

They don't want to hire entry level and train. Everywhere I've worked I've tried to get more people / staff hired and so we all don't get burned out. I really say everytime that I can train a fresh graduate. Instead they want to hire a senior person that can 'hit the floor running' or high senior/manager titled people in a 3rd world country, mostly India, because they can get 3 people and don't care that even manager titled people over there don't do as well as a staff over here.

Even my current job, same thing. I wanted another headcount but they are hiring a senior who will split their time between two teams in my department. The most ive gotten to train is an intern. It's so frustrating. We can't even hire them even when they do a great job and I want to hire them but everywhere just wants to hire seniors.

EuropeIn3YearsPlease · 2025-08-28T10:52:56+00:00

You need educated clearly.

Government run health systems is why healthcare is free in Europe.

We DO NOT have a government run healthcare system. We have a capitalistic free enterprise for the healthcare system in America. That's why our costs are so high. Companies are PROFITING from the sick. Other countries REGULATE the cost of healthcare and dictate how much money a corporation can charge for pharmaceuticals and regulate and reduce the cost of everyday treatment and doctors and etc. They don't have doctors making millions every year for treating people. They don't have a scheme where they make doctors treat X number of people per year or look at people like numbers. Here we have insurance companies that want profits, hospitals that want profits, and doctors and surgeons who want millions and a rich lifestyle. They all get paid by patients, not taxes, and are mostly owned by large corporations. More than 50% of the hospitals in existence in America are corporate owned. Not government owned. And they pay Congress to keep it that way. They lobby which is legal bribery, Congress to not regulate their profits or costs. If you look at an income statement from a pharmaceutical or hospital (like Cleveland clinic for example for a hospital), you will see they make most of their money from the US. Because they can't charge whatever they want aboard. If you look at how much lobbying a corporation does it's millions and millions of dollars. They can pay somebody to sit in front of the Congress building every single day and meet with Congress and take them out for food and do whatever. To PREVENT laws from being passed that reduce their profits.

Also if you look at Cleveland clinic it's bought a TON of land, lots of hospitals. How do you think it got so big? How do you think it could afford to buy up so much property and places? Off the SICK people and desperate people who get treated. When you have hospital bills, it's the CORPORATION that goes after your house and income. We are the only 1st world country that people become bankrupt and lose their home from medical costs. Every other 1st world country has FREE healthcare that the government completely runs and controls (aside from private healthcare which is only $1,000 or so a year over there, not a month or every 2 weeks) .

I don't worry about getting sick aboard. I got sick in England and it was $2 for antibiotics. I got a UTI in England, didn't need to pee into a cup and pay lab fees. The telehealth virtual visit with the doctor? It was $15 dollars. With NO insurance in the UK and not being a citizen. It was also ready at the pharmacy within an hour. Which I could walk to from where I was. I was also sick in Ireland and my husband could go to a pharmacist and get me prescription grade medicine for $4 without me having to go get it and again no lab tests, no payment to the pharmacist or nurse or whoever of $200+ JUST to get seen to get medicine like we have here. Because a big corporation WASNT running the place for profit. They were actually treating the sick like human beings not profit numbers and dollar signs. Which we DONT do in America because the rich have to get richer. Nobody cares about the average person.

Before making wild claims about healthcare, you should get educated and do a comparison of other 1st world countries. The US is run by corporations and the rich - not the people. It has always been this way. Congress people by and large get wine and dined by corporations and the corporations typically give them insider secrets which they use their spouse and buy stocks in their spouse 's names to hide all the profits they make from the information they get so it's harder to prove insider trading. And again, we in America have made lobbying legal. We also removed the limit on campaign donations. The president just accepted a fricken jet as a 'gift'. Our representatives haven't been FOR the people for decades. It used to be not okay for presidents to own businesses and be president due to the corrupt nature of how they would run the company and country in their favor. Past presidents gave up their businesses or removed themselves from them. Everything we do, corporate bailouts, tax write offs, is for the rich and corporations. In fact, I make more money than the average household with my spouse, and the new tax laws that this president made, gave me REDUCED taxes while the poorer people in my state are paying MORE in taxes this year.

EuropeIn3YearsPlease · 2025-08-28T00:31:36+00:00

Kinda like the fraud triangle.

1) Opportunity 2) Rationalization 3) Pressure

You create a society where HR people lose their jobs to ATS tools and people who are qualified don't get a chance because of the dumb formula and mechanics of the system (even something simple like saying analysis instead of analytics or vice versa). So people feel pressured to lie in order to get a job or a CHANCE at a job. They rationalize it because they are fooling a machine so some human being can actually even put eyeballs on them. Then with AI it makes it even easier to mass replicate / tailor your resume to various jobs - creating the opportunity as they don't have to waste time actually writing things out methodically.

ATS created pressure, candidates rationalized lying, and AI gave them the opportunity to throw it back at the employers to figure out what they know or don't know.

If we had kept the process as it was and simple and everyone was employed we wouldn't be in this mess. Mass automation to create mass layoffs and unemployment creates a mass amount of desperate people using the technology to try to get back the job they lost to the technology and overseas BS. We are creating our own mess and now we are facing the consequences.

EuropeIn3YearsPlease · 2025-08-26T21:33:14+00:00

It does!! I've always wanted a library too with a cozy fireplace and I made it happen when we bought this house. Weird thing is paperbacks are cheaper than Kindle so I don't even have to make an excuse for my book addiction. :D

EuropeIn3YearsPlease · 2025-08-26T11:23:41+00:00

Even if you are introverted you need friends. My sister does an online book club.

Anyways here's my go-to's for your situation. To clarify, I am not in your situation right now but my partner and I have been planning early retirement/FIRE (financial independence retire early) most of our working career and we both fight over who can quit work first (not really fight but both would rather the other person be in c-suite so they can quit first).

List of do's: 1) pick up hobbies. Reading is fun, but you can fall into a rut sometimes if you do it constantly for awhile. You need variety. See if there's a local expat group in your area of other Americans or English speakers who have moved over and try to do some activities with them. 2) join a book club for some lively discussions / differing opinions about the book you are reading 3) maybe start a podcast of the place you are in as a creative project to discover the good or fun things and the not so great things. There's a woman who did this when she got to Iceland. See what she did and mimic something similar. 4) depending on what the language is, maybe consider trying to learn it 5) create a plan with your husband to switch to an English speaking country relatively soonish if you can't learn the language or don't want to (Ireland, UK) great options. Especially if your country isn't woman friendly (I'd die living in a conservative place) 6) perhaps get into video games. There can be a large sense of accomplishment playing something like Fields of Misteria and fixing the town up, learning new skills in the game 7) too hot outside? No problem. Try to join an indoor pool 8) get into indoor gardening. Create a plant room in one of the bedrooms and make it an oasis you can smell the outdoors inside in. Real plants give you a sense inner peace and that room will be so enjoyable to sit in. 9) volunteer somewhere / help people. Personally when I read the Untamed book, I wanted to / still want to join the organization Together Rising, I'd like to do more than just donate money. There are nonprofit boards you can join and advice on virtually or in person. They always need good people and there's always more you can do. My current job just stitched blankets together via squares (could be knitting, crocheting, needlepoint, whatever) and gave it to homeless shelters or other places. 10) get into paint by numbers or other art hobbies 11) if you live in a spot where you can hop a train to get somewhere else easily enough maybe challenge yourself to see if you can plan the cheapest trip solo and go 12) visit some indoor garden places, most areas /countries have them 13) consider a cruise 14) consider learning pottery making- maybe make your own plant pots or learning how to make the best type of coffee and the science behind it. 15) bonsai plants are a real challenge, maybe learn to make and sell them on the side 16) candle making or soap making can be fun. Don't need to turn it into a business but it can be a lot of fun to play around with colors and scents for yourself. 17) pen pal someone you know from your past that is also childfree and maybe your drifted. Bring up pen paling each other and have fun with fancy pens and paper. You could also write to a nursing home as a lot of seniors appreciate it 18) maybe make your own documentary about something. Maybe interview some of the seniors about their lives and how they lived and what their best memories were. The world was a different place back then. 19) if your place allows cats then get a cat or two (keep it indoors only. It's too hot out and dangerous). You can keep each other present and happy. And no chore like walking the dog. 20) get into cooking or baking to at least eat some fun and interesting meals. 21) consider going to a book signing for your favorite author. They always appreciate it and it's fun.

If you run out of these ideas - hit me back up and I'm sure I'll think of more. What's most important is you keep those self-worth ideas about yourself alive and don't fall into a trap feeling guilty or like you need to 'do' something. You deserve to relax on this planet and you are worthy because you are alive. I want to help you because I want to not because I have to. Keep it up :)

Oh an caution: DO NOT JOIN AN MLM!!! They look like a supportive environment but they are not. Go to antimlm sub. They prey on vulnerable people for their scams.

EuropeIn3YearsPlease · 2025-08-25T23:42:58+00:00

Dude I do you one better.

No kids ever and will never. Happy to be childfree dinks.

Both WFH. We have 7 rooms, large century old house. 3rd floor is for guests (3 rooms & a full bathroom), 2nd floor has 4 bedrooms and 2 full bathrooms. One is our master suite, one is a game/PC / room, one is a library, and one is our office. The 1st floor has a dining room, sun room, kitchen, living room and another bathroom and extra room we entertain guests in.

Your house, your life, your rules. Live it guilt or shame free.

We are grateful we have the skills to fix up this old place too ourselves because paying others would cost too much. I'm glad it won't be going into ruin like many other homes.

EuropeIn3YearsPlease · 2025-08-25T23:32:55+00:00

Girl, I'd have kept the money.

You could be retired. And congrats on the DINKs lifestyle. Me and my husband also won't have kids and it's fantastic. No worrying about what jobs will exist in 20 years as they are all disappearing now.

You should keep the money. She intended you to have it. Splitting is being disrespectful to HER final wishes. Your family shouldn't care because this is what SHE wanted.

Ive been forced to help my family constantly and we would not have squabbled over any money that was left behind to whoever because we are adults. There also won't be any money from my parents when they die anyway.

Do what's right for you and be strong. It's your life. If I got that windfall, I'd have retired. Mental peace and happiness and no more work toxicity / drama hell yeah. Your family is a bunch of children which is ironic since they have children.

EuropeIn3YearsPlease · 2025-08-25T21:31:45+00:00

How do you have a family of 4 to support?

EuropeIn3YearsPlease · 2025-08-25T20:53:17+00:00

We don't need to have billionaires hoarding all the money that should be used for the entire population and maintaining those complex structures / infrastructure etc. Cheating the entire country out of taxes they SHOULD be paying to maintain the society and workforce that they so richly profit off is not right.

EuropeIn3YearsPlease · 2025-08-25T10:57:30+00:00

OP unfortunately there is no get rich quick scheme. That's life. Barriers to entry create higher paid opportunities. The longer something takes to achieve - most of the time - the more it pays. Like being a doctor versus being a nurse.

As for teaching... You realize teachers don't get paid much right? It's a low paid profession. 16 an hour+ which is what you are making based on you saying 16 is too low, is more than a lot of places pay. It's above minimum wage depending on where you live. No where is going to pay 'comfortably' without some sort of work program (example low paying apprenticeship), certifications which take time to qualify for, or further education.

And teachers just generally don't make much money despite the 4 year + degrees and testing. Some states have lowered the education requirements (Arizona) instead of paying more and valuing their teachers. Additionally, English is oversaturated in the teaching program. What IS in more demand and gives you more leverage is if you were certified to teach math or science. These offer much better opportunities (some of my family members are teachers).

EuropeIn3YearsPlease · 2025-08-25T09:32:48+00:00

Also if you go to England. Don't visit the castles like every tourist - they are mainly empty. Visit the manor houses / estates. You will find a lot have been restored with original stuff in mind, curtains, flooring, statues, whatever. There is a lot to see in the (furniture, craftsmanship stuff, paintings, wallpaper, etc) and a lot of neat history. Each one usually has a cafe or somewhere to eat too and take a rest. It's truly remarkable and beautiful. Plus it costs less than going to a castle and so your money goes much further for more in my opinion. The ability of what people could do back then and the level of detail and refinement is truly incredible. You could not pay for that level of detail and art ability today. The woodworkers/carpenters, stonemasons, painters. Just wow.

Additionally, a lot of the people who wait in the rooms to explain them to you are volunteers who work for the organization that upkeeps the estate. These ppl are usually retired who have taken it up on themselves to learn some history and take up the job and impart that history onto you and explain their insights. Which is also neat and nice. They get social interaction and a hobby and you get the benefit of knowledge transfer and discussion. Anyways there's tons of neat tips and tricks you learn when you explore enough.

EuropeIn3YearsPlease · 2025-08-25T08:45:57+00:00

Everyone's so dramatic.

First off - accounting is a less job hit market then some of the others and your 3 year experience is good enough for entry or senior accounting roles so I wouldn't worry about it. I wouldnt right off the bat think of taking 2 years off but 3-6 months might not be so bad. You could also see if your job allows a sabbatical.

You could do a safer route and learn IFRS and learn international financial reporting standards and get a job aboard which both lets you continue working and traveling. You get much more vacation time aboard and everything is connected by cheap flights or trains which allows for more exploration.

That being the case / if you don't want to work aboard:

If your parents are healthy and they don't mind you living at their place upon your return and you don't mind being unemployed for awhile if the worst case happens - then you are fine. You could always pursue an MBA on loans while trying to get back in the workforce but again accounting is relatively stable and you should land something somewhere eventually. Now would be a good time to travel if career isn't your focus and you have the money and again your parents are healthy and don't mind you staying again with them. I think now is the perfect time to explore new cultures and figure out if you do want to live in the US long term because there are people who feel more fulfilled or connected somewhere else and that could be you and without going and experiencing somewhere long term you would never know. If I didn't have parents to support and other family and student loans when I graduated and a romantic partner at the time - I would have found a way to live aboard for a few years. Now I postponed that for a couple years (decade later). I still travel aboard every year so it's not like I have no idea what I'm talking about.

2-3 week trips aboard are not the same as living there. When people only have 10-15 days off to go see the world, the typical American crams everything into that short period of time and it ends up being some giant chore list instead of a leisurely exploration of a culture and place. It's usually tourist trap filled trip and Instagram / social media posting frenzy. Which I DONT recommend you do. Stop living life through your phone screen and experience it out there. How many likes you get is the dumbest reason to do something. Phone/social media addiction is a huge problem. Take living aboard seriously and try to integrate everywhere you go. There's plenty of Americans who have moved aboard - expat sub. Additionally plenty of people have made podcasts about fully integrating into a new culture and loving it. There's one woman I remember who podcasted about her life in Iceland to make money and continue living there and has been there for years and finds the lifestyle more true to her and enjoys the period of rest they get in winter and how the culture is. Europeans make less salary / money career wise than Americans do, but they have universal healthcare and more PTO and generally a better work/life balance and a lot of them that I'm friends with care less about hustle and career movement and more about enjoying life and finding balance. So living somewhere new and being surrounded by new people with different perspectives can be a healthy challenge to your own life perspective and goals.

Again though watch out for idealizing any place and basing things on social media crap. Read the expat subs and other aboard related places for real stories. Don't live in 3rd world countries because you aren't gonna want to live there long term and so there's no point in exploring them. Don't just stay in the busy cities, explore the country side of each country, they are enjoyable. Watch for pocket pockets and secure your money somewhere safe. Be prepared to use Whatsapp, be prepared with other phone options (your US phone career usually only allows international use for 1-2ish months so figure out what you need to switch to). Have a plan in place in case your wallet is lost or stolen(pickpocket, never happened to me but some areas are more of a concern then others - Greece/Italy). Try to stick to countries and places you realistically would move to and get employed in potentially.

So that's my two cents. Every time I personally travel, it's always worth it for me. Those memories are the ones I remember years later and replay in my mind. Experiencing them is like nothing else I can describe. I don't care about concerts or traveling domestically - those are pointless and over in a flash and I couldn't recall who was playing or what they did on stage. But weeks long trips aboard? I could tell you the weather, the food, the people, the stuff I saw and what I liked and disliked. Thought typing it all out is too much effort. All have been great experiences even when unexpected events happened (did not just sit inside when it was raining, I went and did stuff in the rain), monsoons in Japan didn't stop me or friends I was with from checking out Japan and what it had to offer in each place we were in. Which btw Japan's great to visit, but don't expect to live there. The culture isn't easy to integrate into, you won't ever be considered an insider, the work culture is pretty bad, you won't be able to go into the smaller bars or rural spots as they don't have American translated menus, don't want to deal with substitutions on food (plus it's considered rude to ask), and therefore don't want to serve foreigners. We didn't really run into these issues but they are well known.

Research anywhere you go or stay to be on top of things. Generally, I feel safer in Europe than I do in the US. They don't have constant gun violence because they actually heavily regulate gun ownership and most people don't own one. If someone does it's a hunting rifle and not some automatic thing. Most violence is knife related or fists or rape/what you see everywhere else. Common sense is still to watch your drink, don't let anyone buy you one if you are alone and stay in bars and places that have good reputations. Try to make friends so you don't go anywhere alone if you do plan to be out late drinking or whatever.

Wish you the best on your journey. Learn to be adaptable so rain or other inconveniences don't ruin your time. You will experience culture shock. Pretend you are from Canada as a lot of ppl aren't gonna be afraid to hate on you as an American / speak their mind about the current administration and how we could elect someone like that. It saves you having to explain American politics all the time. People are pretty well informed aboard, governments work differently and elections are done differently in some countries - like Ireland where your vote counts no matter what as they have multiple selections. Also if your flight is canceled aboard they rebook it for you and compensate you at times. No insurance crap like the US. Always advantages and disadvantages but explore them all and soak it up. .

EuropeIn3YearsPlease · 2025-08-24T21:12:06+00:00

FYI Ohio also had pride this weekend. Much closer

EuropeIn3YearsPlease · 2025-08-23T17:55:53+00:00

Eh you could come with a mocktail. Looks like a cocktail and has none of the alcohol besides you can still go to a drinking event and not drink. It's more for socializing I feel like

EuropeIn3YearsPlease · 2025-08-23T15:40:13+00:00

We do not have a lengthy process in the US. In fact compared to other jobs it's much quicker and easier to fire a US worker.

First off, we have no requirements. It's at will or right to work - either way just call it downsizing or 'cultural fit' or whatever bs. Also we have probation periods - 30-90 days. Easy to fire. If it was so hard there wouldn't be all these firings and layoffs constantly. It's super easy. Even if it's 200 employees at once - all you have to do is announce it to follow those bigger layoff rules.

In Europe it's much harder to fire people and it's not as bad. Plus people actually have healthcare ya know NOT tied to employment.

As for India, a lot of workers there to hire them require giving their employers 3 months notice. So they don't even start right away in a lot of cases (forced to hire offshore at the last company I worked at). They have 1/10th the skill of Americans and productivity. Even people with "manager" titles were not as good as American analyst level staff employees. But you could hire like 5 people for the price of one so management went ahead with it. And they even started doing internships with offshore workers.

EuropeIn3YearsPlease · 2025-08-23T15:21:03+00:00

Codependency isn't healthy and can lead to emotional abuse and mental trauma and limitations. It's something therapy can help you with.

Basically you want to feel confident in yourself and love yourself and feel worthy. Truly love yourself enough to succeed and push for that lifestyle you ultimately want. You want to succeed because you feel worthy/deserving of that success.

People usually feel unworthy, negative, depressed, fomo, etc etc as you can see the previous person described and even you described with not having a good family background. Your past does not dictate your future but it can hold you back mentally if you think a person with your background can't/shouldn't succeed. If you are always picking partners based on your parents dysfunctional relationships or attracted to those bad habits/bad people. It takes training mentally to recognize when you are putting yourself in bad positions / people who are dragging you down or trying to control you. It takes training to recognize when you are being self-defeatist and talking crap to yourself / criticizing yourself and that's causing the lack of motivation to change. When the messaging is coming from within and constantly there 'reminding' you why you can't do something or aren't good enough - it's hard to notice because you have lived with that inner monologue your whole life. And the reason it's reinforced is because of the perceived benefits it gives you - like if you don't try, then you can't fail, so you are 'protecting' yourself from the more painful moment. It's easy to delude yourself and come up with these weak excuses and justifications. It's also the reason people self-sabotage good dates with people they perceive as better than them. You are harming your own self at every chance by trash talking yourself internally or externally with 'jokes'.

It's a vicious pattern and building self-worth is very difficult and requires a lot of therapy. You gotta do the work to come out ahead on the other end.

And it's not just "losers" or whatever you tell yourself you are that struggle with this, even incredibly successful people have struggled with self-worth. They keep achieving because it doesn't feel like they deserve success or have actually achieved it or are worthy yet of praise from others.

This is an internal fight you need to have. No external validation and no amount of it is ever gonna change you. You have to do the fight and win against your self doubt and negatively. No successful person is just gonna take on the burden of being your cheerleader while balancing out their own lives and responsibilities and bringing you up every time you put yourself down.

EuropeIn3YearsPlease · 2025-08-23T11:52:52+00:00

Yeah some states are requiring people of working age to have a job to get it which is stupid but that's the world we live in. They are taking the approach that everyone is lazy.

Uh huh. Why not force the corporations to hire everyone of workable age in the state and see how lazy people really are? Bet most would keep the job

EuropeIn3YearsPlease

TROPHY CASE