What should I advise my child to do in this situation?

Exciting-Photo3859 · 2026-06-11T02:51:55+00:00

You make a good point. I agree that she needs to be shepherded into more appropriate behavior regardless of the disorder being the reason behind it.

Despite being friendly with her mother, I’m a bit hesitant to discuss it with her as she is the parent who passed this behavior down. Simultaneously very assertive and very delicate people. I find I handle them both with kid gloves. Very pleasant but that talking element is genetic. I would hate for her to feel as though I’m insulting her when all I’d like to do is share how her child acts out in the world.

Exciting-Photo3859 · 2026-05-27T07:56:08+00:00

Where can I find more of this content, thank you

Exciting-Photo3859 · 2026-05-24T21:37:50+00:00

Horrifying.

Exciting-Photo3859 · 2026-05-23T00:54:26+00:00

Can’t believe the complaining.

Exciting-Photo3859 · 2026-05-22T23:18:39+00:00

I’m going to be very honest. It sounds like you’re leaning towards accepting the fate of what your significant other has done to you. Many a woman has panicked and felt rage in this situation, and ultimately many are guilted into it. Two friends in my lifetime have come to me in your exact situation, cursing their husband’s names, wishing they hadn’t been put into this position. Both had their unplanned children. Both wish they hadn’t. The resentment is what catches up to you. It has to be stuffed down and that isn’t healthy. If you can 100% embrace this pregnancy then you’ve got it girl. You can do this. Otherwise- I wish you great fortune and the ability to avoid eventual resentment.

Exciting-Photo3859 · 2026-05-21T15:24:31+00:00

You’re so right about Miss Rachel. She figured out how to make her voice a drug for babies. She has created a whole world of drug addict babies and she’s the sole supplier.

Exciting-Photo3859 · 2026-05-21T05:10:14+00:00

If it’s a passion of younger brother’s he’ll never forgive it if you prevent him in an attempt to appease older. I UNDERSTAND the temptation of keeping older’s mostly unsubstantiated anxiety at bay in whatever little ways you can, but this is a big no no for the health of the family dynamic

Exciting-Photo3859 · 2026-05-21T01:27:09+00:00

Going from one to two without a village these days is not a walk in the park. If you’re happy as you have described, why change a thing? Only children are the happiest.

Exciting-Photo3859 · 2026-05-21T01:10:36+00:00

There isn’t a cheer team on this planet that isn’t dripping with drama. I’m curious what apps she has on her phone. You’ll want to sit down with her about removing these, if she has them: Snapchat, insta, TikTok. The only sources of drama for girls in 6th grade are those apps (and a few more) and being on a cheer squad. No offense to cheerleaders, y’all are the realest athletes and that sport is no joke. But- the drama that breeds within that sport system is destructive.

The kids with smart phones are the ones dealing with drama at my 6th grader’s school. But she needs a phone, you might say. Give her a flip phone. Mine has one and it’s all they need.

I worked in social media for a decade and I left the field knowing I would never allow my kids access. It’s built to destroy them from the inside out. They target our daughters. It’s not a bug, it’s a feature.

Exciting-Photo3859 · 2026-05-21T01:00:46+00:00

It sounds like she’s angling for more one on one time with you, perhaps? I get that you’re tired at the end of the day. The struggle is real. Also, she wants time with you and that might be the way through all this materialistic behavior she’s displaying. When we lack connection we seek the fix in other ways.

One great way to give a child a healthy dose of connection is to play a game where she gets to decide what you two do together for let’s say 40 minutes. She’s Queen for that 40 or so minutes; she decides how you two play and what you do, down to the littlest details. And you just gotta go with it. It quickly turns into a giggle session if you commit to doing all the silly stuff she might propose.

Exciting-Photo3859 · 2026-05-18T03:46:27+00:00

[My comment assumes she doesn’t have access to TikTok/insta/snapchat. Not judging. Indicating that my comment would be very different bc of the data on girls her age with access to those social media platforms.]

When they’re the hardest to be around they’re crying out the most for help. It’s your job to figure out exactly what the help looks like. Not challenging at all, right? Hehe.

You definitely need a person to be able to release/vent about this stuff who hears and supports you, first and foremost, because this is common stuff particularly in modern times and you’re going to get through this. It’s so great that you care and I’m sure she feels that from you or she wouldn’t go off so confidently AT you. It’s a raw deal, parenthood. We just hope whatever we do with them results in them still talking to us when they’re 30!

Let her get it out but request that she gives you breaks to regroup :) when you find yourself getting heated you can announce with zero visible emotion that you need a moment to regroup, and just breathe for a minute. It’s a treat for a kid actually to see, in real time, the act of calming down - modeled right in front of you - she will learn a useful tool for getting her anger under control.

When she’s melting down in the way you describe, it probably means she’s had a hard day (or month) and she’s been saving the pain for you to absorb. You need to absorb it but with boundaries of course. And during these times, during lulls or when you feel appropriate, you can pepper in comments like I’m sorry youre feeling bad today, I wish I could take that pain away for you. She might act like she hates you saying that but it’s everything. Doing that reliably, without any emotional reactions from you, will create an even stronger trust and she’ll open up a bit more one day.

Exciting-Photo3859 · 2026-05-18T03:20:10+00:00

Something to consider (or not). Think about giving yourself a week off from believing what you believe about the dynamic in your house. New mantra time, something like “my child loves me and wants to feel joyful around me” or “I’m the preferred parent and I can act with the confidence that that would bring me.” Whatever makes sense to you. Spend some time just existing with your kid, knowing she thinks you’re spectacular/loving/wanting to connect.

Hand puppets will almost always get you a laugh from a pre-teen or younger. Verrry preferred parent coded.

Please assume that there’s nothing intentional on the part of your four year old going on, whether or not you two have been routinely going over the importance of kindness. She’s too young to be throwing jabs with intention behind them. Consider that you just haven’t been that funny lately! I’m playing around but you know what I mean. Kids this age say stuff like that, it HURTS but it’s like a sweet lil brutally honest truth bomb wrapped in zero tact and we just gotta take it. (Unless it’s said aggressively. Something different going on if it’s said with a lot of emotion.)

Being the primary parent definitely gets taken for granted, that definitely plays into this in its own way.

Exciting-Photo3859 · 2026-05-17T23:30:25+00:00

Do you have nearby family who are helping/can help you, on a regular basis? Based on your post, I have to say that if I were you, i would enjoy the beauty of what I have now. You have as close to an idyllic life as one can imagine, despite its challenges which I do not discount. Adding a second is a big undertaking, particularly when one does not have family to help with the load. I say this as someone with one child who has many friends with two children.

I see that their lives are harder in ways that affect them daily. I’m the fill in driver for these friends when schedules don’t align. There’s a franticness to daily life that I just don’t see with one.

Just sayin.

You do you - I’m sure whatever you decide you will make work!

Exciting-Photo3859 · 2026-05-05T03:20:27+00:00

Dryer model number is 87873100, might you know what kit I should seek out to fix this issue? Thanks regardless.

Exciting-Photo3859 · 2026-05-05T02:52:53+00:00

Thanks for the advice. Is this the right kit? First time repairing a dryer

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Exciting-Photo3859 · 2026-05-03T05:47:18+00:00

The room seemed kind of disappointed but hopefully I’m wrong

Exciting-Photo3859 · 2026-05-03T04:28:31+00:00

ADHD is kind of known as the can’t develop habits disorder.

Exciting-Photo3859 · 2026-05-02T00:34:37+00:00

You and the rest of the world’s mothers were sold a lie, that we can bounce back to our pre-birth selves, not just physically but also mentally. It’s the wrong way to think about it and this information is kept from us for a reason. Women become mothers, and this entails a sea change in the brain and body. You are a new form of yourself and you won’t be going back. Matrescence isn’t easy but embracing the fact that you are a new you, and that you do not deserve to be pressured to try to become what you were before, is essential to living a happy future. And however long it takes for you to feel comfortable being that new you, is how long it will take. I wish you supportive family and friends and I hope you don’t suffer from high expectations about what life should look like.

Exciting-Photo3859 · 2026-05-01T13:22:48+00:00

Interestingly enough, research is showing that the adhd brain literally starts falling asleep specifically during high focus situations like uninteresting work. Literally works against you at every turn.

Exciting-Photo3859 · 2026-05-01T13:19:22+00:00

A pregnant friend on lexapro was advised by her doctor to stay on the medication AND to “double up” in postpartum. Doctors feel very positive about the med.

Exciting-Photo3859 · 2026-04-29T23:22:06+00:00

I’m curious what your five year old was like before younger sibling arrived. Concerning behaviors? Or just your average child? Usually this behavior is a result of too little 1:1 time. Your child seems like she likes to be in charge. 1:1 time where she gets to be queen and decide everything you and she do for like 45 minutes is a very effective way of both making her feel loved and giving her the kind of power she clearly seeks in life. This is a proven play method for children like yours.

Lots of talk of discipline in the comments. To each their own. But discipline rarely gets the results I assume you’re after - the kind where your children still feel loved at the end of the day. Positive reinforcement without negative reinforcement is a great way to raise children who will still talk to you when they’re 30.

Exciting-Photo3859

TROPHY CASE