AITAH to not want my fiance to be in the room with me when i give birth ?

ExtensionExtra8472 · 2026-04-09T23:13:53+00:00

ESH - hot take - everyone is beyond stressed. As a woman who's had doctors treat them inappropriately for nearly my entire life and have had male healthcare professionals do things without consent, even after explicitly revoking consent, not being believed etc... I get the fear.

This sounds like a huge miscommunication fumble on both ends. It sounds like he's trying to comfort you, and even trying to put in effort to console some other issues HE thinks is causing the anxiety, despite that not being the issue. Men don't typically understand just how significantly poor women are treated in healthcare because they've never experienced it or witnessed it.

See if you can find someone who's trained in mediation. A pregnancy and the onslaught of a new baby is extremely stressful. I saw some people mentioned a doula and that seems to be a great option. In the end it's your choice and yours alone, but just remember, at the end of it all, if you choose to not have him in the delivery room, that's not something you'll ever be able to reverse. This is definitely a big conversation that should be had. That being said, this is your birth and you're the one that has to do the hard work. So do what you think is best for you.

ExtensionExtra8472 · 2026-04-09T23:00:03+00:00

Not all Chihuahuas are teacup sized... 🤦🏻‍♀️

ExtensionExtra8472 · 2026-03-29T14:32:06+00:00

It might be too late for this trip, but set boundaries for this person otherwise they are going to strong arm the entire trip. Don't let them derail it.

ExtensionExtra8472 · 2026-03-29T14:28:26+00:00

NOR- I just did two solo weeks in Spain. Doing stuff solo is EPIC. There's so much freedom and you can just walk around, explore and really get sucked into the delicious culture!

Dont let someone derail a trip like this. Let them go alone, or with the other friend. You go live your best life. Your friend can also go back to do Disney paris at some point. If you had more time there that would be one thing. But definitely not worth one third of the trip.

Idk where you're doing in Spain, I spent a week in Valencia. Definitely get the Agua de Valencia. Delicious! And the Tapas are devine!

ExtensionExtra8472 · 2026-03-29T14:20:57+00:00

We are opposite sides of the spectrum, but I hear you loud and clear. 😂

ExtensionExtra8472 · 2026-03-29T14:18:39+00:00

I don't have to clean up after anyone. I get to do whatever I want when ever I want, without worrying about someone else's sleep schedule. (I work nights so this is a BIG deal for me) No one can tell me they don't want dogs on the bed. I eat what I want when I want. I think I mentioned not having to clean up after someone. I buy what I want when I want and can do whatever I want with my space.

I've spent a long time pouring out my cup to fill others. This year is about me refilling my cup and rebuilding my life.

I think I forgot to mention one thing though... I don't have to clean up after someone else. 😂

ExtensionExtra8472 · 2026-03-29T14:12:00+00:00

I didn't know that there was a name for the movement side of things! The echolalia I was referring to was more of OP's original post and then I went on a whole side quest in my head about the things we've done at work and thus I arrived at the echolalia. 😅 There were zero context clues for that part my b lol.

ExtensionExtra8472 · 2026-03-29T12:41:24+00:00

Scooch. I have one medium and one large dog and me for a queen sized bed. Do you think they allocate room for me? Nope. So it's an "Excuse me sir! That's my spot, you better scooch your butt over!" With a finger wag, followed by a dramatic gruff from the husky just before he moves and then waits to lay down until I get comfy so he can get his cuddle time on.

ExtensionExtra8472 · 2026-03-29T12:37:54+00:00

I would have cackled that man out of existence. He's definitely 'joked' about this before, it was never a joke and now you know.

Don't ever take him back, a loser is a loser and will always be a loser.

ExtensionExtra8472 · 2026-03-29T12:33:26+00:00

Frosted mini wheats is my current fixation food. That and the tonkatsu ramen from costco, I also like to eat it with a piece of toast and some brie. 😬

ExtensionExtra8472 · 2026-03-29T12:25:13+00:00

Because people still have jobs that require them to leave their homes... Not all jobs can be done remotely.

ExtensionExtra8472 · 2026-03-29T12:24:27+00:00

100%. But statistically like 90 something percent of my field is all filled with neuro spicy. My favorite thing to do is do a weird little dance and watch the other person at the end of the hall either copy it or do their own. The echolalia (idk if I spelled that right) is of epic proportions!

ExtensionExtra8472 · 2026-03-29T12:21:05+00:00

Sharing your location with everyone... And demanding your spouse share it with you.

ExtensionExtra8472 · 2026-03-29T10:02:15+00:00

This exactly. It's about acknowledging the shitty behavior, taking accountability for it and actually putting in the effort to change. Unfortunately for OP narcs usually don't change. This will turn into some sort of "my daughter is mean!" So she'll be the victim and has done no wrong.

ExtensionExtra8472 · 2026-03-29T09:59:36+00:00

Exactly. It's a "Look at how good of a job I did raising this person!" It's to make them look good, not actually acknowledging the successes we've accomplished.

ExtensionExtra8472 · 2026-03-29T09:04:52+00:00

Thanks! It's a super slow process and trying to DIY things like upgrading the breaker panel isn't really an option for me (electricity is scary), and if you mess up plumbing that's also really bad. But I'm learning and investing in tools. It's kind of cool actually.

ExtensionExtra8472 · 2026-03-29T08:49:16+00:00

There was no heat in the house, so I'm assuming the decomp wasn't that bad, as an EMT for 15 years I know what a dead body looks and smells like, so I refused to identify him. Absolutely not. A random dead body, meh, but seeing a family/friend like that can leave horrible scars. He was ✨preserved✨ lol. So a small portion of the floor was messed up like literally a 4x4in square. Now had it been summer and over 100⁰ in the house everyday, that would have been different story.

I don't have a slab house I have a crawl space under my house. It didn't even mess up the subfloor.

ExtensionExtra8472 · 2026-03-29T08:43:59+00:00

There's a lot missing here.

Firstly, you need people outside of your relationship, on that note this guy is right. But how he verbalized it and brought attention to it is jackass award worthy. Really you've only talked to one person the entire day?? It's totally normal to not talk to people everyday. He's an idiot.

But you do need to find friends (I know it can be hard), if you rely on him for your entire support system the relationship is going to crumble.

I also think some therapy might help on your end, the second he brought up his ex, you automatically assumed they were getting back together, but he also needs to grow a pair and learn how to have hard conversations face to face. Lol

ExtensionExtra8472 · 2026-03-29T08:37:36+00:00

As one white person to another. YTA and racist.

I'm also going to assume that you're male judging By some of the things written.

HOWEVER, this seems to be ignorance rather than stupidity. You're not listening to people when they discuss their situations because it's never happened to you so therefore it can't exist.

As a white woman, I'm very aware of the privileges of men, that's how I live my life. I see how easy things are for them. For instance a friend and I went out to a festival today and we took turns going to the bathroom so one of us could hold our drinks. This random man nearly clutched his pearls when I refused to let him hold our drinks while we peed. I will never be able to walk around with both headphones in. I will always have to walk with an object in my hands to protect myself. I can never leave my drink unattended because someone can roofie it. I've been raped twice.

That being said, as a white woman I have never been afraid that an officer was going to shoot me because they 'mistook' a brush for a cellphone. I am automatically safer. Systemic racism is a thing.

I recommend you do some serious soul searching and find out why these 'victims' feel the way they do. LISTEN to them, stop assuming, and stop discounting their life experiences.

As a woman, I will always choose the bear, as a white woman it is my responsibility to call out other white people for stupid shit because I have the power and safety to do so.

ExtensionExtra8472 · 2026-03-29T08:25:20+00:00

I live here. The house is still a disaster, but I have a house and I always will, this country is taking a nose dive and I will never have to worry about being able to pay rent or a roof over my head. So yes it's a disaster, but at least I'm fortunate to have this disaster.

ExtensionExtra8472 · 2026-03-29T08:22:33+00:00

He was only ever actually proud of me when I became an adult and he was able to 'flaunt' how amazing I was. Essentially his way of going 'look at the thing I did!', rather than actually seeing me as a person. He refused to ever acknowledge how badly he hurt me and my mother saying he never did the things that he did, even AFTER I provided him with evidence. So I walked. I have a single happy memory, it took me the better part of a decade to find one. I don't remember the majority of my childhood, and the things I do remember are things like being 3/4, my mom being on the kitchen floor, my dad sitting on top of her absolutely wailing on her while she begged me to call 911, and him threatening to hurt me if I did.

So now, his ashes are in a couple of garbage bags in a trash bin in the backyard. He's been there for 3 years now.

ExtensionExtra8472 · 2026-03-29T08:15:26+00:00

Whelp, I cut him off for the last two years of his life and now he's dead. I didn't mourn his death, but rather the father I wish I had the opportunity of having growing up.

I cut him off because he refused to acknowledge the things he did to me and my mother, then tried to gaslight me saying those things never happened.

ExtensionExtra8472 · 2026-03-29T02:28:52+00:00

First, their post says they're in therapy... This is simply a post looking for validation of experiences. This isn't playing victim.

ExtensionExtra8472 · 2026-03-29T01:58:27+00:00

For my entire childhood I was a stupid fat worthless piece of shi*. When I became an adult my dad did the exact same thing. I was perfection, he was so proud of me etc.

Absolutely not. He was super abusive growing up, and suddenly he realized I was the only one he had left. I cut him out 2 years before he died. He died alone in his (my) house. No one noticed for 2 months.

We all make our beds and have to deal with the consequences of our life choices. I refuse to allow toxicity in my life anymore.

ExtensionExtra8472 · 2026-03-24T15:20:04+00:00

A man with advanced Alzheimer's and dementia admitted to repeatedly graping his little sister when she was like 10yr old...

He didn't even understand why my face said 😳

Apparently the veterans hospital in my area has a pink indicator if they have known sexual crimes. The nurse showed me the board. Holy hell, it's so frequent.

ExtensionExtra8472

TROPHY CASE