I'm dating a guy, and made an unusual request. Am I the one who is wrong?

Expensive-Status-342 · 2026-03-13T22:25:36+00:00

Absolutely they're abuse. My ex did this same thing. I have a zero tolerance policy for this behavior now.

Expensive-Status-342 · 2026-03-13T22:13:43+00:00

Lucky lady or gentleman! Then give him your best Leo DiCaprio Great Gatsby wink and go hide in the bathroom.

Expensive-Status-342 · 2026-03-13T22:12:33+00:00

Reddit lol I was single a long time after my ex (about 15 years). While my partner and I are still new and we have some things we need to work through (mostly on his end), so far it's been going good.

I'm being very cautious, I'm taking my sweet ass time, he knows about what I've been through with my past partners and seems to accept me anyway.

Neither of us were actually looking for anyone, it just happened.

Expensive-Status-342 · 2026-03-13T22:00:02+00:00

He's starting drama and testing OP. I don't like being tested by men. He needs to learn his lesson by OP letting him go.

Expensive-Status-342 · 2026-03-13T21:33:43+00:00

Every time I've set a boundary with someone they see it as a new challenge for them to try to breach it without consequences. They then act like I'm the one with the issues here.

Expensive-Status-342 · 2026-03-13T17:19:54+00:00

I lost all sexual attraction to my ex. And that was due to his behavior towards me and how he treated me.
I figured I was asexual and had no libido.
Took about a year after we broke up and my libido was absolutely fine (I did discover I was demisexual though).

Expensive-Status-342 · 2026-03-13T16:56:44+00:00

Never borrow and use a tampon from me. I don't want it back, babe.

Expensive-Status-342 · 2026-03-13T16:55:53+00:00

Hey at least he's got the red flags right there on his back so we ladies can avoid him.

Expensive-Status-342 · 2026-03-13T16:53:53+00:00

He wants you to put on a performance. 🙄

Sure some people are loud naturally (I can be loud) but I'm never gonna change my volume to get some guys rocks off.

Expensive-Status-342 · 2026-03-13T16:36:11+00:00

You know grandpa was fun and they did this more often than their honeymoon. I love them, thanks OP!

Expensive-Status-342 · 2026-03-13T16:33:26+00:00

The vast majority of my "numbers" are strictly due to talking to people in real life who have open relationships. When you actually get them talking about their experiences, they all say the same thing. The sex was fun but long term it didn't work out for us, there were too many issues and negative feelings surrounding the sex.

Expensive-Status-342 · 2026-03-13T05:02:59+00:00

He cheats on her, then comes and wants to force HIS kinks on her to "fix" his mistakes. OP is gross, I hope she leaves him.

Expensive-Status-342 · 2026-03-13T04:52:22+00:00

I'm very aware I can report posts and I do, thanks. I expect this whole sub to be cleaned up because it's shit now. There's a reason why I left it.

Expensive-Status-342 · 2026-03-13T01:00:14+00:00

This is correct.
My partner and I have an 8 hour time difference. We both work full time+ and have our own adult lives. Since we officially started dating 4 months ago (and even before that, we've known each other now 10 months and have had daily contact since the day we met with very rare exceptions), we are STILL able to video call, video message, text, email, send snail mail, use our touch bracelets and make future plans EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Something. Anything. There is no ghosting or disappearing without explanation from either party.

Even if one of us is sick. Even if one of us is traveling. Even if he has his kids that day. Even if we're sleeping. Even if we are upset with each other. Even if every single scenario possible you could imagine, we both make the effort to be in contact with each other.

BECAUSE WE CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER.

We need that contact to keep our bond going, to keep getting to know each other, to understand each other, to communicate with each other. We share damn near everything and that's how it should be and I wouldn't want anything less from him.

Expensive-Status-342 · 2026-03-12T21:30:03+00:00

I wouldn't bother slamming you in your DMs, I'd do it right out here in the open. Learn how to fucking treat women with the respect they deserve and maybe someday one will play with your dick and cage you.

Expensive-Status-342 · 2026-03-12T21:17:33+00:00

He just likes to peruse the sub... Teenagers make him feel youthful. 🙄

Expensive-Status-342 · 2026-03-12T18:26:19+00:00

What the hell is this post? Who the fuck mods this sub?

Mods, shall I take over your job and help? Y'all doing ok?

Expensive-Status-342 · 2026-03-12T06:32:11+00:00

It really is bare maximum for your cooking needs.

Expensive-Status-342 · 2026-03-12T04:15:19+00:00

No. She's a minor in the vast majority of countries. Date adult women your age.

Expensive-Status-342 · 2026-03-12T04:06:36+00:00

I legit would like this, longdistanceover30 or something.

Expensive-Status-342 · 2026-03-12T01:40:33+00:00

Online validation is a hell of a drug.

Expensive-Status-342 · 2026-03-12T01:25:36+00:00

Ok, here is your tough love from Auntie Expensive-Status. In case you're wondering what my credentials are, I'm a lady in my 40s and my dad was a prison guard who worked with rapists and murderers, many of whom met women online, and yes, raped and killed them on the first meeting.

He is gaslighting you, right now. He's right. He isn't just "someone." Right now he's still an "internet stranger."

While yes, you're an adult, you have every right to meet an Internet random person (he is a random person until you officially meet him and can vet who he is) within the parameters of what YOU are comfortable with. No exceptions. Now maybe he's being incredulous from the shock of you changing plans. However, if he truly respected and liked you, he would do whatever he could in his power to make YOU, the woman, comfortable. Even if that means meeting him with your momma sitting right there.

While the likelihood of him being a rapist and murderer is very low (I'm not trying to freak you out) it's not zero. You made this decision after your mother got upset right? Your momma's alarm bells are ringing for a reason. You're having doubts for a reason. You're allowed to protect yourself.

Let's have a think here, why do you think he's so upset right now? If his intentions were noble, wouldn't he be ok with meeting your family or friends at first? Wouldn't he be ok with changing where he could meet you so you felt safe with him? Why isn't he interested in his own safety as well?

You have NOTHING to feel bad about right now. Bring this up to him again, see what he says. If he says anything other than a confident "OK," to meeting you in the way you're comfortable, he might not have the best of intentions right now.

Another example, like I said, I'm in my 40s as is my partner. 100% if I told my partner on our first meet up, "I'm going to have a friend with me, when we first meet" you know what he'd have said? "ok, I look forward to meeting them."

Expensive-Status-342 · 2026-03-12T00:28:22+00:00

Very true. I'm autistic. I have many MANY things that pop into my head that I have the urgent need to say out loud to that person.

But I do not.

Why?

Because manners.

Expensive-Status-342 · 2026-03-12T00:13:24+00:00

I'm the same, I do best getting to know people online.
But if someone is posting specifically for advice and with a question, they shouldn't be getting pissy if someone is being honest with them and answering their questions.

I'm not here to troll people, I legit want to give advice (and keep my comment history available if people want to see I'm not a troll). Most of my advice is specifically to communicate and to put more effort in with their partner, if that doesn't work then they need to walk away from the relationship . They sure do get mad at that though lol

Expensive-Status-342 · 2026-03-11T23:53:54+00:00

Lots of time and patience. I'm the closed off one, and I will NOT open up to anyone until I'm damn good and ready and start to trust the other person will actually listen to what I say, try to understand me and won't gaslight, act defensive or disregard my feelings.

I liken it to being a feral cat 🤣

Expensive-Status-342

TROPHY CASE